"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Lilyflo]

It infuriates me that Harry continually whines about how traumatic it is to be the spare when he's been indulged and protected all his life. I would love to know what Princess Anne is saying about all this. If ever there's a model of how to be a spare, she is it. Look at all the events she does (we see them reported here on the forum) without national media coverage (let alone international). She just goes out and does it without any fuss or drama. She has a small team supporting her and although she isn't perfect (her abruptness to reporters asking stupid questions is legendary), she puts duty before attention-seeking stardom. That's how to be a spare IMO.

 

[Denville]

Beatrice and Eugenie have both got jobs, but Harry hasn't got the qualifications or skills to get a highly paid job, and presumably he thinks that lower paid jobs are beneath him - or why does he say that he wasn't given the skills to get a job? Charlotte and Louis will be fine.

He doesn't have the skills to get a job because he seems to have refused to learn anything much. He did not want the army unless he was in combat and that's silly as there are many many soldiers who never see combat at all. Plus he now seems to be complaining unfairly about the training he got for combat. I suspect he was pushed and coached till he could just about pass out as an officer.

 

[Hallo girl]

It infuriates me that Harry continually whines about how traumatic it is to be the spare when he's been indulged and protected all his life. I would love to know what Princess Anne is saying about all this. If ever there's a model of how to be a spare, she is it. Look at all the events she does (we see them reported here on the forum) without national media coverage (let alone international). She just goes out and does it without any fuss or drama. She has a small team supporting her and although she isn't perfect (her abruptness to reporters asking stupid questions is legendary), she puts duty before attention-seeking stardom. That's how to be a spare IMO.

Also the Dukes of Kent and Gloucester, anybody that knows royal history will know how close they were to the crown, they went down the hierarchy very quickly as children came along. Do you ever hear them complaining, to watch the Duke of Kent at times struggle to walk but he is still there doing his duty.
He couldn't manage to walk behind the cortege along the mall etc but he did walk down the aisle at Westminster, he really does reflect duty.
I do intend reading his book, I am sure it will be interesting.

 

[Granada]

Harold the dim delusional "campaigner" says he wants accountability and an apology, from Charles and William. As he insults, betrays and now seemingly threaten them with more "revelations".

He is simply insufferable. No other than word seems to fit.
He says he is on a quest to save other women from misogyny like Meghan suffered, especially women of color. And it seems educate and enlighten
men as He has been.

Too me from this Bryony Gordon puff piece, the longer more in depth Substack one, (she seems infatuated with him ) it seems Harry envisions positioning himself as some Global figure.
A world recognized and feted game changer for battling misogyny and championship of mental health issues. Its his " responsibility " to call it out publicly.

What I see at the crux of his revenge driven agenda is that jealous Harry wants to be a worldwide figure of renown as Charles is and William, as Prince of Wales is solidly becoming too.

I posted last week after the Book leaked that there was no way Harry could go to the Coronation.
Does anyone think that after these destructive bitter diatribes in the Interviews, after The Book no less, that he would even be invited ?

Its one thing for Charles as a "Father", but at some point to allow yourself to be insulted, made a fool of and used as a punching back due to one sons unhealthy obsession of his Mother, I would say enough is enough.
Harry is attacking your other son, wife and now offering up your grandchildren to the Public.

Just as in dealing with drug addict, A firm NO and "tough love" treatment must be used.

 

[Granada]

Hallo girl, excellent point about The Duke of Kent !
He lost his father in a tragic plane crash when he was a young boy too. Younger than Harry, and his mother then had financial difficulties too.
But he was obviously made of much sterner stuff. Same as Prince Philip, who had a truly bleak childhood too.

 

[kimebear]

What does he want ?

Affirmation.

He wants Charles and William to admit that everything Harry has been saying all along is true and that they are the villains and he is the injured party. Nothing else apparently will do, and Harry's going to keep railing until he gets it. Which he won't.

If Meghan genuinely loves her husband, she will see that he's slowly destroying himself interview by interview and get him some real help before the horrific crash that Harry seems bound towards. Money is secondary.

 

[Denville]

Does Meghan realise that Harry is such a mess? It seems to me that she's encouraged him to write the book and promote it, and if she can see that he has been melting down badly, she's not doing anything about it.

 

[Hallo girl]

Does Meghan realise that Harry is such a mess? It seems to me that she's encouraged him to write the book and promote it, and if she can see that he has been melting down badly, she's not doing anything about it.

He is surely displaying this anger in front of Meghan, I am not inferring towards her, maybe she is trying to help.
She has been very quiet the last few days. No sources say or friends of say.
It does make you wonder.

 

[FigTree]

Does Meghan realise that Harry is such a mess? It seems to me that she's encouraged him to write the book and promote it, and if she can see that he has been melting down badly, she's not doing anything about it.

I almost thibk it is a destructive cycle they are both in. Money would be on her to get out of it though.
I think they believe every word they say. You have to wish them well.

 

[Denville]

He is surely displaying this anger in front of Meghan, I am not inferring towards her, maybe she is trying to help.
She has been very quiet the last few days. No sources say or friends of say.
It does make you wonder.

I dont want to say Meghan made Harry behave like this.... because I think his book has shown that he is often a very nasty piece of work, but i certianly dont think she's doing anything to calm or restrain hm. SHe must have read the book, did she not realise that it was SO unpleasant and showed his bad side so much? and I think that the more he's been getting a cool reception for the book the more he's been working himself up to greater rage.

 

[kimebear]

Does Meghan realise that Harry is such a mess? It seems to me that she's encouraged him to write the book and promote it, and if she can see that he has been melting down badly, she's not doing anything about it.

If their current behavior is anything to go by, it doesn't appear that either of them can see outside of themselves.

It probably doesn't help that they exist in a celebrity enclave in California where their words and actions are applauded as 'brave' by others who also lead privileged lives and have no real clue or interest in the monarchy as an institution.

Harry is being propped up by the celebrity subculture right now, where he's popular and the toast of the talk show circuit, without realizing that that kind of fame is fickle and fleeting. At this point he'll have to write the second book, just to stay relevant for another 15 minutes.

 

[FigTree]

I dont want to say Meghan made Harry behave like this.... because I think his book has shown that he is often a very nasty piece of work, but i certianly dont think she's doing anything to calm or restrain hm. SHe must have read the book, did she not realise that it was SO unpleasant and showed his bad side so much? and I think that the more he's been getting a cool reception for the book the more he's been working himself up to greater rage.

Has he got a cool reception? I haven't kept up. Walked into my local bookshop earlier amd certainly his table seems unnoticed.

 

[FigTree]

If their current behavior is anything to go by, it doesn't appear that either of them can see outside of themselves.

It probably doesn't help that they exist in a celebrity enclave in California where their words and actions are applauded as 'brave' by others who also lead privileged lives and have no real clue or interest in the monarchy as an institution.

Harry is being propped up by the celebrity subculture right now, where he's popular and the toast of the talk show circuit, without realizing that that kind of fame is fickle and fleeting. At this point he'll have to write the second book, just to stay relevant for another 15 minutes.

Nobody will be interested in a second book. The family have moved on. What has he got to say about them. A lot of the staff he is talking aboit have already gone...the rest will go eventually. The Wales children will grow up. Harry needs to build a life for himself. And maybe give up this media crusade which his father was right about...he won't win anyway.

 

[Clematis]

I think with regards to William, of all the red lines Harry has already crossed, dragging the Wales children into this mess is the most unforgivable one.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...clear-children-not-Harrys-responsibility.html

This is just unbelievable. Reaching the point of dragging the children Wales (and, indirectly, questioning William and Catherine's abilities as parents) in this horrific situation is the lowest of the lowest.
If he were my brother, surely I would never want to have *anything* to do with him - unless public apologies arrived.

He's an unstable person in desperate need of help, and it's so sad to see people giving him a stage (books, interviews, tv series...) in order to make money.
His ego is something I've personally never seen before, he consider himself a sort of savior of everything that's wrong - according to him - in he BRF, even implying that "one day they'll see the benefit of his decision to speak out".

I agree with those who say that, this level having been reached, he and Meghan should absolutely not be invited to the coronation. I can understand the love king Charles has for his son but it's time to offer some "tough love" too.
Spoiling and protecting him all his life has done no good; he behaves like a teen brat who can't take "no" for an answer.

It's also incredibly sad to see that he appears to have no real friends anymore, someone to make him understand that what he's doing is not just wrong, it's suicidal; someone to explain to him that he will never heal if he continues to publicly attack his family.
True healing comes from within, from deep and humble self-analysis, the acceptance of our responsabilities, the acknowledge of our own limits - as well as other people's.
The closest person he has right now, his wife, seems to be the least advisable to help him, since she's clearly profiting very much from all this.

I see no way out of it.

 

[kimebear]

Nobody will be interested in a second book. The family have moved on. What has he got to say about them. A lot of the staff he is talking aboit have already gone...the rest will go eventually. The Wales children will grow up. Harry needs to build a life for himself. And maybe give up this media crusade which his father was right about...he won't win anyway.

There are always going to be people who will buy the second book if it promises to be more juicy that the first. Just to be enthralled by the gossip inside.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of books have been written about the royals over the years and they still keep selling. And this one is written by a royal himself, so even more enticing. Doesn't seem to matter how much truth is contained inside.

 

[Hallo girl]

have you not seen the British press?

He is the one that is feeding the press that is the irony, every time he does another interview they run with it again. He is the one that is adding fuel to the fire. He adds another bit at every interview or contradicts himself from interview to interview.

Talking about Williams children was a sure fire way to make the headlines, the press all know the children are a no go area ,other than arranged events, and they abide by it. It is Harry that is breaking the rules.

 

[FigTree]

This is just unbelievable. Reaching the point of dragging the children Wales (and, indirectly, questioning William and Catherine's abilities as parents) in this horrific situation is the lowest of the lowest.
If he were my brother, surely I would never want to have *anything* to do with him - unless public apologies arrived.

He's an unstable person in desperate need of help, and it's so sad to see people giving him a stage (books, interviews, tv series...) in order to make money.
His ego is something I've personally never seen before, he consider himself a sort of savior of everything that's wrong - according to him - in he BRF, even implying that "one day they'll see the benefit of his decision to speak out".

I agree with those who say that, this level having been reached, he and Meghan should absolutely not be invited to the coronation. I can understand the love king Charles has for his son but it's time to offer some "tough love" too.
Spoiling and protecting him all his life has done no good; he behaves like a teen brat who can't take "no" for an answer.

It's also incredibly sad to see that he appears to have no real friends anymore, someone to make him understand that what he's doing is not just wrong, it's suicidal; someone to explain to him that he will never heal if he continues to publicly attack his family.
True healing comes from within, from deep and humble self-analysis, the acceptance of our responsabilities, the acknowledge of our own limits - as well as other people's.
The closest person he has right now, his wife, seems to be the least advisable to help him, since she's clearly profiting very much from all this.

I see no way out of it.

First rule of the family of alcoholics group: step back. Don’t rescue. All those friends and no doubt family have to look after themselves. I have no doubt if they were decent human beings they will have tried but you can only do so much.

So yes Harry seems isolated without many, if any, friends except those 'journalists' and even Tom looked a bit shocked at the person he was interviewing...having known him for years.

I think fundamentally Harry is a person who needs looking after. No doubt numerous people were at it for years. And yes to an extent controlling. It depends though who js the puppet master.

 

[Hallo girl]

First rule of the family of alcoholics group: step back. Don’t rescue. All those friends and no doubt family have to look after themselves. I have no doubt if they were decent human beings they will have tried but you can only do so much.

So yes Harry seems isolated without many, if any, friends except those 'journalists' and even Tom looked a bit shocked at the person he was interviewing...having known him for years.

I think fundamentally Harry is a person who needs looking after. No doubt numerous people were at it for years. And yes to an extent controlling. It depends though who js the puppet master.

I thought at times he looked stunned with what he was hearing, especially the ' racism' comments, I only saw clips of the Anderson Cooper but I thought the same. I would love to know their opinions of Harry especially Tom as he has as you pointed out known him for a number of years,

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

I have a bachelor’s degree and an MBA. I have travelled the world for work, and took many trips to the UK. I would have no idea what a big deal Trooping the Color is. I still don’t understand it, and I’ve followed these forums for a few years now.

I think most immigrants make faux pas in their new country.

I agree that a lot of people might not know about nor understand customs of a different country. However, Meghan is not an idiot, and even if she didn’t really get Trooping as a “big deal” nor understand its significance, surely she would understand that her riding in a horse drawn carriage waving to masses of cheering people as part of a parade WAS a big deal??? Come on….

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

I think that's a fair point and I would agree somewhat except that some things aren't easy to research. For example, it seems clear to me that Harry (through a combination of wilful ignorance and self-interest) didn't tell Meghan they'd always have to be the side dishes to the main meal. That the priority in publicity would always be his brother and father. That much of their work would be opening factories on wet days in small towns. That their best role model was Princess Anne not Princess Diana. That their role was not to hit the ground running and change the world. That they weren't competing with William and Catherine. That his father was planning a slimmed down monarchy so their children might not be princes. I could go on and on...

Absolutely- if she’d known these things from the get go maybe things would have been different. I think they both let their popularity go to their heads and believed that they could be equal (or even higher) in rank than the Cambridges (at that time).

 

[Somebody]

Nobody will be interested in a second book. The family have moved on. What has he got to say about them. A lot of the staff he is talking aboit have already gone...the rest will go eventually. The Wales children will grow up. Harry needs to build a life for himself. And maybe give up this media crusade which his father was right about...he won't win anyway.

My take is a different one. A second book will still garner much attention and most likely bring in big bucks once more. The press will continue to have a field day, so he can continue complaing about them and given that that is his proclaimed life mission that seems a rather easy route to continue being furious at the press (and royal family whom he can fantasize is behind all of this)..

 

[Hallo girl]

I agree that a lot of people might not know about nor understand customs of a different country. However, Meghan is not an idiot, and even if she didn’t really get Trooping as a “big deal” nor understand its significance, surely she would understand that her riding in a horse drawn carriage waving to masses of cheering people as part of a parade WAS a big deal??? Come on….

I have wondered if between the jubilee and then Her Majesty’s funeral if it suddenly dawned on Meghan how much she had walked away from.

 

[Lee-Z]

My take is a different one. A second book will still garner much attention and most likely bring in big bucks once more. The press will continue to have a field day, so he can continue complaing about them and given that that is his proclaimed life mission that seems a rather easy route to continue being furious at the press (and royal family whom he can fantasize is behind all of this)..

I agree, imo there will be plenty of interest in the future, there's plenty of interest still in Diana and for many, as long as Charles/Camilla exist, there will be people who want fo read any accusation against them as a revenge for Diana.
Even on these forums there are posters which deflect any negative story about Harry or Diana with a 'But Charles cheated with Camilla' as if that evens everything out.
Harry used the 'his bedroom was bigger than mine' card against William, so there too, will be plenty of memories left to point out how much better William had it.

And after all, what we first and foremost learn from Spare is that what Harry says and writes doesn't *have* to be actual fact, as long as he can come up with memories and keeps it vague enough not the actually risk libel, he'll have plenty of interviews and books left in him.

I think the best we, who more appreciate *the* facts than *his* facts, can hope for is that at some point he either gives up on his british family and move forward with his life, or he does find a therapy that teaches empathy or 'seeing things from the other side', although at the moment i don't see that happening.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Harry did substantiate the claim in interviews and presumably the book. His assertion is that Camilla was / is dangerous because she has forged relationships with the media with her motive for doing so to rehabilitate her image, and as part of that effort, he and other members of the royal family have been "sacrificed".

Of course there are those who may disagree with him but he did give his reasoning for the characterization.

1. There is no proof of this
2. This is exactly what he is doing and BY THE WAY his mother is known to have done the same thing. It's clear Harry is more dangerous than Camilla.

 

[Lee-Z]

I have wondered if between the jubilee and then Her Majesty’s funeral if it suddenly dawned on Meghan how much she had walked away from.

I wondered about that when the hearse being driven from Balmoral to London, and then the laying in state of HM were televised live on TV for hours (without commercials!), and the long lines of people wanting to pay their respect.

But then, H&M seem to see everything through their own glasses, so who knows how they saw that, maybe they just thought it was oldfashioned and archaic.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I have a bachelor’s degree and an MBA. I have travelled the world for work, and took many trips to the UK. I would have no idea what a big deal Trooping the Color is. I still don’t understand it, and I’ve followed these forums for a few years now.

I think most immigrants make faux pas in their new country.

Then if you're invited to it wouldn't you perhaps oh I don't know Ask and research? This ignorant American excuse is making us all look bad.

 

[Granada]

Does Harry address in the Book when the Sussex's came up with the 'Half In-Half Out' Plan ?
I am very curious if he established a timeline for it.

Lots of his bitterness seems to be that it was denied. In its entirety.
Its obvious to anyone that follows them, that they thought it would be approved in some fashion and that they would keep their prestigious Commonwealth Roles and The VIP Security too, taken away it hit Harry's ego hard. Not to mention his wallet.

All Harry really knows IS being a Royal, I don't think in spite of his words that being a Soldier defined him. He "used" it to establish credibility and a separate identity. But it obviously didn't stick.

All their grand plans literally vetoed, and then Covid Lockdowns came. No ability to make big bucks on the talk circuit as he had wanted. I think they ALWAYS thought that they would be in The States too. Rubbing shoulders with A-listers in Politics and Hollywood and being influential on their own. White House visits, and invites to prestigious events like President Obama's BIG 60th Birthday Gala.

But none of that happened. And I think it absolutely eats them up. They arent A-listers or important. No matter the Podcast, or Docu-series they cant break through.
President Biden WENT out of his way to meet William and Kate when both were in Boston last month. That's power, that clout.

That what The Sussex wanted. Reach.
I think they decided soon after the Wedding, they were leaving, Part time Royals on their OWN terms, with the ability to make lots of money and be Global Figures in their own right, not junior members to William and Kate, either.

Deceiving The Family into the lavish Wedding, high profile Tours that they would be certainly fully committed full time members who ACCEPTED their place in the hierarchy.

I think since then The Family realised that they were played for fools, that Harry and Meghan were just biding their time to build up a public profile and then shockingly lied about false bullying and racism that forced them to leave.....finding their freedom BS..... when the Queen said No, you are in or you are out.

And now their success depends on one thing, trashing and demeaning The Royal Family and yes, The Institution of Monarchy. Selling their grievances to the highest bidder.
They are pathetic.

 

[Royalist.in.NC]

Either "the world's most experienced plaque-unveiller" or "I declare this thing open, whatever it is". Or both. But Philip had put in decades of genuine service to earn his flip, funny moments, and was not invested in anything other than supporting the monarchy.

Edit:

Even mentioning Trooping.
Actually, I'm pretty sure TPTB were not happy about him mouthing off all the time, but it's abundantly clear he was invested to the hilt and the levity didn't make a difference. Not so much Meghan.

Thanks SO MUCH for sharing this!!! My goodness, you can certainly see why HLM fell in love with him - very charming and witty - not to mention handsome

 

[Denville]

[.....]

sorry not sure what you mean. As far as I can see from social media and the Press, a LOT, probably most people in the UK are very negative about Harry's book and what he's revealed about himself.. and I think that an increasing number of Americans are the same. Its hard to imagine that a man who can write a book showing up so many nasty facets of his nature, is going to be much liked by the public. Harry was liked for some time, he seemed to be a cheerful fun guy who liked people, who did his royal work with a good deal of warmth and who wanted to help people. Then in the past year or 2 in interviews he began to reveal a very different side to his character and I think people began to feel that Jolly Jack the lad wasn't the real Harry at all. And then in this book he showed a LOT Of nastiness, and did not seem to realise how unpleasant he came across, the mocking of the Matron, hitting his security officer, making a lot of spiteful remarks about his only sibling, and it began to seem as if Jolly Harry was a COMPLETELY fictional creation of his aides, who looked after him....and there was very little of Harry that was nice or likable
Obviosly some people will continue to like and defend him, but I think he's losing public affection very fast.
Speaking for myself i used to like him for a time but became increasingly uneasy about him, and very much so since his marriage... but even so, I find myself a little shocked at some of the things he came out iwth in this book.

 

[Alison H]

Has he got a cool reception? I haven't kept up. Walked into my local bookshop earlier amd certainly his table seems unnoticed.

I think a lot of people are reading the book in the same way that you slow down to rubberneck at a car crash on the other said of the road, especially as it's been on half price sale at Waterstones and on Amazon. The reaction to the book has certainly been negative. Harry's approval rating has dropped significantly, and it was already well into negative figures.