To me what was substantially more off-putting is that the incident was leaked to a Canadian gossip blogger who then reported it as a thinly veiled blind item (
link).
Both Harry and William are known to have trust issues. William, and I think Harry but I am not 100% sure, would give false information to new people as a test to see if the information would end up in the media. If information got leaked, then that person got cut off.
The fact that an incident involving Meghan and Kate ended up in the media not long after they were introduced would understandably set the stage for the relationship, not only the relationship between Meghan and Kate but also the relationship between Meghan and Kate's distrustful and guarded husband.
I cannot believe the fact that this incident between Kate and Meghan ended up in the press escaped notice, and wish that the fall out from it was addressed in the book.
ETA:
I started drafting this comment and then stepped away and see that
yukari posted a very thorough breakdown of the incident and the fact that it was leaked.