"Spare" memoir by the Duke of Sussex (2023)

[Curbside]

And all of the perks and privileges while either doing none of the work or getting money from any shady outside contributor?

I'm pretty sure Andrew proved just how bad an idea "freedom and support" was.

Charles gave Camilla’s children trust funds. Maybe children of the monarch should have some similar arrangement. Doing something to prepare the kids for meaningful careers seems like a great idea.

 

[yukari]

And did Sir Edward ‘advise’ the Queen that her diary was so full up that she couldn’t spare any time for Harry when he rang her up and asked to see her? She had agreed to see him straight away on the phone but somehow ‘forgot’ the week or two’s engagements that had been pencilled in when he questioned her later on it.

I think it's possible.
My manager is 5 decades younger than the Queen (so no excuse of memory regression due to age), and often he cancelled my agreed upon appointment for job briefing/de-briefing after his secretary remind him that he has other appointments. It's why they have PA/secretary, to maintain their diary, remind them of their appointment because they might have more important things to think about other than what appointment I have at 1pm.

I wonder how the firm’s motto, ‘Never apologize, never explain’, has hurt this family’s ability to remain close? If Charles never made amends to his sons for abandoning their mother; if Camilla never expressed regret for the heartaches she had caused; if the brothers never begged forgiveness for their offenses to one another…No wonder all are at an impasse.

I’m pretty sure most families have serious disagreements from time to time. Mine certainly has, but we have made amends and apologized when we could, and we haven’t continued to carry a big ol’ bag of grievances and hurt feelings with us through life; we still speak, and visit, and enjoy each other’s company. Maybe the counseling which Harry and Meghan suggested would have been a good place to start.

Who's to know that those conversations hadn't already happened in private. I remember Harry was asked what he felt about Camilla few years ago and he happily answered with happy face. I don't think he's acting, he's not a good actor considering he couldn't even bother to fake a smile during the tour or remove his scowl the last when he's in UN for Mandela-related speech.

Note: I'm not a fan of Camilla and Charles. Infidelity is a no-no for me no matter the reason.

 

[HRHHermione]

The thread has been reopened. Several off topic posts have been removed. Please keep discussion focused on the book.

 

[camelot23ca]

This is one of the biggest take aways from the book. Harry has been obsessively tracking his own press for a long time. He has feelings about specific reporters and photographers and thoughts about them. He remembers things they said decades ago even when the thing wasn't harmless in and of itself. Multiple people tried to talk to him about this, from a therapist who told him he was addicted to it and to his father and brother who told him many times to stop reading the press. He says that they are hypocrites since they read the press themselves, but they don't seem as unbearably haunted by it.

His focus on the press isn’t normal or healthy. Charles may not have been a great father in many ways but in the book it’s him, and to a lesser extent William, who consistently offers the most sensible, well meaning and humane advice: don’t read your own press. Harry sees this as evidence that his family won’t stand up for him, or even that they’re in league with the press against him, but Charles is spot on when he tells Harry that the press isn’t going anywhere, and yes they’re awful, but you don’t have to read what they write.

Also, after reading the book I get why the BRF would be more willing to correct a story or make a complaint on behalf of William and Kate than they would for Harry and Meghan. Correct one thing for Harry and it would never end - he can’t distinguish between genuinely bad and totally inconsequential and he doesn’t understand that public complaints by the BRF against the media can only be effective if they’re rare.

With that said, the difference between what we thought we knew of Harry ten years ago vs what he’s shown himself to be in the last few years is so big that I suspect he’s the one who’s benefitted the most overall from the Royal Family using whatever influence it has with the press to protect their own.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

The bottom line is you can't pick and choose what aspects of a career/Job you want to do. I can't be a teacher but refuse to do lesson plans yet demand to still be paid a full teacher salary. The main problem here is that Harry wanted to pick when he wanted to be royal and when he didn't. That's not how it works, and when he was told no he has thrown a fit ever since. As someone has pointed out he is not only badmouthing the RF but also Great Britain.

 

[HRHHermione]

His focus on the press isn’t normal or healthy. Charles may not have been a great father in many ways but in the book it’s him, and to a lesser extent William, who consistently offers the most sensible, well meaning and humane advice: don’t read your own press. Harry sees this as evidence that his family won’t stand up for him, or even that they’re in league with the press against him, but Charles is spot on when he tells Harry that the press isn’t going anywhere, and yes they’re awful, but you don’t have to read what they write.



Also, after reading the book I get why the BRF would be more willing to correct a story or make a complaint on behalf of William and Kate than they would for Harry and Meghan. Correct one thing for Harry and it would never end - he can’t distinguish between genuinely bad and totally inconsequential and he doesn’t understand that public complaints by the BRF against the media can only be effective if they’re rare.



With that said, the difference between what we thought we knew of Harry ten years ago vs what he’s shown himself to be in the last few years is so big that I suspect he’s the one who’s benefitted the most overall from the Royal Family using whatever influence it has with the press to protect their own.

This is a good point. For example, he says Meghan was criticized in the press for wearing torn jeans to the Invictus Games, and he feels the palace should have corrected that since they approved her outfit. He doesn’t get that it’s a totally inconsequential thing and that fighting on something that tiny and meaningless would prolong a story no one much cared about anyway.

He wanted full 100% push back on any negative story, no matter how small, and he believed his father and grandmother could order the press around like employees of the royal household. It explains a lot how he got to the place he’s in now.

 

[Magali]

Thanks for the summary Hermione! I was wondering if anything was mentioned about Harry’s graduation in Eton (rumors say he got some ‘help’) and why he chose not to meet his future father in law before the wedding.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

There's one more piece I wanted to cover that the media hasn't picked up on that I found interesting. When Harry and Meghan were still dating and not yet engaged, Meghan spent Thanksgiving in a house belonging to Harry's friend in the U.S. and her mother and father spent Thanksgiving there.

Harry says: "Better yet, her mother and father had been able to sneak in and spend Thanksgiving with her. Her father had brought an armful of tabloids, however, which he inexplicably wanted to talk about. That didn’t go well, and he’d ended up leaving early."

Then, later in the book, Thomas Markle is referred to as a complicated man and Meghan expresses fears related to him. Harry says "In every way, Meg felt, her father would never be able to withstand the psychological pressures that come with being stalked by the press, and that was now happening to him."

To me, this is contradictory. It seems that Thomas Markle may have had concerns or fears or questions early on and that these were dismissed, despite Meghan's knowledge that her father would be vulnerable. That feels like a huge missed opportunity to have frank conversations with her parents and listen to their fears and talk about how to mitigate those. It's not reflected on that way, but that's how it seems to me. It seems like a mistake made by Harry and Meghan that had repercussions down the road.

This whole thing comes across as Harry not to wanting to put in the work. He didn't allow Meghan or her Dad time to adjust and learn and as a result it has become a disaster. She cut tail in less than 2 years and her Dad couldn't walk her down the aisle. How can someone who's lived in that family all his life be so ignorant on how it operates and guide newcomers.

 

[Denville]

H
With that said, the difference between what we thought we knew of Harry ten years ago vs what he’s shown himself to be in the last few years is so big that I suspect he’s the one who’s benefitted the most overall from the Royal Family using whatever influence it has with the press to protect their own.

Yes, I think that anyone can see that Jolly Harry vanished abruptly soon after his marriage and he became Weepy Harry, stormy Harry, and I want to get out of Royal life Harry. so he underwent a very radical change in character or the image he had for several years was largely due to the Palace Press office and his aides making him seem much nicer than he was. Sot honestly he has a bit of a cheek abusing Charles for his PR campaign to make Camilla more popular or accusing the RF in general of cosying up to the Press to get good presss.

 

[HRHHermione]

Thanks for the summary Hermione! I was wondering if anything was mentioned about Harry’s graduation in Eton (rumors say he got some ‘help’) and why he chose not to meet his future father in law before the wedding.

Harry’s graduation from Eton is mentioned. He was devastated by the cheating allegations, which he says are untrue and were proven untrue.

He does not mention why he didn’t meet Thomas Markle before their engagement or wedding, though it’s implied that it’s because Markle lives so far away and also that the disagreement with Meghan at Thanksgiving that I mentioned previously might have contributed.

 

[Alison H]

Could someone who's read the book through tell us what he says about leaving the Army? The impression I always get is that he was happy there, and the usual explanation given is that he left because the only other option he was given was taking a desk job. I'd be interested to know how true that is. If he was so unhappy as a full time working Royal, maybe he'd have done better to stay in the Army.

 

[HRHHermione]

Could someone who's read the book through tell us what he says about leaving the Army? The impression I always get is that he was happy there, and the usual explanation given is that he left because the only other option he was given was taking a desk job. I'd be interested to know how true that is. If he was so unhappy as a full time working Royal, maybe he'd have done better to stay in the Army.

Actually, it wasn’t even a desk job. They explored the option of him becoming a flight instructor and teaching others how to become Apache pilots. He decides he doesn’t want to teach, and thinks it’s time to get out of the army.

It doesn’t go into any great detail, but he always got frustrated by times in the military when he’s in a classroom setting or learning anything formal. He wants to be in battle or not there at all.

Personally, I think he left too soon and he might have gotten to a better place through teaching and training others.

 

[Denville]

Can you imagine Harry learning enough to be able to teach others?

 

[HRHHermione]

Can you imagine Harry learning enough to be able to teach others?

About his specific job in the military? Yes I can. It would be training others to do a job he’d been trained to do. He would have needed to want to do it though, and that’s where it falls apart.

 

[Denville]

About his specific job in the military? Yes I can. It would be training others to do a job he’d been trained to do. He would have needed to want to do it though, and that’s where it falls apart.

I doubt it. It seems to me that he learned as litlte as possible.. about anything. He had to learn something about weaponry and flying, but that's about it. Probalby just enough to do the job with supervision.... It seems form this book that Harry's attitude to anything that he had to learn was DId he really have to do this? he didnt even know that he had to ask for permission to get married and he thought that His family could control the press like they did their servants.

 

[FigTree]

Well teaching isn’t easy and involves having immensely highly developed skills. Whether he had those I don’t know. His problem was that he couldn’t stay still and also that really he probably wasn’t suited to move on. I mean in real life he probably would have had a trade or something. He obviously hates learning.

 

[Muhler]

Actually, it wasn’t even a desk job. They explored the option of him becoming a flight instructor and teaching others how to become Apache pilots. He decides he doesn’t want to teach, and thinks it’s time to get out of the army.

It doesn’t go into any great detail, but he always got frustrated by times in the military when he’s in a classroom setting or learning anything formal. He wants to be in battle or not there at all.

Personally, I think he left too soon and he might have gotten to a better place through teaching and training others.

Was he really an Apache/Longbow (the British name for the helicopter) pilot?
Because he keeps talking about the weapons systems and they are the main task of the weapons operator, while the pilot concentrate on keeping the helicopter out of sight as much as possible, like hovering behind trees, houses and hills - hence the sensor above the rotors. A pilot would be extremely hard pressed flying like that and operate the weapons systems as well.
He specifically refers to being able to use Hellfire missiles to engage a target. And they are under the control of the weapons operator.

The thing about the flechettes also puzzle me a little. They are delivered by bombs or artillery shells, not carried by helicopters, that would be way to big a risk.
So either Harry is here referring to him and his comrades talking about a strike by coalition forces or he took part in illuminating a target for artillery or fighters.

 

[HRHHermione]

Was he really an Apache/Longbow (the British name for the helicopter) pilot?

Because he keeps talking about the weapons systems and they are the main task of the weapons operator, while the pilot concentrate on keeping the helicopter out of sight as much as possible, like hovering behind trees, houses and hills - hence the sensor above the rotors. A pilot would be extremely hard pressed flying like that and operate the weapons systems as well.

He specifically refers to being able to use Hellfire missiles to engage a target. And they are under the control of the weapons operator.



The thing about the flechettes also puzzle me a little. They are delivered by bombs or artillery shells, not carried by helicopters, that would be way to big a risk.

So either Harry is here referring to him and his comrades talking about a strike by coalition forces or he took part in illuminating a target for artillery or fighters.

I am not an expert on the military and so conversation here may be limited by my lack of expertise. My understanding is that he was trained as an Apache pilot, but primarily took the weapons operator role. From what I gathered, both people in the helicopter are trained to fly it and they work as a team. When deployed, he was paired with a more experienced pilot named Dave and Dave was frequently the one flying the helicopter while Harry focused on the weapons, but Harry was also capable of flying it and had received the training to do so.

 

[Erin9]

This is a good point. For example, he says Meghan was criticized in the press for wearing torn jeans to the Invictus Games, and he feels the palace should have corrected that since they approved her outfit. He doesn’t get that it’s a totally inconsequential thing and that fighting on something that tiny and meaningless would prolong a story no one much cared about anyway.

He wanted full 100% push back on any negative story, no matter how small, and he believed his father and grandmother could order the press around like employees of the royal household. It explains a lot how he got to the place he’s in now.

Goodness. He wanted to push back on clothing?!

Harry and Meghan seem to have no capability for discernment. Did no one tell them: pick your battles? Don’t sweat the small stuff?

No wonder staff were miserable. They wanted to push back on EVERY little thing. No wonder things were such a mess if he thought his family had as much control as he’s trying to give them. They obviously don’t. (Some of those “so called objective facts”, I suppose, that he chooses to ignore. Camilla’s hideous press is one example.)

I did read that Charles and William tried to tell him not to read and obsess over the press. A therapist told him it was an issue. Too bad he didn’t (and doesn’t) listen. Even if the RF read the press sometimes- they don’t seem to let it dominate their lives the way the Sussexes do.

It also seems quite apparent to me that they still obsess over the press and try to correct things. Meghan’s podcast alone seemed to demonstrate that. Harry’s book. Thing is- you can’t FORCE people to accept whatever image you want.

 

[Lilyflo]

Well teaching isn’t easy and involves having immensely highly developed skills. Whether he had those I don’t know. His problem was that he couldn’t stay still and also that really he probably wasn’t suited to move on. I mean in real life he probably would have had a trade or something. He obviously hates learning.

I think Harry has demonstrated that he doesn't have the personal skills required for teaching generally and in order to teach people to fly helicopters, you'd have to be at expert pilot level and I don't think Harry reached that point.

Without his immense privileges, I think it's very unlikely he'd have achieved officer level in any of the services so I agree with you that he'd have had to learn a trade, although several of them require proficiency in maths, which I believe (like both his parents) he found difficult.

 

[Erin9]

Actually, it wasn’t even a desk job. They explored the option of him becoming a flight instructor and teaching others how to become Apache pilots. He decides he doesn’t want to teach, and thinks it’s time to get out of the army.

It doesn’t go into any great detail, but he always got frustrated by times in the military when he’s in a classroom setting or learning anything formal. He wants to be in battle or not there at all.

Personally, I think he left too soon and he might have gotten to a better place through teaching and training others.

Interesting. Thanks.

So he had choices beyond a desk job and still opted out.

He didn’t seem to want to do royal work either.

He didn’t like being in a classroom in general.

So what did he/does he want to do? Does he even know?

That being said- for the rest of the world- we don’t always love our jobs, all aspects of our jobs, etc- but bills have to be paid. That’s reality.

 

[Somebody]

Goodness. He wanted to push back on clothing?!

Harry and Meghan seem to have no capability for discernment. Did no one tell them: pick your battles? Don’t sweat the small stuff?

No wonder staff were miserable. They wanted to push back on EVERY little thing. No wonder things were such a mess if he thought his family had as much control as he’s trying to give them. They obviously don’t. (Some of those “so called objective facts”, I suppose, that he chooses to ignore. Camilla’s hideous press is one example.)

I did read that Charles and William tried to tell him not to read and obsess over the press. A therapist told him it was an issue. Too bad he didn’t (and doesn’t) listen. Even if the RF read the press sometimes- they don’t seem to let it dominate their lives the way the Sussexes do.

It also seems quite apparent to me that they still obsess over the press and try to correct things. Meghan’s podcast alone seemed to demonstrate that. Harry’s book. Thing is- you can’t FORCE people to accept whatever image you want.

As well as Harry's admission that the last few days have been miserable. I guess he really thought that now the press would finally understand and be on his side but found out the hard way, it doesn't work like that (but his coping mechanism is blaming it on the Firm - again).

 

[HRHHermione]

As well as Harry's admission that the last few days have been miserable. I guess he really thought that now the press would finally understand and be on his side but found out the hard way, it doesn't work like that (but his coping mechanism is blaming it on the Firm - again).

It really is a strange thing to try to understand. Clearly the Sussex couple does not want to be completely ignored by the press and public. If that were their goal, they would have chosen a much more private path for themselves. They want the public’s focus but they seem to believe that it should be universally positive and within their control and that’s not how it works for anyone.

There was a good opinion piece written by a mental health provider in the Telegraph that states that one of the most important parts of therapy is having a sense of what you want to get out of it and who you want to be on the other side. That seems to be lacking in Harry’s journey.

https://archive.vn/AkV5K

 

[Mbruno]

Can you imagine Harry learning enough to be able to teach others?

Given his combat experience in Afghanistan, he could have been a valuable flight instructor. And, if he had stayed in the Army and been promoted to Major, he could have become a Squadron Commander, I assume.

Was he really an Apache/Longbow (the British name for the helicopter) pilot?
Because he keeps talking about the weapons systems and they are the main task of the weapons operator, while the pilot concentrate on keeping the helicopter out of sight as much as possible, like hovering behind trees, houses and hills - hence the sensor above the rotors. A pilot would be extremely hard pressed flying like that and operate the weapons systems as well.
He specifically refers to being able to use Hellfire missiles to engage a target. And they are under the control of the weapons operator.

The thing about the flechettes also puzzle me a little. They are delivered by bombs or artillery shells, not carried by helicopters, that would be way to big a risk.
So either Harry is here referring to him and his comrades talking about a strike by coalition forces or he took part in illuminating a target for artillery or fighters.

From what I read, he was trained and qualified as a pilot, but, on his second tour in Afghanistan, he served as a "gunner" (technically a weapons systems operator). On his first tour, which was cut short, he was actually an air traffic controller.

 

[HRHHermione]

Given his combat experience in Afghanistan, he could have been a valuable flight instructor. And, if he had stayed in the Army and been promoted to Major, he could have become a Squadron Commander.

This actually reminds me of something else I wanted to post that I found strange. Harry seems to have quite a lot of personal contempt for his squadron commander in Afghanistan.

He writes:

"Every kill was on video. The Apache saw all. The camera in its nose recorded all. So, after every mission, there would be a careful review of that video. Returning to Bastion, we’d walk into the gun tape room, slide the video into a machine, which would project the kill onto wall-mounted plasma TVs. Our squadron commander would press his face against the screens, examining, murmuring—wrinkling his nose. He wasn’t merely looking for errors, this chap, he was hungry for them. He wanted to catch us in a mistake. We called him awful names when he wasn’t around. We came close to calling him those names to his face. Look, whose side are you on? But that was what he wanted. He was trying to provoke us, to get us to say the unspeakable. Why? Jealousy, we decided. It ate him up inside that he’d never pulled a trigger in battle. He’d never attacked the enemy. So he attacked us. Despite his best efforts, he never found anything irregular in any of our kills. I was part of six missions that ended in the taking of human life, and they were all deemed justified by a man who wanted to crucify us. I deemed them the same. What made the squadron commander’s attitude so execrable was this: He was exploiting a real and legitimate fear. A fear we all shared. Afghanistan was a war of mistakes, a war of enormous enormous collateral damage—thousands of innocents killed and maimed, and that always haunted us. So my goal from the day I arrived was never to go to bed doubting that I’d done the right thing, that my targets had been correct, that I was firing on Taliban and only Taliban, no civilians nearby. I wanted to return to Britain with all my limbs, but more, I wanted to go home with my conscience intact. Which meant being aware of what I was doing, and why I was doing it, at all times."

To me, this indicates that Harry did not understand that his squadron commander was not only doing his job, he was looking out for his team by holding them to such high standards that when they got out, they could look back confident that they hadn't made mistakes. He sees it as cruelty. This is a repeated theme, Harry thinking someone is out to get him when it seems clear that person was either doing their job or actively trying to help him.


Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 216-217). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

 

[Ista]

I

There was a good opinion piece written by a mental health provider in the Telegraph that states that one of the most important parts of therapy is having a sense of what you want to get out of it and who you want to be on the other side. That seems to be lacking in Harry’s journey.

https://archive.vn/AkV5K

This is a really excellent, thought provoking opinion piece, and articulates very clearly one of the things that has struck a lot of people watching Harry and Meghan over the last month: what does he want out of all this, ultimately? What would satisfy him? And last and most importantly, is that even attainable?

One of the best points made in the opinion piece is that if your (Harry's) resolution involves other people (Charles and William) in some way changing who they are to accommodate you, ultimately, you're not going to be able to ever come to a state of peace.

Harry doesn't give the impression that he has grasped that yet.

 

[Curbside]

As well as Harry's admission that the last few days have been miserable. I guess he really thought that now the press would finally understand and be on his side but found out the hard way, it doesn't work like that (but his coping mechanism is blaming it on the Firm - again).

The tabloid press will hardly ever tell a true story about H and M. He's not trying to get on the right side of the tabloids, he's telling his own story.

The palace has responded by speaking through the press. I don't think Harry expects the press to be on his side. There's too much money to be made writing antagonistic stories about them. He also realizes that there is no way for him to escape this dynamic.

The tabloids are used to spinning things a certain way. Harry's response is to put out his truth with his name on it. The press don't like that.

 

[Alison H]

Thanks for the information about the Army. So he had the option to train people rather than become a full time working Royal, but chose not to take it.

 

[Mbruno]

This actually reminds me of something else I wanted to post that I found strange. Harry seems to have quite a lot of personal contempt for his squadron commander in Afghanistan.

He writes:

"Every kill was on video. The Apache saw all. The camera in its nose recorded all. So, after every mission, there would be a careful review of that video. Returning to Bastion, we’d walk into the gun tape room, slide the video into a machine, which would project the kill onto wall-mounted plasma TVs. Our squadron commander would press his face against the screens, examining, murmuring—wrinkling his nose. He wasn’t merely looking for errors, this chap, he was hungry for them. He wanted to catch us in a mistake. We called him awful names when he wasn’t around. We came close to calling him those names to his face. Look, whose side are you on? But that was what he wanted. He was trying to provoke us, to get us to say the unspeakable. Why? Jealousy, we decided. It ate him up inside that he’d never pulled a trigger in battle. He’d never attacked the enemy. So he attacked us. Despite his best efforts, he never found anything irregular in any of our kills. I was part of six missions that ended in the taking of human life, and they were all deemed justified by a man who wanted to crucify us. I deemed them the same. What made the squadron commander’s attitude so execrable was this: He was exploiting a real and legitimate fear. A fear we all shared. Afghanistan was a war of mistakes, a war of enormous enormous collateral damage—thousands of innocents killed and maimed, and that always haunted us. So my goal from the day I arrived was never to go to bed doubting that I’d done the right thing, that my targets had been correct, that I was firing on Taliban and only Taliban, no civilians nearby. I wanted to return to Britain with all my limbs, but more, I wanted to go home with my conscience intact. Which meant being aware of what I was doing, and why I was doing it, at all times."

To me, this indicates that Harry did not understand that his squadron commander was not only doing his job, he was looking out for his team by holding them to such high standards that when they got out, they could look back confident that they hadn't made mistakes. He sees it as cruelty. This is a repeated theme, Harry thinking someone is out to get him when it seems clear that person was either doing their job or actively trying to help him.


Harry, The Duke of Sussex, Prince. Spare (p. 216-217). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

What Harry is saying, however, is something that comes up a lot in memoirs and accounts of Afghanistan veterans. Apparently, higher up in the chain of command, there was a big concern in Afghanistan about the rules of engagement and avoiding collateral damage or antagonizing the civilian population. That is understandable at the command level, not only because of the moral standards that are expected of western Armed Forces, but also mostly because of the obvious political context surrounding that particular war. However, not only to the enlisted personnel, but also to junior commissioned officers like lieutenants and captains, sometimes that came across as excessive and as their commanders denying them the adequate means to defend themselves. Many of the most high profile investigations on controversial battles or incidents that led to multiple coalition fatalities or casualties often touched on that subject, at least in the United States.

Harry's situation as a pilot is of course a bit different from that of an infantry man being shot at in the field, but, in the context that I mentioned before, I can understand both Harry's and his commander's points of view.

I am glad that Harry says that his goal, from the day he arrived, was "never to go to bed doubting that he’d done the right thing, that his targets had been correct, that he was firing on Taliban and only Taliban, no civilians nearby". It was his commander's duty, however, to ensure that was the case, not because he doubted Harry's conscience, or was "exploiting" his pilots' "real and legitimate fears", but because it was his command and his responsibility.

 

[tommy100]

Goodness. He wanted to push back on clothing?!

Harry and Meghan seem to have no capability for discernment. Did no one tell them: pick your battles? Don’t sweat the small stuff?

No wonder staff were miserable. They wanted to push back on EVERY little thing. No wonder things were such a mess if he thought his family had as much control as he’s trying to give them. They obviously don’t. (Some of those “so called objective facts”, I suppose, that he chooses to ignore. Camilla’s hideous press is one example.)

I did read that Charles and William tried to tell him not to read and obsess over the press. A therapist told him it was an issue. Too bad he didn’t (and doesn’t) listen. Even if the RF read the press sometimes- they don’t seem to let it dominate their lives the way the Sussexes do.

It also seems quite apparent to me that they still obsess over the press and try to correct things. Meghan’s podcast alone seemed to demonstrate that. Harry’s book. Thing is- you can’t FORCE people to accept whatever image you want.

This was clear for a while - he wanted the Palace to operate as their ongoing commentary machine commenting upon every article or comment made. Completely at odds with what the late Queen had in operation - to her the Communications team was about letting the public and press know what public duties and roles the RF were doing - to inform the public about a public institution and their head of state. Of course there will have been occasions where she may have wanted to get her Communications team to put out statements about hurtful comments aimed at her, Philip or her children and wider family but she rarely if ever did. Those decades of the press making up stories about Philip's affairs being something I'm sure at times she'd have loved to fight back on or those years Anne was derided as sulky and rude. She knew that a) the public are paying for the Communications team so only things that directly affect the Head of State in that role should be commented upon b) the job is too big to actually be done.

The Palace has never gotten into denying stories, why? Simply put - you can't deny them all. The amount of media outlets these days never mind social media mean if you attempt to deny all the false stories you would need a team of 100s. Instead they choose to ignore them all, meaning the public see no comment from stories that have a hint of possibility to them but also those that don't e.g. "Queen sends Camilla to rehab" being one hilarious example. In its own way it plays down the almost true stories by association. The reason Charles and the other members of the RF largely seem to try and ignore stories is because there are so many if you got annoyed by all the false ones you'd ruin your life- some might say exactly what Harry has done on his own way.

No wonder the staff felt burnt out and tensions and emotions were always high if you are being asked to deny comments as insignificant as ripped jeans. It is clear Harry wanted any and all negative comments about Meghan picked up and denied - at best an admirable goal of a husband but its just never going to happen - its too big a job and it would drive everyone mad even trying.

Its interesting to hear people say the media never tell a true story about H&M because in Harry's version of the truth they should be telling the truth all the time because they are being fed negative stories about them by Charles, Camilla and William aren't they? I would say, ironically, Harry's book has shown how often the media actually did get it right - even when many royal watchers thought it couldn't be - the break up of the Household, the fact someone cried at / after the dress fitting, that Harry took drugs. They have told true stories, very many of them. They haven't told very many positive stories, that I will admit.