BeatrixFan, you have such a way with words! I love your posts--
yes, why indeed do any of us really care? That is a good question, and based on the responses to this topic alone--it is obvious that a great many of us do care. I'll go first:
I wouldn't say I care--not like I care about my son getting the right second grade teacher, or if I get an A in my courses for my graduate degree--but I do care. Does anything in my world hinge on Camilla's attendance at the memorial? Not at all. But, having been a true devotee of the British Royal Family for most of my years, and taking tea with my grandparents and hearing "God Save the Queen" all of my life, I do feel a certain kinship with that far-off island. I have always believed in doing the right thing, and always being gracious and behaving like a lady. As a child, I was enamoured with Prince Charles and Princess Diana--I was up early to watch that wedding when I was 7 years old. What a memory! It always makes me smile--to see England turned out like it was for such a day, to see a real fairytale. It was exciting--even now, seeing photos of it reminds me of the emotions of that day.
And then, the fairly tale, like most of them tend to do, fell apart. Allegations of "he said, she said, they said....." filled the newspapers, radios, televisions, and bookstores. To me, the illusion was shattered--the royal family was on its way to becoming headline after headline on the National Enquirer.
But, part of me always wondered about the girl Charles had loved for all those years, the one that was a better match for him--Camilla. Even though the demise of the fairytale was tragic and tainted in many ways, I am pleased to see one love story end well. The controversy surrounding Camilla was harsh and yes, maybe even deserved on some level--but she always stood by her man and was as discreet as she could be. I watched their wedding, and while it may not have had the pomp and circumstance of Charles' wedding to Diana, I have to say as an adult I appreciated the road they had travelled to get to this point and I was very touched seeing the longtime loves being able to legally create a new life for themselves. It is long overdue, and they have really brought an unexpected sparkle to England again. And, in many ways, I think they have gone a long way to bringing back dignity to how Royals are expected to behave and support each other.
The explanation for my interest having been said (and it was long, I apologize), I will once again say that Camilla's step-children have made a point of inviting her to their late mother's memorial; this is a clear statement that Camilla has been accepted into the family and is loved for who she is. If William and Harry want her to be a presence there, then that is the way it is. Camilla has always shown herself to be the "stand by your man type" no matter what, and the boys clearly see the love that she feels for their father, and by extension for them as well. This is a memorial service, and Camilla is capable of honoring Diana as a mother to her step-children, and of honoring Diana for her charity work.
I have to say that this is by far the most interesting discussion on The Royal Forums, but it is getting a bit fanatical, in my opinion. Maybe that is what makes it interesting?