The Duke and Duchess of Sussex to Step Back as Senior Royals: January 2020

[Denville]

Kate spoke about something in her past, to help new mothers realise that it is not unsual to feel isolated when at home with a new baby..

 

[_Heather_]

I think you're missing some important context here, tbh, because these two situations don't have much in common, if they do at all.

Anglesey is a bit... remote. As in far from everything, including their families. Catherine said she was alone, William was working during the night, their house was out of the way too. And all she said was that she would love to have a community of mothers to meet and talk to - she never, not even once, suggested she didn't have enough support, just that it's sometimes lonely when you sit alone with your newborn at home. Not to mention, she did so while visiting a place where new moms can meet and spend time with, so it was a bit, how can I say it, on the subject of the whole visit. What she said might have been shared and understood between the mothers she was meeting with, because it's a very universal experience for a parent.

Meghan though - a bit different story? She, with tears in her eyes, told a journalist, a member of the very press that poisoned her life apparently, her sad story, how no one asked if she was okay as a new mom/wife/royal. And she did so in Africa, basically making sure the whole coverage of the tour instead of focusing on the charities they visited, of the real, horrific problems of the people who live there, was about her and her sad story. I doubt a mother who doesn't know if she will have food for her newborn tomorrow or a father who doesn't know if his teenage daughter will come back home from school safe would understood Meghan's struggles. (EDIT: Which, I want to say, doesn't make Meghan's struggles somehow not valid - just a case of wrong place, wrong time.)

You know what, I actually never thought of it like this, but now I feel like we do need to praise Catherine for what she said.

Exactly this. There's a massive difference in the two situations. Catherine came across as focused and on point for the engagement she was attending and still managed to come across as very real, very human, very normal. She was able to connect with those she was there to connect with because she was down to earth and appeared to be "just like one of them." Meghan, on the other hand, came across as spoiled, entitled, and whiny. She was in Africa to highlight the plight of those far less fortunate and instead managed to turn it into her personal sob story and came across as very out of touch and "all about me." There's really nothing to compare here about these two statements. One appeared to be a bid to connect with other mothers, one appeared to be a cry for attention and sympathy.

 

[poppy7]

Rose tweeted again within 24 hours I think ...and called the DM a not very nice name so not too sure that you can take one tweet and use it to base that they don't like or support Meghan.


LaRae

Really? She isn't using her Twitter. Was it on Instagram? But surely any family friend would see what the DM.et so put all.ofnthem true is beyond belief? In any case Rose's husband is closet to William.

 

[_Heather_]

Really? She isn't using her Twitter. Was it on Instagram? But surely any family friend would see what the DM.et so put all.ofnthem true is beyond belief? In any case Rose's husband is closet to William.

She did put up a second post on IG that called the DM all sorts of names. However, it did have a tone that seemed very much like she was embarrassed and irritated that her first post was made so public by them. It didn't really appear to be a "yeah, maybe that wasn't my smartest decision ever" post but a "how dare you call attention to my public post" type thing. More of a "not sorry she did it but very sorry she did got caught" kind of thing. And I did see the first post, she can spin it however she wants but but the wording of it was quite clearly a spin on Harry and Meghan's announcement. Anyone who thinks it wasn't is delusional. Now, did she really mean anything by it other than using something that was big news at the time to post a "funny little something?" I don't know and neither does anyone else. But her attack on the DM definitely came across as a "how dare you publicize my public post" kind of thing. I definitely get the impression that there's not really much love lost there and it did all appear to rather be a bit of an eye-rolling type post directed at Harry and Meghan and the drama.

 

[poppy7]

She did put up a second post on IG that called the DM all sorts of names. However, it did have a tone that seemed very much like she was embarrassed and irritated that her first post was made so public by them. It didn't really appear to be a "yeah, maybe that wasn't my smartest decision ever" post but a "how dare you call attention to my public post" type thing. More of a "not sorry she did it but very sorry she did got caught" kind of thing. And I did see the first post, she can spin it however she wants but but the wording of it was quite clearly a spin on Harry and Meghan's announcement. Anyone who thinks it wasn't is delusional. Now, did she really mean anything by it other than using something that was big news at the time to post a "funny little something?" I don't know and neither does anyone else. But her attack on the DM definitely came across as a "how dare you publicize my public post" kind of thing. I definitely get the impression that there's not really much love lost there and it did all appear to rather be a bit of an eye-rolling type post directed at Harry and Meghan and the drama.

I think really Harry and Meghan may have found themselves extremely isolated in many ways. Something just wasn't right. On paper yoga loving Rose Astor is right up Meghan's street but it seems the two of them either isolated or were isolated by a lot of the circle that have surrounded Harry. Not just family. I just don't know what on earth went down. At all. But they have an us against the world mentality and that will be extremely isolating as time goes on. Because honestly everyone will move on and I fear the only ones who really won't will be them because they will always be the used to be royals.

 

[HereditaryPrincess]

I think really Harry and Meghan may have found themselves extremely isolated in many ways. Something just wasn't right. On paper yoga loving Rose Astor is right up Meghan's street but it seems the two of them either isolated or were isolated by a lot of the circle that have surrounded Harry. Not just family. I just don't know what on earth went down. At all. But they have an us against the world mentality and that will be extremely isolating as time goes on. Because honestly everyone will move on and I fear the only ones who really won't will be them because they will always be the used to be royals.

I agree and this is where I have a divided opinion on this whole debacle because whilst I sympathise with Harry and Meghan's move, they do seem to be isolated a lot from the family. I don't want to put the blame on Meghan since we don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but before - even during the early months of their marriage - Harry seemed to be very close to the family and was viewed as the "fun uncle" to George and Charlotte (since Louis wasn't born at the time), and had also been spotted playing with the Phillips children IIRC. He often seems down and aloof nowadays and a little bit lost - I can imagine the stress of the media circling around their marriage has a lot to play in that.

 

[_Heather_]

I think really Harry and Meghan may have found themselves extremely isolated in many ways. Something just wasn't right. On paper yoga loving Rose Astor is right up Meghan's street but it seems the two of them either isolated or were isolated by a lot of the circle that have surrounded Harry. Not just family. I just don't know what on earth went down. At all. But they have an us against the world mentality and that will be extremely isolating as time goes on. Because honestly everyone will move on and I fear the only ones who really won't will be them because they will always be the used to be royals.

I really agree with this 100%. And everyone can scream all they like about tabloid stories with anonymous sources and it's true that they're very often wrong but sometimes, just sometimes, they're right. Or they're mostly right a few incorrect details. Back to that old smoke and fire thing. But, the isolation stories and the whole Rose Astor thing and the fact that some of his oldest friends were invited to the wedding but not to the much more intimate evening party all adds up to being easy to believe those stories about Meghan deciding his old friends were "bad influences" and Harry dropping them after some of them dared to suggest he slow down a bit, etc. You're absolutely right about the whole "us against the world" mentality becoming dangerously isolating. I do wonder if, in time, Harry might wish he hadn't been so quick to cut off his old (and by all accounts very discreet and loyal) friends or allow them to be cut off.

 

[Fem]

Exactly this. There's a massive difference in the two situations. Catherine came across as focused and on point for the engagement she was attending and still managed to come across as very real, very human, very normal. She was able to connect with those she was there to connect with because she was down to earth and appeared to be "just like one of them." Meghan, on the other hand, came across as spoiled, entitled, and whiny. She was in Africa to highlight the plight of those far less fortunate and instead managed to turn it into her personal sob story and came across as very out of touch and "all about me." There's really nothing to compare here about these two statements. One appeared to be a bid to connect with other mothers, one appeared to be a cry for attention and sympathy.

And then people will describe this as a "double standard" and use as an example of how much worse Meghan is treated... I honestly don't get people sometimes.
I think that interview was a low blow - not only do I belive things like that should be dealt with behind closed doors and not in media, but also it turned what would be a great, successful and very informative tour into an "all about Meghan" situation. I don't know why she did it, or why she felt it was a right choice, but it was very tone-deaf after seeing the situation in Africa, after hearing stories of these people and their hardships.

 

[_Heather_]

And then people will describe this as a "double standard" and use as an example of how much worse Meghan is treated... I honestly don't get people sometimes.
I think that interview was a low blow - not only do I belive things like that should be dealt with behind closed doors and not in media, but also it turned what would be a great, successful and very informative tour into an "all about Meghan" situation. I don't know why she did it, or why she felt it was a right choice, but it was very tone-deaf after seeing the situation in Africa, after hearing stories of these people and their hardships.

I completely agree. But then again, tone-deafness seems to be a recurring theme with these two. They very much seem either incapable or unwilling or maybe an awful combination of the two, to read the situational appropriateness of much of what they say and do. And their complete lack of self-awareness about how they come across to others when they fail or decline to read the mood really boggles the mind.

 

[ACO]

I didn't hear Kate say it, but there's a difference between saying she was in Wales and feeling isolated - because she was physically away from everyone - and Meghan, giving an interview in Africa (where people struggle just to barely survive) complaining that she wasn't given enough support.

None of us are wrong and none of us are right- we just interpret things differently.

And Greta? Sorry. I don't see much difference but agree we all interpret things differently.

 

[QueenMathilde]

Joining the RF must be difficult, do you leave your old friends behind, and blend in with royal circle.
Does the royal friendship circle accept you, especially if you are a total newbie.

Can you trust your old friends not to give up tales, however innocent about you.

Is that why we do not really know who are the close friends of the royal family, in particular the older members. We seem them at Ascot etc with people, but are they true friends, acquaintances, or a request by the government to entertain.
I have been critical of Meghan in the past but I do not under estimate what she faced, IMO she did under estimate.

That's what I said about the whole "quitting the monarchy" thing. The media isn't going to go away. They will probably end up with more of it without royal protection.

 

[Betsypaige]

I completely agree. But then again, tone-deafness seems to be a recurring theme with these two. They very much seem either incapable or unwilling or maybe an awful combination of the two, to read the situational appropriateness of much of what they say and do. And their complete lack of self-awareness about how they come across to others when they fail or decline to read the mood really boggles the mind.

They already have used it as a double standard - there was actually no need to bring Kate into this, so for all the criticism of the tabloids for fostering a Kate vs. Meghan feud....well, you can figure it out

Oftentimes the message you're trying to convey gets lost in HOW you convey it - that's what happened in part with Meghan. Instead of people sympathizing for her because she doesn't feel supported, they feel disgusted that she's complaining while millions of people in Africa don't even have basic needs to survive. Even had she said that in a neutral environment, her comment about how no one asked her if she was ok before (Bradby did) was a passive aggressive shot at the BRF. This comment in an unfortunate interview is going to be remembered for a long time as people will believe that it epitomizes her overall character.

 

[Pranter]

Really? She isn't using her Twitter. Was it on Instagram? But surely any family friend would see what the DM.et so put all.ofnthem true is beyond belief? In any case Rose's husband is closet to William.

I'm pretty sure it was Twitter and I'm not repeating the word(s)! lol

I just know she posted about the DM and IIRC the link was posted here when it happened.



LaRae

 

[Eskimo]

There is an article in The Sun with someone named Norman Baker calling for taxpayers to look into Charles Duchy funds:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10786...y-meghan-duchy-of-cornwall-money-norman-baker

 

[BaiSoSo]

Actually, of all royal brides, I think Queen Letizia is probably the one who had to endure the worst in my opinion. From the moment she was engaged to then Prince Felipe, she was called an abortionist, an atheist, a republican, the woman who would bring down the monarchy, "Letizia la ficticia"and so on, so forth. Her family was insulted because her grandfather was a taxi driver or whatever. And the insults and the abuse have continued up to today even though she is now queen consort (it suffices to read certain Spanish blogs and YouTube channels; it is vicious !). Her fashion style is constantly criticized in Spain (even though it is on the contrary generally praised in the US and the UK) and she has also been accused of being a control freak, of keeping her daughters from her in-laws, forcing her husband to distance himself from his sisters, ignoring protocol and etiquette, and she has even been booed in public.



In fact, even poor gentle Queen Mathilde , who is normally immune from tabloid gossip, had to deal with rumors that she had conceived her (four !) children by artificial insemination ! And CP Victoria had to wait 10 years I guess until she was allowed to marry Daniel.



So, yes, many royals get their fair share of roughness and feeling like they are somebody else's "possession". To be fair, however, Letizia or Victoria for example did not have a choice really because one was married to the heir to the throne and the other is the heir herself. It is not so easy for them to walk out then as Harry and Meghan can do.

It's unfortunate that these women had to deal with this type of behavior and no one blinked or said it's wrong or unethical. The women apparently thought that going through that would be worth it in the end. Meghan and Harry did not so they are stepping back as a family. They are also showing a lot of people who are stuck in similar situations how they can fight back against it.

 

[Erin9]

She did put up a second post on IG that called the DM all sorts of names. However, it did have a tone that seemed very much like she was embarrassed and irritated that her first post was made so public by them. It didn't really appear to be a "yeah, maybe that wasn't my smartest decision ever" post but a "how dare you call attention to my public post" type thing. More of a "not sorry she did it but very sorry she did got caught" kind of thing. And I did see the first post, she can spin it however she wants but but the wording of it was quite clearly a spin on Harry and Meghan's announcement. Anyone who thinks it wasn't is delusional. Now, did she really mean anything by it other than using something that was big news at the time to post a "funny little something?" I don't know and neither does anyone else. But her attack on the DM definitely came across as a "how dare you publicize my public post" kind of thing. I definitely get the impression that there's not really much love lost there and it did all appear to rather be a bit of an eye-rolling type post directed at Harry and Meghan and the drama.

That was my take on her tone too. I think she didn’t like that what she posted was made so public. Understandably. What exactly she meant by the post is debatable, but it was certainly about Harry and Meghan, and it didn’t seem complimentary to me.

My only other take away from her rant was that it was incredibly poorly written.

 

[Jacknch]

After more than 4500 posts, the Moderating Team have decided to close this thread. We are now way past the initial announcement made by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and many of the discussions taking place now have become repetitive or beyond the initial purpose of the thread.

We wish to thank all those who have contributed to a robust, emotional and fast-moving discussion and we are grateful that the thread has not needed to be closed until now.

Members are requested NOT to continue the discussions that have taken place here in any other thread as such posts will be deleted without notice.

A new thread discussing the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's transition and future will be created in the next couple of days. However, there will be a tighter framework in that new thread, where members will be encouraged to focus on facts instead of innuendo. Thank you.

 

[carlota]

Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Current Events 1: May 2018 -

According to the times, royals have offered H&M to come back to the Uk without assuming royal duties to escape the press interest in North America.


https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/...turn-of-vulnerable-harry-and-meghan-cd3j3dr7r


“Senior royals are drawing up contingency plans to provide the Duke and Duchess of Sussex with a haven in the UK, amid fears that the intrusion of photographers in North America could force them to move back across the Atlantic.

Sources close to the royal household say Prince Charles and Prince William have been “reaching out” to Harry and Meghan to say that if they wanted to return to the UK full-time they could do so without having to resume their official royal duties.

Courtiers fear the pressure of media scrutiny on Vancouver Island, where the Sussexes are staying, will take a heavy toll on the couple.”

 

[tommy100]

Of course they will welcome them back, I have the feeling the BRF see the Canada move as a bit of a teenage tantrum which its easier to go along with to a certain degree to avoid a full family rift.

I suspect the RF and aides knew moving to Canada wouldn't get rid of the press and the attention but sometimes you have to let them go and find out for themselves while leaving the door open for their (eventual?) return.