The Duke and Duchess of Sussex with Oprah I - Pre-interview, Feb-March 2021

[duchessrachel]

Here's an example of how I think she's shooting herself in the foot with this interview. She thinks she sounds reasonable by saying how restricted she was before, versus how liberated she now is to speak for herself. She doesn't sound reasonable at all actually because that's the deal when you become a working member of the BRF. That's the deal. She signed up to those restrictions, that protocol and that system without anyone forcing her. In return for the influential position and the huge privileges, you relinquish your right to voice an unvetted opinion for years until you reach the status of 'National Treasure' or become heir to the throne.

Yes, exactly! She chose to marry into the Royal Family. No one forced her. And, when you marry into the RF, you agree to abide by certain rules. Given the difficulties that Diana and Sarah had, I cannot imagine that those rules were not explained to her. I believe she just thought she could change them, but you don't change a 1000 yr old institution who has been successful because they have abided by those rules.

 

[Biset]

Maybe that will be addressed. Perhaps she did not realize how restrictive it really was until she was in it. Knowing you cant just say whatever whenever is one thing...being handled is a different level.


LaRae

Why is she complaining about it then? Why is she making it seem like they royal family tortured her something? Is it the fault of “the firm” that she didn’t know the rules of the job?

 

[Claire]

I do have to ask with all this overburdening and restrictive handling by her staff how was she able to write letters instructing her friends to release letters to the press and Omid Scobie.
Also the visit by Hillary Clinton, also trips to US for baby showers, tennis tournament were allowed, how?

 

[Claire]

I really don't get it. All the royals are handled, they all lead relatively limited lives. There personal freedom is impinged for their own safety most of the time. - is this an infringement on their human rights.
Is Meghan and Harry's newest charity to Free the royals of the world. Will they were organizing marches and getting Bono and Elton to release a single.

 

[Hallo girl]

Could the handling also be an element of guidance and protection . Meghan was new to the family/firm , new to living in the UK.

 

[Denville]

Could the handling also be an element of guidance and protection . Meghan was new to the family/firm , new to living in the UK.

Perhaps she really doesn't get that all the royals have restricitions... and that the deal/bargain is that you marry into great wealth and a social position.. but you lose your freedom to do "just what you like"..
and I doubt if Oprah really understands the differences and restricions of royal life, so it is not going to be hard hitting type of interview....

 

[poppy7]

I wonder if part of this I I review will be how different the reality is from little girl Princess dreams.

I mean I will drink to that.

 

[Claire]

I think Meghan was expecting a lifestyle of a mega celebrity or uber rich and then realized you are a civil servant living in a drafty castle with low water pressure.

 

[Pranter]

Why is she complaining about it then? Why is she making it seem like they royal family tortured her something? Is it the fault of “the firm” that she didn’t know the rules of the job?

Don't recall her indicating she felt tortured, until we see the actual interview kinda hard to know. I also have not seen her assessing fault to The Firm about not knowing the rules. However knowing something and living it are two separate things.


LaRae

 

[poppy7]

I think Meghan was expecting a lifestyle of a mega celebrity or uber rich and then realized you are a civil servant living in a drafty castle with low water pressure.

Ah in fairness the homes are gorgeous.

But FF kept referring to the smallest of Harry's house in Kensington.

I think she didn't realise that they are like as a family, laid back and outdoorsy but the job aspect is highly controlled.

They spent exactly complement who she was.

 

[Alison H]

From the BBC website:


"So, as an adult who lived a really independent life to then go into this construct that is different than I think what people imagine it to be, it's really liberating to be able to have the right and the privilege in some ways to be able to say, yes, I'm ready to talk, to say it to yourself.



"To be able to just make a choice on your own and to be able to speak for yourself."


I'm not sure what she hopes to achieve by saying this. A lot of people are in this position: because of your job, you have to be careful what you say in public. And I find it very hard to believe that she didn't understand that a member of the Royal Family can't just say whatever they want. I can quite see that it must be difficult to move from an independent lifestyle to that sort of lifestyle, but, if she didn't want to do that, then she should have either ended her relationship with Harry, as Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas did, or else told Harry that he was going to have to choose between the Royal Family and her.


If you start dating a senior member of the Royal Family, this is what you're letting yourself in for. Unless you're either very stupid or you've been living on Mars, neither of which apply to Meghan, you must know that. It's not very fair to join any sort of institution and then start complaining that you didn't want to abide by its rules and systems.


On a more basic level, it's like taking a job which requires you to work evenings and weekends, and then complaining that it's very difficult to do that when you're used to working 9-5, and that you want your evenings and weekends free. You took the job.

 

[acdc1]

From the BBC website:


"So, as an adult who lived a really independent life to then go into this construct that is different than I think what people imagine it to be, it's really liberating to be able to have the right and the privilege in some ways to be able to say, yes, I'm ready to talk, to say it to yourself.



"To be able to just make a choice on your own and to be able to speak for yourself."


I'm not sure what she hopes to achieve by saying this. A lot of people are in this position: because of your job, you have to be careful what you say in public. And I find it very hard to believe that she didn't understand that a member of the Royal Family can't just say whatever they want. I can quite see that it must be difficult to move from an independent lifestyle to that sort of lifestyle, but, if she didn't want to do that, then she should have either ended her relationship with Harry, as Chelsy Davy and Cressida Bonas did, or else told Harry that he was going to have to choose between the Royal Family and her. If you start dating a senior member of the Royal Family, this is what you're letting yourself in for. Unless you're either very stupid or you've been living on Mars, neither of which apply to Meghan, you must know that. It's not very fair to join any sort of institution and then start complaining that you didn't want to abide by its rules and systems.

You really hit the nail on the head. All of this demonstrates that she was either extremely unprepared for the role she was coming into OR she knew what would be required but somehow thought she would be exempt to the rule or that she would come in and single-handedly modernize the monarchy to change it to be more open. Speaking her truth is obviously something that is very, very important to her, but she should have known she wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. Either you accept that it’s something you’ll have to give up OR it’s a dealbreaker and you walk away.

 

[RoyalNight]

IMO Meghan didn't have enough time to observe and get to know the Firm. Most of their relationship she lived in Canada. With time difference and busy schedules during calls or being together H&M focused on each other. There probably wasn't enough time for Harry to talk about everyday work-life in the Palace.
To compare, Kate got years of second-hand experience of being a royal and reality of workng with palace staff. Not to mention being somebody's boss. It's much different than being an emploee or an actress on set.



Meghan was not prepared enough and didn't ease into her new role. She jumped right in.

 

[Mbruno]

Another clip. I am not sure if it has been posted yet.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-56293793

 

[acdc1]

IMO Meghan didn't have enough time to observe and get to know the Firm. Most of their relationship she lived in Canada. With time difference and busy schedules during calls or being together H&M focused on each other. There probably wasn't enough time for Harry to talk about everyday work-life in the Palace.
To compare, Kate got years of second-hand experience of being a royal and reality of workng with palace staff. Not to mention being somebody's boss. It's much different than being an emploee or an actress on set.



Meghan was not prepared enough and didn't ease into her new role. She jumped right in.

From the beginning I felt like she needed more time in a “pre-Royal” phase: moving to the UK and living there for a year or two before getting married to get used to the cultural shift and discovering if she even liked living in the UK (I think a big part of them leaving was that Meghan didn’t like living in the UK and didn’t really seem to mesh with Harry’s circle of friends and never seemed to form a close circle of friends of her own who were solely based in Britain) , or even taking a few years to ease into the full-time royal role. She went through a lot of major life changes in a short period of time. Within one year she moved countries, got married, got pregnant, and had a baby, which is all a lot in and of itself without even factoring in immediately jumping in as a full-time working royal. If you look at Kate, she had 8 years of being a royal girlfriend and then years after they were married to ease into the royal role, marriage, motherhood, etc. before being a full-time royal. I don’t think anyone would have begrudged Meghan if she had wanted to wait, but in the engagement interview she said it was her decision to jump right in and that she was excited to hit the ground running.

 

[Claire]

I am sorry - if this is the unbearable situation, she is pulling at straws. Many many people will happily trade their civil liberties to have an inch of what the royals have.
And as far as the preparation goes - she was the most trained princess in history, not a cost was spared or lesson not given. The only thing that could have gone wrong was Harry did not give the correct information or any information. Again a longer engagement or dating situation would have avoided that. And if that was the case - I would firmly unequivocally blame Harry.

 

[Hallo girl]

Listening to the clip IMO the actress and drama came into it about , people in the room listening when she was trying to speak to Oprah on the phone. All very dramatic I am hoping that in the fuller piece she says she realises they were there to help and shield her from the media.
Harry issued statements asking for privacy but she wanted to do an interview with Oprah. The alarm bells must have been ringing.

 

[Nico]

I think Meghan was expecting a lifestyle of a mega celebrity or uber rich and then realized you are a civil servant living in a drafty castle with low water pressure.

Precisely.
The word "civil servant" is really important here, because it is REALLY the case. You don't belong to yourself, you belong to the People and yes, in exchange of an insanely privileged life, paid directly or indirectly by the taxpayer, you have to shut up, carry on and do whatever some bureaucrat decide you have to do.

I mean, that's not a mystery, this is precisely what the Monarchy is all about, what the Queen, Charles, Anne etc have done all their lives.
Of course this is not everyone's cup of tea, but at least when you sign for it, you know what to expect !

So i find rather extraordinary, to say the least, that now the duchess of Sussex is somewhat complaining that she felt constrained, unable to speak for herself, unable to be "free". But Darling, you were not supposed to do that ! It's a Monarchy, not a course of personal development.

How many girlfriends, potential wives etc left because they perfectly knew, because it's common knowledge, that the Royal life is all about duty, duty, duty with almost no room for maneuver. But Meghan, who is not stupid, seems to have discovered that almost by surprise. It doesn't make any kind of sense !

From day one i thought it would be very difficult for her to adjust, because, precisely, she would have to tone down from her previous life.

But now, she seems to act like an employee who is complaining afterwards about the terms of the contract she signed for, in full knowledge. That's a bit rich.

 

[Denville]

Listening to the clip IMO the actress and drama came into it about , people in the room listening when she was trying to speak to Oprah on the phone. All very dramatic I am hoping that in the fuller piece she says she realises they were there to help and shield her from the media.
Harry issued statements asking for privacy but she wanted to do an interview with Oprah. The alarm bells must have been ringing.

I thought that it said she couldn't have a personal conversation with Oprah? But that's something different. If she wanted to chat to Oprah... on a friend's level. I can't imagine anyone objecting to that.. but if she wanted to talk to Op about doing an interview.. surely she realised she could not do that.. She wasn't an actress promoting a TV show...

 

[moby]

Another clip. I am not sure if it has been posted yet.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-56293793

As someone who works in the diplomatic world, I find that what she's describing, about not being able to speak and make particular choices on her own--it isn't anything new for people working in government, especially those occupying high positions as public officials. To always have the 'communications team' when one speaks to a media person (in her case, Oprah), that's also nothing new. It's to protect the principal, to make sure there's a witness to things said and to have deniability should the principal be falsely quoted. I find it utterly naive for her to be surprised about all these! This arrangement isn't unique to royal life, it's literally how it is for a LOT of public servants.

Then these particular lines, '"We have the ability to make our own choices in a way that I couldn't have said yes to then," she said. "That wasn't my choice to make."' She married Harry, of course that's a choice she made. Unless, as many have said here, she had zero clue what royal life is like. Now I wish she spent a couple of months reading these forums before she got married, she'd have had a wholistic idea of royalty... ?

 

[Queen Ester]

My reply was more to the point that as a grown adult she should be able to make that decision.

If I (average person in the midwest) can grasp that without being “handled” then so would others, especially a highly educated, experienced woman, having dealt with media and interviews before.... She was not a naive 19/20 year old.

She wanted to change the rules on how BRF operates, but failed and bailed

 

[Hallo girl]

She wanted to change the rules on how BRF operates, but failed and bailed

The sad thing is that in time and handled properly she could have influenced change.

 

[Prinsara]

The other option was she never wanted to change anything and it doesn't matter if she did or didn't know the regulations; just get the prince, the title, the fame, and then leave once it no longer suited her. :/

 

[Heavs]

You aren't free to say exactly what you think in Hollywood either, let alone as a civil servant in general. That's why actors have a whole team of people making sure they're on brand and people get fired from TV shows and movies for saying or doing the wrong thing.

Given how this is exactly why at least one of Harry's previous relationships is supposed to have ended it seems extraordinary that he didn't explain exactly what life would be like. Either he did and she assured him she could handle it or change it, he did and she lied saying she was okay with that or he didn't tell her the full truth and she didn't do her own research.

She's not a stupid woman, she could do some research into Kate and realise as a 22 year old she had journalists openly speculating on her virginity, suitability, personality, career choices and her family's history and the Middletons barely said a word and still barely do. Or Bea and Eugenie getting called the ugly step sisters from when they were about 12 and never complaining publicly. Or better yet look at how many times HM actually says what she wants. Basically once a year and even then it's uncontroversial things with her faith and family thrown in.

And they both still want all of the perks without any of the drawbacks.

 

[RoyalNight]

Sometime ago I realized that being wealthy by being royal is the worst kind of wealthy .

You can't buy luxury villa, 10 newest sports cars, no exotic vacation every other month. The most extraordinary jewelery is mostly collecting dust.
Royal life is really limiting and nt that glamorous. No amount of wealth is wroth it, especilly when you can't really use it without being judge by media.
I think Meghan didn't realize there is a huge difference between being a wealthy celebrity and wealthy royal.
She should've read this forum. It's very eyes-opening and "un-glamourizing" royal life.

 

[moby]

I thought that it said she couldn't have a personal conversation with Oprah? But that's something different. If she wanted to chat to Oprah... on a friend's level. I can't imagine anyone objecting to that.. but if she wanted to talk to Op about doing an interview.. surely she realised she could not do that.. She wasn't an actress promoting a TV show...

I found that line to be telling. If she was told/advised/asked not to speak to Oprah alone, the comms team probably knew that Meghan and Oprah were not at all friends and also knew that Oprah had been asking for an interview.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

But that has been the issue from day 1 right? Even with other members of the royal family and the criticism and harassment they received. It was Diana and Catherine...the knives were out for those women marrying into the royal family while the male members seem to get a free pass. Even if the couple did an act- it was always the woman that was criticized. It's all part of the sexist agenda of the press

I don't go off topic but I also don't think this is necessarily true. The knives were not out for Diana when she married into the family. She was almost universally beloved by the media. There were times that she, like the male members of the family, fell into disfavor, but that was rare and was usually tied to her behavior and short lived. Her real problem was the intrusiveness of the press.

Although Meghan generally received glowing media when she first married into the family, she was certainly criticized more than Diana was. But it is a different time. I'm not sure that Diana would have received the loving media she did if she were to marry into the family now. People are less deferential and ruder in some cases.

Moreover, there were times when the media said things that Meghan reasonably found offensive. There were a few outright racist statements, but I truly believe that most offense was caused by thoughtlessness or a lack of understanding rather than hostility.

Unfortunately, I think that Meghan and Harry are making one of Diana's major mistakes, giving interviews about their personal relationships and feelings and then expecting that the media will leave them alone when they want privacy. It's not going to happen. If Meghan and Harry want privacy, they should not give TV interviews or collaborate with friendly writers. It appears they are fine with not having any privacy, as long as the media is positive.

 

[Queen Ester]

Sometime ago I realized that being wealthy by being royal is the worst kind of wealthy .

You can't buy luxury villa, 10 newest sports cars, no exotic vacation every other month. The most extraordinary jewelery is mostly collecting dust.
Royal life is really limiting and nt that glamorous. No amount of wealth is wroth it, especilly when you can't really use it without being judge by media.
I think Meghan didn't realize there is a huge difference between being a wealthy celebrity and wealthy royal.
She should've read this forum. It's very eyes-opening and "un-glamourizing" royal life.

well, now she is a rich celebrity and is still complaining, it's becoming tiresome, I really liked her in the beginning.

 

[Biset]

Sometime ago I realized that being wealthy by being royal is the worst kind of wealthy .

You can't buy luxury villa, 10 newest sports cars, no exotic vacation every other month. The most extraordinary jewelery is mostly collecting dust.
Royal life is really limiting and nt that glamorous. No amount of wealth is wroth it, especilly when you can't really use it without being judge by media.
I think Meghan didn't realize there is a huge difference between being a wealthy celebrity and wealthy royal.
She should've read this forum. It's very eyes-opening and "un-glamourizing" royal life.

This. When she realized they got insanely famous because of the royal family and i’m sure they were offered all these deals even back then, they decided to leave. Honestly, they played this game so well. Just imagine making all these money just by complaining about the things that’s the reason you’re making money

 

[Claire]

I somehow feel this is just the start - is going to do ever talk show, late show in the states - maybe a few in the UK. Got to tell her truth - spread it around.
I mean she has to counter ever single thing in the UK press, on the internet and twitter somehow, to counter all that bullying and negativity of her image. I can image how the Netflix and Spotify account will be.
Today on Spotify I would like to start about how racist it was for Buckingham Palace to make me wear a hat. My special guests with be Ellen and Omid and we will show you how you can also stand up for racism with your refusal to wear head gear.