I've just arrived home from a day trip to a very hot Brisbane, and therefore it is possible that my brain has been addled by the heat, but right now I am of the view that the tradition that wives take their husband's styles and titles is just that: a tradition. A tradition is not law, and traditions can change. Nowhere is it stated in UK legislation that a wife must do that, and since the monarch is the fount of all honours it is my belief that once he becomes king Charles can issue Letters Patent declaring that henceforth Camilla shall be known as HRH The Princess Consort.
I find what you've said here interesting and thought provoking.
Of course, as we should all know when Jane Doe marries John Smith she can go a number of ways when it comes to her name and title. She can be Ms. or Mrs., and she can be Doe, Smith, Doe-Smith, or even Smith-Doe. That said, I don't think making the decision to be Mrs. Smith prevents her from also being Ms. Doe - consider Zara, who uses both Tindall and Phillips depending on the situation. Jane Doe could chose to take her husband's name legally, but sometimes use her maiden, or vis versa.
When it comes to women who marry into royalty, I'm not entirely sure if they have the same freedom that Jane Doe has when it comes to deciding what name to use, at least not when they marry as high up as Camilla has. The wives of the Kents and Gloucesters maybe, but not the wives of the Queen's children.
Even assuming that Camilla could have remained Mrs. Shand while married to Charles, it doesn't prevent her from also being Duchess of Cornwall or Princess of Wales. Likewise, in the future, if Charles decided to issue LPs to create Camilla a Princess of the United Kingdom in her own right, similar to the DoE or Prince Albert, then I support that. I don't see why there should be any problem with the wife of the monarch being a Princess of the realm when her male counterpart certainly would. And if the decision is made to have Camilla created a Princess and referred to as such in the CC, I don't think those of us who support her should make too much of a fuss about it. I would prefer to see her use her highest title, in keeping with tradition and in paying respect to the role she's fulfilled as Charles' wife - but if she would rather not be known as the Queen then I respect that.
That said, though, I don't believe that legislation should be passed to strip Camilla of the title of Queen. For a few reasons, actually:
1. If Parliament decides to issue legislature changing the title they're going against a 1,000 year tradition. If they do it for all future wives of a monarch on the grounds of "equality" then they're missing the point (as I discussed earlier in this thread, I believe). If they do it just for Camilla then they're basically going "we can't move on from Diana and nothing Camilla has done can redeem the fact that she had an affair with the man who is now king." Either way, they're effectively creating morganatic marriage in Britain at a time when other houses are abolishing it.
2. There is a very real question of what Camilla's title will be in the other realms, and which ones will have to issue legislature as well - which can very easily be seen as pointless legislature that can push republican causes. While I have no problem with realms choosing to be republics, I think it's kind of stupid of the monarchy to push the realms away over something like Camilla's title.
3. If legislature is passed taking away Camilla's title as Queen Consort - her right to use her husband's title - then we're basically saying that Camilla doesn't have the same freedom as other women. If Jane Doe, upon her marriage, can chose from a number of titles and names to use in personal, professional, and legal areas, then so should her royal equivalent. Camilla has the right of any woman to chose between using her own maiden name or titles and using the names and titles she gains through her marriage, and Parliament has no need to intervene in that.
In short; if LPs are issued creating Camilla a Princess of the United Kingdom in her own right, and that's how she choses to be known then she should have that right. But Parliament shouldn't also strip her of the title Queen Consort.