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Harry is only 5th in the line of succession and soon to be 6th when William's and Kate's third child is born. In the end, even if the RF objected to Harry marrying Meghan, I suppose the Queen would feel it would not be worth making a big deal out of it and, in fact, it would probably be counterproductive to do so. Besides, if the marriage doesn't work out in the long run, the worst that could happen would be Harry and Meghan getting a divorce, which is now a pretty routine affair in the Royal Family.
He is still the son of the heir; and he and his wife are expected to represent the royal family. So, whether he is 3rd, 5th or 6th doesn't really matter IMO. Formerly, everyone in the line of succession needed the monarch's permission to marry; it was only recently changed to the first six - which I think is a little short-sighted given that those below number 6 might be representing the family if the heir (and/or heir of the heir) has a larger family - as they still would need representatives of the various generations.
If the queen truly thought that this would be a big mistake, it would be worth it to escalate things and 'find a solution'. However, as I said above, she allowed Charles to marry Camilla... so I really don't see the problem and am surprised that the issue is even raised by some.
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