One of the most prevalent micro aggressions/ toxic things people say at the holidays is how an event in their life that year “made them a family.” It is very othering and painful for people who long for those events and implies that because they did not get married/ have a second baby/ have a baby of the other sex they are somehow not part of a “family” or their family is less complete. As someone who has struggled with this personally in particular this year and this holiday season, I went from absolute delight when I saw the picture to feeling ice cold when I read the greeting. Lovely card, tone deaf words.
Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.It implies no such thing. All it implies is that the arrival of Lili made them feel that their family is complete. They're not speaking in general terms, they're speaking for themselves. I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles though.
I must have missed the words somehow, someway. I'll blame it on taking happy pills (surgery yesterday). Reading them here, I can see where they could be interpreted in a myriad of ways and maybe expressed better.
I think perhaps the rudest thing I read yesterday was a story about a mother-in-law that bought Christmas pajamas that match for her son's entire family *except* for the child that was the wife's by a previous marriage.
Prime example of a Grinch with no heart and no clue how to be human.![]()
Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.
Had they stated that it made their family complete, that would indeed be a very different message and fitting for this year. However, that is not what it says. It says that it 'made them (us) a family'; which implies that they weren't a family until their second child arrived and unfortunately, that message ("you aren't a real family until you have two children") might hurt those that don't have children or have secondary infertility issues. Some might easily brush it off and others might feel diminished as if their family unit (or whatever constellation) doesn't count for full.
Yes, that they weren't a family until Lili arrived. Not that "you" aren't a family until you have a boy named Archie and a girl named Lilibet. I have no idea, frankly, how you derive "you aren't a real family until you have two children" them speaking solely for their own family.
I don't for one second doubt that it's stupidly hard to see people have children if you, for whatever reason, are not able to yourself. I have people close to me in that situation and it's heartbreaking for them. But we simply cannot be living in a world where people aren't allowed to express joy for their own family constellations out of fear of hurting people who aren't able to live the same exact experience. It's a pretty far-fetched thing to ask of people[…]
I don't think it's "pearl-clutching". Simply that Harry and Meghan have the ability to upset very easily for whatever reason. Also an endless need to expound.
They could have just said "joyous wishes for the New Year", 'here's where your donations are going', and left it at a beautiful photo of them and their children.
Less is only more with them when it's not serving some purpose.
I thought it was a lovely photo of Harry, Meghan, Archie and Lili looking joyful and Happy. Archie's red hair certainly resembled Harry.
I agree, it is a lovely family picture, and Archie's hair does resemble Harry's.
Not really. Harry is ginger, Archie is more coppery
(...)
The Duke wants to bring his son Archie and baby daughter Lilibet to visit from the US, but he and his family are "unable to return to his home" because it is too dangerous, a legal representative said.
It follows an incident in London in the summer of 2021 when his security was compromised after his car was chased by paparazzi photographers as he left a charity event.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex lost their taxpayer-funded police protection in the aftermath of quitting as senior working royals.
The Duke wants to fund the security himself, rather than ask taxpayers to foot the bill, his legal representative said. He has now filed a claim for a judicial review against the Home Office decision.
The Duke is arguing that his private protection team in the US does not have adequate jurisdiction abroad or access to UK intelligence information which is needed keep the Sussex family safe.
(...)
The legal representative added: "The Duke first offered to pay personally for UK police protection for himself and his family in January of 2020 at Sandringham. That offer was dismissed.
"He remains willing to cover the cost of security, as not to impose on the British taxpayer. As is widely known, others who have left public office and have an inherent threat risk receive police protection at no cost to them.
"The goal for Prince Harry has been simple - to ensure the safety of himself and his family while in the UK so his children can know his home country.
"During his last visit to the UK in July 2021 - to unveil a statue in honour of his late mother - his security was compromised due to the absence of police protection, whilst leaving a charity event.
"After another attempt at negotiations was also rejected, he sought a judicial review in September 2021 to challenge the decision-making behind the security procedures, in the hopes that this could be re-evaluated for the obvious and necessary protection required."
A Government spokesperson said: "The UK Government's protective security system is rigorous and proportionate. It is our long-standing policy not to provide detailed information on those arrangements. To do so could compromise their integrity and affect individuals' security.
"It would also not be appropriate to comment on the detail of any legal proceedings."