Hello, I have devoured every part of this fascinating thread and whilst I'm very conscious that most of you know much more than I about N and A, I nevertheless would like to share some thoughts with you.
I find it hard to see these people as autocrats, rather I see them as floundering through their world attempting to maintain the masks of what others believed they were, neither of them prepared or equipped for the position in which they found themselves. To find the reasons we must go back in time. Nicky's parents were powerful, confident people, probably, in part due to having many years of apprenticeship before they were cloaked by the heavy mantle of Tsardom. His uncles, strongminded and opinionated young men who N may have heroworshipped throughout his childhood, so with all these huge personalities around him it is likely that there was little room for him to express his own thoughts which may even have been dismissed as not worth listening to, thus we should not be surprised to learn, that as an adult his opinions were those of the last person with whom he had spoken. It is this (possible) scenario that shows us the type of personality of his future bride. He wouldn't have coped with a girl who had no opinions of her own, a girl for whom he had to do the thinking. In Alix he undoubtedly saw something he recognised and felt safe with, it has been labelled as many things in this thread - meddling, interfering bossing but the other side of the coin is helping, caring, encouraging all of which he would have experienced in his childhood and were very necessary to his somewhat diffident personality. To him, Alix was probably the part of him that had been missing, she was his support. they were perfect for each other because of their imperfections. As to Alix, a lonely, bereft little girl whose originally sunny disposition had too early been quelled by family losses, her new role model becomes her aging Granny who whilst as Queen was the ultimate Imperatrix, as a woman was entirely different, possibly feeling more at home with her servants than with the higher echelons, domestically a haus frau who I imagine saw no need to cover her little granddaughter in the trappings of luxury, indeed, when a clearly excited Alix showed off the jewels Nicky bestowed on her upon their engagement Granny admonished her not to become proud!!!! I feel that what the Russians mistook for aloofness was the crippling shyness and insecurity which stained her face and neck an unattractive crimsom. There was no easing in period for Alix, no time for her and Nicky to learn the ropes together, to mutually find their strengths and weaknesses, no dipping toes in water.They were thrown in at the deep end and expected to know what to do - and who was there who could possibly tell a Tsar what to do? Well, for starters there was his esteemed and well loved mother who was probably loth to give up her position and then there were his uncles who might have been trying to curry favour or genuinely trying to assist an absolute novice. His family members may well have realised that he was illprepared and unfit for the task.......but the loudest voice is likely to have been that of his wife who, I imagine would be damned if she would sit by and hear others telling her beloved husband how to rule!!! I wonder if it was a relief to him when Alix made her first show of strength? She would have known how to be a strong woman because her mother and grandmother would have demonstrated it but they had years of experience on their side......
.......and so we have this ideally suited couple who emotionally are equipped for nothing more arduous than the tasks of family and domesticity thrown centrestage into one of the most difficult political periods of the 20th century. Our times would wish for a happier finale - their time dictated that it wasn't to be.