The Royal Forums Coat of Arms


Join The Royal Forums Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
  #1761  
Old 07-06-2016, 09:11 PM
LauraS3514's Avatar
Nobility
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: San Jose, CA, United States
Posts: 348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Denville View Post
But it wasn't helped by Charles's being more deeply in love with Camilla
And there's the crux of the issue. The Prince of Wales was 32 when he proposed to a 19 year old with stars in her eyes. Charles, knowing how he felt about Camilla, had absolutely no business proposing marriage to Diana or anyone else under any circumstances - not even with full disclosure of his love for Camilla. It was patently unfair to not only Diana, but to himself as well. That being said, there's more than enough blame to go around once the marriage was a reality; no one came out well.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #1762  
Old 07-06-2016, 09:25 PM
Heir Presumptive
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spring Hill, United States
Posts: 2,822
In most marriage there is a flower and a gardener. In this marriage there were two flowers, so no one was tended to. Charles and Diana both grew up in a less than warm environment. I think Diana decided to be huggy and kissy. What she missed. That is not Charles style. That doesn't mean that he doesn't care. They couldn't communicate. And Charles had the rigid life that he was used to. And he just needed to fill a void, which was a proper princess.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #1763  
Old 07-06-2016, 11:00 PM
CyrilVladisla's Avatar
Heir Presumptive
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Conneaut, United States
Posts: 2,890
Quote:
Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
Catherine Meyer's bio of Charles makes the point of his emotional immaturity and just how emotionally febrile he was as well. Their similarities had as much to with the breakdown of the relationship as did their differences. Meyer also mentions the generation gap between the two (Charles was born in 1948 and Diana in 1961) as a factor as well.
WreathofLaurels, Thank you for mentioning about the generation gap. Diana was actually closer in age to her brothers-in-law, Andrew and Edward.
Reply With Quote
  #1764  
Old 07-06-2016, 11:30 PM
WreathOfLaurels's Avatar
Nobility
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Posts: 372
Quote:
Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla View Post
WreathofLaurels, Thank you for mentioning about the generation gap. Diana was actually closer in age to her brothers-in-law, Andrew and Edward.
I always thought Diana would have been better off with Andrew for that reason and that they seemed a better suited couple overall.
Reply With Quote
  #1765  
Old 07-07-2016, 04:19 AM
Serene Highness
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,123
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraS3514 View Post
And there's the crux of the issue. The Prince of Wales was 32 when he proposed to a 19 year old with stars in her eyes. Charles, knowing how he felt about Camilla, had absolutely no business proposing marriage to Diana or anyone else under any circumstances - not even with full disclosure of his love for Camilla. It was patently unfair to not only Diana, but to himself as well. That being said, there's more than enough blame to go around once the marriage was a reality; no one came out well.
He did not have a choice. He had to get married fairly soon, and put aside his feeligns for Cam.
Reply With Quote
  #1766  
Old 07-07-2016, 04:24 AM
Jacknch's Avatar
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Suffolk/Budapest, Hungary
Posts: 4,925
Quote:
Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
Their similarities had as much to with the breakdown of the relationship as did their differences. Meyer also mentions the generation gap between the two (Charles was born in 1948 and Diana in 1961) as a factor as well.
I think this is what it all boils down to, when all is said and done.
Generally there can be no harm in an age gap between couples - countless marriages work perfectly well with such an age difference. But it makes me wonder had Charles and Diana met and married 10 years later, keeping the age gap mind, they may both have been mature enough to manage and understand one another's differences better.
__________________
JACK
Reply With Quote
  #1767  
Old 07-07-2016, 06:39 AM
Serene Highness
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,123
but the point was, he had to get married, before he was much past 30, and have an heir and give the country a princess to admire who would help with his duties. and he had to marry a girl with no past, so that meant a young woman.
Reply With Quote
  #1768  
Old 07-07-2016, 07:23 AM
WreathOfLaurels's Avatar
Nobility
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Posts: 372
@Jacknch - Meyer said a generation gap not an age gap. Diana was a baby boomer and Charles was born in the tail end of the 1940s. There have been marriages with similar age gaps which have been successful but those ones often mean one of the partners being very mature or coming within the same generational band. on top of that Charles always belonged more to his parents generation in many ways, which would have exacerbated things.
Reply With Quote
  #1769  
Old 07-07-2016, 12:12 PM
Osipi's Avatar
Majesty
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: On the west side of North up from Back, United States
Posts: 6,629
The more we read and realize and talk about all the major differences between Charles and Diana and the different factors that played a huge role in the downfall of a "fairy tale" marriage, the more I'm realizing that so much heartache could have been avoided had these two people taken time for a longer courtship and engagement period and really had gotten to know each other, cemented a friendship or realized that they were just too different to really make a good partnership.

Its a real life example of "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" kind of thing.
__________________
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
― John Lennon
Reply With Quote
  #1770  
Old 07-07-2016, 01:07 PM
Serene Highness
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,123
how could that have happened? The press were persecuting them, his family were urging him to get on with it. I'm sure if Diana's family were doing anyting, they wantd her future settled...
Reply With Quote
  #1771  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:04 PM
Heir Presumptive
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Torrance, United States
Posts: 2,953
Quote:
Originally Posted by Osipi View Post
The more we read and realize and talk about all the major differences between Charles and Diana and the different factors that played a huge role in the downfall of a "fairy tale" marriage, the more I'm realizing that so much heartache could have been avoided had these two people taken time for a longer courtship and engagement period and really had gotten to know each other, cemented a friendship or realized that they were just too different to really make a good partnership.

Its a real life example of "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" kind of thing.
I agree Osipi this is a perfect example of "fools rush in.." As it is so often with these types of situations, hindsight is 20-20.

Neither of them spent enough time really getting to know each other and I don't believe that either was honest regarding their interests, values, and expectations for the marriage. There were those in their circle who tried to warn them that they were incompatible. Charles should have informed Diana regarding his past with Camilla and his then current friendship with her.

While it would have been distressing to end the engagement and call of the wedding, in the long run it would have been better for both of them.
Reply With Quote
  #1772  
Old 07-07-2016, 03:58 PM
Serene Highness
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,123
I thought that Charles did tell Di that he had been in love with Cam, that she was still a good friend but that now, he loived her.(ie Diana). I simply cant beleive she didn't know.. Unless she lived in a cave, didnt' read the gossip columns or talk with anyone in her circle, where there was plenty of gossip about his close relationship with CPB... She must have known that Cam was a past girlfriend..I mean during her courtship, she was staying at Cam's house, Did she think that it was a hotel? She must have known that she was invited there because Cam was Chas' ex and good friend and was willing to host his current girlfriend...
Reply With Quote
  #1773  
Old 07-07-2016, 04:26 PM
Osipi's Avatar
Majesty
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: On the west side of North up from Back, United States
Posts: 6,629
I think Diana pretty much knew the score when meeting Charles' friends and staying at friend's homes for weekend parties etc. Perhaps a more mature person could see and accept a spouse being close friends with someone they once had a romance with and had remained close friends with and not feel threatened by it.

Personally, I believe that a lot of the problems Diana faced in the early years of marriage wasn't so much that her husband had a wandering eye or was wishing he could be with someone else but rather the fear of the possibility that this is what he would do so her solution was elimination. Diana also seems to be, to me, the type of a person that would have demanded her husband put her first in everything regardless of if it was his friends, his royal role or even his staff. She needed to be his top priority and be put on pedestal, admired and his love for her constantly being professed and visibly shown for happily ever after. She felt threatened by his friends, his staff and his position even as Prince of Wales to the point that she tried her hardest to control and manipulate things to how she wanted them to be and eventually that did turn Charles away from her in the long run as more and more, Charles was isolated from his friends, had problems conducting his life as he deemed it should be run and even had staff being fired or quitting because they couldn't work amicably with his wife. Any person in this kind of a situation would have felt smothered and controlled and by yielding to her wishes, would make it not a happy way to live.

Is it really any wonder then that Diana gradually sought the public adoration and publicity she garnered? She was getting from the public what she felt she should have been getting from her husband. It was very easy too from this perspective to eventually overshadow her husband with hoping he'd sit up and take notice of just what he was missing out on and he'd be on his knees at her feet gazing adoringly up at her once again and toe the line she wanted him to.

Real life doesn't work that way.
__________________
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
― John Lennon
Reply With Quote
  #1774  
Old 07-07-2016, 04:54 PM
HistoryGirl's Avatar
Aristocracy
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Richmond, United States
Posts: 147
I think she really did need that encouragement and attention, sad state she must have been in. But really Charles does not seem the type to really be patient with that sort of thing. I understand both sides. Her childhood, I imagine, was not filled with the love and stability that a child needs so she must have yearned for it as an adult. But that clinginess can be highly suffocating to the partner and unfair.

Like TLLK and Osipi said, could have been avoided if they'd really been honest with themselves and spent the time to truly get to know one another. Oh well, what's done is done I suppose. Two good children (and now men) came of the marriage. Unfortunately, a whole lot of hurt and embarrassment did as well.
Reply With Quote
  #1775  
Old 07-07-2016, 11:33 PM
CyrilVladisla's Avatar
Heir Presumptive
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Conneaut, United States
Posts: 2,890
When Prince Charles courted Lady Diana, he gave her a book as a Christmas present.
Reply With Quote
  #1776  
Old 07-07-2016, 11:41 PM
Osipi's Avatar
Majesty
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: On the west side of North up from Back, United States
Posts: 6,629
When they were on their honeymoon, Charles also brought along some books. He thought they could read them and discuss them. That didn't go over too well I guess.
__________________
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
― John Lennon
Reply With Quote
  #1777  
Old 07-08-2016, 12:05 AM
Serene Highness
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 1,123
Quote:
Originally Posted by HistoryGirl View Post
I think she really did need that encouragement and attention, sad state she must have been in. But really Charles does not seem the type to really be patient with that sort of thing. I understand both sides. Her childhood, I imagine, was not filled with the love and stability that a child needs so she must have yearned for it as an adult. But that clinginess can be highly suffocating to the partner and unfair.

Like TLLK and Osipi said, could have been avoided if they'd really been honest with themselves and spent the time to truly get to know one another. Oh well, what's done is done I suppose. Two good children (and now men) came of the marriage. Unfortunately, a whole lot of hurt and embarrassment did as well.
well 2 children came out of it...
sadly, Diana's magic which was so evident in the early years, and which could IMO have been used by the RF, was let go.
I can quite understand that she felt she wanted Charles' undivided attention, but I can understand that he felt restless because he had assumed she was more mature than to want him by her, all the time.. not thinking that she was very young for her age.. and he wasn't IMO the type of man to be that devoted to any one person. I think he was capable of being a reasonably affectionate husband and father, but probably not to the extent that many women would want. I think that even if Di hadn't had a neurotic need for him- other women less neurotic might also have felt that he was too busy with his work and his hobbies to be really there as a husband and father.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WreathOfLaurels View Post
I always thought Diana would have been better off with Andrew for that reason and that they seemed a better suited couple overall.
OK Andrew isn't very clever and neither was Diana but I don't believe they had anything in common. or that she would settle for the second son if she could have the first. And I don't believe she was And's type either.
Reply With Quote
  #1778  
Old 07-08-2016, 12:33 AM
Heir Apparent
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 3,188
Yes, I think Andrew, who can be a bit boisterous himself, preferred women who were life and soul of the party types. Diana could be quite witty and jokey but I don't believe she ever thought of Andrew as a prospective partner or he her.
Reply With Quote
  #1779  
Old 07-08-2016, 01:55 AM
Pranter's Avatar
Heir Apparent
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest, United States
Posts: 3,019
Andrew and Fergie were well suited in personality....they just had other issues. Can't imagine Diana meshing with Andrew, too different in a different way.


LaRae
Reply With Quote
  #1780  
Old 07-08-2016, 02:28 AM
WreathOfLaurels's Avatar
Nobility
 
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Posts: 372
I never said my idea was a good one.
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
diana princess of wales, marriage, prince charles, prince of wales, princess diana


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Charles and Diana Picture Thread Josefine Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) 434 08-12-2015 06:00 PM
Charles and Diana: Visit to Italy - 1985 jun5 Diana, Princess of Wales (1961-1997) 57 09-02-2012 10:35 PM




Popular Tags
ascot 2016 best gown best gown september 2016 best hat best outfit best outfit june 2016 catherine middleton style coup d'etat crown prince haakon crown princess mary crown princess mary fashion crown princess mette-marit current events duchess of cambridge e-mail fashion poll grand duke jean greece harald kate middleton king abdullah ii king felipe king felipe vi king willem-alexander may 2016 member introduction monarchy new zealand nobel gala norway november 2016 october 2016 opening of parliament picture of the week prince bernhard prince charles princess madeleine princess marie princess mary princess mary daytime fashion princess mary fashion princess mary hats princess stéphanie's fashion & style queen letizia queen letizia casual outfits queen letizia daytime fashion queen letizia fashion queen letizia style queen mathilde queen mathildes outfits queen maxima queen maxima casual wear queen maxima daytime fashion queen maxima fashion queen maxima hats queen maxima style queen rania royal fashion royal visits september 2016 state visit state visit to denmark state visit to france succession sweden the duchess of cambridge the duchess of cambridge casual wear the duchess of cambridge daytime fashion the duchess of cambridge fashion the duchess of cambridge hats


Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:34 PM.

Social Knowledge Networks

eXTReMe Tracker
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2016
Jelsoft Enterprises