"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Denville]

I agree that a lot of people might not know about nor understand customs of a different country. However, Meghan is not an idiot, and even if she didn’t really get Trooping as a “big deal” nor understand its significance, surely she would understand that her riding in a horse drawn carriage waving to masses of cheering people as part of a parade WAS a big deal??? Come on….

very true. Meghan wasn't most immigrants, she was there in the UK because she was marrying into the premier family of the UK and she knew she was going to be a part of that family, doing charity and other work as part of the monarchy. So not to get the significance of something like Trooping, was not just like eating with the wrong fork or calling biscuits cookies....

 

[Moran]

very true. Meghan wasn't most immigrants, she was there in the UK because she was marrying into the premier family of the UK and she knew she was going to be a part of that family, doing charity and other work as part of the monarchy. So not to get the significance of something like Trooping, was not just like eating with the wrong fork or calling biscuits cookies....

I agree. If Meghan was so sweet, such an wide-eyed, happy innocent, how did she not notice that she was the only American participating in a carriage procession? Or did she think anyone could just hop in for a ride? And if she didn't think it was such a big deal, why did she take part at all? Why didn't she say she can't understand such formalities, so she has no need of them? It was all good and right while she was in the world's spotlight but as soon as the moment went over, it became a very-much-not a big issue?

I have to ask, if she was such a jolly good girl having a jolly old time, why didn't she put her foot in her mouth as she rode in the carriage? She didn't play the clown then.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

So if Camilla came out and said Meghan was bad (as Harry seems to suggest she has done via leaks to the media) then that would be okay because its "contained in one place where [she] hold myself entirely accountable and responsible for what [she is] am saying.” I don't think so.

The Telegraph article is interesting because it looks beyond the royal tittle tattle (and much more actual serious claims raised IMO) to try and focus on well being and mental health and still Harry comes off poor in all respects.

He digs himself into more holes every time he speaks - now it seems Meghan did shout at staff but its only bad because we in the UK all have "unconscious bias" and so when she does it its bad but when others do its okay. Well a) I don't think it is okay whoever does it but b) there is a huge difference between someone you barely know and is "new to the company" (i.e. Meghan) shouting at you vs someone you've worked along side for a long time doing so very rarely wen they are in heightened states of emotion. Sorry but there just is. It isn't a race thing. If Meghan wasn't a person of colour but did the same I'm sure the reaction would have been the same - its about someone new coming in.

The problem with what Harry says is he is offering a 'truce" on his terms. By saying "But the way I see it is, I’m willing to forgive you for everything you’ve done, and I wish you’d actually sat down with me, properly, and instead of saying I’m delusional and paranoid, actually sit down and have a proper conversation about this, because what I’d really like is some accountability." you are ruling out them every doing that because by even sitting down with Harry they would be appearing to agree they are to blame and are taking accountability for all the things Harry has claimed they have done. Without accepting any blame or missteps himself he can't really ever expect his family to reconcile with him again. He is clever though is saying enough times he "just wants to talk and make things right" but actually his book has shown that any time that has happened he has shut it down or walked away - the infamous Notts Cotts visit and dog bowl gate, Philip's funeral and more. He doesn't like what they say so shuts it down but then says he is open to talking. It reminds me of a company I once worked for who use to say how open they were to staff feedback because it looked good to create this "family style" image but actually in reality never did what they said.

Really insightful - when Harry’s family has tried, he has shut them down. How awfully sad to say or think that your brother doesn’t mean it when he tells you that he loves you.

 

[Granada]

Hallo Girl, just to give my two cents on you wondering if Meghan It dawned on her between the Jubilee and Funeral how much She walked away from...
Nope, I don't believe She cared one bit.

I bet She has ZERO regrets since the HI-HO proposal got vetoed.

She got her photo op and not much more. She knows the Family despise her and she isn't liked by the British People.
She was never invested in The UK or playing a "supporting role" in the Family.

She is uber rich beyond her wildest dreams with the fame and lifestyle She always dreamed of.

But, lets see if life's reality hits the fairy tale The Sussex's are peddling.
She is married to a man with deep seated emotional and anger issues. The drama in that house must be high. Exhausting.

They haven't been embraced by the American Political or Social Elite either. Oprah is about it, AND She might distance herself after The Sussex's revealed that they tape and screen save ALL communications.

Like so many others here, I feel lots of People are turned off by their never ending grievances too. It will be interesting to see where they are in 5-10 years. I think his neediness will bore her, and I think her difficult nature will be more apparent to him.

Very much Duke and Duchess of Windsor like.

 

[kimebear]

I can't help thinking about what Jane Goodall said about Harry wanting to live and raise his children in Africa. It's too bad that wasn't allowed in retrospect, since he might have truly been content there.

Although the security measures would have been a challenge, maybe he would have found peace and happiness there by plunging into the conservation projects that were close to his heart and wouldn't have felt the need to write this train wreck of a book and further alienate his family.

 

[tihkon2]

I can't help thinking about what Jane Goodall said about Harry wanting to live and raise his children in Africa. It's too bad that wasn't allowed in retrospect, since he might have truly been content there.

Although the security measures would have been a challenge, maybe he would have found peace and happiness there by plunging into the conservation projects that were close to his heart and wouldn't have felt the need to write this train wreck of a book and further alienate his family.

Meghan would never have been happy there. So that was a no go. There's not enough A-listers there.

 

[kimebear]

Meghan would never have been happy there. So that was a no go. There's not enough A-listers there.

And that's the problem with a Hollywood lifestyle.

By nature, most of the BRF are the outdoorsy country life type, and Harry is too in a fairly big way if we are to believe anything he wrote. But perhaps he should have learned more from his mother's life and remembered that women who prefer a faster life and bigger spotlight generally don't do well as royals in the end.

 

[Sunnystar]

Meghan would never have been happy there. So that was a no go. There's not enough A-listers there.

I suspect that had Africa been on the table when Harry was dating Chelsy, he would have jumped at the chance, and that they'd be happy together.

 

[TLLK]

Prince Harry reveals that he's not very religious but considers himself to be spiritual. Also he wonders if the late Diana, Princess of Wales might have had a part in delaying the 2005 wedding of the then Prince of Wales and Camila Parker-Bowles.


https://archive.ph/1caki

[FONT=&quot]The Duke of Sussex shows in his memoir how deeply spiritual he is in relation to his memories of his mother Diana, Princess of Wales.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But the powerful religious ties that permeated the life of his grandmother and his father are notably absent from Spare.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In fact, the Duke reveals in his new autobiography that he is “not religious” - despite his family’s historical and significantly close ties with the Church of England.[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Meanwhile, the book is littered with spiritual references, including speculating that “some force in the universe” was repeatedly blocking the King’s wedding to the Queen Consort and believing that an encounter with a leopard was a sign from his mother.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Prince Harry even suggests that the universal force behind the wedding disruption might be his mother too.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He wrote: “I couldn’t help but think that some force in the universe (Mummy?) was blocking rather than blessing their union. Maybe the universe delays what it disapproves of?”[/FONT]

 

[Alison H]

very true. Meghan wasn't most immigrants, she was there in the UK because she was marrying into the premier family of the UK and she knew she was going to be a part of that family, doing charity and other work as part of the monarchy. So not to get the significance of something like Trooping, was not just like eating with the wrong fork or calling biscuits cookies....

Why didn't Harry explain it to her? He keeps going on about what a difficult time his mother had. If an earl's daughter found it difficult to adapt, someone who wasn't even from the UK was bound to find it difficult. So why didn't he explain things and prepare her?

I don't think it's a big deal that he's not religious. The 2021 census showed that fewer than 50% of people in England and Wales identify as Christian. The monarch and direct heirs have to be seen to be "religious" because of the monarch being Supreme Governor of the C of E, but I don't think anyone's that bothered if minor royals are religious or not.

 

[kimebear]

I suspect that had Africa been on the table when Harry was dating Chelsy, he would have jumped at the chance, and that they'd be happy together.

I think you're right. Hopefully William takes heed if his own children, aside from George, choose a quieter path.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

Why didn't Harry explain it to her? He keeps going on about what a difficult time his mother had. If an earl's daughter found it difficult to adapt, someone who wasn't even from the UK was bound to find it difficult. So why didn't he explain things and prepare her?

I don't think it's a big deal that he's not religious. The 2021 census showed that fewer than 50% of people in England and Wales identify as Christian. The monarch and direct heirs have to be seen to be "religious" because of the monarch being Supreme Governor of the C of E, but I don't think anyone's that bothered if minor royals are religious or not.

It’s because he didn’t like and understand royal life himself. Plus I am sure early on they had been discussing their plans on leaving is why he never properly initiated her on royal life. Also IMO, he basically used Meghan as a shield to leave the U.K, since he always wanted to leave, this time he wouldn’t be leaving on his own. He was so happy to have secured her that he got wound up in the romance to try to educate her himself. Plus his paranoia and fear that he would lose Meghan just like his mother. He’s also never truly taken royal life and history seriously at all. But Meghan had Melissa and a few assistants help her but look how that turned out. Another suggestion is that he was used to getting his way that he thought that the privilege would be extended to Meghan because she’s his wife.

 

[Somebody]

Why didn't Harry explain it to her? He keeps going on about what a difficult time his mother had. If an earl's daughter found it difficult to adapt, someone who wasn't even from the UK was bound to find it difficult. So why didn't he explain things and prepare her?

I don't think it's a big deal that he's not religious. The 2021 census showed that fewer than 50% of people in England and Wales identify as Christian. The monarch and direct heirs have to be seen to be "religious" because of the monarch being Supreme Governor of the C of E, but I don't think anyone's that bothered if minor royals are religious or not.

They still had Meghan convert and become a member of the Church of England (which I still believe was more out of tradition than anything else), had at least Archie baptized. All rather hypocritical if you profess not to be religious (but only spiritual).

Nonetheless, I agree that the bigger problem lies with William (and Catherine). Unlike his grandmother, there are few signs that they consider themselves as Christians/believers - members of the CoE, yes (although Catherine was confirmed only just before her wedding), but that's about it.

 

[tihkon2]

Prince Harry reveals that he's not very religious but considers himself to be spiritual. Also he wonders if the late Diana, Princess of Wales might have had a part in delaying the 2005 wedding of the then Prince of Wales and Camila Parker-Bowles.


https://archive.ph/1caki

Oh for pete's sake.
I hope Charles doesn't invite them. I don't think Camilla would like to be in the same room as Harold.

 

[chelly]

Oh for pete's sake.
I hope Charles doesn't invite them. I don't think Camilla would like to be in the same room as Harold.

Probably the whole family doesn't want to be in the same room with him. I think Charles will be stuck between a rock and hard place when it comes to his Coronation. He invites them , the family and the country will be upset. He doesn't they have fodder to say "see how mean the firm is "

 

[tihkon2]

Probably the whole family doesn't want to be in the same room with him. I think Charles will be stuck between a rock and hard place when it comes to his Coronation. He invites them , the family and the country will be upset. He doesn't they have fodder to say "see how mean the firm is "

IMHO, Charles won't get much flack from the people that count. The British. It doesn't matter at all what America thinks.

 

[Prinsara]

He doesn't they have fodder to say "see how mean the firm is "

I think there's plenty of fodder at this point to say "See how mean the Sussexes are".

Harry is certainly not angling for an invite to "the Institution party" by continuing to open his mouth. Besides, how can they attend when he publicly opposes the Queen Consort this way? Perhaps the most diplomatic thing would be for them to decline an invitation, but there's not much diplomacy in the air between the UK and Montecito these days.

 

[Granada]

Is there nothing the ghostly Diana can't do ?

Im not trying to be flippant, but Harry's obsession with her is beyond unhealthy. She throws up roadblocks to delay Charles and Camilla's Wedding.....Her hair in a box on his nitestand is credited with assisting in Meghan becoming pregnant. His words, after placing the pregnancy test beside the box "right, lets see what Mummy can do about this situation".......

Its obsessive and it seems to be worsening. Downright creepy.

 

[Hallo girl]

Is there nothing the ghostly Diana can't do ?

Im not trying to be flippant, but Harry's obsession with her is beyond unhealthy. She throws up roadblocks to delay Charles and Camilla's Wedding.....Her hair in a box on his nitestand is credited with assisting in Meghan becoming pregnant. His words, after placing the pregnancy in test beside the box "right, lets see what Mummy can do about this situation".......
Its obsessive and it seems to be worsening. Downright creepy.

I wondered if he had referred to the death of the pope, the wedding was delayed by 24hours to allow Charles to attend the popes funeral.

 

[Kaye1850]

It seems to me that ‘the elephant in the room’ is the apparent discrepancy between the Sussexes’ intelligence. Harry may well have emotional intelligence but he self-admittedly is not book smart. Meghan is well-educated, articulate and ambitious.

I don’t think this bodes well for long term happiness. And I can’t believe she didn’t play a huge part in crafting this book, along with an excellent ghostwriter.

 

[Lilyflo]

Is there nothing the ghostly Diana can't do ?

Im not trying to be flippant, but Harry's obsession with her is beyond unhealthy. She throws up roadblocks to delay Charles and Camilla's Wedding.....Her hair in a box on his nitestand is credited with assisting in Meghan becoming pregnant. His words, after placing the pregnancy in test beside the box "right, lets see what Mummy can do about this situation".......
Its obsessive and it seems to be worsening. Downright creepy.

I agree - he needs help to let his mother rest in peace. Personally, I don't believe in an afterlife but I know some people do so if it's a comfort to them, that's their business. However, Diana's continual spiritual existence in Harry's life isn't helping him cope with the material realities of the present IMO. In this book, many of his thoughts and actions appear to be skewed by consistent drug and alcohol abuse and when he's sober, he's often imagining 'Mummy' making things happen, like a Genie or maybe the goddess she's named after. It all sounds bonkers to me.

 

[Denville]

Why didn't Harry explain it to her? He keeps going on about what a difficult time his mother had. If an earl's daughter found it difficult to adapt, someone who wasn't even from the UK was bound to find it difficult. So why didn't he explain things and prepare her?

I.

Do you need to ask? Harry didn't explain it probably because he didn't understand much of the royal rituals himself.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

Harry wants Charles and William to grovel and beg forgiveness from him and Meghan for Harry's unhappiness. The "accountability" he refers to is probably multiple public apologies, strong pushback on any negative article about Meghan and Harry, and regular statements from how superior Harry and Meghan are to them in every respect and how grateful they are that Harry and Meghan have advise them on how to represent the UK and Commonwealth.

The tragedy is that even if his family did everything he says he wants, Harry would not be happy. Despite have a lovely family, wealth, attention, and a large number of strangers who adore him, he will always dwell on what he doesn't have.

My experience with people in the developed world who think they will be happy only when they get something else (fame, money, respect), are never satisfied even when they achieve their goal. I hate to be negative but I doubt Harry has the understanding and self-awareness to achieve real happiness. I think he is destined to be miserable for the rest of his life and never understand why.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

I wondered if he had referred to the death of the pope, the wedding was delayed by 24hours to allow Charles to attend the popes funeral.

Thank you for saying this. It occurred to me that he was saying that Diana killed Saint Pope John Paul II, but I thought I was alone.

 

[Denville]

Thank you for saying this. It occurred to me that he was saying that Diana killed Saint Pope John Paul II, but I thought I was alone.

As far as I can remember that was the main delay... there were problems about where teh service would take place but they were not really a big thing that would make you think thr Universe was stopping them getting married. the only thing was the death of te Pope.

 

[Lori138]

I dont want to say Meghan made Harry behave like this.... because I think his book has shown that he is often a very nasty piece of work, but i certianly dont think she's doing anything to calm or restrain hm. SHe must have read the book, did she not realise that it was SO unpleasant and showed his bad side so much? and I think that the more he's been getting a cool reception for the book the more he's been working himself up to greater rage.

Why would Meghan see the unpleasant things when the Sussex squad doesn't see them and constantly defends his every word?

 

[US Royal Watcher]

As far as I can remember that was the main delay... there were problems about where teh service would take place but they were not really a big thing that would make you think thr Universe was stopping them getting married. the only thing was the death of te Pope.

There was something about a requirement that the chapel be open for other weddings if they had gotten married there. I could be wrong but I don't recall that this delayed the ceremony. They just had to adjust the logistics.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

Has anyone seen the reviews on Amazon? It appears that Harry and Meghan or one of them has been writing good reviews about their book under the name, Duke and Duchess of Sussex. ?

 

[Denville]

Why would Meghan see the unpleasant things when the Sussex squad doesn't see them and constantly defends his every word?

we are told that Meghan is intelligent and well educated, so surely she could see that things like admitting to hitting your police officer, or mocking a disabled woman and still laughing about it, or a persistent whine about your brother, or stuff about H's first sexual encounters, would probalby put a lot of people off. Even if she sympathised with his feelings, wouldnt it be wiser to say "Harry, i wouldnt mention about putting your mother's cream on your bits and peices, or laughing at the plain matron, or hitting your police officer.

 

[Denville]

There was something about a requirement that the chapel be open for other weddings if they had gotten married there. I could be wrong but I don't recall that this delayed the ceremony. They just had to adjust the logistics.

It was that if they had a civil ceremony in Windsor castle, as they were planning, then the building would have to be licenced, and that would mean that other people could use it.