Engagement of Prince Harry of Wales and Meghan Markle: November 27, 2017

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I mentioned Meghan and Harry's ages because her prospects for having children are already winding down. They don't have the luxury of a long courtship, not even one that lasts less than 9yrs. And nobody is underestimating Meghan; none of us know her to underestimate her. It's just looking at the obvious challenges that the relationship is going to face. I don't know about anyone else but I for one am not rooting against them.

 

[Somebody]

I don't really understand why people think that Harry had to seal the deal so Meghan wouldn't run. They are well in their thirties and by now know what the want in life (which includes children, so waiting around for another few years would be the worst strategy) and what they look for in a partner. Both of them made it clear that they were serious about each other and made steps that showed commitment within the first year. Meghan for example closed The Tig 7-8 months before 'he put a ring on it'...

 

[Abbigail]

I think that Meghan is the type who thrives in new environments. People forget that she moved to Canada and quickly established connections and her own set of friends. Maybe its an American thing but I've lived in different countries as well as across the United States and it just seems like second nature to move around and then establish friendships and connections. I don't think it will be that big of a deal for her. Besides her best friend since college has a British husband, not to mention many of Harry's friends have American wives/girlfriends.

I agree. She doesn't seem to be the type to struggle at adapting to new environments. And lets look at the other women who had their own careers and freedoms before marrying a royal. They don't seem to have struggled much. And I know the BRF is on another scale but still, I don't think it should be hard for us to imagine that it might not be that difficult after all.

 

[Pranter]

She's not giving up a career ...she is simply changing hers, to a field that she has said she worked to make it possible to do (humanitarian work).

She's not Grace Kelly.



LaRae

 

[O-H Anglophile]

I
All that being said, I can understand the point of views of those who have concerns about this relationship because it was fast as compared to other long term courtships on recent times. We have the tragic example of Charles and Diana who had a fast courtship and we all know how all of that turned out. People care about Harry and don't want him to end up like his parents

There is no similarity between Harry & Meghan and Charles & Diana's courtships. Their ages for one thing, then they both have life experience, which Diana did not. They have a partnership which his parents did not. They have essentially been living together for the past year or more--at least as much as people do who travel for work. Not much to compare I think.

 

[MARG]

There are no guarantees in this life as William and Catherine, Meghan, Beatrice and Eugenie can attest.

 

[Countessmeout]

I disagree regarding their ages (Meghan's in particular). Meghan will be the same at 36/37 as at 39/40. It's not really that much of a deal-breaker 'at Meghan's age' in these times. It isn't (imo).


Well said! Agree!

Assuming she gets pregnant at the drop of pants. Unfortunately that's not always the case. And if they want more than one child, waiting until she was 40 to get married, would seriously limit a healthy chance at more than one.

Also people seem to miss the obvious. The age. Getting engaged after a year of dating when 22 is a lot different then 32. William and Kate were young, still in college, when they started. Then there was military training and so on. When you are in your 30's you are pretty settled into adult life. You know what you want in your life. You don't need 5+ years to know if the person you are dating is the person you can build a life with.

 

[Osipi]

Another important factor plays into Harry and Meghan's relationship. They weren't going "out". They weren't meeting at night to go to clubs, restaurants and weekend parties with friends (that we know about).

From the onset of this relationship, it was focus on primarily the two of them. Alone. Staying in and cooking meals and living together as much as they possibly could. They eliminated basically all of the "dating" socialization that usually happens. They focused on each other, got to really know each other and with all of that, they've decided they can make a life together.

They were able to maintain a long distance relationship. They both were responsible and lived up to their commitments. Most importantly, in this relationship, I don't think that either party was more important than the other in their eyes. They became a team. They took the necessary steps that needed to be taken to make a marriage a reality and they're still doing that.

This is a mature relationship and to me, not one based on the throes of the grand, passionate "falling in lust" attraction although that definitely was there. They've done everything right so far and I think that will serve them through the years to come.

 

[ACO]

^^

I agree. They are in their 30s. They both have been in serious relationships that lasted multiple years. They know what works for them and what does not. They basically started living together as soon as they met. I get it was long distance but that is nothing to ignore. They made it known they had the serious talks very early because they didn't want to waste the others time if this was not something they both weren't 100% into. At this stage in both their lives they were looking to settle down.

Meghan is not going into this blindly. I do think she will have her ups and down adjusting. That is to be expected. It is a major change but they both understand it. That is why they wasting no time getting her out there experiencing everything. I mean there was even a report she will be heavily involved in CHOGM this year. They are fully thrusting this life on Meghan from the jump.

Nothing in life is guaranteed but you can't live your life worried about failures.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

I think, that it's actually a testament to their commitment, maturity, and desire to work at it to make a long distance relationship work for a year and a half. And it wasn't just a long distance relationship the were dealing with. It was the intrusion of privacy, the horrible articles written about her/them in the tabloids, it was her estranged family deciding that they want to make their money from this relationship. It was the harassment of her parents by the tabloids. It was ex friends selling their 30 years of friendship to the tabloids.

And they dealt with it well. Meghan and Harry have dealt with it each step at a time. First the statement of Harry, showing that he will back Meghan up and protect her and their relationship with everything he can. Her slowing down her social media use and stopping reading anything written about her. They made their relationship a priority. Meghan isn't stupid. She could understand from 5-6 months into the relationship, that the media scrutiny would be intense, her privacy, as she knew it, was gone.

I've read many comments, that Meghan might get 'bored' of her restricted life in the future. But that can happen to anyone, it happens after being married 15-25 years. Long courtship won't stop boredom. Everyone in life gets bored. Meghan is an adult, not a toddler, and she will have tens of options to tackle boredom.

I don't think neither Harry or Meghan were desperate, but both knew they had met someone once in a million for them and are committed to make it work. I don't think ling courtship or dating period would've changed anything for either one, they're not teens in their first relationship, both have lived lives and have learned from their experiences a lot.

 

[Pranter]

AND they never went more than 2 weeks apart. That takes a lot of commitment itself when you consider their work schedules and locations.

They knew by 6 months this was headed to marriage. They took around another year after that to develop (or not) things. Then as already pointed out they spent time "inside" together not going out and around to social things. Which put their focus really on themselves.

The commitment Harry made to protect her and stand up for her was very key too IMO.


LaRae

 

[Somebody]

Luckily they did some socializing with close friends and family 'indoors' as well because in socializing you also get to know your partner better. Only spending time together isn't very realistic going forward...

 

[Zaira]

I think we also need to take Harry and Meghan at their own words in the engagement interview. Harry, was looking for someone who could take on the "role" as well as be a partner in love. By his own words, he found that in Meghan and said very beautifully that in his view, "she is capable of anything."

I don't think Harry was so desperate that he was rushing into marriage. I think he just "knew" when he met Meghan that she was the one, and worked damned hard to ensure this relationship would work.

By Meghan's own words, she knows this will not be an easy transition and she will face challenges, but as they both said, they are committed to each other and being in this together.

Their interview conveyed to me that this isn't a couple just in the first flush of love. This is a couple who did some serious work and put a lot of thought into their relationship. You can't ask for a firmer foundation than that. Life happens and even the strongest of relationships can fail. But from all that I see, these two are starting out into marriage in a great position to flourish.

 

[MaiaMia_53]

Interesting coverage and commentary surrounding the engagement announcement:

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I think there are legitimate concerns about Meghan and although I don't agree I sympathize with those who don't think her profession fits with the RF.

 

[CTchic]

I think there are legitimate concerns about Meghan and although I don't agree I sympathize with those who don't think her profession fits with the RF.

Do you think Cressida Bonas would have been a better fit? Last I checked, she is an actress too.

 

[royal rob]

Do you think Cressida Bonas would have been a better fit? Last I checked, she is an actress too.

I’m glad he didn’t marry her ..... I can’t say her name !!!
Joking but she does look very sweet hope her future is bright

 

[Osipi]

What it boils down to is that it doesn't matter who we deem fit or not. The only person Harry's bride has to fit is Harry himself.

I just really wish that people that would do Meghan any kind of harm out there would stop and think that when they set out to hurt Meghan, they're also hurting Harry and by hurting Harry, they're attacking not only the BRF but also the monarchy in a round about way.

Like it or not, Meghan is becoming an integral part of the British royal family (as we've seen by quite a few examples of inclusion already) and she's obviously making Harry very, very happy

 

[Denville]

What it boils down to is that it doesn't matter who we deem fit or not. The only person Harry's bride has to fit is Harry himself.

Like it or not, Meghan is becoming an integral part of the British royal family (as we've seen by quite a few examples of inclusion already) and she's obviously making Harry very, very happy

well that's not quite true. there are expectations of a roya wife or husband, he or she is part of a family which represents their nation, and so they are not just "needng to please their partner and no one else."
Camilla clearly makes Charles very happy but her being a divorced woman etc, still makes some people feel that she's not quite right as the future consort of a king. Meghan is a newcomer to the RF, she will need to fit in and do a good job as princess...

 

[CTchic]

well that's not quite true. there are expectations of a roya wife or husband, he or she is part of a family which represents their nation, and so they are not just "needng to please their partner and no one else."
Camilla clearly makes Charles very happy but her being a divorced woman etc, still makes some people feel that she's not quite right as the future consort of a king. Meghan is a newcomer to the RF, she will need to fit in and do a good job as princess...

Meghan is doing her best to fit in. She is going to be confirmed into the CoE even though it was not required of her to do so, she will be at Commonwealth service with HM and other royals, she is going to become a citizen and has moved over here to be with Harry and given up her career. She has sacrificed a great deal and quite frankly I am sick to death of women in the right wing British media telling her what she should be. Meghan has the support of Harry and his family and well placed royal aides for guidance in her new life. She doesn't need the faux concern and obvious disgust of these bitter Bettys who are jealous that a woman with her intelligence and background is entering their beloved royal family and none of them are giving her a break.

 

[ACO]

What it boils down to is that it doesn't matter who we deem fit or not. The only person Harry's bride has to fit is Harry himself.

I just really wish that people that would do Meghan any kind of harm out there would stop and think that when they set out to hurt Meghan, they're also hurting Harry and by hurting Harry, they're attacking not only the BRF but also the monarchy in a round about way.

Like it or not, Meghan is becoming an integral part of the British royal family (as we've seen by quite a few examples of inclusion already) and she's obviously making Harry very, very happy

Agree.

They also need to realize attacking her is just going to get the opposite results. Meghan has been welcomed into the family and treated as such since the day that announcement happened. She is being included in royal functions and treated as one of them despite the marriage not being official yet. So to attack her is to attack them and make them want to protect her all the more and show everyone just how much they support her.

She doesn't need the faux concern and obvious disgust of these bitter Bettys who are jealous that a woman with her intelligence and background is entering their beloved royal family and none of them are giving her a break.

Tell me about it. My eyes about to get stuck from rolling them so hard from each article I read basically saying "Meghan needs to know her place and never speak ever." I just read one that basically said her job is to be a "Mute Princess". These are women writing this (and the irony in that is considering they speaking their opinion.) I agree she can't speak freely like she did in the past because she has to be mindful of her new role but give me a break. I think she and the people advising her are well aware of that. Wanting to silence Meghan and have her stand in a corner looking pretty and just breeding does no one any good. Welcome to 2018.

 

[Denville]

Meghan is doing her best to fit in. She is going to be confirmed into the CoE even though it was not required of her to do so, she will be at Commonwealth service with HM and other royals, she is going to become a citizen and has moved over here to be with Harry and given up her career. She has sacrificed a great deal and quite frankly I am sick to death of women in the right wing British media telling her what she should be. Meghan has the support of Harry and his family and well placed royal aides for guidance in her new life. She doesn't need the faux concern and obvious disgust of these bitter Bettys who are jealous that a woman with her intelligence and background is entering their beloved royal family and none of them are giving her a break.

Its not MY royal family.... and she has to do these things if she wants to marry Harry. she could hardly marry him and he'd move to the US to be with her...

 

[Osipi]

Its not MY royal family.... and she has to do these things if she wants to marry Harry. she could hardly marry him and he'd move to the US to be with her...

To be honest, watching the two of them together, I wouldn't doubt that if there were restrictions put into play where Harry was forbidden to marry Meghan, I think it would have been very possible for him to up and denounce everything and move to Canada for her. Fortunately, that was never remotely an issue.

Meghan also knew what she was facing with a life with Harry as Harry knew what obstacles would arise out of a life with Meghan. These are two people accepting each other on their own terms first and working out the problems stemming from exterior factions together.

I don't see anything as being that Meghan has to do this or do that or else but rather that the roles and expectations of what being married to Harry would encompass is agreeable to her and comes as part and parcel of the man she loves which she is obviously taking on very willingly without question.

 

[CTchic]

That is what i am saying, she has made changes but clearly to some people, it doesn't matter what she does, she is not good enough and quite frankly that is disgusting.

 

[wyevale]

quite frankly that is disgusting.

.. People will ALWAYS have differing opinions on a given issue, so it seem unwise to get quite so het up about their attitude.. perhaps just DON'T read their articles ?

 

[O-H Anglophile]

I just really wish that people that would do Meghan any kind of harm out there would stop and think that when they set out to hurt Meghan, they're also hurting Harry and by hurting Harry, they're attacking not only the BRF but also the monarchy in a round about way.

I don't think blind hatred allows for that sort of reasoning.

 

[soapstar]

She has sacrificed a great deal and quite frankly I am sick to death of women in the right wing British media telling her what she should be.

Unfortunately she will be facing this for the rest of her life. The media love to write critical articles about members of the BRF. Eugenie and Beatrice get mean spirited articles written about them constantly and their mother was attacked viciously back in her day (they even used to make fun of her weight).

All of the royals (especially the women) have to deal with the media telling them how they should be. No matter what the royals do, there is going to be someone standing on the sidelines complaining. I imagine Meghan understands this and knows to just ignore all of the useless outside noise and carry on.

Tell me about it. My eyes about to get stuck from rolling them so hard from each article I read basically saying "Meghan needs to know her place and never speak ever." I just read one that basically said her job is to be a "Mute Princess". I agree she can't speak freely like she did in the past because she has to be mindful of her new role but give me a break.

It's quite ridiculous. If she didn't speak, they would criticize her for that. Kate has been told that she doesn't speak enough, now Meghan is being told that she speaks too much. Can't win with the media.

 

[Pranter]

And (some) folks wonder why William and Harry take such a hard line with the media....I think it was very smart of Meghan and Harry to decide from the start to not read any of it good/bad ..to turn toward each other and shut the noise out


LaRae

 

[ACO]

It's quite ridiculous. If she didn't speak, they would criticize her for that. Kate has been told that she doesn't speak enough, now Meghan is being told that she speaks too much. Can't win with the media.

Exactly. Damn if they do, damn if they don't.

 

[Jacknch]

Please note that posts relating to Meghan's parents have been moved to the http://www.theroyalforums.com/forums/f34/meghan-markle-family-and-background-43856.html - really it should be quite simple to distinguish between the topics of the threads.