Live from Las Vegas
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By Howard R. Knowles
19. december 2002 Print Article (IE & NS 4+)
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I commented a few weeks ago about how much I despised smokers. The reaction has been generally positive, with the majority agreeing that yes, Denmark is a couple of light-years behind the rest of the world in smoking etiquette. There was one particular vitriolic e-mail from Mr Angry Smoker in Canada which deserves a response, but he's probably on an iron lung by now, so what the hell, it's Christmas - let bygones be bygones.
A particularly interesting e-mail came from Mr Ernst Joost, owner of 'Cigarettes Plus Cigars' in Las Vegas, USA. Ernst has been mentioned in the Danish press before because of a giant portrait of the patron saint of smokers, Queen Margrethe, hanging in his store. He said he hadn't appreciated my disparaging references about our forty-a-day monarch and that she deserved a little more respect, so I gave him a call.
Did he still display the portrait of the Queen?
'Sure do. She's right up there between posters of JFK, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, all puffing away.'
I was tempted to ask if this indicated a connection between smoking and getting shot, but Ernst was busy lobbing cigars over the counter.
How had he come up with the idea to use the Queens image?
'She's renowned in our business. She smokes those extra-strong Greek cigarettes. None of this light crap. She's a cult, an icon, a spunky lady.'
I asked Ernst what he thought about Queen Margrethe being the official protector of the Danish Cancer Society, to which he replied, 'People are gullible.' I didn't quite understand that.
Ernst has an interesting theory about smokers. He says that it can't be purely coincidental that the fascists and aggressors during the Second World War, Hitler, Mussolini and Franco, were non-smokers, whilst the peacemakers, Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin were chain-smokers.
I was going to make some stupid comment about Joe Stalin massacring about the same number of people who die of cancer every year, but Ernst had that disarming American way of being extremely positive about everything.
'Denmark's a great little country, you shouldn't knock it. Danes are very health conscious, so they must know what they're doing,' he said. 'I'll be over in Copenhagen next summer.'
I promised to show him round and hopefully point out a couple of health-conscious Danes.
New Year's Eve in this country always seems to develop into a game of psychological warfare
It's usually around the beginning of December, when the first tentative enquiry is dropped subtly into the conversation.
'We don't know what we're doing this New Year's Eve' - which actually translates into, 'We haven't been invited anywhere yet but we need something to fall back on. What about you?' (Anyone breaching the matter earlier than December 1st is obviously sending a message that he or she is a New Years Eve loser and has to be avoided like the plague.)
This is usually met by 'We haven't decided yet either' meaning we want to keep all our options open, but would preferably like to avoid last year's eight hours of mind-numbing boredom with you and your alcoholic neighbour.
Around the middle of the month, those who still haven't got fixed up try again. 'So what are you doing New Year's Eve then? (The emphasis on the you can lead one to believe that they have in fact now got some deal in place.) Optimistic that a better offer will crop up, this often prompts the first lie to be told.
'We've been invited to Jacks/Jørgens/Karens/whoever, but its so far away/they're so boring/we haven't made up our minds yet,’
With less than 14 days to go, one of the sides always weakens. 'We're having a quiet New Year this year,' to which the reply is invariably, 'So are we, why don't we get together?'
It's always a sad sight to see four middle-aged people in party hats drinking cheap champagne, but at least on the first of January the trauma is over - for another 11 months.
A Happy New year to you all - except that guy in Canada.
FROM: The Copenhagen Post online
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By Howard R. Knowles
19. december 2002 Print Article (IE & NS 4+)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I commented a few weeks ago about how much I despised smokers. The reaction has been generally positive, with the majority agreeing that yes, Denmark is a couple of light-years behind the rest of the world in smoking etiquette. There was one particular vitriolic e-mail from Mr Angry Smoker in Canada which deserves a response, but he's probably on an iron lung by now, so what the hell, it's Christmas - let bygones be bygones.
A particularly interesting e-mail came from Mr Ernst Joost, owner of 'Cigarettes Plus Cigars' in Las Vegas, USA. Ernst has been mentioned in the Danish press before because of a giant portrait of the patron saint of smokers, Queen Margrethe, hanging in his store. He said he hadn't appreciated my disparaging references about our forty-a-day monarch and that she deserved a little more respect, so I gave him a call.
Did he still display the portrait of the Queen?
'Sure do. She's right up there between posters of JFK, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, all puffing away.'
I was tempted to ask if this indicated a connection between smoking and getting shot, but Ernst was busy lobbing cigars over the counter.
How had he come up with the idea to use the Queens image?
'She's renowned in our business. She smokes those extra-strong Greek cigarettes. None of this light crap. She's a cult, an icon, a spunky lady.'
I asked Ernst what he thought about Queen Margrethe being the official protector of the Danish Cancer Society, to which he replied, 'People are gullible.' I didn't quite understand that.
Ernst has an interesting theory about smokers. He says that it can't be purely coincidental that the fascists and aggressors during the Second World War, Hitler, Mussolini and Franco, were non-smokers, whilst the peacemakers, Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin were chain-smokers.
I was going to make some stupid comment about Joe Stalin massacring about the same number of people who die of cancer every year, but Ernst had that disarming American way of being extremely positive about everything.
'Denmark's a great little country, you shouldn't knock it. Danes are very health conscious, so they must know what they're doing,' he said. 'I'll be over in Copenhagen next summer.'
I promised to show him round and hopefully point out a couple of health-conscious Danes.
New Year's Eve in this country always seems to develop into a game of psychological warfare
It's usually around the beginning of December, when the first tentative enquiry is dropped subtly into the conversation.
'We don't know what we're doing this New Year's Eve' - which actually translates into, 'We haven't been invited anywhere yet but we need something to fall back on. What about you?' (Anyone breaching the matter earlier than December 1st is obviously sending a message that he or she is a New Years Eve loser and has to be avoided like the plague.)
This is usually met by 'We haven't decided yet either' meaning we want to keep all our options open, but would preferably like to avoid last year's eight hours of mind-numbing boredom with you and your alcoholic neighbour.
Around the middle of the month, those who still haven't got fixed up try again. 'So what are you doing New Year's Eve then? (The emphasis on the you can lead one to believe that they have in fact now got some deal in place.) Optimistic that a better offer will crop up, this often prompts the first lie to be told.
'We've been invited to Jacks/Jørgens/Karens/whoever, but its so far away/they're so boring/we haven't made up our minds yet,’
With less than 14 days to go, one of the sides always weakens. 'We're having a quiet New Year this year,' to which the reply is invariably, 'So are we, why don't we get together?'
It's always a sad sight to see four middle-aged people in party hats drinking cheap champagne, but at least on the first of January the trauma is over - for another 11 months.
A Happy New year to you all - except that guy in Canada.
FROM: The Copenhagen Post online
. Does anyone know for certain?
:x :x Hi Kelly D! Okay, I am speechless at this point. That is just horrible. I wonder why she did that? I gues that Her Majesty seriously didn't give a thought as to how it would appear and the backlash of it all. 
