The Duchess of Sussex: Family and Background

[Somebody]

well that seems fair enough to me, if he was unwell he might not have wanted a visit.. but some have said that he didn't give a reason why he didn't want her to visit. If he was ill, it seems reasonable to say "wait till Im better, or I will come to London to see you." If he just said he didn't want them to visit, without a reason, it would seem like they don't realy get on thtat well....

It's not that the wedding was the first opportunity. The fact that he hasn't met Harry in the almost 2 years that they have known each other of which they were about at least 1 1/2 years serious about their relationship and about 6 months engaged already indicates that they aren't that close. Not meeting in the last month is not that indicative to me, it's mainly all the months before in which it either was not important to Meghan or not to her father or not to both.

 

[Osipi]

We most likely will never know exactly how close Meghan is with her father and vice versa. It has always been kind of a tricky thing to begin with ever since Meghan was six and her parents divorced. Meghan grew up with living at mom's house or staying at dad's house with dad's family or going to dad's work and never really experienced her parents living together and being parents and family under one roof. Although, there are occasions where we've heard of Tom and Doria getting along pleasantly for meals and vacations with Meghan.

I'm sure that Meghan loves her father and her father loves her but its not the same as we know Meghan's relationship with her mother is like. Perhaps its the family dynamics that Meghan grew up with that attributed to her becoming such a self sufficient and independent woman able to stand on her own two feet in the world. Perhaps Meghan has always longed for the big family life with siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins by the dozens that actually acted as a united family. She surely got that with holidays with Harry's family. Harry was right on the money stating she got "the family she's never had".

I sincerely hope that at least Tom Sr. has been aware of just how his latest "image" fixing has circulated around the world in the press and none of it looks good for him at all. Its made a bad situation worse. Regardless of what Tom's relationship with his daughter was before, he would have to be living under a rock with blinders on not to see the damage he's caused. When a person does something that hurts and disappoints someone they love, forgiveness is not the answer and things will be all better with no consequences. It just doesn't work that way in real life.

 

[Muhler]

I fear he's very much aware of his image and the international press coverage.
Milking the cow for what it's worth IMO. Whether for money, or publicity or from a (in his eyes) justified reason to get even is open for debate.

Well, at least Meghan's family are making a spectacle of themselves in USA instead of running around in the UK on a day to day basis, blabbing away, so that may be a comfort.

 

[Missy-]

well of course he did. He's clearly not that close to Meghan and he either likes the attention or the money from doing an interview...…….In his defence I don't think that M is all that close to him. She never seems to have visited him during her engagement to say hello and see how he is and introduce her fiancé...

Exactly He doesn't care anymore, it's obvious to me. He hasn't had a real relationship with his daughter in years and there's no chance he's going to have one in the future for a number of reasons (logistics, health, etc). He knows this.

Whether it's the cash or the attention or both, he is going to make himself available to the media for the rest of his life or until they lose interest (which the fact that people are still discussing and analyzing the interview days later means there is general interest and therefor ad revenue $$$). He's crying all the way to the bank folks and the circus will continue for the foreseeable future.

 

[wyevale]

Instead of running around in the UK on a day to day basis, blabbing away,

No Brit that I know is remotely interested or EVEN aware of the antics of this disreputable man, although I daresay the Daily Mail readership will 'lap it up'..

 

[Missy-]

From his own mouth, he revealed to TMZ, that he's well off, and has no need to ask for money. My point was, though, that Mr Markle himself said, that Meghan and Harry wanted to visit him, and he told them not to. So the 'why hasn't Meghan visited him, why hasn't Harry seen him yet' at least partly is explained by Mr Markle refusing their visits.

When was this interview? It has to be recent because he only started talking to the press in the last few months. What's the excuse for Meghan not bringing her father and Harry together in the almost 2 years before the TMZ interview where he allegedly said that he told them to stay away? She had months and months of time to see her father before this all went totally off the rails, she/they didn't do that.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

When was this interview? It has to be recent because he only started talking to the press in the last few months. What's the excuse for Meghan not bringing her father and Harry together in the almost 2 years before the TMZ interview where he allegedly said that he told them to stay away? She had months and months of time to see her father before this all went totally off the rails, she/they didn't do that.

She doesn't need an excuse, or explain to anyone. It is, and should be a private relationship, and she shouldn't have to have any excuse for anyone.

Having said that, we are not privy to their relationship dynamics, and all relationships are always a two way street. Perhaps Meghan tried to arrange a meeting between Harry and Mr Markle, and the latter bailed out. Perhaps Meghan and her dad weren't on good terms. Perhaps her dad didn't want to meet Harry. We don't know, but to lay the blame solely on Harry and Meghan seems just naive, as there is the need for Mr Markle to contribute to the relationship, in a positive way, too.

 

[Missy-]

She doesn't need an excuse, or explain to anyone. It is, and should be a private relationship, and she shouldn't have to have any excuse for anyone.

Having said that, we are not privy to their relationship dynamics, and all relationships are always a two way street. Perhaps Meghan tried to arrange a meeting between Harry and Mr Markle, and the latter bailed out. Perhaps Meghan and her dad weren't on good terms. Perhaps her dad didn't want to meet Harry. We don't know, but to lay the blame solely on Harry and Meghan seems just naive, as there is the need for Mr Markle to contribute to the relationship, in a positive way, too.

Mr Markle didn't ask for the media intrusion, Meghan and Harry took it on willingly but he had no choice. It was their obligation to make him feel secure, protected and included in this situation.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

Mr Markle didn't ask for the media intrusion, Meghan and Harry took it on willingly but he had no choice. It was their obligation to make him feel secure, protected and included in this situation.

And they've done that based on many reports, some straight from Samantha's and Mr Markel's mouth. He refused any help. He refused any advice. He wanted to do things his way, and as an adult man, he has to face the consequences of his own actions.

Whereas Doria took on all the help, advice and support given to her, and boy, hasn't she cone out looking like a star in this situation?!

 

[Missy-]

And they've done that based on many reports, some straight from Samantha's and Mr Markel's mouth. He refused any help. He refused any advice. He wanted to do things his way, and as an adult man, he has to face the consequences of his own actions.

No, I don't accept that as fact. Her family has been told not to talk to the media, but what have H&M done to help her father adjust to this situation? Precious little it seems to me, and that seems unwise, especially with hindsight.

 

[Somebody]

What did you expect them to do (and how were they supposed to enforce that given that the help that was offered was mostly turned down)? And what do you think they have done? As you seem to think it wasn't enough.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

No, I don't accept that as fact. Her family has been told not to talk to the media, but what have H&M done to help her father adjust to this situation? Precious little it seems to me, and that seems unwise, especially with hindsight.

It's your choice to believe that Mr Markle wasn't offered the same help and advice Doria was, who chose to accept it all, and is doing extremely well. I have no reason to think that Mr Markle wasn't offered the same support, and he just chose not take it.

 

[Madame Verseau]

Sr is not a hapless man who needs to have his hand held. He was offered assistance with the media and he refused. He makes his choices, even with Sam whispering in his ear. You know what else he refused? Surgery

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.na.../1950810-4567798-view-asAMP-y5xpn8/index.html

I read this and I'm going really? And nobody can find out the name of the facility when he allegedly had the procedure? I'm still think the surgery is fishy, he may have cancelled and didn't bother to tell anyone.

 

[Osipi]

This is where the old adage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink" comes into play. From the get go, Tom was offered the same amount of support and advice as Doria was. The PTB wouldn't treat Meghan's parents differently. One chose to do whatever it took to support and be there for her daughter. The other one didn't and did things "his way" and made bad decisions which resulted in an even worse image than he started out with.

The British Royal Family, the staff of its palaces and the courtiers and advisors that surround these people may seem to have a lot of "power" but there is no way on earth they have the power to force or manipulate people to act according to how they perceive a person should act, speak or think. They also are not required to kowtow to anyone with a false sense of entitlement either due to a "family connection".

Meghan is between a rock and a hard place right now where her father is concerned. After several occasions of being blindsided by her father doing things she specifically asked him *not* to do, she walks a treacherous road with him right now where its like walking on eggshells. Perhaps its obvious that if she wants her private life to remain private, there are people she needs to pull the drawbridge up and fill the moat with piranhas to protect herself.

The fact remains that Mr. Markle had been led to a fresh water pond to drink but has instead chosen to find his own pond which, unfortunately, is filled with quicksand.

This is a private matter now between Meghan and her father and I just really hope that from here on out, it remains out of the press and out of public knowledge.

Sr is not a hapless man who needs to have his hand held. He was offered assistance with the media and he refused. He makes his choices, even with Sam whispering in his ear. You know what else he refused? Surgery

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.na.../1950810-4567798-view-asAMP-y5xpn8/index.html

This is nothing new. Its always been a fact reported that he had checked into a hospital for chest pains and then refused the options given and checked himself out against medical advice in Mexico. This was before the "fake photo" scheme was discovered. The second occurrence of heart worries resulted after the embarrassment of the "fake photos" and IIRC, quite a few places were stating that he was popping pills like candy due to the stress.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

@Osipi,

I want to quote your whole post, it was so well written, and it said everything I wanted to, but so much better!

 

[O-H Anglophile]

Whether Meghan goes she has RPOs. If Harry and Meghan were to come Sr's home would have to be secured. That's working with the US or Mexican governments and law enforcement, given the attention on this issue. Sr made himself a security risk with his big mouth, an NDA with no money for him or the family, and the tabloids would be frozen out because they won't be able to.get their money shots.

An NDA would have no affect on any paparazzi shots unless the photographer or publication had signed it.

Actually think this is a "fake news" story as I can't see the Queen or Prince Charles refusing to meet Mr. Markel. But I just don't see the big problem here. Did the Royal Family EVER invite Princess Anne or Edward's in-laws to royal events [other than proper christening of children]? It was only William who insisted that his wife's much loved by him parents not be pushed aside. He was the one that realized how important his new in-laws were to his wife and desired that closeness for his family. Apparently William and the Middletons are still close and visit each other quietly and happily. It is only the media that still likes to stir crap if they can.

The Royals are a tight run "business" and each has their role and position. They are not going to change no matter what certain outsiders feel they should do.

Sophie's parents were invited to some things and her widowed father has attended Ascot at the Queen's invitation a number of times. People are not much interested in the Rhys-Jones family and they've been left alone for the most part.

 

[DuchessMia]

Excellent post, Osipi! There’s no defense (imo) of Sr’s actions. He wasn’t left to flounder on his own. He was given the same advice and counsel as Doria. He decided he knew best how to handle the press. And still to this day, in spite of repeated warnings and requests to stay away from the press, he gives exclusive interviews. Meghan needs to keep her business private and handle her father with a long handle spoon. Lest she be burned.

 

[Madame Verseau]

Well Sam is back

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.st...ng-looks-like-monopoly-game-a3870606.html?amp

She put the suit back in the news because the guy who bought the suit wore it in public? What was suppose to.do, treat it like a collector's item, keep it on a mannequin and show it off to guests? I guess a public wearing tells the world Sr and the Markles do not deserve respect and they are jokes. Well these two points the Markles established well on their own.

 

[Missy-]

It's your choice to believe that Mr Markle wasn't offered the same help and advice Doria was, who chose to accept it all, and is doing extremely well. I have no reason to think that Mr Markle wasn't offered the same support, and he just chose not take it.

How do you know it was the same help and advice, do you even know what help/advice they were given? We only know what we read in the press and the only thing I've read as far as advice the family got was to not talk to the media. Other than being told not to talk, what support do we know was given to anyone in the family? And if that was all that was done or advised to help him cope IMO it is abysmally inadequate when dealing with the situation Mr Markle has found himself in.

 

[Somebody]

Sr is not a hapless man who needs to have his hand held. He was offered assistance with the media and he refused. He makes his choices, even with Sam whispering in his ear. You know what else he refused? Surgery

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.na.../1950810-4567798-view-asAMP-y5xpn8/index.html

I read this and I'm going really? And nobody can find out the name of the facility when he allegedly had the procedure? I'm still think the surgery is fishy, he may have cancelled and didn't bother to tell anyone.

Did somebody check the US facility he mentioned in the interview? It's not a secret. He publicly shared it during the interview.

 

[Cocoasneeze]

How do you know it was the same help and advice, do you even know what help/advice they were given? We only know what we read in the press and the only thing I've read as far as advice the family got was to not talk to the media. Other than being told not to talk, what support do we know was given to anyone in the family? And if that was all that was done or advised to help him cope IMO it is abysmally inadequate when dealing with the situation Mr Markle has found himself in.

Doria was seen with security guards a few times. The press have been told to leave her alone. She was visited by Meghan multiple times. That's what I've seen. Added the way she was treated like a VIP to and from the wedding. That's just what I've seen. Doria has faired well even though she faced the same if not worse than Mr Markle. Yet, she has managed not to go to GMB yo reveal private discussions between herself and Meghan. She managed to not talk about what's happening in Meghan's uterus.

What should have been done to Mr Markle. Without his own co-operation nothing would work.

 

[Somebody]

How do you know it was the same help and advice, do you even know what help/advice they were given? We only know what we read in the press and the only thing I've read as far as advice the family got was to not talk to the media. Other than being told not to talk, what support do we know was given to anyone in the family? And if that was all that was done or advised to help him cope IMO it is abysmally inadequate when dealing with the situation Mr Markle has found himself in.

He also shared that all kinds of arrangements were made for the wedding, including fittings in LA. Doria had protection at a certain point, so there is no reason to think he would not have been offered the same when needed. A (military) staff member was assigned the duty to take care of him and made all his travel arrangements and was regularly in touch with him in addition to Meghan herself up until the week leading up to the wedding (all per mr Markle himself), still he decided to announce to the media instead of to Meghan or palace staff that he was no longer planning to come. Knew he was part of a scam, noticed that his future son-in-law issued a statement on his behalf but he didn't own up to it being of his own doing.

Him being worried about his image was due to poor life choices he himself makes and to his brother selling him out. Did he talk to Meghan about how best to handle it when that happened? I am sure her advice was not to organize some fake papparazzi pictures... He is a grown man and in the first place responsible for hinself but it shows wisfom to ask for help and follow advice when offered. There is nothing that suggests that Meghan would refuse to support her father if he asked for help - next to the help he was already offered.

So, what is your evidence to think that her parents were treated differently in terms of support offered? What support do you think should have been offered? Why do you assume it wasn't offered given that Meghan's mom who received more media attention at first was and is doing fine?

 

[jacqui24]

Did somebody check the US facility he mentioned in the interview? It's not a secret. He publicly shared it during the interview.

I don’t know about Mexican guidelines. But what was said in that article will NOT and should NOT be said publicly by any US medical facilities without an signed release from the patient. I can’t agree with HIPPA violation under any circumstances.

 

[AlowVera]

Sr is not a hapless man who needs to have his hand held. He was offered assistance with the media and he refused. He makes his choices, even with Sam whispering in his ear. You know what else he refused? Surgery

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.na.../1950810-4567798-view-asAMP-y5xpn8/index.html

I read this and I'm going really? And nobody can find out the name of the facility when he allegedly had the procedure? I'm still think the surgery is fishy, he may have cancelled and didn't bother to tell anyone.

True the Po Pa Markle narrative just does'nt hold water. He repeatedly took the advice of the one person who has done the most to derail Meghan and her relationship. Perhaps if he had told them Samantha set up fake pictures to repair my image KP could of offered him safer media avenues that did not offer any money. The key factor in being MONEY.


His BAD decisions are not the fault of anyone except himself.

 

[Missy-]

He also shared that all kinds of arrangements were made for the wedding, including fittings in LA. Doria had protection at a certain point, so there is no reason to think he would not have been offered the same when needed. A (military) staff member was assigned the duty to take care of him and made all his travel arrangements and was regularly in touch with him in addition to Meghan herself up until the week leading up to the wedding (all per mr Markle himself), still he decided to announce to the media instead of to Meghan or palace staff that he was no longer planning to come. Knew he was part of a scam, noticed that his future son-in-law issued a statement on his behalf but he didn't own up to it being of his own doing.

Him being worried about his image was due to poor life choices he himself makes and to his brother selling him out. Did he talk to Meghan about how best to handle it when that happened? I am sure her advice was not to organize some fake papparazzi pictures... He is a grown man and in the first place responsible for hinself but it shows wisfom to ask for help and follow advice when offered. There is nothing that suggests that Meghan would refuse to support her father if he asked for help - next to the help he was already offered.

So, what is your evidence to think that her parents were treated differently in terms of support offered? What support do you think should have been offered? Why do you assume it wasn't offered given that Meghan's mom who received more media attention at first was and is doing fine?

Your entire first paragraph is beside the point, that was all done around the time of the wedding. What support was he given months ago? NONE

Go back and read my post, I never said they were treated differently, I'm saying from all appearances the support wasn't much or nearly enough in Mr Markle's case. Why does he need to ask for help? It should have been offered, how is he to know what kind of support he needs, he's never been in this situation before whereas KP/BP DO know what the press is capable of.

 

[Somebody]

Mr Markle didn't ask for the media intrusion, Meghan and Harry took it on willingly but he had no choice. It was their obligation to make him feel secure, protected and included in this situation.

Meghan and Harry didn't have a choice either. Not sure how they took it on willingly. It is part of the position Harry was born into. I don't see how they invited the racism that she had to experience. Far worse than her father ever experienced from the media.

Of course, this was brought upon him because of his daughter's choice to date a prince, so she clearly felt some responsibility for her parents as thry were thrown in a limited version of what she had been experiencing herself but that does not in any way make her responsible for the bad choices her father made that go completely against his princess' interests.

 

[AlowVera]

Well Sam is back

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.st...ng-looks-like-monopoly-game-a3870606.html?amp

She put the suit back in the news because the guy who bought the suit wore it in public? What was suppose to.do, treat it like a collector's item, keep it on a mannequin and show it off to guests? I guess a public wearing tells the world Sr and the Markles do not deserve respect and they are jokes. Well these two points the Markles established well on their own.

The Murkles tried to float the lie that Tom Sr. had to buy his own suit and pay his own tickets etc. which was a lie because they had all that handled for him. But then Tom Sr. created that awful fake picture of him getting fitted for a cheap suit for the paps when his suit was being made on Saville Road. This man was running a scam!

 

[Cocoasneeze]

Your entire first paragraph is beside the point, that was all done around the time of the wedding. What support was he given months ago? NONE

Go back and read my post, I never said they were treated differently, I'm saying from all appearances the support wasn't much or nearly enough in Mr Markle's case. Why does he need to ask for help? It should have been offered, how is he to know what kind of support he needs, he's never been in this situation before whereas KP/BP DO know what the press is capable of.

The palace, Harry and Meghan aren't mind readers, and don't know the day to day happenings in Mr Markles life. He of course should've asked for assistance when some situation happened. Doria had protection and security guards with her at times. I'm sure the same was offered to Thomas, but of course it couldn't be forced on him.

What exactly did Thomas Snr face, that security guards and not talking to the press wouldn't have solved?

 

[ladongas]

Anyone who has or has had an elderly parent knows it’s darn near impossible to tell them what to do. They assume (mostly correctly) that they have managed their own lives just fine, thank you very much, and they don’t need or want anyone telling them what to do. Been there, done that. (and now M&H have, too. Hope they find it easier to manage Charles and Camilla.)

 

[Somebody]

Your entire first paragraph is beside the point, that was all done around the time of the wedding. What support was he given months ago? NONE

Go back and read my post, I never said they were treated differently, I'm saying from all appearances the support wasn't much or nearly enough in Mr Markle's case. Why does he need to ask for help? It should have been offered, how is he to know what kind of support he needs, he's never been in this situation before whereas KP/BP DO know what the press is capable of.

You questioned whether they received the same treatment which suggests that you think they didn't. Doria clearly received more support (protection officers! At the time of the engagement, not the wedding - which I talked about in my first paragraph) than the advice not to talk to the press (which should be a no brainer but apparently even the most basic things were too hard too follow by the Markle family). Given that Doria was doing fine it seems the help they offered was more than sufficient. If he needed more he could ask for it, how was Harry to know that his father-in-law needs a baby sitter to make sure he doesn't do the most stupid things?

What is your evidence that he was not offered any other help in the months leading up to the wedding (the fitting was surely done far in advance)? He wasn't asked to list all the ways they offered help and given that he refused at least part of the help that was offered, it would be very unlikely that any help offered would ever be enough.

You still haven't shared what help they should have offered. Just claimimg they did it wrong while her mom was doing fine is unfair imo. What exactly should they have done differently and how do you know for sure that he would have done nothing to harm his daughter in that case (assuming you wouldn't suggest locking her father up for the rest of his life without a phone to protect him from himself)?