Harry and Meghan: Relationship Musings

[jacqui24]

As as already been pointed out, Sophie and Edward married in June, so it is definitely not out of question.

Security concerns were not on the same level back then. That's one area that we don't want people to be overworked and stretched thin on.

 

[jacqui24]

I agree with this point of view. I think that I'm in the minority here because I'm not enthralled with the idea of Meghan as a royal spouse. One thing that concerns me is that 60% to 67% of second marriages fail. U.S. Divorce Rates and Statistics - Divorce Stats - Divorce Source

Not only has Meghan been divorced, but her parents are divorced. This doesn't bode well. Remember the 80s and 90s, with royal brides whose parents were divorced?

Actors often come from families where there's been family breakdown. Meghan is no exception.

I wonder whether Meghan and Harry have even been together enough to have had their first major argument? If so, how have they handled it?

I'm sure that Meghan is intelligent and kind and all those things, but I'm concerned about whether she's the right one for Harry, the future HRH Duke of Wherever.

As far as I'm concerned, a year-and-a-half of long-distance romance isn't long enough. I think that Meghan should move to the UK several months before any engagement is announced and live there as a private citizen (i.e. not somewhere sheltered like a palace) to find out whether she really wants to live there long-term.

I'd hate to see Harry and Meghan marry and have a couple of children and then split up.

I find it interesting that Meghan's parents' divorce is pointed out here as something against the success of this marriage, but not Harry's? Whether they make it or not, it's both of their efforts and failures. Or her profession, but not the royals' track of marital success in the recent decades? Yes, I'm aware there are far fewer in the history of royals than Hollywood, but they didn't always stay in wedded bliss either, royals just didn't divorce in those days. Not sure if that's actually better than a divorce.

Either way, a few more months won't change anything, especially if they already knew where this relationship was going early on in the relationship. And really, if they divorce. So what? As long as they can both behave like adults and put the children first, which Meghan has great examples to learn from, it's whatever.

 

[Nico]

I agree with this point of view. I think that I'm in the minority here because I'm not enthralled with the idea of Meghan as a royal spouse. One thing that concerns me is that 60% to 67% of second marriages fail. U.S. Divorce Rates and Statistics - Divorce Stats - Divorce Source

Not only has Meghan been divorced, but her parents are divorced. This doesn't bode well. Remember the 80s and 90s, with royal brides whose parents were divorced?

Actors often come from families where there's been family breakdown. Meghan is no exception.

I wonder whether Meghan and Harry have even been together enough to have had their first major argument? If so, how have they handled it?

I'm sure that Meghan is intelligent and kind and all those things, but I'm concerned about whether she's the right one for Harry, the future HRH Duke of Wherever.

As far as I'm concerned, a year-and-a-half of long-distance romance isn't long enough. I think that Meghan should move to the UK several months before any engagement is announced and live there as a private citizen (i.e. not somewhere sheltered like a palace) to find out whether she really wants to live there long-term.

I'd hate to see Harry and Meghan marry and have a couple of children and then split up.

Same here. Something bothers me about this story, I don't know why but something is off ...
I know all our US friends want their American Princess but i just don't buy it. Maybe later

 

[Abbigail]

Security concerns were not on the same level back then. That's one area that we don't want people to be overworked and stretched thin on.

I really doubt that's much of an issue, honestly. Lack of prep time? Perhaps. But being overworked or stretched thin? Not really. We're not talking about week-long events here.

I agree with this point of view. I think that I'm in the minority here because I'm not enthralled with the idea of Meghan as a royal spouse. One thing that concerns me is that 60% to 67% of second marriages fail. U.S. Divorce Rates and Statistics - Divorce Stats - Divorce Source

Not only has Meghan been divorced, but her parents are divorced. This doesn't bode well. Remember the 80s and 90s, with royal brides whose parents were divorced?

Actors often come from families where there's been family breakdown. Meghan is no exception.

I wonder whether Meghan and Harry have even been together enough to have had their first major argument? If so, how have they handled it?

I'm sure that Meghan is intelligent and kind and all those things, but I'm concerned about whether she's the right one for Harry, the future HRH Duke of Wherever.

As far as I'm concerned, a year-and-a-half of long-distance romance isn't long enough. I think that Meghan should move to the UK several months before any engagement is announced and live there as a private citizen (i.e. not somewhere sheltered like a palace) to find out whether she really wants to live there long-term.

I'd hate to see Harry and Meghan marry and have a couple of children and then split up.

So Meghan should uproot her whole life, give up her career, just to see if she wants to live in another country? Doesn't sound like a good idea at all to me.

I'm not sure why a second marriage for Meghan would be any more of a concern than Anne or Charles remarrying. Divorce is hardly a foreign concept for the BRF.

 

[wyevale]

In my experience Divorce seems essentially hereditary.. once it enters a family it OFTEN crops up regularly in any children. That both Prince Harry and his [likely] spouse fall into that category does concern me..

 

[Pranter]

I generally find it amusing when folks overlook the disfunction found in the BRF in order to make a point about something...somehow only the other side matters!



LaRae

 

[jacqui24]

Same here. Something bothers me about this story, I don't know why but something is off ...
I know all our US friends want their American Princess but i just don't buy it. Maybe later

Honestly, if being a divorcee is such a big issue, then Charles shouldn't have been allowed to marry a second time, or Anne for that matter.

 

[jacqui24]

In my experience Divorce seems essentially hereditary.. once it enters a family it OFTEN crops up regularly in any children. That both Prince Harry and his [likely] spouse fall into that category does concern me..

Unfortunately, you really can't pick people you fall in love with that way and guarantee it'll work.

And really, so what if they divorce down the line? No one can predict that'll happen anymore than the marriage being til death do them apart.

 

[Nico]

Honestly, if being a divorcee is such a big issue, then Charles shouldn't have been allowed to marry a second time, or Anne for that matter.

Being a divorcee is not an issue, as pointed out the BRF is quite familiar with the concept ...
I'm more worried about Meghan's personnality and her capacity to "fit" in the Firm.
But again it's a personnal opinion, and not popular with that.
Time will tell

 

[Osipi]

In my experience Divorce seems essentially hereditary.. once it enters a family it OFTEN crops up regularly in any children. That both Prince Harry and his [likely] spouse fall into that category does concern me..

I disagree. In most cases that I know of, children of divorced parents are more likely to be cautious and don't jump into marriage indiscriminately. My three kids are all happily married and these first marriages are enduring with the shortest marriage being 7 years.

It depends on the personal relationship rather than anything hereditary or the fact that there's been divorces in the family.

 

[Pranter]

The whole divorce issue is done...you have a future King, Defender of the Faith etc, divorced and married to the woman he was involved with during his marriage. There is no moral ground left to take a stand on with this issue.


LaRae

 

[jacqui24]

Being a divorcee is not an issue, as pointed out the BRF is quite familiar with the concept ...
I'm more worried about Meghan's personnality and her capacity to "fit" in the Firm.
But again it's a personnal opinion, and not popular with that.
Time will tell

How does her personality prohibit her from having less of successful marriage than others? She seems to fit in fine wherever she's gone so far. From the humble background she comes from and the elites of Toronto like the Prime Minister and his wife. I'm just trying to understand what is the specific issue here.

 

[wyevale]

so what if they divorce down the line?

You'd need to have hidden under a rock for 30 years not to see the potentially damaging repercussions of Divorce within this family.. it maybe fine for you, but it [really] isn't for Brits !

 

[Pranter]

You'd need to have hidden under a rock for 30 years not to see the potentially damaging repercussions of Divorce within this family.. it maybe fine for you, but it [really] isn't for Brits !

Really? Seems like the Brits have their own divorce rate and haven't indicated Charles should abdicate due to his marital state (past and present).


LaRae

 

[jacqui24]

You'd need to have hidden under a rock for 30 years not to see the potentially damaging repercussions of Divorce within this family.. it maybe fine for you, but it [really] isn't for Brits !

I saw the damaging repercussion for acrimonious divorce. While Anne divorcing is considered unprecedented for her time, I don't really see that doing long lasting damage to the BRF as Diana and Charles' divorce did. Because Diana and Charles decided to have a media war and splatter all of the details of their very nasty fights and issues out in the open. Forgetting the fact that they have children who will one day read this. Again I ask, what is the worst that can happen if two people can behave like adults and simply decide they don't want to live with each other anymore?

 

[Jacknch]

Let's get back on topic please - it's one thing to discuss the intimate details of a wedding when there hasn't even been an engagement yet, but to discuss potential divorce is ridiculous.

 

[Biri]

80's royal brides whose parents were divorced? Diana and Sarah.
As for Peter and Autumn Philips - parents of both of them were divorced and they are still together (on 17 May - 10th wedding anniversary).
As for Meghan's first marriage - it was only a civil one, so according to the Church it is like as if she would have never been married (same for Queen Letizia).

Offtop: Grand Duke & Grand Duchess of Luxembourg - still married.
Francois & Regine Antony - still married.
Their children - now getting a divorce.

There is no rule in these matters.

 

[Rudolph]

You know what’s coming next for this thread folks.

Does anyone know anything about Meghan’s friends outside the celebrity realm. Like from school or university days.

Trying to figure out what the guest list for a potential wedding may look like.

 

[Abbigail]

How does her personality prohibit her from having less of successful marriage than others? She seems to fit in fine wherever she's gone so far. From the humble background she comes from and the elites of Toronto like the Prime Minister and his wife. I'm just trying to understand what is the specific issue here.

Her apparent ability to fit in wherever she goes, her experience with the media, being in front of the camera, are all major pluses, I think. And the fact that she has already lived a life with professional and personal ups and downs tells me that she is more likely to consider all the pros and cons in making such a huge decision as marrying into the BRF. Honestly, if I did have some doubts or concerns they would more so be directed at Harry and whether or not he is really ready to settle down. But even then, I think it's more likely that he is looking forward to married life and fatherhood. He has said so himself.

 

[Alliec76]

I really doubt that's much of an issue, honestly. Lack of prep time? Perhaps. But being overworked or stretched thin? Not really. We're not talking about week-long events here.



So Meghan should uproot her whole life, give up her career, just to see if she wants to live in another country? Doesn't sound like a good idea at all to me.

I'm not sure why a second marriage for Meghan would be any more of a concern than Anne or Charles remarrying. Divorce is hardly a foreign concept for the BRF.

Yeah I have to agree. There is no way she should quit her job and leave everything she knows to just be someone's girlfriend. Where would she live? Where would she work?Everyone is not the same and some relationships just naturally progress faster than others. There are no guarantees in life.

As for the whole Visa=citizenship issue, people (and by people I just mean people in general no one specific) are going to have to decide what bothers them more. Someone who is married to a member of the British Royal Family and fast tracked their citizenship so that they are a British citizen once married. Or someone who marries into the British Royal Family and will be undertaking duties as a member of the family while going through the citizenship process that every other spouse has to take, which I believe according to the immigration website is lengthy. Like you have to be married 3 years before you can qualify for citizenship. If they go the latter route then that means she's undertaking royal duties while not a citizen. So something is going to have to give, because I don't see her getting married and then not being able to undertake duties for 3 years. So the public needs to figure out what bothers them more because they can't have it both ways. Personally? I don't think it's that big of a deal. I think she should be judged by the work she does. But I'm also one who doesn't see an issue with dual citizenship. As long as she's a British citizen and carrying out her duties appropriately, I don't think her American citizenship is relevant. Because whether she were to renounce it or not she's still American. And the people who have issues with her are going to have issues with her regardless. She'll be accused of trying to be something she's not or being disingenuous. I think she should just put her head down and do her work, whatever it ends up being

 

[Somebody]

Given that royalty are engaged in a sort of servitude (an enormous amount of personal freedom is sacrificed to inhabit that world of perceived 'privilege' and status) I think a visa fast track for the girlfriend of a prince just makes sense. Royals have hard enough of a time snagging suitable/willing partners, why give them grief over a visa process? Fast track it, I say!

Most countries don't have a formal 'fast track' procedure: the USA do (I used it myself) - I used to call it 'legal bribery': you (or your future employer most of the times) pay(s) a significant amount of money and they process your visa faster.

 

[Somebody]

As for Meghan's first marriage - it was only a civil one, so according to the Church it is like as if she would have never been married (same for Queen Letizia).

I will keep reminding everyone that this is not the case: the Anglican church recognizes every marriage as valid; a church wedding is not required for the marriage to be valid. So, in the eyes of the relevant church Meghan was married and is now divorced!

It is only the Roman Catholic (and Orthodox Churches) in which marriage is considered a sacrament and, therefore, a civil marriage awarded a different status.

 

[Mbruno]

Becoming a British citizen if your spouse is a British citizen

I'm pretty sure Meghan's naturalization process will be somehow fast-tracked though as was the case with Mary in Denmark and Máxima in the Netherlands. The only question is if there is any legal mechanism already in place to do so, or if new special legislation or regulations will be needed.

 

[Alliec76]

So here's my concern with the Abbey for Meghan and Harry. It's so big. Doesn't it hold over 1,000 people. I just don't see them wanting to invite that many people. Especially since it won't be a state wedding with a lot of "have to invites". I'm seeing them maybe being fine with 500-600. Edward's was about 650 I think and Charles and Camilla were 800. And he's going to be king! What would a pared down wedding look like at the Abbey? I don't want it to seem empty.(Here's where I put in my plug for St. George's again! LOL!) I agree not balcony kiss would be kind of a bummer. And I do think their wedding is going to be a big deal media wise, and I do worry about Windsor being able to handle that huge onslaught. It's a small city. But I'm just having a hard time seeing what a wedding with less pageantry than William and Kate's will look like in the Abbey.

 

[jacqui24]

So here's my concern with the Abbey for Meghan and Harry. It's so big. Doesn't it hold over 1,000 people. I just don't see them wanting to invite that many people. Especially since it won't be a state wedding with a lot of "have to invites". I'm seeing them maybe being fine with 500-600. Edward's was about 650 I think and Charles and Camilla were 800. And he's going to be king! What would a pared down wedding look like at the Abbey? I don't want it to seem empty.(Here's where I put in my plug for St. George's again! LOL!) I agree not balcony kiss would be kind of a bummer. And I do think their wedding is going to be a big deal media wise, and I do worry about Windsor being able to handle that huge onslaught. It's a small city. But I'm just having a hard time seeing what a wedding with less pageantry than William and Kate's will look like in the Abbey.

Charles' wedding at St. George is a religious blessing, not a wedding wedding if people understand what I'm saying. So you can hardly say if a future king only had 800 people, his son shouldn't have more. William did have more at his wedding. There will still be people that needs to be invited even if they aren't close personal friends to the couple as it is still a royal wedding. It'd hardly seem empty. I think given that Harry is a full time working royal and it's his first marriage. WA isn't so out of question, just that St. George might actually have a shot, unlike William's wedding.

 

[Rudolph]

The Cambridges had 1900 people at their wedding. Representatives from the various different religions, heads of the military, various members of the government and cabinet and civil service.

Harry and Meghan probably won’t need as big a venue because they won’t need the same list of flunkies at their wedding.

 

[Alliec76]

Becoming a British citizen if your spouse is a British citizen

I'm pretty sure Meghan's naturalization process will be somehow fast-tracked though as was the case with Mary in Denmark and Máxima in the Netherlands. The only question is if there is any legal mechanism already in place to do so, or if new special legislation or regulations will be needed.

Thanks for this. I got part of it wrong. I thought you had to be married 3 years (which I realize now makes no sense) you have to have lived in Britain for 3 years. So unless the BRF wants to make Meghan and Harry wait to marry for 3 years (uhmmm no) or they let them get married next year like we suspect, but what? keep her from doing official royal duties for 3 years until she can meet the residency requirement (uhmmm no again) there aren't many other options. Either fast track citizenship or accept that she'll be doing her royal duties for a few years without being an official British citizen. People will be mad either way, but I think the fast track citizenship is the best option.

 

[jacqui24]

Thanks for this. I got part of it wrong. I thought you had to be married 3 years (which I realize now makes no sense) you have to have lived in Britain for 3 years. So unless they BRF wants to make Meghan and Harry wait to marry for 3 years (uhmmm no) or they let them get married next year like we suspect, but what? keep her from doing official royal duties for 3 years until she can meet the residency requirement (uhmmm no again) there aren't many other options. Either fast track citizenship or accept that she'll be doing her royal duties for a few years without being an official British citizen. People will be made either way, but I think the fast track citizenship is the best option.

In addition to performing royal duties, she'll be assigned her own RPO, which is paid by the taxpayers. Some already get on their soapbox about things that are paid through the Duchy of Cornwall and such, imagine the fit those same people would throw about paying for security of someone who is not British. Yea, that's a no go.

 

[Alliec76]

In addition to performing royal duties, she'll be assigned her own RPO, which is paid by the taxpayers. Some already get on their soapbox about things that are paid through the Duchy of Cornwall and such, imagine the fit those same people would throw about paying for security of someone who is not British. Yea, that's a no go.

Exactly! Which is why the British public is going to need decide what bothers them more, because those are the only 2 options I see. I think people will mumble about a fast track for a while and then move on.

I'm not against the Abbey, it just doesn't feel like them to me. (Like I know these people! LOL!) I just don't see Harry needing to or wanting to invite as many people as William. I just want Meghan and Harry to have a really nice wedding and if it's the Abbey, but pared down, I'm afraid it might seem lacking. Maybe I just can't envision it.

 

[TLLK]

I think given that Harry is a full time working royal

I was under the impression that Harry was still considered a part timer and that the rest of his time is spent performing volunteer work with injured service personnel. Was there an announcement from KP?