I suspect the comments about her working were made when they were still only dating, it felt very much that she gave up her job early on to their relationship becoming public. She could have worked through the engagement period.
I also wonder if maybe the late Queen and Charles didn't think maybe she could do something more full time - a NGO or not for profit linked with acting etc that she could work for a few days a week and still have the flexibility to go to some royal duties when needed, foreign tours etc but something a bit short of full time royal but her other job (crucially) would not be commercial.
Ithey got an office, under the Queen and BP purview which may well have had some funding from both the Sovereign grant, Duchy of Lancaster and Duchy fo Cornwall funds. In other words - Charles seems to have been right in what he said - that he couldn't pay for a full household, but a solution was found that allowed Harry and Meghan to still do duties for the RF so wasn't really a big deal.
Sounds to me like once again Harry and Meghan taking a comment made by the family and trying to turn it into a huge snub and example of how badly they were treated when in fact the family and Household found a workable solution to accommodate them. Sounds to me like they wanted a bigger office and household than anyone else, more like William's than Anne, Edward etc and Charles said no, whilst still funding a decent sized operation for them.
Their own website during their great "Sussexit" sulk laid it out pretty clearly
How has the Office of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex been funded up to now?
Since the establishment of The Office of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, 95 percent of the funding received for their Office expenditure is derived from income allocated by HRH The Prince of Wales, generated through the Duchy of Cornwall. This provision has been in place since Prince William and Prince Harry first established their offices in support of The Queen, and is the responsibility of The Prince of Wales. This information continues to be available on The Duchy of Cornwall website.
Where does the other five percent come from?
As described above, the remaining five percent of funding for the Office of The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, covering costs associated with employing members of their official office, is received through the Sovereign Grant...
it seems to me that Charles supplied much the same funding for his 2 sons, and he was able to do so? Unless he did get some help from the queen/DOL funds to provide clothes, support and so on for Meghan. But Harry did imply in his book that WIlliam got the 2 sausages ad he only got one.. that Will's room was bigger than his and so on