The Duke and Duchess of Sussex and Family, News and Events 9: August 2023 -


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Sorry folks I was asking about the Invictus Games website, I cannot see any reference to Meghan and Harry in Nigeria, I expected them to have a report and photographs showing the highlights of the visit, especially the injured veterans and / or the sporting feature as that is surely IG related.
That is very interesting.
 
I don’t think they sanctioned it. I don’t think, for security reasons, Nigeria is an option to hold the IG. They were invited there and, I am not insulting Nigeria, the sometimes dodgy political reputation of the country would preclude an organisation like Ig from wanting to be involved. If the offices dealt with it, it trip never would have happened. Harry and Meghan just wanted to go.

I wonder what the succession plan for Invictus is.
 
I don’t think they sanctioned it. I don’t think, for security reasons, Nigeria is an option to hold the IG. They were invited there and, I am not insulting Nigeria, the sometimes dodgy political reputation of the country would preclude an organisation like Ig from wanting to be involved. If the offices dealt with it, it trip never would have happened. Harry and Meghan just wanted to go.

I wonder what the succession plan for Invictus is.
Yep. They would have gone whether Invictus wanted them to or not.
 
Very interesting development and implications in the visa application suit.

And this is a comment to that article:

“I think the public has a right to know if he's here on a diplomatic visa. We could be paying for security and other benefits. Plus you can't work here on a diplomatic visa and he's earned millions here in the US. the public has a right to know.”
On what kind of type of visa was Megan allowed to come to the UK?
 
I make a point not to read that type publication, and this is long before this drama. They also had a Kate Hudson cover for the same timeframe, which tells me the exclusive deal was a special arrangement. We can draw our own conclusions.

IG Germany and Nigeria are not separate. I gave the German example to support my point that she has co-opted Harry’s project. Regarding local government praising them, who hasn’t praised them? They are very good at getting people to praise them. The irony is that is mainly due to Harry’s family position.

Let me tell you who didn’t praise them, and I’ll give this person’s comment more weight because his interaction was not on a limited logistical basis. The Spotify executive (don’t remember his name) paid for a product, and walked away calling them: you all know the rest. Now I know I will be told I’m biased, to put it politely, but for me looking only at the surface isn’t all that productive. I want to see truth, authenticity, integrity, and above all, I want to see proof of the worthiness of people requesting (being polite again) the praise and adulation.

For them and for us to truly understand what’s really happening here, we must do a cause and effect analysis, but many many PR firms later (very skilled people by the way, and the best in the business), all I have seen is a lot of mental gymnastics.
 
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When I watched the video this is exactly how I took her words. She was saying the Nigerian youth need to love their heritage. And she used Meghan as an example as someone coming there to find a connection, because if she can love her “home” then they should too.

It really is a shame people who hate Meghan purposely twisted her words. Also says a lot that the overall UK media (who never turns down a chance to highlight negativity) basically ignored it.

Anyways glad they had a successful trip.
 
Hate is as useful an argument as woke is, which to me means I’m not listening and I don’t want to learn or understand. The definition is insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I don’t remember whose quote that is, but I think it’s apt here. Meghan is as Nigerian as Harry is, but I’m not going to argue this one because she’s free to be whatever she wants…

Edit to add: are those quotes from the First Lady herself?
 
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When I watched the video this is exactly how I took her words. She was saying the Nigerian youth need to love their heritage. And she used Meghan as an example as someone coming there to find a connection, because if she can love her “home” then they should too.

It really is a shame people who hate Meghan purposely twisted her words. Also says a lot that the overall UK media (who never turns down a chance to highlight negativity) basically ignored it.

Anyways glad they had a successful trip.
When I heard the video and saw that MM was not specifically named, I expected that Senator Tinubu's words would be interpreted as a criticism of MM. I also believed that even if there was displeasure with MM's attire during the visit, Senator Tinibu would be diplomatic and intelligent enough to avoid direct and public criticism of MM, the wife of a member of the BRF. In my opinion, however, MM's style of dress was inappropriate on several occasions (particularly the beige semi-backless and the cream halter style dresses), so it was easy for so-inclined press to interpret a connection. One can only speculate if the Senator intended to subtly critique MM's dress; she made her remarks soon after the visit, and brought MM's name up in another part of the speech--an interesting juxtaposition.

To be fair, the Martin Robinson of the Daily Mail stated that "the First Lady did name Meghan in her speech but was not criticising the Duchess" (May 27, 2024 Nigeria's First Lady slams influence of US stars after Meghan's visit).

In my view the Duchess opened the door to criticism by making a few ill-advised fashion choices. Even before Senator Tinubu made her speech, people were criticizing the Duchess' dress. Sure there are Meghan "haters" out there, and there are elements of the press who act despicably, but in my view much of people's negative reaction to some of Meghan's Nigeria attire was based on genuine shock and/or disapproval of her choices rather than a pattern of "hating". There is a difference between criticism and "hating", especially when the Duchess makes what some might call "bold" fashion choices.
 
Hate is as useful an argument as woke is, which to me means I’m not listening and I don’t want to learn or understand. The definition is insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I don’t remember whose quote that is, but I think it’s apt here. Meghan is as Nigerian as Harry is, but I’m not going to argue this one because she’s free to be whatever she wants…

Edit to add: are those quotes from the First Lady herself?

...

In my view the Duchess opened the door to criticism by making a few ill-advised fashion choices. Even before Senator Tinubu made her speech, people were criticizing the Duchess' dress. Sure there are Meghan "haters" out there, and there are elements of the press who act despicably, but in my view much of people's negative reaction to some of Meghan's Nigeria attire was based on genuine shock and/or disapproval of her choices rather than a pattern of "hating". There is a difference between criticism and "hating", especially when the Duchess makes what some might call "bold" fashion choices.

I agree with these sentiments entirely. Thank you both. :flowers:
 
Hate is as useful an argument as woke is, which to me means I’m not listening and I don’t want to learn or understand. The definition is insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I don’t remember whose quote that is, but I think it’s apt here. Meghan is as Nigerian as Harry is, but I’m not going to argue this one because she’s free to be whatever she wants…

Edit to add: are those quotes from the First Lady herself?

One, Einstein said it, and two, the bolded section is...it's something. I don't like either of them, so I'm not cheerleading her, but her maternal heritage traces back to Nigerian tribes. Which one, who knows, but DNA doesn't lie. Considering there is 0.0% African blood in Harry, that would make your statement on its face, incorrect. She's Black. He ain't.

You can argue about her motives for wanting to embrace her African heritage, and I'd be more than willing to entertain that conversation, but making a statement like that is just wrong. King Frederik is more Danish than I am, but I still have some percentage of Danish ancestry. Doesn't mean I'd move there and start shotgunning Akavit, but I wouldn't like it if someone tried to deny I possessed it just because they didn't like me.
 
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Well, you got me there on the technicality of it, but I was being subtle while avoiding using terminology that would be considered insulting. Mea culpa and thank you for attributing the quote.
 
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Well, you got me there on the technicality of it, but I was being subtle while avoiding using terminology that would be considered insulting. Mea culpa and thank you for attributing the quote.

It’s not by Einstein, actually.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
A favorite of politicians (and pretty much everybody else), this quote has been wrongly attributed to Benjamin Franklin as well as—but there’s no evidence either of them said it. “The Ultimate Quotable Einstein,” an authoritative complication of his most memorable utterances, identified the quote as a misattribution, and mentioned its use in the 1983 novel “Sudden Death” by Rita Mae Brown. On his website, Quote Investigator, O’Toole traced, the link between insanity and repetition back to at least the 19th century, but noted its use in a Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet as well as novels (including Brown’s), TV shows and various other sources.
 
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When I watched the video this is exactly how I took her words. She was saying the Nigerian youth need to love their heritage. And she used Meghan as an example as someone coming there to find a connection, because if she can love her “home” then they should too.

It really is a shame people who hate Meghan purposely twisted her words. Also says a lot that the overall UK media (who never turns down a chance to highlight negativity) basically ignored it.

Anyways glad they had a successful trip.
Thank you for highlighting this report. It is another example of the madness of Meghan and Harry's life. In the past month, both the Governor of California and Nigeria's First Lady have to push back on misleading information on the Sussexes. I found that absolutely baffling.

The Sussexes are not saints, they are not perfect, but the vitriol against them is like a hurricane or a tornado, even people on the peripheral are forced to respond.
 
The Sussexes are not saints, they are not perfect, but the vitriol against them is like a hurricane or a tornado, even people on the peripheral are forced to respond.
Query why they attract such strong reactions?
 
I think they provoke strong reactions because despite the negativity, they have the potential to do great things. Although First Lady Tunubu may not have mentioned Meghan specifically, it was interesting timing. I know from friends and colleagues who live in Nigeria, people noticed her attire. It may not have made the news but some Nigerians had a very negative reaction.

I know that Meghan would love to use her fame to make a positive difference in the world but she won't be able to build credibility unless she understands that not everyone wants to adopt Western culture and ideas. Western women tend to wear more revealing clothing than African women generally do. There are exceptions but most women in Africa are conservative.

I've found that people in African are very proud of their culture, heritage, and religion. Although many admire the West, they do not want to become the West and worry about Western influence on children, which was the theme of the First Lady's remarks.

With her Nigerian heritage, fan base, and media attention, Meghan is almost uniquely situated to make a serious contribution to the lives of women. She could bring awareness to grave issues like genital mutilation and education for girls. But she can't do anything major if she is offending religious and community leaders. She would have to talk less and listen more, but she can do it.
 
I’m going to be argumentative here, but I don’t think being capable of great things is what provokes a strong reaction. I suspect we all know that. I think everyone, reasonable people anyway, would welcome or at the very least quiet down, if there was any such indication. It’s been 4 years since they left and they haven’t made any progress on anything besides sharing their grievances.

To begin with, what is your focus? Are you an influencer? Are you a producer? Are you selling jam? What are you trying to accomplish? I have not seen any cohesive evidence of whatever is they want to be doing. And as they stand now they don’t fit into any category.

Harry only knows one thing and it’s worked very well for him in the past. Naturally, that’s what he reverts back to, which is why we’re getting pseudo tours (and because those are not planned by people who know what they’re doing, they almost always come with some gaffes or series of them).

To do any type of image building or public profile that is not just celebrity centered, it would require patience (it’s not about you for now but the cause), and over time you build your credibility and reputation. You would also need a whole lot of discipline and follow through, meaning sticking to something you’re really good at and working towards developing strong expertise.

For my part, the weaponizing of race (do not come for me; it’s in their Netflix) has been an eye opener, and I was skeptical to begin with. Another, and more recent example, is watching them socializing with the Boozy guy who has been very busy flaming and leading the harassment of Catherine.
 
I’m going to be argumentative here, but I don’t think being capable of great things is what provokes a strong reaction. I suspect we all know that. I think everyone, reasonable people anyway, would welcome or at the very least quiet down, if there was any such indication. It’s been 4 years since they left and they haven’t made any progress on anything besides sharing their grievances.

To begin with, what is your focus? Are you an influencer? Are you a producer? Are you selling jam? What are you trying to accomplish? I have not seen any cohesive evidence of whatever is they want to be doing. And as they stand now they don’t fit into any category.

Harry only knows one thing and it’s worked very well for him in the past. Naturally, that’s what he reverts back to, which is why we’re getting pseudo tours (and because those are not planned by people who know what they’re doing, they almost always come with some gaffes or series of them).

To do any type of image building or public profile that is not just celebrity centered, it would require patience (it’s not about you for now but the cause), and over time you build your credibility and reputation. You would also need a whole lot of discipline and follow through, meaning sticking to something you’re really good at and working towards developing strong expertise.

For my part, the weaponizing of race (do not come for me; it’s in their Netflix) has been an eye opener, and I was skeptical to begin with. Another, and more recent example, is watching them socializing with the Boozy guy who has been very busy flaming and leading the harassment of Catherine.
You are not being argumentative and I agree with what your comments. What I was trying to say is that if people felt that Harry and Meghan were only capable of publicizing their petty (for the most part) grievances, it would be easy to dismiss them. I can only speak for myself but I think they are both capable of doing great things in the future.

It irritates me when I see them get caught in unnecessary controversies. What did Meghan gain by wearing inappropriate attire (the dress she wore to visit the school was inappropriate to visit a U.S. school). As someone upthread said, it was a missed opportunity.
 
You are not being argumentative and I agree with what your comments. What I was trying to say is that if people felt that Harry and Meghan were only capable of publicizing their petty (for the most part) grievances, it would be easy to dismiss them. I can only speak for myself but I think they are both capable of doing great things in the future.

It irritates me when I see them get caught in unnecessary controversies. What did Meghan gain by wearing inappropriate attire (the dress she wore to visit the school was inappropriate to visit a U.S. school). As someone upthread said, it was a missed opportunity.
I am probably going to be controversial here, but if the couple had still been in the royal fold and this had been an official tour Meghan would have been discouraged with some of her sartorial choices. It does make me wonder if at times she is sticking her nose at the RF and saying I will do and wear what I want. Some of the other choices she made at IG for example would have been vetoed.
It is obvious she disliked being constrained within the RF but it might have been more beneficial in the long run if she had paid heed to some of the guidance and brought it with her.
 
You are not being argumentative and I agree with what your comments. What I was trying to say is that if people felt that Harry and Meghan were only capable of publicizing their petty (for the most part) grievances, it would be easy to dismiss them. I can only speak for myself but I think they are both capable of doing great things in the future.

It irritates me when I see them get caught in unnecessary controversies. What did Meghan gain by wearing inappropriate attire (the dress she wore to visit the school was inappropriate to visit a U.S. school). As someone upthread said, it was a missed opportunity.
Understood. I see what you mean, but I would offer that people are exactly angered because they pay powerful PR companies to keep them in the headlines. They will never be dismissed completely by virtue of Harry’s family and because drama sells. The way I see it, they would benefit greatly from taking a breather, but what they do instead is every six months or so we get a new wish to “rebrand”.

Finally, to be great, you have to recognize and understand the bigger picture. Harry had potential, and was probably aware of his limitations back then, but he essentially squandered the goodwill he had, in part because he took it for granted. I’m not sure what Meghan has to offer because she’s all over the place and that’s why everything’s always a missed opportunity.
 
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It is obvious she disliked being constrained within the RF but it might have been more beneficial in the long run if she had paid heed to some of the guidance and brought it with her.

Okay, so, my question for her would be, why marry a prince, and a prince that high up in the food chain, if you didn't want to follow the same rules/protocols every other woman who married into the BRF had to follow? Yes, being a working royal is constraining, far more than being a Hollywood actress is. Did she not realize that her life would fundamentally change as a result of marrying him? Had either them given their futures as working royals even a scintilla of thought?
 
Okay, so, my question for her would be, why marry a prince, and a prince that high up in the food chain, if you didn't want to follow the same rules/protocols every other woman who married into the BRF had to follow? Yes, being a working royal is constraining, far more than being a Hollywood actress is. Did she not realize that her life would fundamentally change as a result of marrying him? Had either them given their futures as working royals even a scintilla of thought?
I am not questioning all her reasoning , all I am saying is that she appears to have thrown the baby out with the bath water. I just think it is a pity that she didn’t take something from it that would have been to her advantage. But she was so determined to be this free independent woman who would make her own decisions , something we still see today, that she ends up missing out out and at times messing up,
You can be independent but still listen to advice.
 
She is 42 years old. That's a bit mature for these backless and strapless dresses on a trip that they hope has significant meaningful overtones. The flesh-baring dresses on Meghan were out of place, IMHO.

I think that the Sussexes were a bit gullible in taking this trip. They were going to get exploited every inch of the way.

There could be a Sarah Duchess of York parallel. At certain junctures, Fergie got slammed for doing anything. Any dress, any outing, any hairstyle ... BAM. I think at a certain point, she just tuned out and did what she wanted, in a vacuum, listening to no one because her position was unbearable. She made some bad choices. I do give her respect for her drive.

I think Meghan might be, to use her vernacular, "in a place" like Fergie was back when.

Drumming up business deals, tenuous position with BP, cameras at the ready for unflattering pics, business deals not really working out, questions in the press if you will be invited to some Royal bash, it all happened before. Fergie is still on that treadmill.
 
I can get on board with that, but here’s a zinger, Fergie, no matter what your opinion is of her, was and is in spite of all herself.
 
Okay, so, my question for her would be, why marry a prince, and a prince that high up in the food chain, if you didn't want to follow the same rules/protocols every other woman who married into the BRF had to follow? Yes, being a working royal is constraining, far more than being a Hollywood actress is. Did she not realize that her life would fundamentally change as a result of marrying him? Had either them given their futures as working royals even a scintilla of thought?
Those are great questions!

IMO the simple answer to all three questions is: No
(Edit: in the case of the first question, as in No, you should not marry someone in that position unless you were willing to follow the rules etc.).

I doubt if she seriously considered or cared about the implications of marrying PH and joining the BRF. IMO, the primary objective was to marry him and achieve worldwide attention and fame as a member of the BRF and the elevated status that came with being a part of it, especially the title, and she got what she wanted. I’ll give her 10/10 for sheer determination and for a plan executed to perfection. I don’t believe for a moment she was naive, or didn’t know exactly what she was doing.

As for dealing with the realities of life in the BRF, my view is simple and it’s this: if she did not find life in the BRF to her liking, she would quit, and would find a way to do so "by hook or by crook". That’s exactly what happened. It's important to remember that PH himself has stated that he was "trapped" without knowing it and MM "made him realise" this; make of that what you will.

Up until that moment of “enlightenment” (be it a sudden event or a gradual "realisation") presumably PH had no misgivings and expected things to go on as before. I will not speculate on how or when he realised that he was “trapped” and “had to escape”; but there is plenty of evidence to indicate that he was happy before, and had a good relationship with his brother and sister in law, and other family members (whatever he says in his book). He has never struck me as a person capable of dissembling, and he has proved that often, especially in recent times. It is also clear, in hindsight, that the BRF both looked after him and looked out for him, and they are still his family whatever anyone may think; IMO he misses them, desperately, both on a conscious and subconscious level. Whether he understands the extent of the harm that he and MM have caused is another matter; his now well known (by his own admission) lifestyle choices must be considered here, and they, as I have said before, make him very vulnerable.
 
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I think the problem is that they enabled him, whether it was out of pity or guilt, the outcome was always going to be a disaster. Same as Andrew. Harry by his own admission resented his brother all his life, that’s not on Meghan, however questionable I find her.

No, this all boils down to, in my opinion, a failure of leadership on the part of Buckingham Palace. Harry should have been made to understand his role in the family. I have no evidence that they didn’t, but he clearly doesn’t get it. They also spent a lot of time cleaning up his messes, and I’m making an assumption here, without any consequences.

They approved that marriage with a boatload of red flags. I understand they wanted Harry to be happy. They were also afraid of the racist label, and guess what…they got called racist anyway. Harry has a history of making bad choices. He acted out for attention and they come in and sweep everything down. The problem became that they were willing to clean up after him because he’s flesh and blood (not a very good management strategy for people in the business of projecting a certain image, but I digress), but he brought in someone whom he expected them to do the same for, and that’s where anticipating and managing expectations fell apart for them.

Harry tells us he was miserable for years and I have no reason to doubt him, but what’s important to remember is our feelings are not always the best indicator of what is true or right. For example, I can say something to my sister and she gets upset by it. Now it might have not been my intention to hurt her feelings, but you feel what you feel and I get it. Those situations are best ironed out in private, especially for people in that kind of position.

What's also clear, and here I agree with you, is that Harry was so very good at taking direction that almost everyone adored him and he was only second to the beloved QEII. When I said he had potential, that’s what I meant. Professionally speaking, responsibility is the ability to put something, whatever that may be, above yourself. He is obviously someone who requires a lot of guidance, and even with a ton of resources at his disposal, he fumbles left to his own devices or in the wrong environment.
 
I think the problem is that they enabled him, whether it was out of pity or guilt, the outcome was always going to be a disaster. Same as Andrew. Harry by his own admission resented his brother all his life, that’s not on Meghan, however questionable I find her.

No, this all boils down to, in my opinion, a failure of leadership on the part of Buckingham Palace. Harry should have been made to understand his role in the family. I have no evidence that they didn’t, but he clearly doesn’t get it. They also spent a lot of time cleaning up his messes, and I’m making an assumption here, without any consequences.

They approved that marriage with a boatload of red flags. I understand they wanted Harry to be happy. They were also afraid of the racist label, and guess what…they got called racist anyway. Harry has a history of making bad choices. He acted out for attention and they come in and sweep everything down. The problem became that they were willing to clean up after him because he’s flesh and blood (not a very good management strategy for people in the business of projecting a certain image, but I digress), but he brought in someone whom he expected them to do the same for, and that’s where anticipating and managing expectations fell apart for them.

Harry tells us he was miserable for years and I have no reason to doubt him, but what’s important to remember is our feelings are not always the best indicator of what is true or right. For example, I can say something to my sister and she gets upset by it. Now it might have not been my intention to hurt her feelings, but you feel what you feel and I get it. Those situations are best ironed out in private, especially for people in that kind of position.

What's also clear, and here I agree with you, is that Harry was so very good at taking direction that almost everyone adored him and he was only second to the beloved QEII. When I said he had potential, that’s what I meant. Professionally speaking, responsibility is the ability to put something, whatever that may be, above yourself. He is obviously someone who requires a lot of guidance, and even with a ton of resources at his disposal, he fumbles left to his own devices or in the wrong environment.
Thanks for your great post, very thought-provoking!

The bolded bit is a very good point. For example, if a post describes me (or other critics of H&M) as "haters" I just ignore it now. It's not true or constructive, nor is it for anyone to tell another person how they feel (an honest mistake is one thing).

In PH's case, therefore, I accept he has (or had) those feelings, and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he didn't exaggerate how he felt to sell more copies of his book, which I should add I have not read (the sample of the beginning was quite enough). I accept that it is his "truth", which is different from the truth.

Does PH even know what he really wants? He was admired, even loved by many here in the UK; I liked him myself. He had no want of money and we now know he did what he liked (and got away with stuff he shouldn't have done) but he was still unhappy. Now he has gone, does he have a clear idea of what he wants to achieve or what would make him feel fulfilled and of greater worth? Does he like living in California? Even as far as Invictus is concerned, he is essentially a figurehead (other people do all the hard work), but the irony is that it was created for him after he left the forces - if I recall correctly - to give him purpose and focus. I do like to think that up to a point BP and Charles did try hard with Harry, and I believe William did the absolute best he could (ditto Catherine), but it's one thing to try and help someone and another thing to get them to listen and engage. As you say, he needs a lot of guidance; who is guiding him now? For what it's worth, IMO he was happiest when he was in the Army - as he said himself. If so, why did he leave, especially if the discipline presumably was good for him?

What is clear now is that although here in the UK we sort of accepted PH for what he appeared to be, the "loveable rogue who lost his mum", the reality was very different. His mother's death, while tragic and undoubtedly traumatising, made an existing situation worse, and as you say BP enabled this. Giving him a good public image took precedence at some point over trying to reform his character. I do agree with everything you say in about PH in your post, and it's important to remember that William lost his mother too, and he turned out very differently.

As I said in my previous post, I don't think PH has ever learned to dissemble, and I saw for myself occasions where he did look happy and relaxed with William and/or Catherine, but perhaps he was happy for another reason, has forgotten that there were happy times - or because he was so unhappy, they didn't really count.

And absolutely, MM was not responsible for how PH turned out before she met him. Nevertheless, as I said in another post, they were rather like Bonnie and Clyde; they got together and it was only a matter of time before all hell broke loose. At the time of course, here in the UK, welcoming MM and glad that PH had found a partner, we were blissfully unaware of what was to follow.
 
Time to move on from discussing old news. Further posts along those lines will be deleted.
 
Duke amd Duchess of Sussex celebrate Princess Lilibet's 3rd Birthday with Party at Montecito Home.
Ahead of daughter Lili's birthday on June 4, friends and family gathered at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's California home for a celebration over the weekend.

 
Duke amd Duchess of Sussex celebrate Princess Lilibet's 3rd Birthday with Party at Montecito Home.
Ahead of daughter Lili's birthday on June 4, friends and family gathered at the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's California home for a celebration over the weekend.

Wish there were pictures of the celebration, all we had in that link are outdated.
 
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