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  #221  
Old 03-09-2021, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by texankitcat View Post
Didnít she say they attended an event that same evening as well?
I think she said the same day, and then corrected it was the next evening. A Cirque du Soleil show in January 2019.
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  #222  
Old 03-09-2021, 09:59 PM
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On the contrary Meghan said he saved her. Recall the night at the theater. He was the decisive one that saw how much she was suffering and decided that drastic actions needed to be raken.
Honestly, I haven't watched the entire interview so I am not sure what point Harry finally took action but Meghan suffered a lot during the time he didn't. For example, I read that she was very unhappy because the staff was advising her not to go out, leaving her feeling trapped for about two months. That is a long time for a spouse not to notice that there is a serous problem.

Moreover, I don't know how often her doctor appointments were but I am surprised that the doctor didn't pick up on her depression if it lasted that long. What about Doria, certainly she talked to her daughter via Skype - and she didn't notice. I don't think the staff are the most culpable actors in this drama.
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  #223  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Fem View Post
I think she said the same day, and then corrected it was the next evening. A Cirque du Soleil show in January 2019.
Thank you! I find that rather curious.
  #224  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:05 PM
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Didn’t she say they attended an event that same evening as well?
It was the next day. She said the morning of the event she told Harry how she was feeling and then the next day she “talked to the institution."
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  #225  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:06 PM
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And quite a sensible question to ask ourselves is... where did she want to go? To some mental health establishment in the UK? Or one of those popular "spa" institutions for the rich and famous in the USA? Would she agree to see a local therapist in her own house, or was that not what she wanted?

We also know that Harry did not say anything about that to any of his family because he was ashamed. He said that himself. So literally no one from BRF, excluding Harry and Meghan, knew about how bad it was.

And the response from HR department was absolutely correct. Even though they were working royals, HR department is for solving matters concerning employees of royal offices, not the actual royals. So no, it does not surprise me that she didn't achieve anything there.
Meghan herself said she wanted to go to a hospital but that she couldn't just call an uber- that inplies that she wasn't asking for anything elaborate or extravagant.
Moreover, if a senior palace official denied her request in makes sense that in the throws of her anguish and despair that she would ask for help from any logical place such as the palace's HR department. Many organizations -HR departments have employee health offices on premises(physical and mental) to assist employees.

There is also the shame stigma that comes from asking for help. Like Meghan said in the S. African interview- no one checked in on them to see if they were ok or how she was coping with it all. Moreover as she and Harry were told that they should "just get on with it". Imagine how that affects ones self esteem in the midst of a crisis.
  #226  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:08 PM
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I'm not arguing that she was an employee (or as Human Resources said, a paid employee). Just that that was her thought process to go to them when she was denied help by someone high up in the institution.

Thank you for explaining that you understand that she was not a BP employee. And yes I do understand that was her thought process at the time, however it still would not make sense to go to anyone other than her husband or healthcare provider to find a referral for mental healthcare.
  #227  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:08 PM
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I get that everyone is very worked up about the circumstances around Meghan asking for help and her "being denied help" but I still hold we don't know two things.

1. What kind of help she asked for specifically. Did she say she wanted to go to a US spa for treatment, was she willing to accept anything else.

2. How did she describe her situation to the people she was talking to? Did she say that she was stressed, struggling, blue, depressed or did she actually say she was suicidal? I have to believe if it was the latter no matter what the circumstances or who she was talking to she WOULD have gotten instant help.

I will also say, personally as someone who has contemplated, and indeed attempted, suicide in the past, I never once told people the true level of the severity of my situation even if I was asking for help. I'm not saying Meghan is me but I DO know that I am not alone in underplaying the level of my depression. It's possible Meghan did the same and so no one actually knew how bad she really was. People aren't mind readers, they can't know what's going on with you if you don't clearly communicate and we know from the interview neither Meghan nor Harry were clearly communicating what was going on.
  #228  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher View Post
Honestly, I haven't watched the entire interview so I am not sure what point Harry finally took action but Meghan suffered a lot during the time he didn't. For example, I read that she was very unhappy because the staff was advising her not to go out, leaving her feeling trapped for about two months. That is a long time for a spouse not to notice that there is a serous problem.

Moreover, I don't know how often her doctor appointments were but I am surprised that the doctor didn't pick up on her depression if it lasted that long. What about Doria, certainly she talked to her daughter via Skype - and she didn't notice. I don't think the staff are the most culpable actors in this drama.
I used to think like you before I saw what happened to my sister. Until she divulged all the detail of her abusive first marriage to me, I and my entire family had no idea. Why? because she hid it really well. How many times do we hear of a high-profile person, who had committed or attempted to commit suicide and think "Wow, I'd never knew they were depressed!". Too many times.

Those who state - "but the royal family have a huge network of medical professionals" need to realise that the person who is suffering from mental health issues needs to feel psychologically safe with whom they choose. Clearly Meghan did not feel safe with any within that network.
  #229  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Alisa View Post
Moreover, if a senior palace official denied her request in makes sense that in the throws of her anguish and despair that she would ask for help from any logical place such as the palace's HR department. Many organizations -HR departments have employee health offices on premises(physical and mental) to assist employees.
I am not sure going to HR was the next logical step. In Finding Freedom, her friends indicated that she thought of Charles as a second father. He has gone for help himself and tried to arrange for help for Diana. Meghan was in contact with her friends and her mother, so she could have talked to them. I know if it were my daughter, I would have called Harry or Charles. Perhaps the staff should have handled it differently but they are not the only ones.

But they are easy targets. Moreover, Meghan has been credibly accused of abusing her staff, so I can imagine that they were trying to avoid getting too caught up. They are human and humans make mistakes - even Harry and Meghan.
  #230  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:15 PM
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Another thing I'm wondering about now while discussing mental health issues. I'm wondering if either one of them are currently receiving professional help to guide them through all these changes or were they instantly "cured" once they left the UK? That would have been a good question for Oprah to ask. What are they doing about their mental health issues today. Obviously that question wasn't on the list.


Iíd like to think if they were this interview wouldnít have happened at all. Their feelings about the BRF seem about the same as they were a year ago: angry, bitter, resentful. They both seem unable to see any side but their own. Neither take responsibility for much of anything. Everything is someone elseís fault.

I canít imagine a mental health professional thinking this interview was a good call either. Not that Harry and Meghan would have necessarily taken their advice.
  #231  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:16 PM
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Without knowing what conversations were had and who Meghan spoke to, itís hard to know if the institution really denied Meghan's request to seek treatment. For instance, were they okay with her seeking out-patient treatment, but just didnít want her to do in-patient treatment? Was there a list of therapists they recommended and she wanted to go to someone else? These are a few of the questions that I wished Oprah had asked.

Meghan wouldnít need to go to a therapistís office to seek treatment. The therapist could have come to Meghan.
She said she wanted to go to a hospital but that one can't just take an uber to go there. At her lowest point when she was being suicidal she needed to be * hospitalized * because she was in danger of harming herself. Again- all that needs arrangement- finding a discreet psychiatrist and hospital to care for- arranging for her to be discreetly transported there...etc.
  #232  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:17 PM
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One thing I don’t understand is when Harry said he didn’t go to family because their mentality is basically just, get on with it. Wasn’t it Willam who encouraged Harry to seek help when he was having a difficult time? Why would Harry think his family wouldn’t be understanding about Meghan’s situation?
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  #233  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:21 PM
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Originally Posted by CrownPrincessJava View Post
I used to think like you before I saw what happened to my sister. Until she divulged all the detail of her abusive first marriage to me, I and my entire family had no idea. Why? because she hid it really well. How many times do we hear of a high-profile person, who had committed or attempted to commit suicide and think "Wow, I'd never knew they were depressed!". Too many times.

Those who state - "but the royal family have a huge network of medical professionals" need to realise that the person who is suffering from mental health issues needs to feel psychologically safe with whom they choose. Clearly Meghan did not feel safe with any within that network.
I agree that it is very possible that Meghan tried to put on a brave face, which may be why the staff didn't think she needed to be hospitalized - that is a pretty drastic step. Additionally, that would explain why the royal family who didn't know her that well and didn't see her that often didn't pick up on it.

If that is the case, I don't think folks, including Harry and Meghan, can blame the staff and the royal family for not recognizing something that her own husband didn't notice.

Perhaps it is because I have been married for almost 40 years, but I feel that my husband and I are able to detect when something is amiss.
  #234  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:22 PM
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Another thing I'm wondering about now while discussing mental health issues. I'm wondering if either one of them are currently receiving professional help to guide them through all these changes or were they instantly "cured" once they left the UK? That would have been a good question for Oprah to ask. What are they doing about their mental health issues today. Obviously that question wasn't on the list.
I really hope they, especially Prince Harry because he came across angry. And he needs to work through that
  #235  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:23 PM
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One thing I donít understand is when Harry said he didnít go to family because their mentality is basically just, get on with it. Wasnít it Willam who encouraged Harry to seek help when he was having a difficult time? Why would Harry think his family wouldnít be understanding about Meghanís situation?
I don't understand this either. We know Harry's been to therapy. Diana had been to therapy. I believe I've even heard that Charles has been to therapy. Clearly William and Kate have no issue with it. So where is this coming from? Something about this feels off.
  #236  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:29 PM
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I don't understand this either. We know Harry's been to therapy. Diana had been to therapy. I believe I've even heard that Charles has been to therapy. Clearly William and Kate have no issue with it. So where is this coming from? Something about this feels off.
Perhaps it's the "I told you so" he may have not wanted to hear. In the sense when William told Harry to slow down with Meghan.
  #237  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:30 PM
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She said she wanted to go to a hospital but that one can't just take an uber to go there. At her lowest point when she was being suicidal she needed to be * hospitalized * because she was in danger of harming herself. Again- all that needs arrangement- finding a discreet psychiatrist and hospital to care for- arranging for her to be discreetly transported there...etc.
Most people in that situation need to hospitalized because adequate 24/7 supervision to prevent them from harming themselves isn't possible in their homes. In Meghan's case, it would have been. She may have felt that being hospitalized was the best option for her, and she may even have been correct, but that doesn't mean it was the only option that might have benefited her. If she'd done what she could with in-home treatment and didn't believe it was working, that's one thing. But if her response to (what she perceived as) being told "Sorry, you can't check into a hospital" was "Well, then I guess I won't have any treatment at all!" then honestly, that could reasonably be perceived as her threatening suicide to manipulate people and dropping the charade when it didn't work.
  #238  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:31 PM
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Originally Posted by TLLK View Post
I do not understand why you believe that any member of the British royal family would go to the Buckingham Palace Human Resources office if they had a problem with their health be it physical, dental or mental. They would simply contact their healthcare provider for a referral.

I understand that is what the Duchess of Sussex chose to do, but honestly her better choice would have been to contact her primary care specialist which would have likely been at that time her OB/GYN.
I don't disagree, however, you have to remember that Meghan is an American. If we have a question about where to go for health care, contacting HR is pretty standard. What this all tells me is that Harry failed Meghan in not making sure she understood where to go for things like this.

In fact, this interview tells me Harry has failed Meghan in a lot of ways when it comes to succeeding as a senior member of the Royal Family.
  #239  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Kellydofc View Post
I don't understand this either. We know Harry's been to therapy. Diana had been to therapy. I believe I've even heard that Charles has been to therapy. Clearly William and Kate have no issue with it. So where is this coming from? Something about this feels off.

All of this. And William & Harry together have been saying that you should ask someone for help. Kate has been to family therapy with her brother, we know that too.
  #240  
Old 03-09-2021, 10:35 PM
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Race comment not by Queen or Duke

I may have missed this but I read somewhere that Harry said the race comment did not come from his Grandparents but I do not recall him saying this. Just curious if someone heard him say this.
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