Just spent some time to read the Sally Smith's book: "Diana, in search of herself". Especially the last chapter where she laid down her reasoning why she thougt Diana suffered from BPD. I put some of my thoughts here.
First, a lot of symptoms of BPD Sally Smith thought Diana had are also symptoms of depression, which Diana did have suffered. Such as self-hatred, low-esteem, feeling of lonely and empty, difficulty controlling anger, self-mutilation, suicide attempts and even bulimia. We can not use these as evidences for BPD of Diana.
I would focus on the exclusive traits of BPD. They are
(1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
(2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
The most poignant aspect of the borderline personality is the inability to sustain close, mutually gratifying relationships...She showered people with affection and gifts, then cut them off with little or no explanation.
Diana had as many long-time close friends as other people. Isn't it normal that sometimes people just stop contacting for a while between friends? Diana had made a lot of friends in her life, it is impossible to keep in touch with each of them all the time. There is no reason to overstate this issue. Everyone confronts the same problem as her.
Diana actually alternated between fears about intimacy and anxiety over separation. If people come too close, she felt suffocated; if they kept a slight distance, she felt abandoned. These problems were invisible to the public. Only intimates saw her worries and erratic behavior.
Another wishful thinking with no supporting evidences. Sure it is invisible to the public, because it is "the Emperor's new clothes".
In her closest relationships, Diana showed the borderline's frantic effort to avoid abandonment. ...When Charles went off to work, Diana interpreted his departure as a lack of love. James Hewitt, Oliver Hoare, and Hasnat khan all were the objects of the same pattern of urgent dependency.
When Diana was having a relationship with Hewitt, Hoare, and Khan, she was not living with them under the same roof. She could only see them occasionally, and eventually after each meet, they went off to their own apartment. Diana can tolerate this kind of long-time absense of her other lovers, but can not tolerate charles' leaving for job during only daytime? Kill my logic.
When Diana was alone, she felt trapped and isolated. After a close friend or lover left Diana's presence, she reacted in a childlike fashion, as if she feared the other person wouldn't return.
Same doubts here. Except for Charles, Diand didn't live with her lovers under the same roof. Absence of her lovers was persistent in her later relationships. If she was so dread of her lovers departure or absence, it is really hard to imagine how could Diana get on with her life, and how could she endure this kind of relationship for a long time (she was with Hewitt in this way for 5 years!). Moreover, although Diana might hate loneliness, but she was supposed to be one of the best person who was able to tolerate it. Basically after her separation in 1992, she lived alone in Kensington Palace, and she even spent her last 4 Christmas all by herself.
At the outset of close relationships, Diana usually screened out negative characteristics in the other person. But, inevitably, the object of her affection would let her down, perhaps by failing to praise her enough. Then she would see only the worst in that person.
This discription of Diana here is totally out of imagination and out of character. I think Mrs Smith was referring to the "extremes of idealization and devaluation" trait of BPD here. I wonder whether Mrs Smith had any evidence to support her claim. Have anyone ever heard of Diana complained or bad-mouthed her ex-lovers? I've never. Even to James Hewitt, who had betrayed her so completely and heartlessly, the only complain she had was “I adored him, I loved him but I was very let down.” I just don't know where Mrs Smith got the impression that she would see only the worst in her ex-lovers.
Basically, a lot of evidence and analysis of BPD of Diana Sally Smith gave in her book were plausible only on the surface. She still lacks the professional skills and critical thinking to diagnose Diana.
