Whilst I heartedly agree with your premise for the reason(s) she gets heat and certainly believe that faux-feminists are arrogant and uninformed for the most part, I think we need to look at each case on it's merits.
OK, everyone can agree that Catherine will not be on the Balcony, neither will her husband and in-laws. They are not what the occasion is all about and, consequently, were not invited. Philip's occasion, Philip's rules, end of story.
I read an article in an American magazine about how the cruel and heartless Queen was forcing her to leave her baby, foregoing her maternity leave to attend The Trooping of the Colour. This is obviously nonsense but on some level it is actually true. She is on Maternity Leave and she was at the TOC and I do believe that the occasion is classified as "work". But the way it was being spun you wouldn't have been wrong in thinking that Catherine was pulling HM's Carriage rather than riding in one behind her.
Let's keep to the facts. Catherine's workload is light, intentionally so, and I am sure there is not a female member of the BRF who wouldn't argue that being a mother is one of the most important jobs going and you need to make the most of the first years.
However, having Nanny's, etc. allows for
limited appearances (no one is going to argue that riding in a carriage is slave labour) as opposed to no appearances. So, Catherine was "invited" to TOC (which is also marking HM birthday). She got a free pass on Royal Ascot and went to watch William play polo.
Being the devoted tennis fan she is, it is hardly surprising she's going to Wimbledon since she's been a regular there long before she married. Nothing has changed. She's not dodging work but just enjoying a kid-free day. And, I am betting she is not the only woman doing exactly that at the tennis.
It's almost as if some people view Maternity Leave as Sick Leave where, having called in sick and getting snapped at the tennis is a sacking offence.
Choosing to be a full-time mother and attending the odd engagement are not mutually exclusive. I am sure that HM wants to ensure that every royal mum gets the chance she didn't. But that does not mean Catherine withdraws totally from the public view for however long her maternity leave is.
- I agree she gets heat because she is a woman. A very high profile woman at that.
- I do not believe the perception that she is middle class is a valid factor. That particular niggle has been around since she married.
- I do not believe her choice of marriage and children factors in. She married into what will not only become a full-time job but has zero retirement. Not much to envy there.
- Whilst I agree with your assertion that faux-feminists can't stand housewives and true feminists fight for the right of choice, I do not believe that applies in this particular case either. Whatever else Catherine is, she is not a housewife! In the UK she is unique, she cannot be held as a standard for anything as she has no peers.