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Old 05-31-2004, 04:32 PM
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The Mary interview, cont'd

pp 62-65

The Media

- The first time I told my father about Frederik was rigth after our first meeting. But it wasn't like: "Oh, I have met this really wonderful man!" It was more like: "You can't guess, what happened some evenings ago when some friends and I were in a bar, and there were these and those people there." It wasn't actually a secret, that I had met these people. But on the other hand nothing epoch-making had happened. I think my father was a little surprised that we continued our relationship/connection. He was in Oxford and partly in Australia. He was a little worried. He said all the time: "Now, be careful." He didn't want me to be hurt or disappointed. He was a little bit sceptical. In fact I didn't tell him how serious it really had become. This was another mark of my wish to protect myself.

- Naturally my sisters knew about it, but I wouldn't really admit to myself how serious it had become. This I can do now!. I'm joking of course, it was before going to Europe, or else I wouldn't have been able to take this step. It was after Frederik's last visit. When we both felt seriously, that we couldn't be apart anymore. That we had to give it a chance. Be more together and see where it would lead. It could go terribly wrong. Maybe it was only working because we only were together once in a while. It became serious when we decided to take the next step.

- Of course I was conscious that it could be a wrong decision, that everything might come to nothing, But when you are with someone , who makes you happy. When you have so much in common and the relationship is so fine - then you give it a chance. If it suddenly stops, if one has to end it, obviously you'll be down and sad. But my disposition at that time, was to give it a shot and risk the sorrow, rather than not have the experience.

- I lived in Paris. I didn't want to go to Denmark directly, and this was the best for Frederik at that point in time, too. If I had done that, the press would have been on to us immeadiately. They had already found out about it, but it happened two weeks before I left Australia. It must have been november 2001. At that time I knew I was going to Europe. In fact I left two weeks later. A Danish journalist from the tabloids (BB) found out about it somehow. Frederik had left in the morning. At evening I was leaving the building where I work and a nice looking woman approached me. I thougth she was a tourist, who had lost her way, so I stopped and asked: "Can I help you?" Then she said:"We know you are the Crown Prince' girlfriend!" I was stunned. She didn't present herself but asked: "Could we take some pictures?" I said "No thanks, I'm sorry." Pictures were taken, though, on which I looked quite cross! There was a photographer, but I didn't take up a position at all. He had already taken pictures of me without I noticed anything.

- I hadn't discussed with Frederik how to handle a situation like this. Of course it would happen someday, but not in Australia, where nobody recognized him. We could go anywhere and nobody would lift an eyebrow. I was very shocked. And I even couldn't call him on the phone, because he was traveling back to Denmark. I had to wait until he had arrived. He took it very calmly. He said that it was only a question of time before it would happen, and that we had been lucky that it didn't had happened before. There had been writings for some time in the papers that he had a girlfriend in Australia .

- I met only that particular journalist, and I thougth it was a singular happening, not to be repeated. I was so naive. Next day, when I arrived at work, there was photographers all over the place. Australian photographers. And from that moment they followed me around all the time. Wherever I went. If I was jogging, there was suddenly one. If I went to a movie, there was one. To and from work - they were everywhere ... It was the newspapers which printed them. The Australian, The Sidney Morning Herald, and the papers in Melbourne too.

- I felt myself exhibited. I was surprised by the intensisty of it all. I have never been interested in to be at the frontpages in the media. I'm not a "public" kind of person. I tried not to be discovered, when I walked on the street, and always evaded questions. For example they asked if I was going to be in Denmark at Christmas. I could truthfully answer that question NO, as I would be with my father. I just said what felt right. Frederik was very surprised because of the intense media interest in Australia, but I would travel to Paris in a short while. And they couldn't find me anymore.

To be cont'n

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Old 05-31-2004, 04:33 PM
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The Mary interview

pp 65-67

The Media (cont'n)

- I lived in Paris about 5 month. But I was in Denmark a lot. Practically every weekend. I was staying at Amalienborg, but the press didn't precisely know where I was. They only wrote that I was in Denmark. Frederik couldn't travel back and forth as much as I could. In fact I believe they wrote, that I lived here already. But I didn't move to Denmark before august 2002, when I moved into an appartment at Langelinie in september and started a new job.

- I had met one of Frederik's friends, who was a business man in Denmark. He introduced me to what was called Navision. They had use for several coworkers at that time. It was a big enterprise, english speaking, and I could use my experiences in project management. Naturally my professional background was the most important asset for them. But they offered me the kind of flexibility I wanted. I got an insigth knowledge in the Danish job culture. And I got some friends. Learned a lot. I had fun. I think I was very forunate there.

- In the beginning the press was standing right outside my apartment building at Langelinie and kept watch over me. Finally it migth have got too boring! Because nothing happened: I went to work, I came home. Normally quite early, because I rode (on horse) before going to Navision. Well, there wasn't anyone ouside my apartment at 6:30 in the morning! I rode on horseback - I still do -and I will continue to do so.

- Only a few pictures was printed in the papers, one from a time I was here in a weekend and one of us in a car. We took the car in the weekends to different places in the country. One picture from a wedding. It was the first time I did go out with Frederik in this way. He had prepared me for what to expect, that there would be photographers, but not very thoroughly! He is so use to it, that he don't think a lot about it. Now I am better prepared to handle those kind of situations, but I still find it quite unpleasent. As I have sad before I have never like the camera., When I was together with him, I never wanted walk too close to him - I don't rigthly know why - perhaps I didn't want to show too much of myself to outsiders. It felt like kind of akward, and I feel much better to be more in the background. Trying to disappear in the crowd.

- While I was in Paris, I tried to keep my profile as low as possibly. I waited for the point of no return in my life, the thin line which would be crossed, when I would be seen in public together with Frederik. Therefore I always tried to minimize my exposure to the media. I didn't want anyone to know anything about me. Because if all this would appear to be a "fata Morgana"/ a chimera -- I would be able to return to be "Mary" again. In that situation I migth go to London or some place else, where nobody knew me anyway. But all the time the thougth: " When will I reach the point of no return?" was in the back of my mind. Of course I could try to pick up my former life - - most people forget easily. It's like this, that if you read something about yourself, you read it twenty times, while others, who have no relation to you, read it once - and it's forgotten.

- But, Naturally I was afraid that this exposure would change my life in a way, that I never would be able to get out of it again, if necessary. Quite obviously I avoided to answer any questions at all. I have been so lucky to have close friends, who wouldn't talk either. I made sure that they were aware of the the different ways the press could approach them to get information, and I wanted to the cards as close to me as possibly. I didn't say to my family or my friends: "Don't this and that!" It was rather: "Be on watch. This is the way I would try to handle it." I asked them to respect this. But my nearst friends and family could reveal something out of pure naivity. The media are smart -- cunning. And they could easily catch persons without experience in their net. My father and his wife have several times been cited for small deatils, which have been blown out of proportion. They have learned the lesson the "hard way". Now they are just polite.

to be cont'n

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Old 05-31-2004, 04:33 PM
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Mary interview.

The Media (conclusion)

p 68

- Frederik is normally very relaxed with the press - but to introduce me to the public, wasn't a thing he took quite that easily. And I'm absoluty sure that he wasn't very relaxed about it.

- From the moment it came into ligth that Frederik had a sweetheart, that nobody knew about for almost a year, the media had been on their toes! I was like: "they are going to be married next month!" Maybe they thought he would do the same as Prince Joachim did. Perhaps. They were very excited: "Oh - we don't know anything, what are we going to do?" And they never relaxed, and they kept harping on the same theme, that: "Very soon it is going to happen!" It was quite annoying. We hadn't reach that point yet. But we didn't let that influence our decision. We didn't let it pressure us. But after the kiss at the pier in Tasmania, we became more open about our relationship. The kiss had underscored that it was serious. And the media could let out the air and breath again - - they had put money on the right horse! Even if it wasn't totally definite for us, it was a sign, that they were on the right track. Now it was only a matter of time.

- But Frederik and I weren't that far in the proces, as the press. They had already married us. But I didn't dare to let myself believe in it. I knew it was serious at that point in time, but it was a graduate developement, which we still took step by step. And I believe, that at that moment in Tasmania we took another step forward. And we in our minds knew, that from that moment it was a question of "when" rather than "if". But even with that inner knowlegde everything could still change. For kiss or no kiss it could still develope in a wrong direction. Many probably have also experienced it - that the final decision is difficult to make - but naturally it was extra difficult in our special situation.

End of this part.
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:34 PM
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Mary interview book.

p 105-107

Butterflies in the stomach

- The press has written, that right after I had met Frederik, I started on a modelling course (Starmakers), to feel more confident! There wasn't anything calculating or designing by that. Nothing like: making myself ready to handle the situation. Fact is, when I started on that course I hadn't met him at all! BTW the confidence didn't appear, when I three years later - on our engagement day - was to be presented to the Danes on the balcony at Amalienborg.

- I almost can't remember my physical reaction - rather like a gasp - rigth before I went out on the balcony. My friends told me: "Oh, that moment when you almost shuddered, before you went out there!" "Did I really do that?" I thought, because the impressions from that situation appeared almost quite unconscious to me. It wasn't meant as a critism of me. Everybody understood that it was a completely new situation for me, and if I had positioned myself there, as if I could handle it all, and as if I was totally perfect in all ways, then it wouldn't have been true. I simple had to take a deep breath to calm myself. I think most people are able to understand that situation and my reaction to it.

- It was all a question of balance. Two days before the engagement was to be declared I felt tense and nervous. Nothing serious. I just felt like butterflies in my stomach (Thor: Danish metaphor for nervous expectations). The next day - the day before the the engagement - I was like a child before christmas eve, hyperactive and full of energy. Then my dad and his wife Susan arrived, and we had a lovely dinner together in the evening. I went to bed and the next day, when I woke up, I was completely calm, which surprised myself. Now it was only: "Today you are just going to do it!"

- The moment rigth before going into the big press conference, I felt like I rather wouldn't......quite childish! - "I won't!" But there wasn't any escape: I had to do it. And then we stood there, they took their pictures, and there was all that ligth - a sea of ligth - and so many people there. Then the Queen, Prince Henrik and my parents left the room and we could sit down.

- I had decided that I would be the first to take the word. It was a decision I had made with myself, perhaps a fortnight before, and it was my own idea. Naturally I discussed it with the chief of Court - Mr. Per Thornit - and he agreed. There had been a tremendous, build-up expectations in the press, for example that I could speak fluently Danish, but I couldn't. And this would be the first time I said something publicly, and I knew, I had to be the one, who set the agenda, or set the frame for all these expectations. This was the reason why I chose my words, as I did. I'm so happy, I waited until it was more quiet in the hall. Until I could sense that there was enough peace and quiet and they would listen. But the first words almost wouldn't come out of my mouth. Later, when I had started, it went better.
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:35 PM
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The Mary Interview Book.

pp 108-109


- Today, when we sit rigth here - february 17, 2004 9:40 - I'm more than anything else: happy. But happines is a word which difficult to explain. Happines is just a warm feeling. You walk on air. Everything feels good. You look at things in a new light. You don't worry so much. To be happy is probably the most important thing in the whole world. Happines! It sums up how I feel right now, but at the same time I know there's a lot of expectations of me. Many different ones. And you can't fulfill them all. But you have to do the best you can.

- First of all, I'm very absorbed by the wedding - and I'm a little tense about it. Perhaps not so much right now, but I know, that later I will be. In fact I'm curiuos to know, how I'm going to feel about it in the ceremony - you can't know it, before walking down the aisle. That's exactly what I mean by: "Why waste time on thinking: "I'll never going to manage that." No use to think that, because I know I'm going to do it - manage it. And there's so much to do before the wedding, that there's not much time to speculate about the details. There's a lot of practical things to do, which take a lot of time.

- I'm excited about the furture. In the future I have many opportunities to work to could make a difference in many areas.

- In fact you can say it's all a modern fairytale. A fairytale normally is happening in your head, but I could never, ever had imagined this. It's a fairytale for anyone who findes the person they want to spend the rest of your life with, and who plans for a wedding. This is a fairytale for all. My fairytale is just the same, in a larger scale. But the core of what we do is the same, as for every other couple. We remember that every day and this is the most important aspect.

- There is another kind of responsibility, though. Therefore in the course of events leading to the situation, where we are right now, we haven't been able to take things easely. Rigth now I can tell it's a very happy time. Very happy for me, for my family and for Frederik and his family. And for the Danes who are intereted in the Royal Family.

- And we know that we, at the same time, are a kind of role models for a lot of young people. That we are seen as an ideal. This is something we discuss. Something very important. I'm still quite inexperiended, but I know that the media of today will report anything at all. This is the differens between now and the time of Queen Ingrid. Then it was much easier. Then there was a lot of ordinary - daily life things - the royal family could do, without anyone knowing anything about it, because that would have been a breach of trust. Today, if you chose to travel or visit some friends in the quiet, it will be written about in the press, and perhaps critizised. The press feel they have a right to know and watch everything. At the same time there are an expectation to keep the distance between the people and the Royal House. Once in a while this distance is broken down. The Princes have gone to ordinary schools, drafted to military, followed courses at the university on equal footing with their contemporaries. And the Danes love it. The Danish Royal Family has manifested that it has a right and a willingness to do it in this way. To live like that. But there has to be a distance.

To be cont'n
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:35 PM
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Mary interview.

Happiness (cont'n)

pp 110-111

- For us everything will change once we are married. If we are going to travel, we just can't arrive like anybody else. We will be recieved by ambassadors, or whome migth be appropriate in the situation. Or if we are going to have representative tasks abroad. We cannot be discrete and reserved anymore. We have to announce, that we arrive, that we have to go by the protocol, and we have to travel in this professional way.

- For me personally it is a period of great change. I'm still in an unofficial position and can't be seen (in a public function)- sometimes I get letters from people who write: "What are you really doing here?" Well, I work fulltime to prepare myself to my new job, and primarly learning Danish. Those who think that I don't do anything, have to understand that I'm in a kind waiting position, in a no man's land. And if I started to visit hospitals or other institutions I would be critizesed for that! I find my self in a kind of timepocket. But this'll change. And people are going to see me work, that I'm going to carry out variuos jobs. But right now it's: "What she doing?" I have to accept that.

- I have done some serious thinking about my new jobs. I have considered so many things. But I'll going to have some advise about it too. Nothing has yet been discussed, but have expressed my interest for what I find really exciting and stimulating. What type of work I would like to be involved in. But I wont say anything concrete about that right now. Primarly because I have to discuss it with the organizations involved.

- I have never really been deeply involved in politics. Of course there have been areas which have interested me. Right now I read alot about the danish political system, the governement and the organisations. It's necessary that I know who belongs to what party, and I know the differences. The different political points of view. For the first time in my life I enjoy learning about such things.

- I have never before had any political education. You get to know something in the school of course, but I have never studied it. Now I find it really exciting, especially the foreign policy of Denmark. It's something I will cultivate a lot, but naturally not be openly involved in.

- I read a lot of daily newspapers. It's important that I'm fully updated abou twhats happening in the world. To a much higher degree than when I was an ordinary citizen in Australia. It's necessary than I learn about it now, and as a part of my "education" I visited the Premier's office last week, and in this week I visit the Folketing/Parliament to speak with some of the younger members. To see and understand how the political reality works. It's like the start of my introduction to the constuction of the Danish Society, the Governement, Democracy.

- Later comes the trades and industries, where I'm going to meet representatives for the more influential branches in Denmark. Not necessary the biggest but the most important.

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Old 05-31-2004, 04:36 PM
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Mary, the interview book.

Learning Danish

pp 112-114

- Danish is a difficult language. I can only compare it to my own, because I have never learned a foreign language before. Of course I had french in school, but it wasn't anything special. So except for my mother tongue, danish is my first new language. The most difficult is the pronounciation. To me it's a complete different way to make sounds. Nor is it easy to understand at the start because different words and expressions sound alike. It takes time for the ear to learn to be trained to hear danish and understand it. There's many nuances in the language, and there's a lot of expressions and sayings, you just have to learn by root. When I hear them for the first time, their meaning isn't clear to me.

- But, rigth now it's very exciting because I understand much more now, and the more you understand the faster you learn. Thats good because now I can watch a danish movie and understand it. If there is texting it makes me very happy, but it's still difficult, because of the different danish dialects.

- It's easiest for me to read or write it. Probably because I learn faster when I visualise it. If you say a new word to me, I prefare to know how to spell it. Then I can create a picture of that word in my mind.

- It's interesting to understand the language, because in this way you understands the culture too, about humour, and you get a much deeper insight in the mentality of the Danes. I know now that Australian and Danish humour are very much alike, thus I can grasp humour in the danish language and this is nice. The two languages is kind of similar in a small way - on many areas there are great differences, though - but I am able to explain things in the same way as i would have done in english. If I want to tell about something I can almost translate directly from english to danish, because its expressed in almost the same manner. Many Danes think that they speak very good english, and that's true. Consequently it takes somewhat longer for a foreigner like me to learn to speak danish, beacuse the Danes like so much to speak english, and they shift from danish to english like quicksilver.

- It's still lovely to do a involved conversation in English and it's difficult for me to shift from english to danish, when you know someone really well. This is a situation where it can be difficult to start to speak danish. Frederik and I speak english together, because we got to know each other through that language. But we converse more and more in danish, because it's good for me to practice it. It feels more and more natural for me to speak danish. Sometimes I forget and mix up the two languages a little. If I talk with a friend from Australia for instance, I suddenly may speak danish to her.

- I try to get lessons every day, filling my mind with the danish language. 5 days a week I have Danish lessons or Danish conversation for three hours.

- It's a little more difficult now because I have busy schedule. It's getting harder, but I want to be as good as I can. Bye and bye I can be more spontaneous in Danish, but if get stressed, the language can suddenly disappear. This worries me a bit. Suddenly I don't know what to say. Even if I know what it is, I want to say, I can't. But it's because it is a new language. Everybody who's going to learn a new language, have experiences like that. I can't rememeber if I have had dreams in danish. But at the moment I can't remember my dreams because I'm too tired.

- When we get children, the language at home must be danish. It has to be a mixture rigth from the start, because children are like sponges, they'll soak up everything. They learn so easily, and if they learn it right from the beginning, they'll be good at languages. For instance at the meals, people often talk to each other, and it's where the family life unfolds, so at the table the conversation must be in danish. One can at the same time introduce english, but danish must be the first language, but at the same time they must learn to like english.

to be cont'n
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:39 PM
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Learning Danish (cont'd)

pp 115-117

- I use many different methods to learn danish. F.ex. I watch the danish TV-serie "Matador" (Thor: About life in a provincial danish town between the two great wars), and this is a great way to learn the language, the danish history and danish culture. I read many danish books by danish authors and danish history books. The newspaper I read every day. I have two teachers. We go to exhibitions. F.ex, the one about queen's dresses at Rosenborg Castle. We visit art museums. Many different methods. Regarding books I have btw read "The Russian Singer" ( by Leif Davidsen) in an easy reader edition.

- Fundamentally it's important to me to master the language. If you live in a country which has another language than your own, then it's your duty to learn that language. If you want to be a part of that country.

- It's difficult for me to imagine what kind of demands my future role will entail, because it will evolve over time. I knów it will. It will begin like a puzzle, which after some time will create a picture of me as a crown princess ... Kronprinsesse ... it's difficult even to utter that word ...Crown Princess. When I say that about myself - call myself: crown princess - then it feels like it isn't truely me.

- It's a title, but it's what behind the title, which is the important stuff. It's probably why I am unable to see myself, because I haven't yet created or formulated all what's behind the title. I haven't found it's substance yet. Or the functions aren't there yet.

Ninka: "Doesn't it get to be a problem in some connections, to withold your deeper/inner feelings in the future?"

- Yes!

- But it's my problem.

- First of all I have to be the best partner for Frederik. Create and build a strong family. In society of today, a family do a lot of things at the same time. And at the same time I have to represent Denmark, try to create possibilities for danish bussiness, organisations etc. Try to build an interest in Denmark in many ways, in a lot of different ways. And to represent Denmark worldwide for some organization. There's a lot of possibilities. Evidently in the area of social security. Now when I'm standing with my feet at the blocks ready for running, to make the ball roll, I have already made some contacts to people in key positions, so I can start as soon as possibly. But I can't disclose details about this. It's only in it's start, and it will evolve. I can say this much: I'm very intereted in the mental health care system.

- But first of all, my job will be to meet the danish people. Right after wedding ... it's going to be really exciting and probably very rewarding. And hopefully supporting. The pat on the back I felt that first time, on the balcony at Amalienborg - to be given such a response -- I mean, they didn't even know me at all, except for being the chosen of the Crown Prince, whom they love. It has given me some recognition and accept, beforehand. I start with a positive beginning and try to build on that. At some point I'll hope to be recognised as the person I am, as much as the partner of Frederik.

- It's almost - it's just like standing at the end of the springboard - just before the jump. But I won't jump down - I'll jump up! The wheels has turned around for a long time, but now practically everything has been put behind us, it has become past - it's become before. Now we are going to be married, that's the first step. The next is to walk on board in our new life.

- For me the wedding day, will almost be like the day of my engagement. In the sense that my wedding day is the first step into my new role. The engagment day was the day, where I was recognized as an unofficial person, because I still perform unofficialy as a fiancé. But on a somewhat higher level. The day of my wedding is the day, where I seriously start my new job. It's going to be a very special day, because Frederik and I become a couple.
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:39 PM
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pp 118-121


- Marriage - that's love, of course. There are some other cornerstones in a marriage: Trust. Mutual understanding. Respect. This holds in other relations too. Whether a bussines relationship or a relationship based on love. In both cases these cornerstones are essential. Honesty. But in marrigae there's always love. Love must evidently be there. And happiness ... comes as a consequence, not only from the relationship, but from yourself, too. This: to give support. Take the time to listen to each other. It's very important. There's probably more, I have missed. Anyway it has to be fun, too. There must be humour and laughther ... I believe we are in agreement to have a big family, but you never know.

- We see ourselves with children. How many I don't know. It depends on a lot of factors. But I hope we'll get as many as we want. And children can demand exactly the same, as the parents do, of the marriage. Children can ask for love, support, protection, understanding and trust, too, and happiness. There must be an element of disciplin, the best gift you can give your children, is the good and strong values. Children deserve to be heard, and feel that their ideas and opinions will be respected. One should listen to them and try to explain the differences between good and bad. Many times children just get a NO. In this way they never get to understand what's the reason behind the NO. By listening to them, understand them and allow then to ask why - you give them the ability to ask questions like that, later in life, in situations where they have need to ask questions like that, to consider there own values. To be able to evolve as true thinking human beings.

- In marriage children are priority number one. But the percentage of time you use on children depends of both the child itself and a lot of other factors. For some women it's more difficult to have children. They have to use much more time to fit into that role than others, who just take it in their stride, as something they have always been use to. Consequently, the time you use on the child varies a lot. My children will become my family and have priority number one. Now, I am in a situation where I'll get a lot of help. Consequently I'll be able to work as much as possible in time there is left. I'll consider myself to be a working mother, but I'll be a 100 percent mother. My children won't be raised by nannies. Definitely not. On the other hand I am not a clinging, hen-mother type of person - - that may change, of course, when I actually get children myself. Difficult to say.

- As I see my situation today, I wont have any problem by leaving my child an hour or two. Anyway, I'll get much more free time, than most newly fledged mothers have. (Thor's comment: in Australia perhaps. In Denmark new parents have one year paid maternity/paternity leave shared between the two parents).

- And we'll live at Fredensborg Castle. The Kancellihus is quite wonderful. The surroundings are so beautiful and the house has such a nice atmosphere. This is another big project we are involved in at the moment. The redecoration of the Kancellihouse is quite a timeconsuming affair. I relly think it's going to be spectacular. This may surprise some, but we are using quite strong colours on the walls - - it's amazing how well we have worked together. We have chosen all the colours and the furnishing ourselves. And we have agreed on everything. Almost all Danish homes I have seen, have been off-white or very, very light. We are so lucky to have very big rooms, consequently we can use a lot of colours. And we haven't been afraid to use strong colours, except for the official rooms, where the original colours is kept as they were. In these rooms it's important to maintain the original colourscheme. But in the ground floor ther's only two more or less official rooms.

- There's another incredibly aspect in our new roles: The people the family are able to meet! It must be really fascinating to meet a person, you have admired and appreciated. To meet the author of a book, you have read, the composer of a piece of music ,you have heard, or a person who have started an enterprise, or anything. To hear about their thougths and understand how they get their ideas. A sports star - the engagement you feel behind the person who is a top athlete, is incredibly. To hear about what lays behind it all. And I look forward to meet artists, too. Artists lives without the filters in their consciuosnes, and they think much more unhibited than you and me.
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:40 PM
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My Own Role

pp 122-125

- In the three and a half year that have gone, I have learned a lot about myself. I have learned to know my weaknesses. Some of them. There are things, which I probably have realized before I met Frederik, but there is something I have to work with, in a much more concentrated way, because I have been confrontrated with circumstance which affects them. Pessismism, for instance.

- I grew up with a wish to use all the possibilties life offers you, and that includes the worst imagined, too. F.i. if your sports team doesn't reach the finals. You have to prepare for that, how it is, not to win. I have found this difficult, but I have learned.

- I think our dad always has been very protective, he wanted us to be prepared for the worst. And this is a double edged sword, because on one hand it sets limitations, but on the other you are aware of his wish to protect you to be hurt. But you may be hurt anyway.

- One could be tempted to call my dad a pessimist, but he isn't. On the contrary he has his roots in the old conservative virtues, never to let yourself be knocked down. There's a lot of things he had to give up for the sake of his family - possibilities he had to give up, because it meant that his family had to move. He himself had a very challenging childhood. He was raised in a fisherfamily, where they had to take into account, that there wasn't always a haul to sell. They were three children - my father has an elder brother, Peter and a younger sister, Roy - an adventurous childhood. They all went to good schools and my dad and his sister went to university.

- My dad is very knowledgebly and clever, and maybe - and now I'm guessing - his humble attitude towards life, springs from the opposition, life contains, too. F.i. if you apply for a job, he would always have two other possibilties in the hand, not to be dissappointed. In a way this is a kind of optimism, the exact opposite of pessimism. I think it may be connected that way.

- I belive I'm a person with both my feet rooted in the earth. (Thor: metaphor for a common sense personality). But I haven't all the time followed my dad's protective attitude to life, and accordingly I haven't always fulfilled his wishes. If I wasn't completely satisfied in a project, I didn't continue it, just to be polite, it was rather a: "Everything is gonna be fine eventually!" kind of attitude. I had become more optimist. This was something I wanted to work with, even before I met Frederik. And when I met him, then I had to accelerate the process. In a way I have been a challenge to him, because I have been a little reserved all the time. Because I didn't believe, that it could evolve to something. It wasn't because I was a pessismist, but I wanted to protect myself. I'm still walking that road. I haven't reached my destination yet. But I can say : there's a feeling of relief in my life.

- Now, I have learned not to judge myself too harshly. There's a lot of others to do that. It's a part of life - to learn to be comfortably with yourself. This happens probably more unconscious, than conscious. I tell myself that I'm good enough. In a way it is good for a person to work with it. Many people never learn to accept themselves. It's a good thing that I have had to work with a problem, which have been a part of me, probably all my life. The last three and a half year has stressed the areas of my life, I had to work with in these particular circumstances. I and had started the work before I met Frederik. But my encounter with Frederik has enhanced them, and I have had to work harder with them.

- After I have met Frederik, I have to work with another question: "What rigth do I have to be here?" I'm only from a small island - from the other side of the globe. I have no connection with the nobility. My family isn't rich. I'm an ordinary person, with an ordinary background. I have a good education. But still - is it really true, that I have to be here? This have been in my thoughts all this time.

- But today I believe there must be some reason why. The connection between us was like a vulnarably bow, which had to be tautened. A long bow between Frederik and me - from one part of the Earth to the other. From one personal background to another. From one milieu to another, A bow which has to keep unbroken, So, there must be something else in this strange world, who have brougth us together.

- I lean more and more on my destiny -- I must believe in this, and that there must some reason why I'm here.

- Do I deserve to be here? Am I able to go through with it? I have to trust my destiny a little more, because I haven't anything to make comparations with. And it feels rigth to be with Frederik. I have to belive it is the purpose, that we two are together.

- But there are periods in time, when you work with yourself and have thougths about things. There are some people who are completely and fully optimists and belive that they can do anything at all. I'm a positive person, too, even if I sometimes can be in doubt. I think logical, too and have a down to earth attitude towards life. And this could sometimes make me think: No, this isn't possibly!

To be cont'n
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Old 05-31-2004, 04:41 PM
Chatleen's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2004
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My Own Role (Cont'n)

pp 125-129

- It seems to me that Frederik and I have been moving forward all the time. But during this time, there has been crossroads, where we had to realize, that there might appear unexpected circumstances. He migth have gotten a new possibility to go on an expedition to Greenland. And we were both in the situation ,where we could meet others. He might easily meet someone else, who in my eyes, would appear much more fitting in rank. There's a lot of girls with a background, which one would find to be much more rigth for him. Because they was from this and that lineage.

- There is something I have become better at, since my meeting with Frederik: Just to be more open about my feelings. If he does something I find thougthless or not quite rigth, I say something about it immeadiately, instead of holding a grudge. That's so nice. It's nice not to waste time with pent-up frustrations. It's hurting yourself, and at same time, the other might never sense one's state of mind at all. It uses too much energy.

- Then, we speak a lot with each other conserning our worries and about everything else: Might we really do thing that way? And we are very optimistic about the future. It's our hope that it would be perfect, which makes you think a lot about things. If I somewhere, in the course of events, had returned, it had been because I had realized, that it had to stop. Because I didn't truely belived that it could succeed. The only thing I can say about that, is that Frederik surprized me all the time. His thougtfulness. And that he kept contacting me. He gave me the belief in myself. The belief that it could succeed, as it did.

- My own role are primarily to be a loving and loyal support for him. His confidant. And a kind of creative idea(wo)man, too, making us work together with the tasks. Bacause I show strength in relation to other people. He knows that he trust me fully and completely. My education and background as such, and my logical sense, migth be a help. I believe I can open his eyes to other ideas and suggestions and help him to explore new possibilities. I don't know where the limit for my support to Frederik is, but I'm a person you can count on, and I'm strong, and I won't break down.

- Divorce is impossibly for us, not to be imagined. It's my opinion that love only exist once -- and that's it! And wehave such a good relationship. We'll overcome all obstacles! We won't let the problems grow to big without doing something about them. We won't allow each other to build fences. This is something which often happens to a relationship - a gradually build up of greater and greeater distance between each other, and at last they can't see how they migth manage to surpass the clift between them. We both know how important that is in our relationship.

- We both know that one always have to work on one's realtionship and talk a lot about it, with respect for each other. Make room for each other. We aren't glued to each other, we have each, our own doings which we want to perform. In this way I think we complement each other really well. I know that everybody probably says the same rigth before their weddings. At the same time we are well aware, that the monarchy is important, and a divorce is unthinkably. Today I can stand up and say this with all my heart, that this will never happen to us. We have promised ourselves to do everything we can to achieve that. And that's all a human being can do.

- People, who wants the best for me, has said, that it's like I'm born to this job. But this is difficult to recognize, because I was born into something completely different. And this is the point, when I have to realize, that there might be a reason why I'm here right now. That the situation has evolved to this ... there has to be something - - - destiny. And I think about why my destiny becomes so leading. I belive, that it happens for a lot of people, that as life unfolds the influence of destiny grows, because the consequences and the incredibly moments you experience, you just can't belive it happens all by itself. When you grow older your experience with this phenomenon grows and your belief in it become verified. I don't talk about everybody. I don't say either that I understand it - I have a lot to learn, too. Will has something to with it. If you want something to happen, and if you are positive towards it's realization and you are bent on achiving the goal. That has something to do with it. Like my destiny taps me on the shoulder.

- My situation rigth now is fantastic ... some has called it a calling. Others have used the expression: To be born into that role. I have never thougth about it that way. The conclusion I have reached is that there is a reasom why I'm hére. And if I am not able to undertake this role, I wouldn't be here. I'm not here to fail. I'm sure about that. But I won't go as far as saying that I'm born for this role.

- To believe in destiny, is in a way supporting the situation. Another reason is because we love each other. But how did it happen that I came to love Frederik? That we came to love each other? What made us meet? I have often thought about, that if we didn't meet that particular moment in Sidney, we migth have met, at Tasmania at the world championship of dragon sailing. Maybe we would have met then. Then we would have had our second chance. But we were lucky.

- I always belived I would meet 'the man in my life'. I have always counted on being married and I have always wanted kids. I believe everybody dream about that.

- I had a boyfriend for seven years. We still have a very good relationship. Then, this didn't mean that I had lost my belief in marriage. We will always mean something special to each other, because we have gone through a lot together. He hasn't found the one and only, yet, I believe, but he will someday, because he's a very fine person. We just know this, the other will always be there. Seven years is a long time. and he was there for me, when my mom died. He was very compassionate at that time. I couldn't have found anyone better in that situation. When I travelled out in the world, it might have been some unconscious way to test our relationship. But I think that we already knew then, that our relationship had to end.


pp 130-131

- But Frederik - - Frederik has so many abilities. His great energy - both spirituel and physical. His attitude to life - - he is a very interesting person, with a complex personality. He thinks deeply about things, and I think he becomes better and better to express his thougths and extract the essence. A oneness/totality/unity. He fights a lot of fights with himself - like many of us do. It's much about, what he has to do. He has warm, warm heart, he's loyal and honest, approching the flawless. He is funny. He's nice to be with, too. He's inquisitive, he can be full of surprises. A multi facetted person! He has so many sides. He has a wish to develope and grow in this life. He is loving. I think Frederik touches people's hearts. He doesn't like me to say this, but he's a very lonely person, like we all are.

- He has build himself an impressive background, a great expertice and ability, developed a great basis of knowledge. I know he works at getting it all integrated in a complete whole. He has to build up a role, which has relevance both for himself and for the times when he will become a king. It's a developement still going on, and at the rigth moment he will be ready. Evidently it takes a lot of reflections - f.i "How can I be sure about this, which way do I go, on what road do I leave my tracks?" I feel he has become stronger and stronger each day. He'll find himself.

End of translation
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Old 06-04-2004, 07:45 PM
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From the Mary interview

pp 132-135

- If the monarchy one day disappers - I speak now about monarchy as a concept - it's caused by several factors: The developement of society and if an eventually - motivated - lack of respect for the royal family has come to existance. If the people don't see that they make a difference. If the people can't see the value of monarchy, it just underlines the fact, that the role of royals in the monarchy is extremely important. By inference it's extremely important too, that you don't break the rules - by making remarks about politics or political topics, for instance.

- There is a borderline. The royals have a very huge symbolic influence, and if you once cross that line - the rules of the game - it's dangerous in several ways. Others can use your opinions and attitudes, just because of your position in society. This a very big problem, and there must - from both sides - be a respect of the layed down guidlines. And the persons, who work from inside in this, has to do everything to maintain these norms.

- The evolution of society points to a much more flattened structure, which will result in the royal family not having the same role as before. Consequently, I think, that the royals has to be smart enough to find a strategy for survival. Just like any other company in a competitive world. What do we have to do, to ensure our position? What do we have to change? What can we ad to the monarchy as a brand to give it more importance and meaning in society. The royal family and the court have to work intensively to understand the continous changing in society and find the vacuums, they can fill.

- For most people traditions are important. They mean a lot to them, they give meaning, connection and strength. What has impressed me most by the Danes, is exactly their interest in the tradition. This is wonderful. And the royal family is an expression of a tradition. A very popular and strong tradition - a very meaningful tradition. Consequently, to destroy this -the peoples feeling for the importances of tradition - will take a lot, I believe. The strength of tradition are huge. When we in Australia could vote on the introduction of the Republic, it was a big surprise, when the bill got a "nay". Personally I was a bit surprised, too. But the people found that the kingdom was a part of themselves. It's a tradition. It's a kind of identity.

- But monarchy has to show intelligens, too. There has to be a warm, positiv feeling around it. Honesty. Foresigth. Not just do things as they always have been done. Because society isn't as it always was. You have to be smart enough to realize the necessity of change. You have to keep up with the beat. You can't just be a person who goes to openings and cuts cords with golden scissors, you have to think strategically, too, You have to "read the market" and find the ways to develope yourself, to be "relevant" in relation to that "market".

- You have to try to push your limits, try new methods. There isn't anything wrong in trying out new ideas. You can try it on some few "focus areas" in society. Perhaps my angle are a little business like, because I have worked in marketing and markets. Perhaps I'm a little naive on this subject, because all the people wants of the royal family is just to know, that they are there and that they do well. Trust. Respect. But apart from that, it should be possibly to ad new ways of doing things.

- In my opinion, one has already seen this throughout the last centuries, where the danish royal family has developed themselves. Going out amongst the people. The royals don't sit in their high castles anymore. But it's very important to consider how a modern monarchy must function, what is it's role? And at same time keep up the traditions.

- A modern royal family must be in rapport with the society around it, but still keep the very difficult and respectful distance. Perhaps the definition of a modern monarchy is: The danish monarchy. The dansh royal family.

- It's very important that our children, like The Crown Prince and Prince Joachim, is going to an ordinary school. Our children must participate in society like everybody else. Just as Prince Joachim has his life outside the royal family, with his farming and his great passion for that. It's important that our children - parallel with the life in the royal family - is prepared for a life outside it. Their social abilities will be developed.

- But it's important too, that they get the possibilities to persue their own dreams. Because it's possibly to do both.
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Old 06-04-2004, 07:46 PM
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pp 136-137

- The connection to your country is characterized by love towards it and an appreciation of it. Proudness to be from that country. To be part of that country. I know it's possibly to feel this towards two countries. I have seen this in my parents. They have never forgotten where they came from - Scotland - and what it means to them, and what it have made them to. It has been important for them to remember those traditions, which have significans to them, throughout their whole life. At the same time Australia became a country, they cared for and aprreciated, and which they felt fortunate to be able to live in.

- To me Australia will always be a part of who I am, and I feel privileged and fortunate, because I grew up there. To have lived there and to be able to return and recognize the country. At the same time I'm curious to be a part of Denmark - I can already say that I love to be and live here. Here is a lot of people who has a great importance to me, and it is a country, which you just are unable not to care for - because you are real lucky to get allowed to be here. Naturally Australia will always be a part of my identity - perhaps the gretast challenge will be to watch a great sportsmatch: Australia - Denmark! How can you support both teams? That will be a kind of test. The love for a country, to be privileged to feel to be a part of a country, and to be proud of the country and it's people. All this is in the word: "patriotism".

- If I hear the word "Australia" I start to smile immediately. A big spontanous smile - like an automatic reflex. I fell very happy. And I think in colours. The colours of Australia are completely different than here. A complete different palette. To me Australia is primarely the warm feeling of recognition. That's the reason why I smile.

- The associations I get by hearing the word 'Denmark' is: "My new home"! When I sit by the window and look out and enjoy the view, then it's "My new home". It's a lovely thought. There's the "light" too. People say that throughout the winter it's so dark and grey. But I think about the many different types of lights. Th light. And then I think about the whole country as my new home. While I sit here and look out, I think: My new home. My new colours. My new light.
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Old 06-05-2004, 04:30 AM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 95
I just read a great part of the interview book and I'm really surprised about the openharted Mary. I can hardly believe that she said or wrote all this information. I never heard that a coming crown princess is so open in public press. It is nice to read about her life and growing relationship with Frederik. Such private details that she shared! I really want Maxima to do such a thing about her life!
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Old 06-09-2004, 08:43 AM
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 6

The Poem

pp 138-139

- I have brought with me, from home, a favorite poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning - named "How do I love Thee?" It goes like this:

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breath and heigth
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sigth
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-ligth.
I love thee freely, as men strive rigth.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- This is a poem I learned from my father. I have always said to myself: If I could read that poem for someone and honestly feel, that this was from me to him, then this is the person I will be and live with. I have quoted from this poem in my letters to Frederik. But I can't remember, when I did it in serious. Perhaps it was in that period where I thougth, that our relationship migth develope to something that could keep, that I quoted from it, to him. So, he knows it well. And he knows what it means to me.

- I particular love the last line, "and, if God choose, I shall but love thee after death." Because it sounds so beutiful and etherical. And furtermore it reaches out from the death. Nothing can touch love! Nothing changes it - it's out of reach. It reaches almost out of love itself. A love which reaches out of this world.

- It's a poem, which have tremendous importance.

- But there's another one, which means a lot to me and our family. It is an english hymn called: "Eternal Father". Actually it will be played in the church at our wedding. It was my mother's favourite hymn, and one, which I have always loved. Once I sang in a choir and this was the hymn we sang, in a performance of "Joseph's Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat". It was very beautiful and powerfull and when I suggested it to the chief of court, he came back and said it was one of QMII's favourite hymns too. It was played at my mothers funeral. And it means a lot to me and my family, that it will be sung at our wedding.

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Old 06-09-2004, 04:03 PM
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 6
23. Dreams

- Dreams appear in many of life's decisive moments. As an escape or as a beautiful fairytale. Anyway as a let out. Disturbing or happy. Actually I have experienced this unreal state once in my life: The strongest experience I have had, rigth after I had lost my mother. To wake up and think: Is this a dream or did it really happen? Because I wished for something so intense that it had to be a dream!

- But right now, I don't think I have felt, that what has happened during the last three-four years as a dream. Like it has been 'surrealistic'. Perhaps at the official engagement day. At that day it was like: Is this real? The day when Frederik proposed to me privately, it was very real, it was completly 'normal' - - - if you experience a situation like that as normal at all. So, you might say it was like a dream, but it wasn't as close to a dreamlike situation, as the official day of the bethrotal was. Because at that day, I thought: Oh, my God, is this happening in real life? Then I had to ask myself: Is this a dream?

- Everything is so different from my former situation one and a half year ago - wow, it's completely different. All that happened to me, since I met Frederik could very well have been a dream. But it isn't. Usually we see dreams as a reflection of your subconscious. But everything I have experienced and experience, has never existed in my subconscious. Because I could never have imagined this! I have never could anticipate or fantasize about this. It is God's own truth and reality.

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Old 06-09-2004, 06:53 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 184
Thor, it so very nice to see you present your translation work to LTR's members :)

Thanks for the new additions !! :flower:

I don't think this info about the book this topic is all about has been posted at LTR previously :

"Kronprinsesse Mary"
Interviewbog: Kronprinsesse Mary fortæller til Anne Wolden-Ræthinge.
Publisher : Gyldendal - 144 pages - no photos

The book Ninka has written on her 7 three hours interviews with
HRH Crownprincess Mary was released tuesday 18.may 2004

A small part of the book was presented in the newspaper Politiken sunday 9.may
- in an unusually huge newspaper article still to be bought there.

Excerpts of the interview has been translated and been the base for
many shorter articles in english already (some of those are posted at LTR some time ago)

Berlingske Tidende's review :
Det gode skib Mary - af Jens Andersen - 18. maj 2004 kl. 03:30

You may buy this book online in the link below or use the e-mail there
Remember Thor's description : all danish words no photos - Kronprinsesse Mary - fortæller til Anne Wolden-Ræthinge
Sådan fortæller Kronprinsesse Mary til Anne Wolden-Ræthinge (Ninka) under deres samtaler fra december 2003 til april 2004. Kronprinsessen har aldrig tidligere givet et portrætinterview. Spontane samtaler, hvor konkrete emner endevendes, ofte med overraskende indsigt. Spørgsmålene besvares med åbenhed.
HRH Prince Christian
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Old 06-10-2004, 02:03 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: cessnock, Australia
Posts: 112
Does any one no if their will be a english version please.
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Old 06-10-2004, 04:59 AM
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 6
Originally posted by billie-jo@Jun 10th, 2004 - 1:03 am
Does any one no if their will be a english version please.
Hi Billie- Jo

Nobody knows that yet, but it'll my guess that the publishers will try to sell it to an Australian publishing house, or perhaps publish an authorised edition here in Denmark for the foreign visitors. They have done that in 1996 with the similar situation, where Ninka's interview with Queen Margrethe was published in danish and later in an english version.

And to Anna: Thanks for you warm welcome! :flower:

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Old 06-14-2004, 12:04 PM
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 29
Nice interview, I like the fact that they got to know each other for a long time.........

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crown prince frederik, crown princess mary

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