Make Your Own Royal Books

[Dennism]

Okay. Let´s make this a funny thread. If Royals wrote books, what would the titles be? I think a few royals could contribute to the "Dummies" series. But first of all, I think there should be a book called:

"The Finances of a Royal Court - A Guide for Dummies"


Poor Marius could write when he is older:

"How to get over the fact that your younger sister is more popular than you are"


So what other books do you think various royals could write?

 

[GrandDuchess]

Great idea for a thread Dennis :flower: , here are my suggestions for books by royals:

King Carl Gustaf & Queen Silvia (co-authoring):
# “Hidden Secrets of the Riviera – Our Personal Gems for You to Discover”
# “Solliden Through the Years – Our Summer Haven”

King Carl Gustaf:
# "Making History - How to Be a Good Monarch and Lead a Family to a Life Without Big Scandals"
# “Inner Emotions – How to Keep Your Spirit High Through Every Situation”

Queen Silvia:
# “A Common Touch – To Be a Modern Yet Regal Queen”
# "Our Stories - A Book of Hope for the Future of Our Children"

Crown Princess Victoria:
# "Crown Princess - How to Take on the Role and Wow the People"
# “How to Make the Premises Look & Feel Good – A Guide to Interior Decorating for Gym Owners”
# “Being Around Animals – A Helpful Guide for People with Fears”

Princess Madeleine:
# “Summer – A Guide to Natural Tanning”
# “Style of the Jet Set – A Guide”
# “Waldemarsudde – My Guide to Prince Eugene’s Home”

Prince Carl Philip:
# “Hunting for Beginners”
# “Sports and Recreation – How to Keep Fit”

Crown Princess Mette-Marit (this is with a twinkle in my eye):
# "Confessions of a Waitress Girl - How to Go from Single Mother and Waitress to Crown Princess of a European Kingdom in Less than 1 Year"

By me for Dennis :flower: (even though I'm not royal):
# "A Future Prince - A Guide for Ordinary Men Marrying a Crown Princess of A European Kingdom"

 

[Freedom]

Some of these are very funny.

 

[Dennism]

Of course, Maxima could write "Wear a stylish and colorful wardrobe all of the time!"

In fact, Maxima and Märtha Louise could co-author "Finding your personal style: Ways to find a niche wardrobe for yourself."

 

[HardCorrVictoria]

Sarah Ferguson: "The importance of maintaining proper foot care in preparation for one's summer holiday"

Princess Madeleine: "How to save precious dollars on your summer vacation by scrimping on unnecessary products such as sunscreen"

Crown Princess Victoria: "How to maintain your dignity while dating a man with a preference to wearing trucker hats"

 

[duchie]

The Countess of Wessex- How to tell if a Sheik is a Sheik

Prince Edward- How to lose a film company in 10 days

Prince Harry- How to overthrow your big brother and become king

Peter Phillips- The intimate thoughts of my Airline hostess

Zara Phillips- How to compete with your jockeys first love (horses or is that red heads?)
- The top ten ways to show some royal leg at boring State Dinners
- The Intimate tells of England's rugby team (better make that any man with even a slight intrest in sports)

Princess Madeliene- Hats off to Madeliene, the styles of a princess

 

[kirstengrafin]

Great! I see some potential best-sellers here. Here's my attempt at some titles :flower:

Princess Stephanie of Monaco
"Bodyguards, Butlers & Acrobats - My Life is a Three-Ring Circus!"


Crown Princess Marie Chantal of Greece
"Trustfunds to Tiaras - Land the Poor Aristocrat of Your Dreams & Join the Landed Gentry"

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark
"A Common Girl's Guide: How to Slip in to a Life of Royal Splendor & Privilege"

 

[Dennism]

Originally posted by kirstengrafin@Jul 6th, 2004 - 10:43 am
Crown Princess Mary of Denmark
"A Common Girl's Guide: How to Slip in to a Life of Royal Splendor & Privilege"

Very good. I like that one.

 

[Lady Jean]

Great job Kirstengrafin

 

[kirstengrafin]

Here's a few more that I thought up during my lunch break: :flower:

Crown Princess Maxima
"Color Me Orange -How to Stylishly Incorporate Your Country's Color Into Every Aspect of Your Wardrobe"
Whether you're stuck wearing orange, magenta, or worse yet, crazy mixed-up patterns for traditional events, let Maxima's sure-fire advice transform your look from mascot to majestic!


Ernst August von Hannover
"The Importance of Being Ernst - My Life Thus Far"
A frank, honest and introspective account of Ernst August's life in the spotlight. The Prince candidly recounts his "Gee Whiz" incident at the Turkish Pavilion in 2000, protests his reputation as "The Punching Prince" and gamely speculates why he alone can look stylish in a brown jacket and blue jeans. A must-read for every tabloid devotee!


Princess Madeleine of Sweden
Taming Your Inner Brat - How to End Self-Defeating Behaviors That Result From Royal Privilege"
In this royal "It Girl" guide, Princess Madeleine dispenses youthful wisdom regarding the impropriety of plunging necklines, immodest swimming floss and other less than nobel....er, noble modes of dress and behavior. A best-seller in Monaco!

 

[Dennism]

"How to behave in Public for Dummies" by Sarah Ferguson.

"How to become a Gay Icon" by Prince Carl Philip

 

[kirstengrafin]

Prince Henrik of Denmark
"Apprenez à parler det dansk sprog avec moi! Prince Henrik’s Royal Tutorial"

You’re planning an official visit to Denmark, but good heavens, who can figure out how to say anything other than goddag and tak for det? Let Prince Henrik use his 37 years of experience as a Danish citizen to teach you how to royally bluff your way through banquets by using easy words in English or lapsing into French altogether!

 

[Jackswife]

"How to Land a Smoking Hot Prince in 10 Easy Lessons" by CP Letizia
"Wish I Wasn't Here" by Prince Albert of Monaco
"What? Me Worry?" by Princess Stephanie of Monaco
"Love Means Never Having to Say I'm Sorry" by Haakon and Mette-Marit
"Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful" by Queen Rania

 

[mgrant]

Prince Charles: 25 Steps to a Happy Royal Marriage

Princess Stephanie of Monaco: If At First You Don't Succeed, Marry, Marry Again(and Again!)

Mabel Witt-Smit: Simple Wedding Gown Designs

Prince Johan Frisco: What I Did For Love

 

[Chatleen]

Originally posted by kirstengrafin@Jul 7th, 2004 - 3:46 pm

Prince Henrik of Denmark
"Apprenez à parler det danske sprog avec moi! Prince Henrik’s Royal Tutorial"

You’re planning an official visit to Denmark, but good heavens, who can figure out how to say anything other than goddag and tak for det?  Let Prince Henrik use his 37 years of experience as a Danish citizen to teach you how to royally bluff your way through banquets by using easy words in English or lapsing into French altogether!   

The way of selling the books to danes like myself, would be:

Do you always wonder, what that guy is trying to say? Do you sometimes get bewildered, when the eloquent prince choose to enlighten us: are there really such a great resemblance between Danish and French? This is a once-of-a-lifetime opportunity to learn how to understand The prince consort.

 

[Alisa]

What a light-hearted feel good post! Thanks for all the laughs.. :flower:

 

[Dennism]

These are brilliant. I loved the Henrik one. Good work, Kirsten. It looks like Stephanie is trying again and again indeed!

 

[hrhcp]

kirstengrafin  Posted: Jul 6th, 2004 - 7:17 pm

Here's a few more

first overshadowed by this second ... look forward to reading more "tongue in cheek" lines !!!! :flower:

 

[mgrant]

Marie-Chantal Pavlos: My Big Fat Royal Greek Wedding

Queen Elizabeth II: Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend...Especially In Crowns, Tiaras, Brooches, Scepters......

CP Victoria and Dennism: The Princess and the Pauper

 

[Dennism]

Shedding a Tear in Public: My life as the first Mextrosexual Crown Prince by Frederik of Denmark

European Farming Policy for the 21st Century by Prince Joachim.

Strollers, Sunglasses and a Passport: My life as a Globetrotting Baby by Princess Ingrid Alexandria.

 

[Elspeth]

Princess Michael of Kent - Gracious Behaviour in Public: How to Live a Low-Profile Life and be a Credit to your Family and your Country.

 

[mgrant]

Prince Pavlos: How to Marry a Millionairess
Princess Marie-Chantal Pavlos: Princes and Coronets: How to go from Being Merely Rich to Being a Princess and Merely Rich

Princess Alexandra von Furstenberg: How to go from Being a Princess and Merely Rich to Being Merely Rich (Again)

Imperial Household Agency: How to Live Like a Japanese Royal Princess from the 6th Century and Like It

Prince Hans-Adam of Liechtenstein: Knowing When to Leave
Prince Alois: Everything I Learned in Life, I Learned From My Dad

 

[Dennism]

Anybody have any more suggestions?

 

[Julian]

Princess Stephanie of Monaco: "10 Week Crash Course in Bodybuilding for a New Career in the Circus".

Princess Caroline of Monaco: "Potty Training for Your Husband After 40: 5 Easy Steps to End His Public Urination Habits"

Miss Zara Phillips: "Tongue and Nipple Piercing Techniques: How to Make Your Mouth Glitter Along with Your Wardrobe for Royal Ascot"

Princess Clotilde of Venice: "Platform Shoes for the Late, Late Wedding: How to Look Slimmer and Walk Steadier Down the Aisle When You're Six Months Pregnant"

Prince Vittorio Emmanuele of Naples: "My No-Nonsense Training Guide for Practising Deadly Karate Blows on Rival Relatives at Royal Weddings"

 

[Dennism]

Prince Vittorio Emmanuele of Naples: "My No-Nonsense Training Guide for Practising Deadly Karate Blows on Rival Relatives at Royal Weddings"

That must be the book that Miguel has but in the picture-book version.

 

[Safaa Batin]

"Love more, Fear less" by king Hussein of Jordan.
"Oppression from Relatives" by P. Hassan of Jordan.
"You Horse" by P. Haya of Jordan
"Fundementals of Economical Leadership" by king Abdullah of Jordan.
"Over sadness" or "despite sadness" by Prince Ali of Jordan.
" Woman Rights" by Queen Rania of Jordan.

 

[wymanda]

What a shame Diana didn't write


"How to look innocent & manipulate the press (an easy guide to make the people love you)"

or

"How not to keep your Prince, his mistress & your lover"

 

[Dennism]

That must be the book that Miguel has but in the picture-book version.

You bozo. You mean Froilan.

 

[semisquare]

Crown Princess Mette-Marit (this is with a twinkle in my eye):
# "Confessions of a Waitress Girl - How to Go from Single Mother and Waitress to Crown Princess of a European Kingdom in Less than 1 Year"

lol...i love it...do u think if i follow her advice i can become a crown princess...lol

 

[Dennism]

Why not? Go for it!