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  #281  
Old 06-30-2011, 08:27 AM
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Even the Guardian thinks Sarah's new book warrants a review...

The wisdom of Sarah Ferguson | Life and style | The Guardian

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  #282  
Old 06-30-2011, 10:23 AM
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If Andrew chucks her out, who's going to look after her? Beatrice! That's why he can't chuck her out. Sarah is too mentally unhinged to look after herself. Andrew said it all at his 50th birthday party...he has three children.

I thought about this a lot lately. I have no proof but I think Andrew is still in love with her, and would not "chuck her out" even if there were no Beatrice and Eugenie.

I don't think it bothers him that she tells the world how great he is or how much she still loves him and regrets the way their marriage ended...in the least. I don't think it makes him uncomfortable that she trashes the "grey men" at the Palace who made her life hell...he resents them just as much as she does, but he will not or cannot speak out against these apparently all powerful Royal flunkies. So he let's Sarah say it for him.

BUT...I do not think he necessarily wants to remarry her. Why should he? He has her in his life, probably forever, if he wants. He can also roam the world and squire beautiful women to his heart's desire. He has both the family, the security AND the freedom.

Sarah is at Royal Lodge and in Andrew's life because that is where he has always wanted her....and I don't think it's all about a sense of obligation or duty or guilt either. He loves the woman, and as hard as it is for people looking at it from the outside to understand, he wants her in his life.
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  #283  
Old 06-30-2011, 12:14 PM
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I agree with you, Moonmaiden...but lately I've been thinking about the statement "love is blind." I remember reading, after the cash for access sting, that Andrew forgave Sarah because he thought she'd been set-up.

Right now, Sarah is traveling around the world giving her own spin on the scandal and her financial problems (she's a victim, she did nothing wrong). At the same time, she writes that Andrew knows her like no one else knows her. She praises him, calls him her champion, etc. We hear absolutely nothing from Andrew; but his silence - and the fact that he paid off Sarah's debts - suggests that he agrees with this version of the story. At the least, he appreciates the flattery. If you look at it from Andrew's perspective, Sarah was unfaithful to him and divorced him. On some level, Andrew must have felt rejected/like he failed as a husband. Now the shoe is on the other foot: Sarah needs Andrew and praises him to the skies. So he keeps bailing her out and supporting her, because he knows he's earning her approval.

I do agree that Andrew actually loves Sarah and doesn't want to see the worst in her..."love is blind." If he were just motivated by concern for his daughters/obligation, you'd think he would eventually step in and tell Sarah that she has a problem. But I don't think Andrew has ever told Sarah she needs to change.

I disagree that he's happy with the situation at Royal Lodge, though. On some level, Andrew has to know that he has a problem on his hands - that Sarah is increasingly dependent on him and that it's an impossible situation because they can't remarry. But I think somehow he and Sarah are both in denial about her problems. I sometimes wonder how far Sarah can push Andrew...but since Andrew has shown that he'll stand by Sarah no matter what, I wonder if Sarah will end up taking them both down together.
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  #284  
Old 06-30-2011, 12:19 PM
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Even though I really don't think Sarah is in residence at Royal Lodge that often as she seems to be globe hopping a lot of times and spending time now in the US promoting her new book, I would think that any adult would really be bothered by the fact that they don't have a place of their own to call home. With this in mind, I think it would be wise for Sarah to actually put down roots somewhere that she call call her own. That would greatly give her a sense of stability and a feeling of independence that she can retreat to her own world when she needs to and take the burden off of Andrew and her girls. Perhaps one of Sarah's deep rooted fears is actually being alone with herself. I don't know.

Going through different websites, I found one article from the Daily Mail dated from February of 2010 which tells how poorly her last book release of the "Little Red" series did. The sales so far of "Finding Sarah" I couldn't find any information on so obviously its not hitting the best seller lists. Once all the publicity of the series and the book has died down, she's going to need some kind of a concrete plan to pull her life together.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...copies-UK.html
Regarding the bolded part: in my own experience this is a VERY true statement. A number of years ago I sold my house and was building a townhouse which had not yet been completed. Some friends who had a small apartment attached to their home offered it up to me for six weeks. I cannot explain the feeling I had the day the house sale was completed and I realized that I was "homeless" I had to really have a good internal conversation with myself that it was only temporary and that I did, in fact, have a place to lay my head. But it was a very strange feeling sitting there in my car and feeling like that was all I had at the moment. Silly, I know, but I cannot conceive of how Sarah must feel, but then, she has always depended on others to take care of her and provide for her so maybe she does not feel it so very much. I think that having a home of her own where she could just snuggle in would be great for her. I think you are right in that she really is very frightened of beng by herself. It's too bad she has never experienced that sense of independence and it's pleasures.
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  #285  
Old 06-30-2011, 12:26 PM
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.but since Andrew has shown that he'll stand by Sarah no matter what, I wonder if Sarah will end up taking them both down together.
Neither the queen nor Charles will allow that. For them he is the son/ baby brother and they'll do all they can to protect and support him. Otherwise Andrew would have been told lon ago that he should cut off Sarah.

I mean there is not much more that can happen at that point. I doubt Sarah has the opportunities to run up debts like she did previously, she has no more staff to pay, so it's "just" her personal spending which should be controllable. After Oprah, she has gone public with all potential scandals she could come up with and has lost all reputation which those people who care about things like that and maybe even gained some more fans, who knows?

So for the BRF, the lowest point is surely reached. At least I hope so.
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  #286  
Old 06-30-2011, 01:10 PM
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I disagree that he's happy with the situation at Royal Lodge, though. On some level, Andrew has to know that he has a problem on his hands - that Sarah is increasingly dependent on him and that it's an impossible situation because they can't remarry. But I think somehow he and Sarah are both in denial about her problems. I sometimes wonder how far Sarah can push Andrew...but since Andrew has shown that he'll stand by Sarah no matter what, I wonder if Sarah will end up taking them both down together.
I don't think Andrew is in denial, he can't possibly be that thick headed. I believe he's just being the spoiled boy he's been raised to be. The second son gets all the privileges and none of the responsibilities. He doesn't care what is happening because Mummy doesn't spank him so he'll do what he wants and his ex will do the same and there will be no consequences cause, "I'm a Prince and that means I'm ten feet tall, super fast and bulletproof."



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Neither the queen nor Charles will allow that. For them he is the son/ baby brother and they'll do all they can to protect and support him. Otherwise Andrew would have been told lon ago that he should cut off Sarah.
I get the feeling that Charles might. Remember he has no say in this, not one that carries the actual axe as of yet. The Queen may let Andrew get by but Charles will likely put his foot down and chuck Sarah out. With all the talk of slimming down the royal family, Andrew might not have a choice when his swank easy life and that of his daughters is threatened. He'd still do what he could to help Sarah but I have no doubt that he'd stop well short of derailing his own gravy train.
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  #287  
Old 06-30-2011, 02:02 PM
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[QUOTE=Catherine J;1275111]I feel so sad for Sarah.

I am sure my upbringing was not unique in that we were discouraged from "rubbernecking" at roadside accidents or trash talking anyone that was clearly "not right". The refrain was "just look away".

I find myself wanting to look away from Sarah - as if witnessing her ... er ... decline ... is somehow bad manners or exposes my own character as being a little trashy. I had the same problem when clips/photos of Brittney Spears would show up on the news or appear on magazine covers. I *wanted* to look because there is an odd sort of fascination with watching someone fall apart at the seams - but it felt wrong.

Sarah is living in the aftermath of her collective decisions. She is sleeping in the bed she made and treading the road she paved ... which means that watching her try to "understand" and "analyze" her mistakes and missteps is ... like listening to a seventeen year old tell you why they did not come home on time (some friend needed assistance, I needed to help them!), tried that funky smelling hand-rolled (everyone else was doing it and it's NOT addictive, Mom!), failed math (the teacher did not get me, did not understand my math needs) and spent all their allowance at the arcade (I got playing and before I knew it ... they should NOT make those games so addictive!).


I agree. I too was raised not to rejoice and someone else's sorrow. But the truth is that is "reality TV" is based on watching a trainwreck. Even when it starts off with everyone friends-the ratings go up when the main stars either fight or have a 'nervous breakdown'. And what is more enticing than to watch the once high and mighty fall apart.

I still think that Sarah is being manipulated. But she seems to enjoy the attention and the show-no matter how embarrassing for her kids or her extended family.

I liked your analogy of comparing her behavior to a teenager. You must have a camera aimed at my 15 year old-" Its not my fault". But of course with kids you don't let that slide-you hold them accountable and they have to face the consequences. It's the the only way to help them grow up. Sarah's parents seem they were off into their own needs (I still question the abuse allegations), so at that critical time she didnt have someone to take her to task.

Still she's 50 now. She needs to grow up and say I did it -let's move on.
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  #288  
Old 06-30-2011, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Moonmaiden23 View Post
I thought about this a lot lately. I have no proof but I think Andrew is still in love with her, and would not "chuck her out" even if there were no Beatrice and Eugenie.
I disagree. I think she's got something on him and the BRF and uses it as leverage. I do not have any proof, just a hunch. I am wondering if after Prince Philip and HM dies (may that be a long time in the future!) that King Charles will have enough of her and stop the situation.
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  #289  
Old 06-30-2011, 02:05 PM
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Originally Posted by sliver_bic View Post
I don't think Andrew is in denial, he can't possibly be that thick headed. I believe he's just being the spoiled boy he's been raised to be. The second son gets all the privileges and none of the responsibilities. He doesn't care what is happening because Mummy doesn't spank him so he'll do what he wants and his ex will do the same and there will be no consequences cause, "I'm a Prince and that means I'm ten feet tall, super fast and bulletproof."





I get the feeling that Charles might. Remember he has no say in this, not one that carries the actual axe as of yet. The Queen may let Andrew get by but Charles will likely put his foot down and chuck Sarah out. With all the talk of slimming down the royal family, Andrew might not have a choice when his swank easy life and that of his daughters is threatened. He'd still do what he could to help Sarah but I have no doubt that he'd stop well short of derailing his own gravy train.

Yes, I can't see this situation continuing once Charles becomes king. I don't think Charles is heartless but it's not his son and grandchildren in question the way it is currently for the queen.

I think Andrew probably feels both love and obligation towards Sarah; he may also think he needs to act as a sort of buffer between Sarah and his daughters... as someone else pointed out, if Sarah didn't have Andrew to lean on and support her she'd probably move on to Beatrice and Eugenie. It seems to me that both these young women already have more of a burden than anyone should at their age in looking after their mother, but surely things would get much worse if their father removed himself from the equation.
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  #290  
Old 06-30-2011, 05:18 PM
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I disagree. I think she's got something on him and the BRF and uses it as leverage. I do not have any proof, just a hunch. I am wondering if after Prince Philip and HM dies (may that be a long time in the future!) that King Charles will have enough of her and stop the situation.

Too funny! Interesting theory but I think if she really "had something" on all of them they'd pay her hush money out of fear of getting whatever it is revealed to the world!
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  #291  
Old 06-30-2011, 06:24 PM
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Too funny! Interesting theory but I think if she really "had something" on all of them they'd pay her hush money out of fear of getting whatever it is revealed to the world!
I don't think the BRF could trust her to keep her mouth shut. And I don't think with her money managment skills (or lack thereof) that she'd keep whatever hush money she'd get, she'd blow it and be back for more. Maybe she doesn't have anything on the BRF that we all don't already know, however, IMO that Chinese Family has been rearing it's head again. You know the family: Sum Ting Wong.
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  #292  
Old 06-30-2011, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Russophile View Post
I disagree. I think she's got something on him and the BRF and uses it as leverage. I do not have any proof, just a hunch. I am wondering if after Prince Philip and HM dies (may that be a long time in the future!) that King Charles will have enough of her and stop the situation.

Heh.

I doubt it. But supposing you're right - then they should just let her carry on - her credibility is so strained that no matter what she said, who would take it seriously beyond the fringe element that sees a conspiracy everywhere, anyway.

I think Andrew is much like Charles - each married a woman too emotionally needy for them ... too "new age" in almost every way possible. I think he does not know what to do with her and the specter of Diana's last years and demise probably colors his sense of obligation. Perhaps in some small corner of his mind he wonders whether bringing her into the royal family was not a good thing for her.

I think it's a tragic case of a man trying to be noble to the mother of his daughters and live up to some part of his obligation to them and her - and coming off like an enabler because he chooses the high road. We do not know what their actual situation is - or how Andrew feels - all we have is Sarah's point of view - which is, at best, that of an unreliable narrator.

I think it's tragic and it's a shame it has to be played out on the world stage, really.

I am no Sarah fan but one can see how someone unaccustomed to the life of royalty (aristocracy does not count) could find it overwhelming and "depersonifying". It seemed to affect both Sarah and Diana in the same way, in some respects - neither one seemed to understand the irony of the celebrity it affords. One can be the biggest celebrity in the royal family and one can seem to become powerful in their own right - but no one person is bigger than the monarchy. It is an institution - the people inside it are the custodians. It has its own way of dealing with those that bite the hands that feeds them. Sort of like Emily Dickinson might say " ... Unmoved, she notes the chariot's pausing --- At her low gate; --- Unmoved, an emperor is kneeling --- Upon her mat." (The Soul Selects Her Own Society)

They forgot from whence came their celebrity.

Anyway - I think Andrew has a rough deal of it and I feel sorry for the two daughters.
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  #293  
Old 06-30-2011, 11:38 PM
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I was thinking of an interview that Beatrice gave at the time of Andrew's 50th birthday. No one really knows the nature of Andrew and Sarah's relationship...but I would certainly think that Beatrice would know. She made a statement to the effect that it would be nice if her Dad found someone and remarried, because he was always alone. But it was nice for her, because she got to spend more one on one time with him. Doesn't sound like the story that Sarah is always spinning...but then, Beatrice's feet are firmly on the ground!

I think Andrew has had a rough deal of it too. You often hear that Andrew is the Queen's favourite...maybe, it's because her heart breaks for him.
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  #294  
Old 07-01-2011, 12:26 AM
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A mother often gives most of her attention to the children who has the most difficult life; and, particular during this past year or so, that's Andrew.


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I think Andrew has had a rough deal of it too. You often hear that Andrew is the Queen's favourite...maybe, it's because her heart breaks for him.
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  #295  
Old 07-08-2011, 04:41 PM
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It's been several days since anyone posted here and Sarah has been doing lots of interviews, plus the next installment of OWN's series should air soon - a couple of quotes which I have gleaned:
From a breakfast/book talk in NYC "I would love a younger man, 100 per cent, I don't want some dusty old bore. It would drive me nuts."
From Parade re: cash/access "I think it saved me"
and from Pop Eater interview to people who know me "I'm one of the purest hearts ever...to live this, which is not me."
also from Pop eater on that same subject "I didn't sell access to him."
More tidbits from the Pop eater article (6/30/11)
"The girl's have become very used to the extraordinary ostracization of me..." (about not being invited to BRF Christmases and/or W & C's wedding.) She opines that it is not QE2 doing it, as QE2 is a wonderful grandmother to the girls, but "I think it's more the Prince of Wales and the young William Wales thought it's better not to have me."
"In the old days if you left the royal family they beheaded you....now they discredit you."
"[b]ecause of my and Diana's mistakes Catherine and Sophie have gotten it right."

Two things strike me -
First everything and one revolves around Sarah in her mind. Really, she is personally responsible and deserves credit for Sophie and Catherine 'getting it right'? If you are looking for a narcissist count how often they say I, me, etc..
Second, she often thinks dysfunctionally - eg: she thinks she can read other people's minds - things like the girls love me, the Queen isn't behind the avoiding me, but POW, etc. are, Diana intended to reconcile with me, Andrew thinks this about me, everyone thinks that about me. Again she assumes others are thinking certain things and then advances their 'thought' to buttress her own point.
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Old 07-08-2011, 09:27 PM
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I thought Andrew was her soul mate? But she would like a younger man? If it is the POW putting up the barriers she will have a long time to wait if she wants to remarry Andrew. Cause he would need to give permission wouldn't he when he is in charge? She has a pure heart guess it was on holiday when she tried to sell access. I think she has in part shown Sophie and Catherine what not to do but it wasn't on purpose and they are different women who probably wouldn't have done half the stuff she did anyway. Diana didn't talk to her for over a year before she died so she clearly wasn't in any hurry to make friends with her. For someone with such low self esteem she sure thinks a lot of herself! The next Finding Sarah is this weekend I wonder if the Princesses will show up? It's the fourth one so she should be showing some sort of improvement going by these recent interviews she doesn't seem to have learnt too much. Still blaming others and not admitting her own bad behaviour!
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Old 07-08-2011, 09:32 PM
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Yep, being pure of heart led to sucking toes and access for cash deals ..... whatta gal.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:42 PM
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Yep, being pure of heart led to sucking toes and access for cash deals ..... whatta gal.
I'm glad that I didn't have a mouthful of coffee in my mouth when I read your post...I'm still laughing.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:45 PM
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We all have a less-than-noble side. Anyone who describes herself as having a pure heart has a problem.

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Yep, being pure of heart led to sucking toes and access for cash deals ..... whatta gal.
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Old 07-08-2011, 10:52 PM
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Mermaid, you put your finger on just what bothers me so much about Sarah - she works disclaimers like that one into her speech, frequently. Sometimes, her self-descriptions seem so far off base...

I'm still stunned each time her show starts and she coos about her amazingly happy childhood (the one where her mother abandoned her and then was decapitated; the one where she was fed sweets but not loved, etc.)

It's as if she isn't watching herself at all, can't see herself. She certainly doesn't seem to have the ordinary methods of self-critique that most people have available (I think even Dr. Phil is struggling with that aspect of her - he's a lot the same, but he's not used to someone outdoing him in that regard).
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