Reasons for disliking Diana?

[adelgal_36]

i admired diana and was a big fan. i had the privelledge of seeing her in person on two occassions when she visited adelaide.
in later years during the separation and divorce i was disappointed with the way she handled things but to be fair people can react in negative ways when hurt and bitter whent things had not turned out the way they hoped and dreamed. to grow up wanting to fall in love and live happily ever after and then to find out the person you want to be with forever(supposedly) never loved you would be heartbreaking. at the same time it must have been hard for both diana and charles to have the worlds media and the public speculating on their marriage. . i believe there was faults on both sides. i am happy for him and camilla that they have been able to find happiness at last together. while i understand the sympathy people had for william and harry through the separation and divorce i for one always felt sorry for camillas children. they are not much older than the princes and it must have been very hard on them to see their mother vilified in the media and beyond especially hearing sordid details and untruths and there were many! at the end of the day i believe if diana was still alive she would have moved on and perhaps found happiness with dodi or someone else and had the baby daughter she always wanted. sadly we will never know what could have been.

 

[Warren]

Welcome to the Forums adelgal_36, and thank you for sharing your thoughts.

 

[adelgal_36]

thankyou you warren for your welcoming comment. i look forward to reading comments and interesting opinions and making a contribution as well. happy new year!

 

[maryshawn]

I thought about taping as you did but in the end wasn't able to do so (we were at a cottage w/o the equipment). But, like you, I think, even had I done so, I likely would have a hard time looking at the tapes now....It was a very painful, dreadfully confusing time.....I wonder how many of us who live in different time zones got up at 2 AM or whatever to see the funeral. I believe I once read millions and millions of people tuned in that day. I know the networks in the US had almost non-stop coverage with all their anchors flying in.

That's wise advice but in forums as in life having a strong opinion makes some people become quite a pest in their conduct toward other people. A diferrence of opinion is viewed more like a challenge than just a plain observation from someone else's point of view. And that's when good manners end up being thrown off the window and threads become chaotic.

I have to say, and I speak for some of my PM pals around, that we appreciate having here around the clock Administrators and Moderators and in every time zone possible. That leave us to be at ease in here.

But back to Diana. I like her. Nothing was more heart breaking than that night her dead was announced past midnight and the funeral ceremonies the whole week, that I recorded on two 8 hrs tapes and I haven't seen since that day.

 

[dakodas]

I have always had ambivalent feelings about Diana. As a child I soaked up information about her like a sponge because my sister was such a fan. She practiced doing the "Shy Di" look and got her hair cut so she could look up through the fringe! Everyone says she was a good mother yet at the same time she was enormously self-absorbed and self-important. She spent her free time in the last years of her marriage and then life-having her cards read, her fortune told and her colon irrigated. Oh, and plotting her every move to look good, better than Charles,to be understood, to be the Queen of Hearts, to have influence. The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!

 

[Warren]

... The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!

Let's just say she could be very 'high-maintenance'.

 

[dakodas]

Let's just say she could be very 'high-maintenance'.

Agreed. Frankly, I have been accused of as much.

 

[maryshawn]

I attribute all of this--which does seem excessive; if we can believe Simone Simmons, she once had a 12 hour conversation over the cell phone with Diana--to deep insecurity. I think many of her relationships with friends suffered when she felt they could not give back and spend all their time listening to her. A few later said they just didn't have the time and felt it was frustrating to give her advice then watch her as she ignored it. She would be 44 now and I wonder if she would have come to terms with a lot of her issues and stopped being quite so high-maintenance. Her lasting friendships seem to be predicated on basically one thing: time. The people who made time for her and were available when she needed them lasted. The others fell by the wayside. But I can understand her reaching out to a point. When going through hard times, I will call or email others......until one or all of them reach out and "slap me" and say "enough already!" I always felt, as a Princess, she somehow felt she could get new friends--but it just isn't that easy..... Look at the ones who "stayed" and are now writing about her, in not always a flattering light.

I have always had ambivalent feelings about Diana. As a child I soaked up information about her like a sponge because my sister was such a fan. She practiced doing the "Shy Di" look and got her hair cut so she could look up through the fringe! Everyone says she was a good mother yet at the same time she was enormously self-absorbed and self-important. She spent her free time in the last years of her marriage and then life-having her cards read, her fortune told and her colon irrigated. Oh, and plotting her every move to look good, better than Charles,to be understood, to be the Queen of Hearts, to have influence. The list could continue but it could go on forever. She reportedly phoned friends up to five times a day to discuss her speeches, her image, her role, her HAIR...ah, the agony!

 

[maryshawn]

Yes, indeed! Look at Charles now, asking for his personal letters back after his secretary leaked portions of his private diaries. They both had/have an "overreactive" mode they went into when feeling betrayed or misunderstood. Suddenly, everyone was the "enemy" till better sense took over again.

That's so true, Maryshawn. She was very successful with the public and media and I think its understandable that she would think that she could handle the Royal Family and its court just as easily. It was a mistake because the Royal Family doesn't operate on the same agenda as the media does so by their very nature the Royal Family and court would need to be handled differently.

I think both Charles and Diana had one way of dealing with people and if their way didn't work, then they couldn't change easily to a way that would be more effective. It caused a lot of problems for both of them.

 

[lizz70]

Yes, indeed! Look at Charles now, asking for his personal letters back after his secretary leaked portions of his private diaries. They both had/have an "overreactive" mode they went into when feeling betrayed or misunderstood. Suddenly, everyone was the "enemy" till better sense took over again.

I think the way Charles and Diana treated otherwise faithful friends at times was abysmal, even the people who didn't betray them, people who just expressed something they didn't like or agree with. They were both very spoiled people wh are used to having courtiers fawn over them. Diana, I think became increasingly paranoid and felt she had to watch her beck and this was reflected in how she treated people but Charles has always acted like a brat when he doesn't get everything his own way as can be seen by supposedly 'off camera' remarks he makes about people and journalists.

 

[Christo's Girl]

One of the reasons given for the breakdown of their marriage was that Charles and Diana were very different people. But in certain ways they were the same. Both wanted things there way.

I also found it interesting that what Diana condoned in Charles she didn't in others. For example, Annabel Goldsmith was a close friend of hers as well as Annabel's husband Lord James Goldsmith. For those who don't know them, their daughter is Jemima Goldsmith Khan, the ex wife of cricketeer Imran Khan. She is also the current girlfriend of Hugh Grant. It is a well know fact Sir James(Jimmy) had mistresses all over England and Europe throughout both his marriages. In fact when he started having children with Annabel he was married to another woman! When he did marry Annabel, he soon found a mistress yet again. I also believe that Sir James encouraged Diana to go after what she was entitled to with the divorce(rightfully so) and even paid her considerable legal fees. Now I look at this situation this way, Annabel could be like Camilla and Sir James could be Charles. Diana had no problem being good friends with these two people even though at one time in the 1970's they were in a relationship similiar to what Charles and Camilla were in through the 1980's and 1990's. Sir James was a married man who was cheating on his wife and Annabel was the "other" woman. Interesting? I also understand though, that when the betrayal happens to you it is much different.

Anyways, isn't it ill to speak of the dead?

 

[ysbel]

Her lasting friendships seem to be predicated on basically one thing: time. The people who made time for her and were available when she needed them lasted. The others fell by the wayside. But I can understand her reaching out to a point. When going through hard times, I will call or email others......until one or all of them reach out and "slap me" and say "enough already!"

Oh I can relate to that maryshawn. Some of my closest friends will say "Can we talk about something else?" and then I know enough is enough.

People may have felt uncomfortable saying no to Diana because she was so loved and so troubled and a royal princess. The problem was that healthy people are not going to let one or two people monopolize their time. They make room for all their important relationships and they take time to care for themselves.

I think that the pattern may have driven healthy people away from Diana and drawn unhealthy manipulative people towards her.

 

[ysbel]

Yes, indeed! Look at Charles now, asking for his personal letters back after his secretary leaked portions of his private diaries. They both had/have an "overreactive" mode they went into when feeling betrayed or misunderstood. Suddenly, everyone was the "enemy" till better sense took over again.

Yes, that was definitely an overreaction if we can believe the Sun who I'm not so sure about. But Charles has been known to suddenly cut off people so I think there is a grain of truth to it even if he didn't ask all of his friends for his letters back.

I think they both scarred each other terribly in the breakdown of their marriage and what they did afterwards didn't make a lot of sense to the outsider. Charles for his part I imagine got tired of being on the receiving end of a negative publicity campaign by his wife and so now that she's dead, he's not taking some of the pot shots that others throw at him so mildly. That's well and good but asking for letters back from friends that have been loyal is not the way to conduct a friendship.

 

[LanaLana28]

I think Diana could have benefited from a good pyschriatist if only she felt herself she needed help. I don't think she felt there was anything wrong with her and felt she was a victim. She was to a victum certain degree, but I do believe she exaperated the situations she got into with her behavior lead and her behavior lead to the breakdown of her marriage and Charles resuming his relationship with Camilia. I do believe he have every intention of making his marriage work, but he was dealing with someone who had a lot of emotional issues and also someone who dealt with the emotional issues by revenge, attention grabbing tackits, do you love me, etc. extremes and he simply couldn't deal with it and she did not feel she had big emotional issues. I liked Diana, but I can't deny my perception of what went on. If Charles was a perfect husband, I see that relationship having problems due to her emotional maturity and possible chemical imbalance. Proper treatment for these issues would have helped the marriage and her post marriage life and relationships with friends, etc.

 

[LanaLana28]

Also, I know Diana was thrown a bone but she could have handled it much better and got on with her life. Now, I understand a few huge fights and emotional outbursts with her husband, etc. but Diana seemed obssessed with revenge, causing trouble and justifyig her behaviour by saying she was a victum but her behaviour was making her more and more of a victum by driving away her husband, family, friends, etc. I don't think Diana really saw how her behavior played a role in her sad state and I feel sorry for any injustices she endured. But, I honestly think she had some emotional maturity issues and I believe a chemical imbalance to boot and if she focused on getting herself treated and to heck with her husband, his family, Camilia, etc. I think she would have been spared a lot of emotional pain and went on to hook up with a quality man instead of a playboy, or another married man,
etc. P.S. I truely admired Diana for her compassion and good works and feel sorry for her sadness but I think she was also her own worst enemy and her own issues made her situatin much worst.

 

[LanaLana28]

Another comment and please don't not even think I was in Prince Charles because I don't condone adultry but at least expect for that interview he was not going around bashing her and maybe that is why he is saying that the archives have the truth of the marriage. Bive him credit for at least being a gentleman and not hanging her dirt laundry out to dry. I'm sur his diaries, etc. explain a lot about her emotional outbursts that he had trouble dealing with that he considered private and if he acted like she did airing dirty laundry I think he could have made her look really, really bad, but he did not.

 

[politikgirl]

I don't dislike Diana. In fact, there are a lot of things I admire about her: her generosity, devotion to charity, devotion to her children, etc.

The only thing that bothers me about the hype around Diana (not about Diana herself) is that she is commonly recognized to be the fashion icon of all time, and yet I really don't think that much of her style (I would say that Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly and Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis are even more brilliant style icons, but that's another topic altogether). Obviously this is a superfluous aspect of Diana and one that isn't her fault, but I'd rather the press focus on all her amazing contributions to charity, her children, etc. rather than talk about what a great style icon she was.

 

[Madame Royale]

Who am I to judge a woman who is now dead? I'm of no authority to do so.

A lady of great youth and beauty, Diana was dealt many difficult blows throughout her life and no one but Diana could/can understand what she went through or what she felt

Just my opinion.

 

[Next Star]

I think that she was a great person the only think I did not like was that she was too famous and that the paparazzi would not leave her alone chasing her around every chance that they had to get a picture of her by herself or with her sons William and Harry.

 

[Henri M.]

The late Princess of Wales separated and divorced quite long ago. In fact I can not remember her married life with The Prince of Wales very well, it is just a footnote in history.

 

[sirhon11234]

I disagree

The late Princess of Wales separated and divorced quite long ago. In fact I can not remember her married life with The Prince of Wales very well, it is just a footnote in history.

I dissagree with you. I believe Diana's life was not a footnote in History.

 

[Thomas Parkman]

Well, dear people, Diana and Charles are simply two human beings, faults, virtues and all. What good would it do to dislike either of them. This clining to a dream of the past is just that: a dream. All that we see or have seen is what we see in the newspapers, a questionable source, and television, another questionable source.

Neither of these people are plaster of paris saints, shall we say. Like most of us, they to a large part created their own problems or in their confusions and emotional states and immaturity compounded them.

This is what makes history and people so fascinating and at the same time so sad. Instead of dislike, maybe some kind of appreciation, not necessarily approval because we were not there. And yes may I also suggestion compassion? There but by the Grace of... Cheers.

 

[georgiea]

Who am I to judge a woman who is now dead? I'm of no authority to do so.

A lady of great youth and beauty, Diana was dealt many difficult blows throughout her life and no one but Diana could/can understand what she went through or what she felt.

Just my opinion.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT ABOUT DIANA!!!!

I think she will be remembered in history like other tragic royals. Look at the books still coming out after she died nine years ago.

I think Prince William's wife will stay away from the media. She will not get as close as Diana to the common person. That was why Diana's death was so tragic to the world. The common person thought they knew her personally through all the media attention. So her death was a big blow to them.

 

[Warren]

Please note that we have two Diana opinion threads:

• Reasons for disliking Diana? (this thread); and

• Why do you like Diana? which can be found here.

To avoid the potential for arguments, and to keep things on topic, opinions should be posted in the appropriate thread.

thanks,
Warren
British Forums moderator

 

[princess olga]

Well, dear people, Diana and Charles are simply two human beings, faults, virtues and all. What good would it do to dislike either of them. This clining to a dream of the past is just that: a dream. All that we see or have seen is what we see in the newspapers, a questionable source, and television, another questionable source.

Neither of these people are plaster of paris saints, shall we say. Like most of us, they to a large part created their own problems or in their confusions and emotional states and immaturity compounded them.

This is what makes history and people so fascinating and at the same time so sad. Instead of dislike, maybe some kind of appreciation, not necessarily approval because we were not there. And yes may I also suggestion compassion? There but by the Grace of... Cheers.

Very elquently said, Thomas!

My own two cents..I really really liked Diana and her humane way of looking at the world, until I watched that terrible, woe-is-me, whiny interview she chose to do with that rat of a Bashir. That's the interview she did in 95, the one everyone of her friends warned her against. But Diana didn't listen, went ahead with the interview, spilled all the beans about her unhappy marriage and clandestine affairs to a world audience of millions...for what?

I remember waching it and thinking..imagine if this is your mother. She goes on television, gives a useless interview in which she blasts your father, says he's unfit to do exactly that which he's brought up to do, and goes on ranting about various lovers! I mean, ugh! Poor kids!

I remember thinking, what a terribly, terribly, SELFISH thing to do, because, WHO was she serving with that interview but her self?! From that moment on, I saw her quite in a different light. Still like her irreverence, but her spotlight-seeking seemed an increasing quest for just that: being in the spotlight. These charities were a great tool to keep that spotlight.

I think after her divorce, on some level she must have realized that she was made kindof redundant. I mean, you divorce a prince, and then..what? She became sort of a loose canon indeed. Not nice to say, but true all the same. And then to see how she used Dodi to play around with, meanwhile thinking nothing of leaving his fiancee in heaps of tears, going with him to psychics who of course would confirm their love was just the ticket, etc.
No, toward the end of her life, I thouhght she had become annoying. When she died, I was shocked, but somehow found it a fitting end.

 

[princess olga]

I think Prince William's wife will stay away from the media.

yes, because if anything, the last thing anyone's waiting for is another attention-seeking, look-at-me-and-how-I-suffered interview a la Diana and Martin Bashir. I mean, is it any wonder William is trying to live his life in an as boring way as possible? He's counterbalancing the dramaqueen life of his parents, and I understand that.

She will not get as close as Diana to the common person. That was why Diana's death was so tragic to the world. The common person thought they knew her personally through all the media attention. So her death was a big blow to them.

Thing is, and yes I agree that compared with Diana, some of the BRF members seem cold frogs at best, but all the same I'm not sure that what "the common man" needs is a condescending tap on the head every once in a blue moon by a higher-born individual, whether it's well meant or not. Diana was a lovely person in general, but a socialite all the same. Of course, it's true she managed to draw attention to causes close to her heart, but again, it was a matter of charity, a way to keep a spouse-of, occupied. she did a great job, but I'm not sure she's indispensible--I think shortly before her death, I noticed a lot of Diana fatigue, among people in general.

 

[Toledo]

Reasons for disliking Diana?
Can't think of one except that she should not had married that young. Had she aquired more experience she would have faced what Life threw at her in a very different way.

But sometimes that's easier said than done. If I had the world (and an army of paparrazis) watching every step of my life they way they did her's I would never get out of the house! The moment that she was rumored to be the future wife of the heir was the starting point on the drama for both of them.

 

[Madame Royale]

Reasons for disliking Diana?
Can't think of one except that she should not had married that young. Had she aquired more experience she would have faced what Life threw at her in a very different way.

But sometimes that's easier said than done. If I had the world (and an army of paparrazis) watching every step of my life they way they did her's I would never get out of the house! The moment that she was rumored to be the future wife of the heir was the starting point on the drama for both of them.

So you dislike her for marrying young?

I'm not sure I can make sense of how anyone can dislike someone for marrying at a young age.

No offence intended Toledo

 

[Sister Morphine]

Still like her irreverence, but her spotlight-seeking seemed an increasing quest for just that: being in the spotlight. These charities were a great tool to keep that spotlight.

Not on your life. I feel that Diana was truly devoted to those charities and helped them because she loved helping others. I in no way feel she continued working with them just because it gave her attention or because she wanted attention.


I also dislike her for marrying Charles so young because I felt she was totally and completely inexperienced and had no clue what she was getting into. I'm not saying that marrying young is always a bad thing...my parents married young and they're still going strong 34 years later, but for her......it just wasn't a good idea. Had they dated a few years, gotten to know each other a little better......I think the marriage might have fared a little better.

 

[Roslyn]

Had they dated a few years, gotten to know each other a little better......I think the marriage might have fared a little better.

Had they dated a few years, gotten to know each other a little better, I don't think they ever would have married.

I doubt she would have been able to keep up the charade for a few years. She would have eventually disclosed that far from loving Balmoral she really hated the country life that is so dear to Charles' heart, her sweet facade would have slipped and her needy and demanding personality would have been revealed, and Charles would never have proposed to her.