Harry and Meghan: Wedding Suggestions and Musings

[Osipi]

Each wedding is unique to the two people getting married and because a first wedding was done a certain way, it doesn't follow that a second wedding will be reflective of the first.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do and I think Meghan would be thrilled to have a proper British royal traditional wedding. In doing so, she's honoring the man she is marrying, his family, his country and her own adopted country. She is also 50% of this wedding and, of course, there will be things she'll like to do with it that uniquely reflect her and there are so many ways she can go about doing this from the dress to the flowers to the music to quite a few other things.

 

[Alliec76]

All of this over a possible rehearsal dinner? Literally just a few folks getting together the night before the wedding? What if they don't call it a rehearsal dinner? Is that the hang up? Did Zara and Mike Tindall offend the British public by having a cocktail party on the Royal yacht the night before their wedding? I'm missing the big deal. Couples incorporate traditions from both families and cultures all the time. Even royal families.

Look I don't think anyone is going to be confused about this being a British Royal wedding. Basically everything about it will be just that. And it isn't just about Meghan showing her commitment to her new husband/family/country. That's a big part of it, but Harry is also committing to her. And I think he'd want to show that he also honors her heritage. Especially since she is about to be giving so much of it up. This isn't a one way street.

 

[Gaudete]

The only reason I don't think the Royal Family has ever bothered with rehearsal dinners is that it would come with a degree of formality that would make it a little impractical and also, it's not as if they don't know the form or how to behave. It would be an odd thing. I would expect some subtle tribute to Meghan's heritage in the form of her bouquet, coat of arms or dress but a rehearsal dinner seems unlikely. Especially as Lady Anson is probably making the finishing touches to her party at the Goring as we speak, which is pretty much as close to a rehearsal dinner as the Royal Family gets.

 

[Curbside]

The only reason I don't think the Royal Family has ever bothered with rehearsal dinners is that it would come with a degree of formality that would make it a little impractical and also, it's not as if they don't know the form or how to behave. It would be an odd thing. I would expect some subtle tribute to Meghan's heritage in the form of her bouquet, coat of arms or dress but a rehearsal dinner seems unlikely. Especially as Lady Anson is probably making the finishing touches to her party at the Goring as we speak, which is pretty much as close to a rehearsal dinner as the Royal Family gets.

Speaking of, what is the deal with the coat of arms? Will Meghan and Harry get one together after they marry? What is the purpose of the coat of arms?

 

[Gaudete]

Speaking of, what is the deal with the coat of arms? Will Meghan and Harry get one together after they marry? What is the purpose of the coat of arms?

In the case of the Duchess of Cambridge, a grant of arms was made to Michael Middleton which then enabled the Duchess to use the Coat of Arms before her marriage. After their wedding, the Coat of Arms was "impaled" with that of William's. In Meghan's case, I assume the grant will be made to her personally rather than to her father and she can then use it in her own right before she becomes Harry's wife. After that, it'll be impaled with that of Prince Harry's.

The purpose....well, that's debatable. Years ago, Coats of Arms were pretty vital because they were used to wax seal documents as prove of their authorship and validity. Today, it's still used sometimes as an identifier but mostly it's just a nice thing to have. As the years go by, things will be added to Meghan's coat of arms and it gives a pictorial narrative of her achievements and her place within the Royal Family. But practically? It doesn't really have much of a use unless you're the Pope.

 

[TLLK]

Maybe for the same reason she picked the Irish Guards for William before his wedding. She likes the uniforms. Especially if they have red in them.

(ducks and runs for cover)

She is still in charge!!!

 

[Curbside]

Interesting. Googling reveals that the United States has a coat of arms, known as the Great Seal. Also, all the states of the Union! I had no idea.

I wonder if Meghan's would incorporate a grizzly bear.

 

[Gaudete]

Interesting. Googling reveals that the United States has a coat of arms, known as the Great Seal. Also, all the states of the Union! I had no idea.

I wonder if Meghan's would incorporate a grizzly bear.

I think it will. And so it should! It would be nice to see her American heritage reflected in her Coat of Arms. Especially for her future children.

 

[Spheno]

I think it will. And so it should! It would be nice to see her American heritage reflected in her Coat of Arms. Especially for her future children.

Her future children will inherit their father's Coat of Arms.

 

[ACO]

Thanks for that Gaudete as I had no idea! I also hope they incorporate the grizzly. It would be a nice homage to her home country as she takes this new journey on.

As for her father, I do wonder how the Markle side will play into this. She is clearly not very close to any of them and while she loves her dad there is clearly some distance there. It doesn't appear to be the same kind of relationship with her mother who we know she is extremely close with.

Will be interesting.

 

[Gaudete]

Thanks for that Gaudete as I had no idea! I also hope they incorporate the grizzly. It would be a nice homage to her home country as she takes this new journey on.

As for her father, I do wonder how the Markle side will play into this. She is clearly not very close to any of them and while she loves her dad there is clearly some distance there. It doesn't appear to be the same kind of relationship with her mother who we know she is extremely close with.

Will be interesting.

I may be wrong on this but American citizens can't accept honours without certain permissions can they? I wonder if a COA would be considered an honour? But then if it was, it doesn't just put Meghan's father out of the running but Meghan herself. Come to that, would she be able to accept any honour from the Queen before becoming a British citizen? It may be regarded as honorary until she has made the change as it were. One to think about!

Her future children will inherit their father's Coat of Arms.

Of course, I meant more that Meghan could perhaps use it to explain her position and where she came from

 

[O-H Anglophile]

I may be wrong on this but American citizens can't accept honours without certain permissions can they? I wonder if a COA would be considered an honour? But then if it was, it doesn't just put Meghan's father out of the running but Meghan herself. Come to that, would she be able to accept any honour from the Queen before becoming a British citizen? It may be regarded as honorary until she has made the change as it were. One to think about!



Of course, I meant more that Meghan could perhaps use it to explain her position and where she came from

The rules are that the United States doesn't grant titles of nobility nor can people holding office, without the consent of Congress, accept any title (or certain other "gifts.")
And a person holding a US passport would generally not have a title of nobility recognized legally.

 

[Gaudete]

The rules are that the United States doesn't grant titles of nobility nor can people holding office, without the consent of Congress, accept any title (or certain other "gifts.")
And a person holding a US passport would generally not have a title of nobility recognized legally.

Thanks for the clarification here, it was something I had heard about but wasn't too clear on.

 

[Curbside]

But Google says the prince's COA do incorporate elements of their mother's COA.

https://us.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2002/10/11/harry-crest/

If they do give Meghan a COA, I suppose they could go with a bald eagle, but that is so generic and the US is a huge country. The eagle might be too patriotic, and seeing as we fought a couple of wars against England, I'm guessing inappropriate.

I assume some honors and so forth might be honorary until she becomes a citizen, no? I'm sure there are a number of local customs she will have to abide by that for most Americans would be unthinkable. Just typing the word "curtsy" brings about a visceral negative response.

 

[CyrilVladisla]

Will wedding soup be served at the wedding reception?

 

[Pranter]

I wouldn't think so..unless Harry/Meghan want it specifically.


LaRae

 

[Gaudete]

But Google says the prince's COA do incorporate elements of their mother's COA.

https://us.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2002/10/11/harry-crest/

If they do give Meghan a COA, I suppose they could go with a bald eagle, but that is so generic and the US is a huge country. The eagle might be too patriotic, and seeing as we fought a couple of wars against England, I'm guessing inappropriate.

I assume some honors and so forth might be honorary until she becomes a citizen, no? I'm sure there are a number of local customs she will have to abide by that for most Americans would be unthinkable. Just typing the word "curtsy" brings about a visceral negative response.

Special provision was made for William and Harry to allow them to honour their mother in their COAs. But it isn't usual. I think you're right though, I would assume if they do take any inspiration from American heraldry in Meghan's COA it'll be localised to the state rather than the entire US.

I think it's probably likely that if Meghan does get any honours from the Queen before she's a citizen (given the time frame it would be a little unlikely in my opinion), they'll be recognised here regardless and that's really what counts. Kate hasn't got any honours yet and she's been married for seven years. Given that it takes around 3-5 years to gain citizenship (or at least to begin the process), I don't think there'd be a clash. But anything is possible. HM likes to surprise us sometimes.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Generally a rehearsal dinner in the US is a meal that the immediate families of the bride & groom, their wedding party (and spouses/significant others) and sometimes certain out of town guests attend after the wedding rehearsal. Usually this is held the evening before the wedding and traditionally paid for by the groom's family. This is an opportunity to socialize with this group before the wedding.
Wedding rehearsals for Royal weddings are usually not the evening before the wedding so the original purpose of a rehearsal dinner doesn't exist. Meghan & Harry might have a gathering or a party but probably not a traditional rehearsal dinner.

 

[ladongas]

Everyone has to eat- so what is the problem with sharing a meal after the rehearsal?

 

[ACO]

Generally a rehearsal dinner in the US is a meal that the immediate families of the bride & groom, their wedding party (and spouses/significant others) and sometimes certain out of town guests attend after the wedding rehearsal. Usually this is held the evening before the wedding and traditionally paid for by the groom's family. This is an opportunity to socialize with this group before the wedding.
Wedding rehearsals for Royal weddings are usually not the evening before the wedding so the original purpose of a rehearsal dinner doesn't exist. Meghan & Harry might have a gathering or a party but probably not a traditional rehearsal dinner.

Yes and when the evening is done the marrieds to be go off with the separate parties until they see each other at the wedding. Clearly something of the same will be happening with them it just not what we call the "rehearsal dinner" which is fine. They will do whatever works for them.

 

[Alliec76]

Everyone has to eat- so what is the problem with sharing a meal after the rehearsal?

Apparently it's something that the British "just don't do". That's all I got. (Even though I've been reading that more American traditions have been making their way across the Pond.)

They may not even want one. But if they do, I don't see the big deal.

 

[Madame Verseau]

Meghan's COA would be up to the queen. The grizzly bear is the state animal of California; it could be used . The American Beauty rose is the national flower of the US. That flower can be incorporated in the COA and her wedding bouquet. As for her title, Princess Grace and Queen Noor set the precedent on how an American born woman who is/was royal are to be addressed.

 

[Curbside]

And again, the US is huge, so going with one flower seems to make less sense than going with something regional or native, which the American Beauty rose is not. But what do I know? I'm really just another uninformed American babbling on the internet. ?

 

[Countessmeout]

If Meghan has all children (which I think might be best), someone will have to take charge
of them (Like Kate did for Pippa's wedding).
Maybe her wedding-planner friend?

What wedding planner friend? She has a stylist friend Jessica. Am I missing someone?

Why would her maid of honor not do that? Pippa did for Kate. Or is some how Meghan going to offend someone by having a maid of honor? I don't see how that could be too unBritish to offend someone, Kate had one.

The rehersal dinner is a laugh. I am sorry but how can anyone get so upset by the thought there may be one? Its people getting together for dinner. How is that insulting or offensive or whatever the issue people are having is? The queen hosted a dinner for out of town royal guests. Meghan is going to have a large number of out of country guests. I don't see why it would offend anyone if they went out to eat the night before.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

Imho there definitely will be a wedding rehearsal(s), and rehearsal dinner. None of this clashes with any traditions. No one in Britain will care if Meghan and Harry will have a rehearsal dinner with the wedding party. This is THEIR wedding, and like others have said, unless it clashes with some protocols, they'll get their way. Rehearsals and rehearsal dinners aren't clashing with anything. Jmo.

I can't wait to see firstly Meghan in her dress, but also Harry in his uniform. He will be so handsome.

 

[ACO]

I think the issue (maybe?) is because her friends are not accustomed to the ways? Having her BFF child wrangle little nobles seems like a no no? That is just a guess. I fully believe that Jessica will be by her side like Pippa was for Kate. Meghan said in an interview that Jessica was her sister (her kids call Meghan their aunt) as she was felt like an only child growing up. When I read that interview I was kind of surprised since I knew she had half siblings but now it makes all the sense in the world.

 

[jacqui24]

I can't wait to see firstly Meghan in her dress, but also Harry in his uniform. He will be so handsome.

I CAN’T WAIT to see Harry’s reaction when he sees Meghan in her wedding dress. I think we are going see some misty prince eyes.

I think the issue (maybe?) is because her friends are not accustomed to the ways? Having her BFF child wrangle little nobles seems like a no no? That is just a guess. I fully believe that Jessica will be by her side like Pippa was for Kate. Meghan said in an interview that Jessica was her sister (her kids call Meghan their aunt) as she was felt like an only child growing up. When I read that interview I was kind of surprised since I knew she had half siblings but now it makes all the sense in the world.

I think it’s a toss up between Meghan’s niece, Jessica, and Lindsay.

 

[ACO]

Ah, Lindsay. Yes. Will be interesting to see who she picks. I forget out of her father's side she is very close to her niece. Seems to be the only one. Though I still think it will likely be Jessica or Lindsay. They are her girls and the ones who have been with her everything it seems.

I CAN’T WAIT to see Harry’s reaction when he sees Meghan in her wedding dress. I think we are going see some misty prince eyes.

I can't wait for that moment. Which wedding was it where the tear was wiped away by the bride? That is what I picture. I remember how Harry saw Kate and told William "Just wait until you see her." I want that moment for Harry. He couldn't even handle hearing the world "husband" so I imagine that moment seeing her will be something out of this world for him.

 

[Countessmeout]

I think it’s a toss up between Meghan’s niece, Jessica, and Lindsay.

Honestly Jessica and Linsday IMO. Yes, Meghan has mentioned support of her niece on social media, but little more. I haven't seen much evidence, other then reporters doing stories, that she is that close to her niece at all. Both Lindsday and Jessica are extremely close friends of hers, basically family.

I think the issue (maybe?) is because her friends are not accustomed to the ways? Having her BFF child wrangle little nobles seems like a no no? That is just a guess. I fully believe that Jessica will be by her side like Pippa was for Kate. Meghan said in an interview that Jessica was her sister (her kids call Meghan their aunt) as she was felt like an only child growing up. When I read that interview I was kind of surprised since I knew she had half siblings but now it makes all the sense in the world.

Have her friends never been around children before? I don't see how it is a no no. Many American weddings have flower girls and kids in them. Jessica is certainly a mom, and her daughter is highly likely to be in the wedding party, which would make even more sense for Jessica to do it.

The reality is this is not a private wedding where the child wrangler can simply be off to the side. Cameras in the church and all. There wont be an 'unofficial' role.

 

[ACO]

Of course they have been around children. I personally don't see the issue but I can see some having issue with some basic commoner wrangling kids of noble blood. You know how people get. I mean sheesh there has been debate over something as simple as a rehearsal dinner.