Relationship between Mary and Alexandra

[auntie]

The way I see the comparison between Mary an Alex is as following:
When HRH Prince Joachim met Alex she was beautiful, sofisticated, well off, highly intelligent and educated and even though she wasnt a royal, she came from the upper class, her father being a diplomat etc. She was swept of her heels, in love and fitted totally into the image we all want our princesses to be, noone doubted that!
When HRH CPrince Fredrick met Mary, she was a nice, warm average next door girl, from a good family. If what she said is true, they developed a friendship before falling in love, their long courtship, and Mary's aloofness when they were engaged caused the Danish public to be divided in their opinion, She does fabulous work, but yes, it is hard to be compared to Alexandra, who has that background and experience, boy she would have made a great Queen!

 

[HenrikaB]

Mary and Alexandra are two very different individuals. Each is beautiful in her own way and brings her own unique individuality to the role of Princess.

 

[royaltywatcher]

The way I see the comparison between Mary an Alex is as following:
When HRH Prince Joachim met Alex she was beautiful, sofisticated, well off, highly intelligent and educated and even though she wasnt a royal, she came from the upper class, her father being a diplomat etc. She was swept of her heels, in love and fitted totally into the image we all want our princesses to be, noone doubted that!
When HRH CPrince Fredrick met Mary, she was a nice, warm average next door girl, from a good family. If what she said is true, they developed a friendship before falling in love, their long courtship, and Mary's aloofness when they were engaged caused the Danish public to be divided in their opinion, She does fabulous work, but yes, it is hard to be compared to Alexandra, who has that background and experience, boy she would have made a great Queen!

Wow, except for a few minor points, I think you hit the nail on the head. You described Alexandra and her entry into the royal family perfectly and I agree, she would have made a great queen.

Your description of Mary is also accurate, although I might quibble with the word "warm" and in fact you yourself also used the word "aloof".

What a great analysis.

 

[grevinnan]

Alexandra doesn't need Mary's support. Alexandra is by far the most elegant, intelligent and capable of the two. She probably has QM ear if she needs someone in the royal family to connect with.

 

[auntie]

Wow, except for a few minor points, I think you hit the nail on the head. You described Alexandra and her entry into the royal family perfectly and I agree, she would have made a great queen.

Your description of Mary is also accurate, although I might quibble with the word "warm" and in fact you yourself also used the word "aloof".

What a great analysis.

Thanks for your compliment, When I meant warm, I meant to Fredrick, and aloof to the public

 

[RubyPrincess168]

Relationship between Crown Princess Mary and Princess Alexandra

I was just wondering what kind of relationship Crown Princess Mary and Princess Alexandra have. Princess Alexandra seemed to be on her way out of the family just as Crown Princess Mary was entering it. If I were Mary I would have looked to Alexandra for advice and friendship in the strange new relationship.

 

[Madame Royale]

The Crown Princess's relationship with the Countess is one that has remained rather untouched, or shall we say...non-circulated for tabloid matter.

My guess - and it is only a guess - is that Mary and Alexandra get along fine but dont see each other all that much.

Mary would have been well aware of Joachim and Alexandra's intentions to seperate. I mean, they officially seperated after Frederik and Mary's wedding so there's no question she would have known for quite some time.

Just a little clarification...

HH Princess Alexandra, countess of Frederiksborg is still a member of the Danish Royal House.

http://kongehuset.dk/publish.php?dogtag=k_en_fam

 

[Napoleon]

Alex is not the kind of woman who needs her own kur to make a statement about her own work for charities.

that's fine if it's the only reason why you would do it. but if CPM actually did it to make better contact and communication with her patronages, then the question still stands, why didn't Alexandra?

 

[UserDane]

that's fine if it's the only reason why you would do it. but if CPM actually did it to make better contact and communication with her patronages, then the question still stands, why didn't Alexandra?

Good point Napoleon.

Besides, Mary is a CP with the obligations this entails and she is not under any obligation to follow only in the footsteps of her ex-sister in law IMO. Alexandra is not a sort of semi-goodness who must be copied!

 

[PrincessDianafan]

I think Princess Alexandra is a member of the Royal House, not a member of the royal family, if I am not mistaken; those are two separate things.

 

[galuhcandrakirana]

that's fine if it's the only reason why you would do it. but if CPM actually did it to make better contact and communication with her patronages, then the question still stands, why didn't Alexandra?

Just like what some posters said that Mary and Alexandra are different person, Alexandra has her own way in making a better contact and communication with her patronages and if she doesn't do what Mary do I think it is just fine.

Good point Napoleon.
Besides, Mary is a CP with the obligations this entails and she is not under any obligation to follow only in the footsteps of her ex-sister in law IMO. Alexandra is not a sort of semi-goodness who must be copied!

I agree with you about it and it is also applied for Alexandra (she doesn't need to follow the footsteps of Mary).

HH Princess Alexandra has her ownway to do her duty .

I think Princess Alexandra is a member of the Royal House, not a member of the royal family, if I am not mistaken; those are two separate things.

I think in officially the princess is not a member of Royal family, but non officialy she is still considered as a member of the family because of she is mother of the queen two grandsons.

Btw, where can I find the source which explain the differences beetwen royal family and royal house (they are two separate things) in detil does anybody can help???

 

[magnik]

Not the best source but that's first what I thought:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_house
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_family

 

[Jo of Palatine]

It is really interesting what kind of questions concerning human relationships come up on this forum.

I really enjoy thinking possibilities through as an approach to "human behaviour" and psychology.

As for Mary and Alex: I'm sure the women met before the wedding as Mary spend some weekends in Denmark with Frederik prior to their engagement. But, when I consider the situation both women were in - Alexandra on the verge of divorce, Mary knowing that her marriage - if one happened - had to be a success - I personally don't think there was much ground for inner companionship. I mean, friendships grow. There are friendships that simply work spontaneously. But there are others as well. Quieter ones. Or more complicated ones which happen even though or especially if the person has had the same background but is not your emotional "best friend"-type.

I have no idea if Alexandra and Mary "connected" at all. I cannot recall pictures of them together. It could be that they talk to each other on a daily basis on the phone or that they never have any contact at all.

Are there clues as to how it really is? At the moment I don't see grounds for speculations here but am interested in learning if there are sources about this relationship.

 

[Ms Griffin]

I cannot recall pictures of them together.

I think there might only be 3 official occasions we know of. The first one was between wedding and separation. The (paparazzi) picture was taken at one of the castles, Mary and maybe someone else going in the front, Alex and others trailing behind. The second one was (ca.) 1,5 years ago at some fashion show and the third (official) occasion we know of was a paparazzi picture showing Alex (and the boys?) at F+M's home shortly after Christian's birth.

But there might be the meetings of the family where they discuss who attends what event and where Alex might be present. Well, I would assume she's present.


Other then that we don't know much about their relationship or lack thereof.

 

[ricarda]

There were more than 3 official occasions:
Opening of Parliament 2004, Christmas 2004, New Opera House, HCA event (3 days), Opening of Danfoss, New Years Court,
just a few examples that immediately came to my mind, I'm sure one could find more occasions.

But of course that doesn't say much about their relationship.
We can only guess about that.
My guess is they are not too close.
Besides the family situation (divorce) there is a considerable age difference of 8 years.

 

[princess olga]

It is really interesting what kind of questions concerning human relationships come up on this forum.

I really enjoy thinking possibilities through as an approach to "human behaviour" and psychology.

As for Mary and Alex: I'm sure the women met before the wedding as Mary spend some weekends in Denmark with Frederik prior to their engagement. But, when I consider the situation both women were in - Alexandra on the verge of divorce, Mary knowing that her marriage - if one happened - had to be a success - I personally don't think there was much ground for inner companionship.

Couldn't agree more, I get the same impression. When Mary was new on the scene, she and Alexandra were on entirely different planets. As far as the divorce, Mary probably took the high road on that, not wanting to get into things and not wanting to take sides betw. Joachim and his wife. This situation cannot have helped a new friendship blossom, especially not since one wife was about to divorce the brother of the new fiancee of the other!

Also, those pictures that we <do> have of these women together don't ooze warmth between them for some reason.

 

[PrincessDianafan]

Whatever the situation is there could be some unspoken rivalry, resentment. We will never know. But looking at the facts

! Alexandra was a princess for nine years before mary came along. She was the glamourous princess from another country. Most of the attention was one her.

One Mary arrived the focused shift. Mary was about to celebrate her wedding and her new life. A similar life that once held so much promise and was coming to an end for Alexandra.

While Mary was feted and celebrated, Alexandra was downgraded to HH. She had to move out of the home she had known for nine years, he beloved dog Oscar had to be put down and she was venturing into unknown territory. No longer a member of the Royal family but not entirely out of it either.

Let's face it, whatever the cause of the split, the royals would have to remain loyal to Joachim. It must have been a very difficult time for Alexandra and it would have been almost impossible to form a real bond with Mary at that time, when the family knew what was going on before the rest of us and lines were drawn as to where their loyalties lay.

 

[auntie]

Let's face it, whatever the cause of the split, the royals would have to remain loyal to Joachim. It must have been a very difficult time for Alexandra and it would have been almost impossible to form a real bond with Mary at that time, when the family knew what was going on before the rest of us and lines were drawn as to where their loyalties lay.

Very well said! you desdcribed the situatiuon exactly as it is!

Recently I looked at some clips ot Fred and Mary's wedding, and I couldn't help noticing the difference in the way Mary behaved in comparison to Alex 9 years before, no offense to Mary,and I am not talking about her marriage, but it seemed that she was trying so hard to play the part of a royal, she looked like she was acting, even the famous Waltz, and going down the aisle, which is usually so emotional, she seemed so arrogant and hoity toity, Alex on the other hand was SOO in love, it is so apparant from the wedding pics and video, ah yes, sometimes good things come to an end. Maybe this ambition of perfectionism that Mary seems to have is what will help her marriage last over the years...

 

[politikgirl]

I don't think Mary was arrogant. I think that although she was and is head over heels in love with Frederik, she realized that the wedding was more than a personal ceremony of love, but also a very important symbol for her newly adopted country that she would one day be the queen of, and thus acted professionally. This is not to say that Alexandra is unprofessional - she has always been a professional princess - but I don't think that Mary should be compared negatively just because the two princesses behaved differently on their wedding days. Besides, I think Mary looked radiantly happy, but she was probably nervous, trying to do everything properly (this was, of course, her first "event" as a royal) and was trying to be composed.

 

[Madame Royale]

she seemed so arrogant and hoity toity, Alex on the other hand was SOO in love, it is so apparant from the wedding pics and video, ah yes, sometimes good things come to an end. Maybe this ambition of perfectionism that Mary seems to have is what will help her marriage last over the years...

Your view and that is perfectly fine but I disagree wholeheartedly with your observations (respectively)

If being somewhat overcome by emotion and nervousness (as is clear on the Crown Princely Wedding DVD) is to be 'hoity toity' (not sure exactly what that means but I find it very amusing ) then what is the excuse for many a bride around the world?

and going down the aisle, which is usually so emotional

Really? I was certain I could make out Mary becoming quite glassy eyed as she walked up the aisle. She didn't weep (whilst making her way to the alter) but nonetheless she seemed very much effected by the ceremony and the magnitude of it all.

 

[TamaraKhan]

Personally,I even don't think to compare alexandra and Mary,I think everybody is what he is,and it's not by comparisons that we can proove or not that one is better than the other,people are different and they have different histories and lives,so why to compare them,it's like comparing apples and oranges.

 

[Australian]

Really? I was certain I could make out Mary becoming quite glassy eyed as she walked up the aisle. She didn't weep (whilst making her way to the alter) but nonetheless she seemed very much effected by the ceremony and the magnitude of it all.

I agree with you Madame Royale. Mary did actually cry sometimes during the ceremony, i'm sure i saw footage of her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Mary walked up the aisle the way she wanted to, the way she dreamed of walking up the aisle and if that is how she evisoned herself walking down the aisle, the good on her. It was her wedding afterall and that is how she wanted to walk up the aisle.

I do respect your opinions on this auntie, its great to see many different perspectives.

 

[UserDane]

Personally,I even don't think to compare alexandra and Mary,I think everybody is what he is,and it's not by comparisons that we can proove or not that one is better than the other,people are different and they have different histories and lives,so why to compare them,it's like comparing apples and oranges.

Well put TamaraKhan - couldn't agree more.

 

[ricarda]

Recently I looked at some clips ot Fred and Mary's wedding, and I couldn't help noticing the difference in the way Mary behaved in comparison to Alex 9 years before, no offense to Mary,and I am not talking about her marriage, but it seemed that she was trying so hard to play the part of a royal, she looked like she was acting, even the famous Waltz, and going down the aisle, which is usually so emotional, she seemed so arrogant and hoity toity, Alex on the other hand was SOO in love, it is so apparant from the wedding pics and video, ah yes, sometimes good things come to an end. Maybe this ambition of perfectionism that Mary seems to have is what will help her marriage last over the years...

I have totally different impressions.

Though I agree that Mary sometimes was trying too hard to appear "royal"
I did not see any arrogance and thought she looked quite nervous and emotional
when she arrived at the church and went down the aisle but tried to supress it.
(Therefore she did not appear as emotional as Frederik.)
Afterwards she relaxed a bit, cried during her mother's favourite song
and was very emotional during her husband's speech.

Alex on the other hand appeared like a woman with absolute selfconfidence and a load of charme
but I personally could not see that she was SOO in love with Joachim.
(And I still can't if I look at their wedding pictures.)
He seemed very much in love with her, she seemed very pleased with the whole situation.
Alexandra generally shows a warm smile/perfect fassade but not much emotion IMO.
That was so at her wedding and it was so after her divorce annoucement.
(Joachim on the other side looked like he just came out of hell.)

And I think (and hope) the true love Mary seems to have for Frederik and he for her (which was so apparent at their wedding)
will help them to make their marriage last over the years.

 

[Madame Royale]

I agree with you Madame Royale. Mary did actually cry sometimes during the ceremony, i'm sure i saw footage of her dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Mary walked up the aisle the way she wanted to, the way she dreamed of walking up the aisle and if that is how she evisoned herself walking down the aisle, the good on her. It was her wedding afterall and that is how she wanted to walk up the aisle.

I do respect your opinions on this auntie, its great to see many different perspectives.

Mary did wipe tears away from her eyes at one stage of the ceremony (that we know of), with what I believe to have been a silk handkerchief.

During Prince Henrik's, her father's and the Queen's speeches, Mary showed signs of emotion. And certainly during her husbands speech

BTW: I also thought Mary (although radiant) looked a little tired on her wedding day. I think she had had a very big week beforehand.

 

[seto]

The thing that a lot of people don't seem to understand is no two people act the same in situations. Our emotions show in different ways that is not wrong that is just how it is. There is not text book way of handling our emotions basically we are all different. I have an extreme example I know people who don't cry at funerals no matter who the deceased is , in some peoples eyes they are unfeeling. In actuality they simply keep their emotions to themselves.

 

[RachelD]

The thing that a lot of people don't seem to understand is no two people act the same in situations. Our emotions show in different ways that is not wrong that is just how it is. There is not text book way of handling our emotions basically we are all different. I have an extreme example I know people who don't cry at funerals no matter who the deceased is , in some peoples eyes they are unfeeling. In actuality they simply keep their emotions to themselves.

I must agree with you. No two people are the same and because of this we all react differently to situations.

 

[fromEU]

Funnily, I have always seen Princess Alexandra as an exceptionally good and fresh representative for the danish monarchy and royal house. I still do. But after Crown Princess Mary came into the picture, Princess Alexandras past contributions has paled a bit, to me at least. All Princess Alexandras work suddenly seems to only have been proffesional. Princess Alexandra is proffesional, bot somehow nothing more I think Princess Alexandra was lucky comming into the royal house when every thing at a time was a little quiete. She had a blank canvas, she could fill out just with a smile and the press at the time was much more nice than today. But looking back now, it all just seems professional. Professional is the word, but nothing more, to me.

 

[Australian]

How boring the world would be if everyone was the same. I think the differences in these women should be embraced. They are both very fine women

 

[princess olga]

The thing that a lot of people don't seem to understand is no two people act the same in situations. Our emotions show in different ways that is not wrong that is just how it is. There is not text book way of handling our emotions basically we are all different. I have an extreme example I know people who don't cry at funerals no matter who the deceased is , in some peoples eyes they are unfeeling. In actuality they simply keep their emotions to themselves.

Couldn't agree more. I mean, it's not a requirement, now is it, to cry at one's own nuptials?
Not to mention the fact that crying at one's wedding doesn't necessarily equate being a whorthy person, who on the planet came up with that definition?! On the contrary, crying on your wedding can also be translated as you being at least, a self-involved naval gazer! To be so overcome by the fact that you, (as in, "one") of all people, are being wed, oh my gosh that must just be <the> most moving moment in the history of the whole wide world! Ugh. I'm glad not every bride cries at her ceremony.

I have totally different impressions.

Though I agree that Mary sometimes was trying too hard to appear "royal"
I did not see any arrogance and thought she looked quite nervous and emotional
when she arrived at the church and went down the aisle but tried to supress it.
(Therefore she did not appear as emotional as Frederik.)
Afterwards she relaxed a bit, cried during her mother's favourite song
and was very emotional during her husband's speech.

Alex on the other hand appeared like a woman with absolute selfconfidence and a load of charme
but I personally could not see that she was SOO in love with Joachim.
(And I still can't if I look at their wedding pictures.)
He seemed very much in love with her, she seemed very pleased with the whole situation.
Alexandra generally shows a warm smile/perfect fassade but not much emotion IMO.
That was so at her wedding and it was so after her divorce annoucement.
(Joachim on the other side looked like he just came out of hell.)

Couldn't agree more. Joachim seemed very much in love in teh beginning, and judging by the fact that Alexandra pretty much <always> manages to produce a smile to the cameras no matter the turmoil in her own personal life, I agree it's hard if not impossible to deduce from pictures right around her wedding whether she was in love or merely acting professionally. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt as I'm trying to do with all these commoner-born princesses: it's impossible to really know the truth.