"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Curbside]

Here’s an excerpt from a BuzzFeed article about the book:

Harry was on vacation at Balmoral Castle with his father and brother when his mother, Princess Diana, was killed in a car accident in Paris.

He said that Charles came into his room in the early morning to break the news. "'They tried, darling boy. I'm afraid she didn't make it,'" he wrote. "These phrases remain in my mind like darts on a board." Despite the devastating news, Harry wrote, "What I do remember with startling clarity is that I didn't cry. Not one tear."

After leaving church that morning, Harry said the family's car pulled over to look at the mementos mourners had left, as the press stood nearby. "I reached for my father's hand, for comfort, then cursed myself, because that gesture set off an explosion of clicks," he said. "I'd given them exactly what they wanted. Emotion. Drama. Pain."

This is only one such encounter with the press that is seared in Harry’s memory.

I appreciate what Charles was trying to do here, but after he told Harry about his mother, Charles left the room.

I have two children, and there is no way I would leave my child like that. I know Charles was probably busy with his own grief and guilt, and preparing to go to Paris to retrieve Diana’s remains. If it were me, however, I would have crawled into bed with my kid and held him until he felt safe enough to cry.

 

[A Tudor]

I'm English and I have no idea why replying "Colourful" resulted in silence. If anything, it was rude of the others not to follow up with "Which bit did you like best?" or something else to draw the newcomer into the conversation.

We would need to get the Princess of Wales's version to understand it fully well the situation. Never gonna happen, that's one of the problems, it's all very one sided.

 

[Curbside]

Anything Harry ever says or writes ever again is suspect as far as I am concerned. If you have to write a paragraph in your own biography that your own recollections don't have to be based in fact or reality, you are ridiculous and shows you have no sense. This position is indefensible and about the most stupid thing I have ever heard. I cannot believe anyone falls for this.

Most of us would not remember all the details of things that have happened to us. Most people don’t keep journals of our lives. Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt to tell our stories?

 

[Hallo girl]

The record book sales are a decent indicator of Harry’s popularity.

He does not characterize his family as evil, not at all. He does find Camilla to be dangerous and he hates the tabloid press. Is there some reason he shouldn’t?

Once again Harry makes statements with no evidence.

I understand his dislike of the press but why is Camilla dangerous. If he was to say that about any other person he would be required to substantiate his claims.

 

[Hallo girl]

Most of us would not remember all the details of things that have happened to us. Most people don’t keep journals of our lives. Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt to tell our stories?

It helps if you get the basic facts correct.

 

[Hallo girl]

I’m English-born and I had the same reaction. What’s so dreadfully shocking and disrespectful about describing the Trooping as ‘colourful’?

Exactly on the face of it nothing, which would suggest there was something else going on. As we only have one side of the conversation we cannot be sure. We also cannot establish the tone of voice or body language.

If Meghan didn't know much about the Trooping of the Colour or the history then the person to blame is her loving husband who did not prepare her, but that appears to be a theme of the relationship.

 

[Prinsara]

I'm English and I have no idea why replying "Colourful" resulted in silence. If anything, it was rude of the others not to follow up with "Which bit did you like best?" or something else to draw the newcomer into the conversation.

Because it's not colorful. It's a giant fairly solemn military review for the sovereign's birthday, not a quaint little sideshow.

It's also called "Trooping the Colour". So replying “Colorful” sounds like you're either trying to be flip, or not thinking about it at all.

It's also an enormous privilege to be invited, and like other people have said, there are numerous polite and thoughtful replies Meghan could have given, or even followed up "Colorful" with, to show enthusiasm, not the reaction the BRF got.

 

[tihkon2]

It helps if you get the basic facts correct.

Exactly. He can tell complete lies and pass it off as "I don't care if it really happened or not. I'm saying it did." That is so far from OK, it's in the next universe. Imagine anyone else saying this about their own biography. "Hmmm, I'll say Prince Harry murders puppies every weekend. I distinctly remember it happening one night when I was coked up out of my mind" and no is supposed to say anything? ?

 

[Curbside]

Once again Harry makes statements with no evidence.

I understand his dislike of the press but why is Camilla dangerous. If he was to say that about any other person he would be required to substantiate his claims.

He does substantiate the claim. For example, the bridesmaids dress debacle was related by William at a dinner he and Kate attended with Charles and Camilla. Harry believes Camilla orchestrated the leak.

 

[kimebear]

Most of us would not remember all the details of things that have happened to us. Most people don’t keep journals of our lives. Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt to tell our stories?

Then you admit that you have a faulty memory (like we all do) when presented with an accurate correction of events. You don't double down and claim that your memory isn't wrong because it's how your brain curates it.

 

[Curryong]

It might suggest the exact opposite. That whatever Meghan replied to the question about the Trooping would be met with silent but implied criticism. Such as ‘Oh Well, is that the best that she can come up with? My first opinion about her was correct, then. I won’t bother.’ Retreat into stony silence.

 

[Curbside]

Because it's not colorful. It's a giant fairly solemn military review for the sovereign's birthday, not a quaint little sideshow.

It's also called "Trooping the Colour". So replying “Colorful” sounds like you're either trying to be flip, or not thinking about it at all.

It's also an enormous privilege to be invited, and like other people have said, there are numerous polite and thoughtful replies Meghan could have given, or even followed up "Colorful" with, to show enthusiasm, not the reaction the BRF got.

As an American, I would have no idea it would be an honor to be invited.

 

[Curbside]

It might suggest the exact opposite. That whatever Meghan replied to the question about the Trooping would be met with silent but implied criticism. Such as ‘Oh Well, is that the best that she can come up with? My first opinion about her was correct, then. I won’t bother.’ Retreat into stony silence.

I’m convinced that a lot of the issues Meghan encountered, for which she was criticized, were simply differences of culture.

 

[Prinsara]

As an American, I would have no idea it would be an honor to be invited.

If you were marrying the Queen's grandson and invited to hang out with the BRF at her official birthday, one hopes that you might.

 

[Hallo girl]

He does substantiate the claim. For example, the bridesmaids dress debacle was related by William at a dinner he and Kate attended with Charles and Camilla. Harry believes Camilla orchestrated the leak.

I am really sorry but you are saying this yourself he believes Camilla orchestrated the leak. That is not evidence. Everything is Harrys opinion nothing is proved.

I read Finding Freedom and the dress story is different with another person blamed for the leak, although not named it is inferred. They obviously had to be careful not to name because if proved incorrect they could be sued.
Do not tell me the book had nothing to do with them we already know from Meghans own words that she forgot to tell the court that she had co-operated with that book.
I rest my case and withdraw from the conversation as we are going round in circles as usual but it does conveniently move us away from some really serious and vile stuff that Harry has in his book. Or worse get the thread closed and we do not want that to happen.

 

[Curbside]

Exactly on the face of it nothing, which would suggest there was something else going on. As we only have one side of the conversation we cannot be sure. We also cannot establish the tone of voice or body language.

If Meghan didn't know much about the Trooping of the Colour or the history then the person to blame is her loving husband who did not prepare her, but that appears to be a theme of the relationship.

We’ve had one side of the story for so long. People have accepted that version without giving it another thought. At least now Harry has told his truth, for better or worse.

 

[Curryong]

Meghan is being criticised for a one word answer that is being judged as being ‘disrespectful! And here was a woman encountering a completely new way of like, a new culture, a new and very important family in a new land. I don’t know how I would have coped.

 

[Curbside]

If you were marrying the Queen's grandson and invited to hang out with the BRF at her official birthday, one hopes that you might.

Why wouldn’t you be invited to your husband’s grandmother’s birthday celebration?

 

[Queen Claude]

Once again Harry makes statements with no evidence.

I understand his dislike of the press but why is Camilla dangerous. If he was to say that about any other person he would be required to substantiate his claims.

Harry did substantiate the claim in interviews and presumably the book. His assertion is that Camilla was / is dangerous because she has forged relationships with the media with her motive for doing so to rehabilitate her image, and as part of that effort, he and other members of the royal family have been "sacrificed".

Of course there are those who may disagree with him but he did give his reasoning for the characterization.

 

[kimebear]

We’ve had one side of the story for so long. People have accepted that version without giving it another thought. At least now Harry has told his truth, for better or worse.

No. Harry has told his version of the story. Whether it is the truth or not remains to be seen. This is just word play.

 

[Prinsara]

Why wouldn’t you be invited to your husband’s grandmother’s birthday celebration?

Because 'Your husband's grandmother's birthday celebration' could be in a three-room flat with tea or at Pizza Express. The official public birthday celebration of the sovereign of the United Kingdom is a little more than that.

Are you saying if Meghan had ever made it to a state dinner with jewels and a tiara on her head, any impolite or indiscreet remarks she made would have been excused by "I thought it was just dinner with his grandmother and guests, I'm American, how would I know?"

If you really don't know what royal protocol and ceremony are, I wonder why this dude Harry fascinates you so much.

 

[Erin9]

Most of us would not remember all the details of things that have happened to us. Most people don’t keep journals of our lives. Does that mean we shouldn’t attempt to tell our stories?

I think when you’re revealing private conversations,behavior and complaining about your family- your memory had best be very good imo.

Though to me- doing this period is a bad idea. It’s not going to fix things with your family and will undoubtedly make things worse.

I find it sad for William how many times Harry inserts him into stories that are none of his business to tell. How William felt about Charles marrying Camilla comes quickly to mind. Harry could have talked about HIS feelings and left William out. But he didn’t do that.

 

[Lilyflo]

Because it's not colorful. It's a giant fairly solemn military review for the sovereign's birthday, not a quaint little sideshow.

It's also called "Trooping the Colour". So replying “Colorful” sounds like you're either trying to be flip, or not thinking about it at all.

It's also an enormous privilege to be invited, and like other people have said, there are numerous polite and thoughtful replies Meghan could have given, or even followed up "Colorful" with, to show enthusiasm, not the reaction the BRF got.

Well it is quite colourful. I've seen it plenty of times on TV and at Horse Guards. I think this excerpt is a non-story to be honest because we have no idea what else was said, how people reacted, who was smiling and who wasn't etc.

 

[Iluvbertie]

As an American, I would have no idea it would be an honor to be invited.

So you don't think it would be an honour to be invited to the official ceremonies for a HEAD of STATE anywhere?

Common sense would tell most people, regardless of nationality, that being in the front row for such an event would be an honour.

This isn't just some little old lady's birthday celebration but the nation celebrating their HEAD of STATE's birthday i.e. the equal in position to the President of the USA and someone who has had that position for approaching 70 years by 2018.

This was an event that people, from the US, among other nations travel to see every year. I have been in the crowd and around me were Japanese, Americans, Aussies, Brits and Kiwis. We all understood the significance of what we were seeing even if we didn't get all of 'it' - we understood it was a birthday celebration for a Head of State and all wished we could have had front row seats and to be in the presence of the 'birthday girl' herself for such an occasion.

 

[Erin9]

The laughing at the disabled teacher I don’t recall reading. I can’t comment on it. But to know my dad had an awkward “first time” experience…I would find that amusing.

I’d be mortified. Not info I want or need. Lili and Archie might not want to know all that personal info. They might not want their friends to know. Who knows what they’ll say? Kids can be cruel.

But I don’t get the impression Harry or Meghan really think about what their kids might think about their complaints, over- sharing, etc when they are old enough to have an opinion.

 

[_Heather_]

I’m convinced that a lot of the issues Meghan encountered, for which she was criticized, were simply differences of culture.

This has been the excuse being floated by Meghan and her supporters for years now but honestly, it doesn't hold a lot of water. I'll agree that there might be some things that would simply have been a culture difference but so much of what has been blamed on culture differences really is just rudeness or indifference. I'm American and neither I nor anyone I know are buying the "it's because I'm American" excuse. This is especially true in the case of someone who likes to tell us that she has a degree from Northwestern in International Relations.

 

[Queen Claude]

To me the "judging" of the Trooping of the Colour story can go both ways. Meghan could have been being flippant and disrespectful or could have just made a benign observation. At the same time, "stony silence" can be in the eye of the beholder as well.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

Here’s an excerpt from a BuzzFeed article about the book:

Harry was on vacation at Balmoral Castle with his father and brother when his mother, Princess Diana, was killed in a car accident in Paris.

He said that Charles came into his room in the early morning to break the news. "'They tried, darling boy. I'm afraid she didn't make it,'" he wrote. "These phrases remain in my mind like darts on a board." Despite the devastating news, Harry wrote, "What I do remember with startling clarity is that I didn't cry. Not one tear."

After leaving church that morning, Harry said the family's car pulled over to look at the mementos mourners had left, as the press stood nearby. "I reached for my father's hand, for comfort, then cursed myself, because that gesture set off an explosion of clicks," he said. "I'd given them exactly what they wanted. Emotion. Drama. Pain."

This is only one such encounter with the press that is seared in Harry’s memory.

I appreciate what Charles was trying to do here, but after he told Harry about his mother, Charles left the room.

I have two children, and there is no way I would leave my child like that. I know Charles was probably busy with his own grief and guilt, and preparing to go to Paris to retrieve Diana’s remains. If it were me, however, I would have crawled into bed with my kid and held him until he felt safe enough to cry.

Oh well, what happened happened. Everyone grieves differently and Harry was in his room not outside the premises, so he could have cried his eyes out if he felt like it.

 

[_Heather_]

Well it is quite colourful. I've seen it plenty of times on TV and at Horse Guards. I think this excerpt is a non-story to be honest because we have no idea what else was said, how people reacted, who was smiling and who wasn't etc.

But if we are to believe Harry and "his truth" then we do, actually, know how people reacted. And since we're to believe that "Harry's truth" is THE truth about everything and everyone else, why not this, too? He put this piece of information out there for the world. To the best of my knowledge this had never before been shared with the world, had never been a headline, wasn't known by the media. He shared this. He chose to tell the world. And he chose to tell the world in such a way that it made his wife look quite rude, flippant, and dismissive. Had he wanted her to look any other way he could have and, I suspect, would have embellished the story, told it another way, or simply left it out altogether. As it is, if we're believing Harry, we have to believe that we do know the mood both before and after the comment and how people reacted.

 

[SirGyamfi1]

He does substantiate the claim. For example, the bridesmaids dress debacle was related by William at a dinner he and Kate attended with Charles and Camilla. Harry believes Camilla orchestrated the leak.

Camilla wasn’t even there and I doubt she cared about such a petty thing to go and “leak” this. If you don’t have evidence or justifiable reason why she would leak the bridesmaid situation, then it’s just your assumption and pure speculation because she has nothing to gain from leaking.