"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Denville]

well he never said that he was an addict, did he? (did he not mention in the book that he said to one of his therapists that he was not a drug addict). He gave the impression to me, anyway, that he had used drugs and drink to ease the pain of losing Diana, and he had finally realised that he had to get help (Williams apparently persuaded him) and he had gone into therapy. He certainly gave me the impression that he wasn't addicted but was seeking solace in drink and drugs and that he had given up or cut down to a normal indulgence... but a lot of stuff that he has come out with, lately seems to indicate that he never really gave up on the booze and drugs and even during a relatively stable period he was still using. Truth is that he probaby did become addicted as he was a long term user of drugs and drink, and its affected him mentally even if he HAD given up, his brain's affected and that is parlty why he is so paranoid. And he probalby did reach a stage years ago that it would be very hard for him to give up completely without rehab and intense therapy......

 

[Leopoldine]

Anne did not want to be queen, she is not gracious or IMO very good at the being polite and friendly to the public.. she has probably improved a bit but it was never her thing. so it wasn't hard for her to know that she'd never be the monarch, whereas Harry wanted the validation of the public liking and admiring him, just as his mother did. He knew that he'd become a lot less of interest to the public as he got older, and his brother's children grew up.. and that really burned him. He has obviosly, from this book always had a real real angry feeling about Will being older than him, and being hte future King. Perhaps if Diana had lived, he would have adjusted to the idea of being the second son, as he grew older. but she was gone, he was torn up and began to lose touch with reality, if he really believed that she had faked her deaht for many years.

The book has nothing positive to say about the work ethic and decades-long superb monarchical support of so many of the working royals. The Kents, the Gloucesters, the Princess Royal .... Harry is in some little vanity bubble, consumed with public perception.

 

[Toledo]

well if Mike Tindall and Peter phillips did cut him publicly, at the Jubilee services its hardly surprising that Harry would leave them out of his book.

If we had to summarize the book Spare for one of those one or two sentence reviews my choice of words would be straight to the point:

"Spare is a book prepared by a ghost writer's template to let Harry express personal grievances on four specific members of his family, his brother and wife and his father and wife. The rest of the extended family, including Mommy Diana's and her beloved partner Dodi, is nonexistent within Harry's life."

 

[Iluvbertie]

=
It also shocked me that Harry didn’t realise that Meghan shared her birthday with QEQM; it was Charles that pointed it out to him. It was the first I’d heard of him calling his great grandmother Gan Gan, I thought that started with Prince George and QE II.

It started, at least, with Queen Victoria and her great-grandchildren.

One recorded occasion was the future Edward VIII saying 'pull-it gan-gan' when he wanted her to get up.

Queen Mary was also called gan-gan by Charles and Anne and The Queen Mum by her great-grandchildren. In a documentary for the late Queen's Diamond Jubilee I think or her 90th birthday William and Harry were talking about The Queen Mum and clearly called her gan-gan.

 

[Leopoldine]

The late Queen at one point said that at least one little grand or great grandchild called her "Gary." I always laugh when I think of this.

Is there any geographical sales data about the book in the US? I'll go digging, but I didn't know if any forum members knew this straightaway. I'm wondering if the sales are pumped with bulk purchases.

 

[JR76]

The late Queen at one point said that at least one little grand or great grandchild called her "Gary." I always laugh when I think of this.

Is there any geographical sales data about the book in the US? I'll go digging, but I didn't know if any forum members knew this straightaway. I'm wondering if the sales are pumped with bulk purchases.

It was Prince William who called his grandmother "Gary".

 

[Denville]

If we had to summarize the book Spare for one of those one or two sentence reviews my choice of words would be straight to the point:

"Spare is a book prepared by a ghost writer's template to let Harry express personal grievances on four specific members of his family, his brother and wife and his father and wife. The rest of the extended family, including Mommy Diana's and her beloved partner Dodi, is nonexistent within Harry's life."

well I wouldnt take that too seriously. Dodi was hardly Diana's beloved partner...

 

[silverstar]

Spare

Having read about a third of the book so far... Im impressed...
he has done a good job recalling his childhood and the huge events
he was caught up in.... I dare say I ve got a lot of reading to
do before Megan makes an appearance !


But has a Royal ever written so intimate a biography in the past ?
I doubt it....
I cant see the problem so far with his book, but then
Megan has yet to appear in the story line.


Considering his position in society and in perhaps the most famous
and celebrated Monarchy in the world... he seem strangely dismissive
of it all ... kind of unimpressed.


Which reminds me of Diana who born into the Spencer Family...of such eminence through the centuries... she seemed pretty disinterested in it all.... the Stately Home the 20,000 acres etc


Like Mother Like Son .....




.

 

[FigTree]

It started, at least, with Queen Victoria and her great-grandchildren.

One recorded occasion was the future Edward VIII saying 'pull-it gan-gan' when he wanted her to get up.

Queen Mary was also called gan-gan by Charles and Anne and The Queen Mum by her great-grandchildren. In a documentary for the late Queen's Diamond Jubilee I think or her 90th birthday William and Harry were talking about The Queen Mum and clearly called her gan-gan.

It was the Diamond Queen documentary and I do believe that it was either Bea or Eug called her Gan Gan.

The boys may have said it again during the 90th documentary.

 

[Toledo]

I'll look it up

 

[ladongas]

A word about cannabis

I think maybe some members are ascribing too much drama to cannabis-smoking. Perhaps they are of an older demographic group.

Marijuana has been commonly and pretty much openly smoked in the US since the 1960s, well over 50 years. Doctors, lawyers, rabbis, preachers, cops, homemakers, stockbrokers…for most smokers, it’s no different from drinking a cocktail or a beer.

Harry’s having smoked, or continuing to smoke, is pretty much meaningless legally or morally. It seems unfair to continue to harp on his choosing to smoke in appropriate places during appropriate times. Perhaps we could calm down on this particular topic.
IMO

 

[JR76]

I think maybe some members are ascribing too much drama to cannabis-smoking. Perhaps they are of an older demographic group.



Marijuana has been commonly and pretty much openly smoked in the US since the 1960s, well over 50 years. Doctors, lawyers, rabbis, preachers, cops, homemakers, stockbrokers…for most smokers, it’s no different from drinking a cocktail or a beer.



Harry’s having smoked, or continuing to smoke, is pretty much meaningless legally or morally. It seems unfair to continue to harp on his choosing to smoke in appropriate places during appropriate times. Perhaps we could calm down on this particular topic.

IMO

I don't know if being 46 makes me a part of the older demographic group (it probably does), but the fact that the American upper-class has used a drug for 50 years doesn't make daily use of it any less harmful. It is as equally harmful as a daily intake of alcohol.

 

[GraceOMalleysGhost]

I think maybe some members are ascribing too much drama to cannabis-smoking. Perhaps they are of an older demographic group.

Marijuana has been commonly and pretty much openly smoked in the US since the 1960s, well over 50 years. Doctors, lawyers, rabbis, preachers, cops, homemakers, stockbrokers…for most smokers, it’s no different from drinking a cocktail or a beer.

Harry’s having smoked, or continuing to smoke, is pretty much meaningless legally or morally. It seems unfair to continue to harp on his choosing to smoke in appropriate places during appropriate times. Perhaps we could calm down on this particular topic.
IMO

I have to agree with you that, relatively speaking, Harry's marijuana use is much less problematic than his alcohol consumption. There are many times when marijuana is used in a therapeutic context (anxiety, PTSD). You will never get a doctor to prescribe you alcohol but you can get a medical card for marijuana.

If we're going to talk about marijuana, I find it much more troubling that Meghan provided people with it at her first wedding in a country in which it was illegal. She basically trafficked a controlled substance if those accounts are correct, and made her guests accomplices. It also speaks to her enabling behavior IMHO. Not that Harry needs any persuading to use/abuse substances.

 

[Curryong]

According to this report it was as much if not more Trevor Engelson and his friends project. She’s described here as much more of a champagne girl. And there have never been reports from her Suits days or time in England of her smoking weed.

https://www.news.com.au/entertainme...a/news-story/0ba2b8c325ba871e72bb652669c93389

 

[GraceOMalleysGhost]

According to that article (thank you) they were her emails coordinating it, which goes back to my comment about her enabling behavior. I don't believe it's really "her thing", smoking causes wrinkles for starters. Bubbly and perhaps other things I won't speculate about were more her cup of tea.

 

[Curryong]

I don’t know about Meghan ‘enabling’ things. How do we know her husband, who actually bought the weed according to the article, didn’t have the original gift idea. All the younger guests weren’t apparently throwing their hands up in horror at it all anyway! She wasn’t the sole organiser.

And there were no stories while she was in GB of Meghan being into any sort of drug use. If there had been any rumours going around the tabloids would have gleefully been on to it in a flash.

 

[ladongas]

I don't know if being 46 makes me a part of the older demographic group (it probably does), but the fact that the American upper-class has used a drug for 50 years doesn't make daily use of it any less harmful. It is as equally harmful as a daily intake of alcohol.

Oh? I believe that there have been two recent Queens who were known to intake alcohol daily- and it didn’t seem harmful?

 

[Leopoldine]

The book has nothing positive to say about the work ethic and decades-long superb monarchical support of so many of the working royals. The Kents, the Gloucesters, the Princess Royal .... Harry is in some little vanity bubble, consumed with public perception.

I only mention this because Harry denigrated Royal family members in "Spare" by implying in his book that the Court Circular was not to his liking.

 

[yukari]

(...)

The Book could have been so much more balanced and interesting with NON hurtful stories that didn't invade his Family's privacy either.

I suspect that either Harry has decided *most* of his cousins NOW simply aren't important enough to " the man he has become "....airbrushed out, so to speak.
OR Zara and Peter warned him NOT to include them in any way. I remember from decades ago that Peter WAS close to both brothers. Maybe Peter drifted away.

I found omitting what I hope were happy "extended" family memories, sad. Does Harry have ANY fond Family memories outside of Diana centric ones ? When I was a Child and young Teen I spend lots of great times with my Cousins at my Grandparents house on Holidays. I absolutely treasure them.


Again, whatever therapy he got or is getting doesn't seem to be putting him on a path to contentment and "moving on". Sadly JUST the opposite.
The Book should have been named " Settling Scores", not Spare.

(...)

This reminds me of one quote from Phillip Lopate's book (To Show and to Tell: The Craft of Literary Nonfiction): “Never write to settle scores. Enter into the other person’s point of view, and be as fair-minded as possible.” which I think is the key when writing a memoir.

 

[Denville]

Oh? I believe that there have been two recent Queens who were known to intake alcohol daily- and it didn’t seem harmful?

a small intake of alcohol wont do any harm, but Harry was evidently drinking very heavily, using illegal drugs and it was affecting him to the point where he was paranoid and violent.

 

[Denville]

According to this report it was as much if not more Trevor Engelson and his friends project. She’s described here as much more of a champagne girl. And there have never been reports from her Suits days or time in England of her smoking weed.

https://www.news.com.au/entertainme...a/news-story/0ba2b8c325ba871e72bb652669c93389

Still odd to give out illegal substances as a party favour at one's wedding Even if it was Trevor's idea first, presumably Meghan could have stopped him if she wanted to.

 

[Denville]

I think maybe some members are ascribing too much drama to cannabis-smoking. Perhaps they are of an older demographic group.

Marijuana has been commonly and pretty much openly smoked in the US since the 1960s, well over 50 years. Doctors, lawyers, rabbis, preachers, cops, homemakers, stockbrokers…for most smokers, it’s no different from drinking a cocktail or a beer.

Harry’s having smoked, or continuing to smoke, is pretty much meaningless legally or morally. It seems unfair to continue to harp on his choosing to smoke in appropriate places during appropriate times. Perhaps we could calm down on this particular topic.
IMO

The marijuana that was round in the 60s was mild stuff, and while long term use might not be a good idea, it probably wasn't harmful to most people to smoke a joint a day... However the weed that's around nowadays, in Harry's day, is a lot stronger and more inclined to affect one detrimentally.. and given H's tendency to paranoia its probably one of the worst things he could be taking

 

[tihkon2]

Oh? I believe that there have been two recent Queens who were known to intake alcohol daily- and it didn’t seem harmful?

But prolonged and regular marijuana usage can lead to paranoia in some people, and it's certainly possible that Harold could be affected in that way.

 

[Denville]

But prolonged and regular marijuana usage can lead to paranoia in some people, and it's certainly possible that Harold could be affected in that way.

I think that's very likely, and I dont think that that is the only drug that Harry took regularly, I think for years he used pot and other drugs on a fairly regular basis -. the fact that he went diving into a fridge in an acquaintances house, found magic mushrooms and got off his face with them, suggests someone who had not, some few years ago, stopped a fairly steady probably heavy use of drugs.

 

[Mbruno]

I think that's very likely, and I dont think that that is the only drug that Harry took regularly, I think for years he used pot and other drugs on a fairly regular basis -. the fact that he went diving into a fridge in an acquaintances house, found magic mushrooms and got off his face with them, suggests someone who had not, some few years ago, stopped a fairly steady probably heavy use of drugs.

I am confused about some of the latest posts by multiple members. Did Harry admit to be using drugs now? Or is there any evidence that he is? I thought he had stopped after he met Meghan and, especially, after they got married.

 

[Lilyflo]

I am confused about some of the latest posts by multiple members. Did Harry admit to be using drugs now? Or is there any evidence that he is? I thought he had stopped after he met Meghan and, especially, after they got married.

He doesn't admit to using drugs currently (nor does he say he doesn't) but says he smoked joints at night after everyone was asleep while they were staying at Tyler's house in LA.

 

[Denville]

He doesn't admit to using drugs currently (nor does he say he doesn't) but says he smoked joints at night after everyone was asleep while they were staying at Tyler's house in LA.

He also seems to drink still, its not like he gave up drinking when he got into therapy although he clearly had something of a problem with it in his younger days and it led him into fights and violence, even attacking his bodyguard. And while Im not sure he was with Meghan when he dived into Cox's fridge, it wasnt all that long ago, perahps before he met Meghan and it sounds very like he was someone who still used drugs if he could get them and hanging out iwth a rich crowd, it wasnt hard to get them.

 

[Denville]

I am confused about some of the latest posts by multiple members. Did Harry admit to be using drugs now? Or is there any evidence that he is? I thought he had stopped after he met Meghan and, especially, after they got married.

I had thought that he had stopped when he met Meghan, and that he had been in therapy before that and I kind of assumed that that had helped him to stop drugging and drinking, but there seems to be evidence that this didnt really happen..
If his drug use was because of his unhappiness, which he certainly seemed to indicate, then one might expect that it stopped when he got into therapy and esp when he had a happy relationship and then marriage...

 

[Mbruno]

He doesn't admit to using drugs currently (nor does he say he doesn't) but says he smoked joints at night after everyone was asleep while they were staying at Tyler's house in LA.

I can't understand how he managed to stay 10 years (?) on active duty in the Army with his drug habits. Especially when the British Army claims to have a zero-tolerance drug policy and at least enlisted personnel are kicked out of the Army frequently for failing drug tests (I don't know about officers, but the standards should be the same).

 

[Denville]

I can't understand how he managed to stay 10 tears (?) on active duty in the Army with his drug habits. Especially when the British Army claims to have a zero-tolerance drug policy and at least enlisted personnel are kicked out of the Army frequently for failing drug tests (I don't know about officers, but the standards should be the same).

according to Harry, he at least once was able to get out of a mandatory drugs test by leaving his base, on urgent royal business. So if he could do it once, I guess he could do it again. He was only on combat duty for a few months overall during his 10 years of service, so I am guessign that the army ddi tolderate his drug use if he was not actaully flying. I dont think it is very admirable of them, but honestly Harry seems to have been using drugs even 2 years ago when he was presumably happy so what are the odds that he managed to keep on during hsis army service?