Frederik and Mary's Introduction and Courtship

[ashelen]

tusind tak Muhler! IT IS SO ROMANTIC! sometimes i think all thei men full of money and power just want a pretty girl for the moment and some fun and next day they dont remeber the pretty girl but it is amazing to listen him to talk like any other communer man in love! just a pleasure, he must be an amazing person, wish I could meet him!

[missjane]

This is a true love story, nothing made up or phoney here.

[Duchess of Durham]

Thank you, Muhler, for translating and sharing Mary and Fredrick's love story. I love reading their story. Married couples should be in love, even royal couples. Mary and Fredrick are most certainly in love.

[T4phage]

Has Mary ever said anything like this about Frederik? It just seems like whenever we read things like this, it's always Frederik saying romantic things about Mary.

But I've no doubt that the two of them are very much in love even after all this time.

[csw]

Sigh - such a beautiful story! Thank you Muhler. Can you elaborate for me on the distinction between the formal and informal words for wife and how they are used?

Thank you friend.

[Susanna Wynne]

How wondrously kind of you to provide these translations, Muhler! I am still quite new to TRF and simply stumbled across this thread.

It is a lovely story. May they have many happy years ahead of them! And I wish them well, because their life will be challenging...

[stellam]

Thanks so much Muhler. Do you know whether this book was ever made available in English? Can't seem to remember.

[Muhler]

Originally Posted by csw

Sigh - such a beautiful story! Thank you Muhler. Can you elaborate for me on the distinction between the formal and informal words for wife and how they are used?

Thank you friend.

You are most welcome, all of you

The informal word for wife = kone, is also the most commonly used. Especially on an everyday basis. It would be considered somewhat posh of me if I were to refer to my wife, using the formal word. Or people might think I'm joking.
The formal word = hustru, is used at more solemn occasions or in official letters directed to me/us, or when referring to my wife, at say a public office or elsewhere where formal address is expected.
Recieving an official letter which is using the informal word for wife, would be considered impolite and/or a bit too familiar.

There are no longer formal or informal words for husband. A husband is simply a mand.

There is a formal, gender neutral word for a married spouse = ægtefælle, which is also very commonly used in official letters.

So to sum up: In official letters, you always use the formal word for wife, regardless of whether you use formal or informal you in the letter. Period!

On an everyday basis and in private letters, you usually use the the informal word for wife, when you are talking to someone. Except if you are an employee at a public office, a lawyer, priest, mortician or something similar.

Complicated?

Originally Posted by T4phage

Has Mary ever said anything like this about Frederik? It just seems like whenever we read things like this, it's always Frederik saying romantic things about Mary.

But I've no doubt that the two of them are very much in love even after all this time.

True, Mary rarely speak about her feelings for Frederik, even though there is no doubt about them, when you see them together. She's a very private person. In that respect, she is very Danish. Love, is big, BIG word for most Danes! Not least outside the largest cities. I'm related to a couple and I doubt if the husband has told his wife that he loves her more than ten times throughout there entire marriage. Mrs. Muhler doesn't talk that much about love either. She shows it. But she doesn't talk about it, except among friends, family and to me. Nor do I.

And StellaD, as far as I know the book is not available in English.
That's a pity. You will of course have to read it with a filter on, as the book portrays Frederik in a positive light. Having said that, it's still the best source, when it comes to details and it also, because it's based on interviews, provide a good guide to how the main characters around Frederik and Frederik himself thinks, percieve things and his visions.

[Katelle]

Thank you so much Muhler, your translations are terrific. It's so secret that Fred and Mary have always been very much in love with each other, but their story is more captivating when put with beautiful words. Thanks for your hard work, I couldn't help smiling and sighing when I read your posts.

[MissP]

Thanks Muhler! Your translations are beautiful. It's such a sweet story.

[Muhler]

Continued.

In the summer of 2003 Frederik writes a long letter to Mary’s father, John Donaldson, who at that time shifted between living Tasmania and in South Korea, where he as a professor in mathematics is attached a university in Seoul. In contrast to practically all other men of his generation, Frederik put a lot of emphasis in following the old tradition and ask for permission to marry the youngest daughter of the Donaldson family.
“John was very moved and happy that I in writing requested for the hand of his daughter. For me that was just for my right leg (*), that you do such thing. I wrote a nice letter to him and determined that she was the girl in my life that I was in love in her and wanted to ask for her hand. And I did emphasize as well that he couldn’t say no. That no matter what he said, I would propose to her.
My father-in-law answered by letter and he was fortunately happy and thrilled, delighted that I would enter his family. He looked forward to see the two of us together. He also emphasized in the letter that Mary’s mother would have been glad to know, that Mary had found me. It was really neat to mention that as well”.
The Crown Prince reveals his romantic gene in a carefully planned proposal to his chosen one. Since he is only to propose once in his life, he might just as well do it with style. Mary and Frederik have often talked about how they would like to experience the Italian capital, Rome, together and they have several times spoken, that it really is a shame that they haven’t experienced the historical and cultural attractions, which Rome has to offer. As such Frederik suggests to Mary that go on a mini-vacation to Rome in September.
“The late summer was nice and warm and it was unreal to walk around the streets of Rome. We sucked it all in and were at Peter’s Square (**) and in the Cathedral of Saint Peter. I had decided that I would propose to Mary in Rome and (I) had also organized an engagement ring, and made sure that I could be completely alone with her. It was just a complete success. Not because I wanted to go down on my knee, but I did, that’s the right way to do it. And then I just said: You cannot say no, you must not say no, you simply have to say yes. And then she said yes, and it was lovely and blissful. We were happy and just the two of us”, smiles Frederik and adds that the proposal took place in English.
Later that same day the Crown Prince phone home from Rome to the Chief of Court, Per Thornit. The Chief of Court is told that he can put the whole thing on alert now and issue a statement to the press about a royal engagement.
“Despite us not having returned home, a press release was issued about the engagement and that the engagement would take place in October. It was good (***) that we didn’t go straight back home to a curious press. We stayed in Italy for four or five days more and went to a great hotel at the Adriatic some hours by car from Rome. It was nice to enjoy the engagement that way”.

In the Yellow Mansion (****) in Amalie Street, a stones throw from Amalienborg, Court Marshall Ove Ullerup and Per Thornit get busy. On Wednesday the 24th September they issue a brief statement to the press: “Hofmarskallatet (*****) informs that Her Majesty the Queen in the State Council scheduled to take place Wednesday the 8th October 2003 at 10.00 o clock in the residence at Amalienborg, intends to approve that His Royal Highness the Crown Prince enter a state of matrimony with consultant, Miss Mary Elizabeth Donaldson”. (******)

At the second the pres release is issued to Danish medias, radio and television is interrupted with the message of the royal engagement. The bridal couple to be is like vanish from the face of the Earth and no one suspects they are enjoying each other at the Adriatic and thus don’t face the media-commotion at home. Because commotion it is. Papers and TV-stations call forth historians and royal experts to assess the significance of the marriage of the Crown Prince for the future of the monarchy. Oh yes, the engagement-ecstasy afflicts everyone. Finally, our Crown Prince has sailed into harbor, cheer the Danes and in the editorial Berlinske Tidende (*******) praise the future Crown Princess as insurance for the Danish people’s monarchy.

Big words about Mary, who has never yet said a word in Danish in full public glare.

- If you think you can handle more romance, I’ll have a look later at what M&F said about each other in the book.

(*) A soccer expression. = Something that is obvious/the right thing/the perfect thing/you want to do/just ready for you to do.

(**) The large square at the Vatican, not sure if this is also the name in English.

(***) Frederik is here using the word: “Dejligt”, rather than “godt”. Both words can be translated to good, but in this context the meaning is different. Here it means it was good, in a positive sense, that, the news broke when they were still in Rome. Had he used the word “godt”, it would in this context be like rolling the eyes way back in the head.

(****) The location of the DRF central administration.

(*****) The actual name of the central administration. Which is headed by the Court Marshall.

(******) Notice that all such official statements are written as one sentence. Also known as Kancellistil = Chancellery Style.

(*******) Berlinske Tidende is a major conservative newspaper, and very serious.

[Susanna Wynne]

Like a wilted plant in the midst of a desert: yes, Muhler, we can handle more. Your translations are a pleasure...

Thank you so kindly!

[Muhler]

Various quotes from the chapter: Kærlighed – Love.

Jeppe Handwerk:
“To Frederik it’s love for the rest of the life. He considers it utterly impossible to be divorced. It doesn’t exist in his worldview! It’s a choice he has made and it’s the right choice for the rest of the life. He doesn’t view divorce as an option, as for everybody else. That’s why he also invests time, energy and love in their marriage.
Mary can something Frederik cannot and visa versa and the supplement each other well. Mary is structured and he creative. They can different things. Frederik could from the start tell that she had something to offer, which he needed by his side – because it’s hard work in their little business and he was in no doubt that it was her”.

Frederik: “We probably thought we were more alike. But the difference is fantastic, in the sense that we gain a lot from that. We discuss and we talk when we are in disagreement. Where are we alike? We are alike, because we love each other, and because we are both so fixed on the home ground/our base. We are both attentive of our inner self and our little nucleus, which is now growing, because we have had children. And life as such. We have some goals and we set some partial-goals together. We are fundamentally in agreement about what we want and the way our ship must sail. We are also alike, because we respect each other”. (*)
His view on their marriage:
“It’s great, it’s lovely. It keeps developing. We multiply. There are new roads all the time. It’s lovely, that’s it”.

Mary about their marriage:
“If I should use one word about my marriage, it’s happiness. It’s very happy. And lovely. We have a very open and honest marriage, where we provide a sparring partner and room. We have common interests, but we also have individual interests. And it’s very important to have your own interests. So there is a time, when you depart and learn something new and return with new exciting experiences. I think it’s important to give each other room, and we do”, says Mary and after a little thoughtful moment she comes up with a big smile and adds: “We are just happy and in love and love what we have together – the children and life. The love I feel for Frederik is always in my heart, in my soul and my body. Now that I also see him with the children, love has gained new dimensions. Of course there are challenges and obstacles on the way, but we’ll figure that out. We are good together”.

Mary goes on about Frederik: “Frederik is incredibly loving and caring and incredibly loyal. These are very important traits. And I also love his energy. He is always full of energy and then I love his attitude towards life. He is a very positive person, and he really understands what is important to have as priorities in life. He has a really good humor. That means that he is nice to be with and laugh with. Frederik curiosity is also big. He always wants to figure our why things work the way they do. And that can tease/cause him problems from time to time. (**) There is curiosity about everything, and that’s great.
Frederik is a very intelligent person. He has experienced much and is willing to share that experience of life that he has. Frederik is very multi-facetted. He is both delicate/sensible and strong. In the sense that everything he cares for – family and friends – he is very delicate/sensible about. Like we all can be. And in the other hand, he can be really strong and really fight for what he believes in and for those he cares for. We have all seen Frederik being delicate/sensible and I consider that as being something very positive, that he is willing to show that he is an emotional person”.

At home at the Crown Princely couple the ceiling is high in more than one way. And room in the heart for teasing.
“Mary certainly contradicts me, if she believes I’m wrong. I can of course become irritated over that and ask why she can’t see it from my point of view. But Mary is very calm. That’s one of the many good bonds there are between us. Mary never lets my words just hang in the air – they are always grasped thrown right back in my face. That’s how it should be”, believe Frederik.
The Crown Princess admits laughingly that she rarely let Frederik’s words hang in the air.
“It’s within me to ask questions about everything. And I try to see the situation from all angles and how you can defend and present it. (***) I try to play against my husband and try to get into why he wants to do it, (****) what significance it has and asks whether he has really thought it through. It can perhaps be a bit irritating sometimes, that I ask so many questions, but Frederik is doing the same ting to me”. (*****)

After having met Mary in Sydney and on the way to Cape York, Frederik thought he could hide his feelings for his friend; Jeppe Handwerk:
“Hush, hush. And he tried to slip away without me noticing it. I quickly figured out it was serious and that he had some emotions for her, which was different. He had butterflies in his belly and they talked a lot on the phone during the drive. Mary was a quite ordinary girl and Frederik was quite a bit turned on by that. He was clearly in love in her all during the drive to Cape York and (he) was very interest in getting to say goodbye to Mary, before he head over heels had to go home. And when he came home to Denmark, he sometimes fell asleep by the phone when he talked to her”, laughs Jeppe handwerk.

- And this concludes the pre-engagement part of this chapter.
Frederik, Kronprins af Danmark – Frederik, crown Prince of Denmark was written by Gitte Redder & Karin Palshøj.
The book was published by Høst & Søn = Hoest & Son. Isbn #978-87-638-0307-6 in case you wish to plaque the publishers for an English edition.


(*) Yep, once heard the best possible advise to a good marriage I’ve had: Treat your wife with same respect, tolerance, attention and loyalty as you would treat your very best friend.

(**) As in not being able to put the washing machine back together, because you just had to figure out the problem….

(***) You assess the issue for a few minutes and figure out at way to deal with it. That’s the way to do it!
Your wife on the other hand needs to discuss every single aspect of the issue for six or seven hours! After which she reach the exact opposite conclusion of yours. – And that’s the way it will be done!
Frederik will learn eventually…

(****) As in analyzing every single possible motive you have in not being in complete agreement with her. – Also a couple of years after you debated the issue! At way too late in the evening!
Which is why you always end up agreeing with your wife….
Frederik will eventually learn….

(*****) Mistake, Frederik! You just nod and grunt a bit and look thoughtful, and she’s happy.

[Little_Sunshine]

Thank you so much Muhler! The translations are beautiful.

[Duchess of Durham]

Thank you again, Muhler. I can't get enough of Mary and Fredrick.

[Ellainoz]

Amazing! What a romantic story. I really hope their love will last.

[Muhler]

You are most welcome.

I may have a look at the book again at some point.

[Susanna Wynne]

Dear Muhler:

These translations are a great deal of work!

I am just one of those who thank you now and others who will encounter this thread in the future!

Warmest thanks and good wishes!

[DeeBee]

Thank you Muhler! I have been reading your translations in lurkdom for awhile and so appreciate them! Also, your commentary is hilarious and true! You and my husband would get along well I think :).

[CrownPrincess5]

Awww so romantic

I think Mary had to know, at least in a little way, that they were aiming for marriage. Cause if marriage wasn't on the agenda why would she move away from her family, friends and her life??

Thanks Muhler!
Because of you I feel like I know the crown princely couple better.