Divorce rumours for Princess Masako ?

[Charlotte1]

since families don't want their children marrying a royal do they aspire to marriages to the powers in the IHA?

The IHA is a large corporation, in the past many of the employees were generational, that is the same family worked in the same capacity, but that is no longer the case. ( The British royal family has similar royal retainers) IHA employees are now recruited from various fields. For example, the head of the CP household was recruited from the Diplomatic corps, he had worked with Masako's father in Russia many years ago. Masako's assistant ( chief lady in waiting I think is her title, you can see her in some photos with Masako going into the Imperial Palace) is US educated like Masako and was recruited from the business sector. The person responsible for Aiko's childcare and education has a degree in Early Childhood, and was recruited from outside because of her speciality. Unlike in the past when the royal children were brought up by the palace family retainers ( the old aunties they were called) The new doctor ( he's an IHA employee) came from one of Tokyo's hospitals. ( Can't remember though whose doctor he is, the Emperors?)
The IHA employees are employees in a major corporation and that corportation happens to be the one whose main job is the maintenance of the lifestyle and tradition that is the Imperial Family. With its employees now coming from various areas I think it would be very difficult for anyone to plan to marry someone thinking they would end up being IHA employees. Plus where's the power? It's not the government, social status, well they're really nothing more than servants, so there's not that much social status. To influence? The royals are totally independent from business, government, finance.
An ambitious parent would more likely look to marry their child into one of the wealthy business family, than an IHA employee.

 

[Vanesa]

I repeat: I'm not a feminist. I know perfectly what feminism is. I'm an history teacher and I must know. If not, I should be fired from the High School where I am teaching and I hould not have the prize I got for my book about French Revolution.

A movement is not only the deffinition of a word in a dictionnary, but its own story. What it shows about itself. Having studied suffragist movement, and feminism since times of French Revolution (and ever before), I could state that I'm not a feminist. And I'm sure of what I'm saying. This is not a semantic discussion, but a social, cultural and historical one. If you read what the word "Communism" really mean, you'll accept is even romantic...But this is what ruled in Russia since 1917 until 1989? I don't think so...And search the word "Liberalism". And then search "Human Rights". All these are merely words, not showing what they really has behind them. Deffinitions sounds always very nice. But life is another thing.


Other issue: you said that Princess Masako could have a physical illness who could cause her character problems. Right! Then she must be treated for it and things will be well again, not only for her, but for everybody. If she doesn't treat her illness, she will suffer as she is suffering now. If her illness is a psychologic one, she must be treated too. I'm not trying to replace medical intervention. But every doctor will said you (and you are free to go and speak with them about it) that every sick person will recover faster if she has a possitive attitude. I'm not inventing anything here . There are even medical records about this very issue. I will quote one, from real life: A man from privince of Buenos Aires, named Diego Figueroa had a minimal tubercular affection and was very depressed. In the same hospital than him, a young recently married girl, Alina Quattrocci was dying from the same illness, since her lungs were almost destroyed by TB. While she was in the hospital, Alina discovered she was pregnant and become so happy that she answered quickly to the TB treatment..The "dying" girl was cured after two months of treatment. She is still alive and now has four children. She is a very happy person. Diego Figueroa, who wasn't severely ill was depressed as we said, for he had lost his job and his mother recently...in the same two months that Alina was cured, his own lungs were all distroyed by TB and he died...It's a proved thing that possitive attitude help persons in their psychological and physical illness. Even in cancer and AIDS. There is people who was even cured of them by this attitude. Again, this is not my invention, this is not my fantasy. I'm not medically trained. Go to any hospital you know, speak with doctors and nurses and they will tell you the same I am telling to you here.

However, I don't think that Princess Masako has a so severe illness as TB, cancer, AIDS , aplastic animea or any other who could kill a person. If she has the will, she will be happy again. "If there is a will, there is a way". Do you remember? I don't think that will is all, I'm not candid. But I'm sure it's a lot, or that at least it's the first step to change a situation.

For me a Prince or a Princess must serve his/her people. I hope she will be able to do it as soon as possible. I don't hate her. I WANT to like her. I make all my efforts to like her. Be sure of it.

Vanesa.

 

[PadThaiPrincess]

What would be the chances of Princess Masako retaining even shared custody of the Princess Aiko if they were to divorce? There is no precedent for the Japanese Royals to look at what might happen if there was an official seperation. Would she lose contact with her child forever as some have said?

 

[bbb]

as someone fighting cancer i can no more "cure" myself with positive thinking than masako can "cure" herself and i must say i resent your condesending message that it implies, ie: if i die it's my fault i didn't have a good enough attitude. i agree my positive attitude is a big part of the fight and survival but it is chemo saving my life, the attitude just helps me get through it, but there have been dark days when depression hits and it's the most awful place to imagine, you are so low and sad, conjuring up a positive attitude is impossible and i don't have heavy expectations or the IHA controlling my every move like masako. the latest photos imo shows a happy and healthy woman i have every hope she's got control of her depression, but it's one step at a time and you never know when darkness can will hit again.
i don't think divorce is in the cards, they seem very close and happy little family, but from what i remember she would lose custody but that doesn't mean contact forever, surely even the IHA couldn't be that cold.

 

[Charlotte1]

What would be the chances of Princess Masako retaining even shared custody of the Princess Aiko if they were to divorce? There is no precedent for the Japanese Royals to look at what might happen if there was an official seperation. Would she lose contact with her child forever as some have said?

Japan doesn't have no fault divorce, all Japanese women not just royals, if they are considered at fault in the marriage breakdown loose custody of their children. There is also no requirement, if the woman was seen to be at fault, for the former husband to pay any kind of maintenance. Basically they are left without their child and without any kind of income from the years they were married. Shared custody is very unusual in Japan, if the woman wasn't at fault and she does retain custody of the children their father doesn't tend to have much to do with them. But then again considering the long hours Japanese men work, Japanese fathers don't spend very much time with their children at all and generally only see them on weekends. During the week the fathers leave in the morning before the children are awake, and come home after they are asleep.

A good example of what happens with divorce in Japan is the situation of former Prime Minister Koizumi. Being an ambitious politician he needed a wife to fill out his profile, he agreed to an 'omiai' (an arranged marriage, still quite common in Japan) His advisors found him a suitable political wife, he met her the following day proposed, she agreed and they married. For a while all was good, then they had children and she couldn't spend as much time on the political hustings as before, she wasn't considered pulling her weight. Koizumi divorced her, she was considered at fault and he took custody of their 2 sons. She never saw them again, at the time she was pregnant with her 3rd son, she kept him but he never had contact with his father ( he tried recently and it made the papers) and the oldest 2 sons never had contact with their youngest brother. The oldest 2 are in their late 20's but have no desire to meet their mother, there is no contact.

If there were to be a divorce ( unlikely as the cp couple seem to be quite devoted to one another) Masako would loose custody of Aiko, she more than likely will be seen to be at fault and that's the way the divorce law is currently in Japan.


Before we have any more 'evil IHA' posts I'd point out that the custody of royal children belongs to the monarch, not just in Japan. Queen Elizabeth II had custody of William and Harry after their parents' divorce not Charles and Diana, both had access and the boys divided their time equally between them, but neither had custody. This was also the case for Beatrice and Eugenie, QEII had custody ( and still has on Eugenie until she turns 18) Andrew and Sarah had access and the girls actually at first lived fulltime with Sarah. Tha Danish royals as part of the prenuptial agreement agree that any children will remain in Denmark, foreign wives cannot decided to leave the country and take their children. If they want to stay with their children they need to live in Denmark, otherwise they don't have custody of their children.

 

[bbb]

thanks for a very interesting post charlotte. that is a sad story, i know it's a culture thing but it seems so tragic and wrong (not knowing your mother or brother).
i didn't know QEII had custody, thanks for enlightening me, it's facinating and i suppose in a royal world it makes perfect sense. i admire the royal families that have dealt with this issue in a classy way (norway, denmark especially) "staying friendly" and not using the poor children as pawns and weapons.

 

[HRH Abigail]

Well, Warren ...

The Empress Nagako (Kojun) didn't help matters. Apparently she never forgave Michiko for not being a princess from one of the old princely families, as she herself was. No doubt many within the IHA shared the same view. When she married into the Imperial Family it was hoped that Akihito and Michiko's experience of the Old Guard would somehow protect Masako from the same stresses, but it was not to be.

We can blame the IHA all we like, but the IHA is not the only power within the Imperial Palace compound.

I have heard tell of the fact that Empress Nagako was royally horrific to poor CP Michiko, when she first married Akihito, to the extent that later caused Michiko to have a fully-blown nervious breakdown. Nagako never really, or so it appears to me anyway, gave poor Michiko a CHANCE to become learned in Royal Ways, but rather judged her as being totally unfit from the outset, which, (if I may say so) is awfully un-called for and most unfair, don't you think?

-- Abbie

 

[Al_bina]

A good example of what happens with divorce in Japan is the situation of former Prime Minister Koizumi. Being an ambitious politician he needed a wife to fill out his profile, he agreed to an 'omiai' (an arranged marriage, still quite common in Japan) His advisors found him a suitable political wife, he met her the following day proposed, she agreed and they married. For a while all was good, then they had children and she couldn't spend as much time on the political hustings as before, she wasn't considered pulling her weight. Koizumi divorced her, she was considered at fault and he took custody of their 2 sons. She never saw them again, at the time she was pregnant with her 3rd son, she kept him but he never had contact with his father ( he tried recently and it made the papers) and the oldest 2 sons never had contact with their youngest brother. The oldest 2 are in their late 20's but have no desire to meet their mother, there is no contact.

I have learnt these amazing facts about PM Koizumi's personal life from one of the Russian new papers. He was dubbed "Real Samurai" for being so rigid and traditional.

 

[Vanesa]

I was wondering if nowadays, the word "rigid" is becoming a synonimous of "having principles and keeping attached to them", and if being "traditionalist" is a sin. There is no freedom in a world on which we are forced to be "free" (which it is a way of being slave), and "liberal", and it's a great tiranny to have to accept values (or I should said contre-values) that we are not agreeing with.

We MUST be modern; we MUST fight against tradition (even when we are Monarchist); we MUST want the new conception of family, we MUST affect to accept all the new cultural world in which we are being forced to live. And if not, we are blamed as antisocial people.

Vanesa.

 

[Vanesa]

as someone fighting cancer i can no more "cure" myself with positive thinking than masako can "cure" herself and i must say i resent your condesending message that it implies, ie: if i die it's my fault i didn't have a good enough attitude. i agree my positive attitude is a big part of the fight and survival but it is chemo saving my life, the attitude just helps me get through it, but there have been dark days when depression hits and it's the most awful place to imagine, you are so low and sad, conjuring up a positive attitude is impossible and i don't have heavy expectations or the IHA controlling my every move like masako. the latest photos imo shows a happy and healthy woman i have every hope she's got control of her depression, but it's one step at a time and you never know when darkness can will hit again.
i don't think divorce is in the cards, they seem very close and happy little family, but from what i remember she would lose custody but that doesn't mean contact forever, surely even the IHA couldn't be that cold.

You are being rude to me without any reason. I'm only quoting cientific evidence. Consult to any doctor you know and he/she will said the same than I was saying above. No invention of my part.

And of course, I was NOT saying that if you dies from cancer is your fault. If you read this in my post, I'm explaining myself really badly. Cancer is an extreme case in which possitive attitude could help a lot or not, but it mostly helps. Do research in this issue and tell me. I'm not speaking without knowing anytihing about it: sadly, this illness killed my beloved granny (who was very depressed by this time, since her mother has dead some time ago from a very complicated illness) when she was still young, and also my aunt, a very agressive person, a feminist and a person with sexual troubles (you see I'm being VERY sincere to you here). The doctors who treated my aunt said that if she was not so angry with the world, she could have been cured. She literally would fabriquate tumor after tumor. On the other hand a cousin of mine had cancer and was cured quite fastly, for she has a great faith in the treatment and was a very happy person without troubles with anyone. But I'm seeing that you are a person that only believes in what you touchs. Science alone could cure. Faith, love, happyness, good attitude tyoward the others, this doesn't counts for you.

But the Crownprincess HAS NOT CANCER. Her problem is much less complicate. You are saying and re-saying again and again that she must not try to be happy and possitive. Independently of "the evil IHA" troubles and such, a possitive attitude could help her to live easily..but no; for you, she is the "poor little one" attacked by everyone and must not change. Is the others who must. In the worst of the cases, BOTH, IHA and Crownprincess must change, at least, a little.

I'm not attacking Princess Masako; I'm not interested in such a thing, as I'm not interested in discussing malicious rumours about my neighbors. I'm not this kind of person. Here, it seems that f you don't approves the way of acting of a princess or a prince, is for you are against him or her for some osbcure reason. This is not a match of football, in which a team is against another. This is social; this is politics, and, as a person interested in Monarchy's future, I don't discuss the Crownprincess for a malicious feeling or wanting of causing her any harm. I'm very concerned seeing that even an Institution as Monarchy is being influenced for contre-culture, and since I see this institution as a way of keeping safe some great vertues and way of life I admire, I'm worried about what it is becoming. Maybe I'm wrong. But still, these are my feelings and my way of thinking.

And...may you make a little effort and write in an English I can understand a little better? English is NOt my first language and I make a great effort for people could understand me. But English is your native tongue and yet you writes wthout a clear ponctuation and I can't follow you as well as I should want.

Vanesa.

 

[Al_bina]

Vanessa,
It is not bad to be traditional and rigid. However, being traditional and rigid takes on a negative meaning in the case of Mr. Koizumi’s personal life. He rejected his youngest son, thereby punishing this young man, because his wife failed to be a perfect spouse for the politician. Is this young man guilty of this failure? I do not think so.
Traditions and adherence to beliefs and values are an important part of human personality, but there should be the golden mean in everything, which keeps us from running to extremes.

 

[Elspeth]

Before we have any more 'evil IHA' posts I'd point out that the custody of royal children belongs to the monarch, not just in Japan. Queen Elizabeth II had custody of William and Harry after their parents' divorce not Charles and Diana, both had access and the boys divided their time equally between them, but neither had custody. This was also the case for Beatrice and Eugenie, QEII had custody ( and still has on Eugenie until she turns 18) Andrew and Sarah had access and the girls actually at first lived fulltime with Sarah. Tha Danish royals as part of the prenuptial agreement agree that any children will remain in Denmark, foreign wives cannot decided to leave the country and take their children. If they want to stay with their children they need to live in Denmark, otherwise they don't have custody of their children.

However, there's a difference in that, as you say, Masako would have very little contact with her daughter after a divorce because she'd be seen to be at fault regardless of the contributing factors to her condition. Whereas Diana and Sarah, as well as Alexandra, have had generous access to their children. I really doubt that the Queen would have denied her ex-daughters in law access to their children in anything other than the most extreme circumstances. While that isn't a decision of the IHA or even probably of the Emperor but is more a cultural issue, it does make a difference to Masako's options, especially since she and her husband do seem to be happy and the pressure for a divorce, if any, seems to be coming from elsewhere.

 

[Elspeth]

We seem to be having some misunderstandings here about the nature of mental illness. While a positive attitude is helpful in many cases when someone is ill, it isn't always possible for someone with certain types of mental illness to maintain a positive attitude. This was also a criticism of the royal family's response to Diana's problem - their apparent feeling that she should just buck up and get over it, when that might not have been possible for her.

I really don't think anyone is meaning to be rude here, and in a discussion of a topic like this it's always helpful to give other people the benefit of the doubt, especially when the participants are from different cultures and not everyone is a native English speaker. Mental illness has always tended to be a misunderstood disease, and Masako's condition seems to be no exception.

 

[reen]

I've noticed that withdrawal in the Royal Japanese female has usually signaled turmoil within the household. The current Empress is a good example. In earlier years she was driven to a breakdon by those within the Imperial household. Masako's case must have been worse as she had not produced the requisite male heir.
I don't think that there is as much pressure on her now as the royal line will continue with the birth of her nephew, and I think that the pressure on her will decrease over time. Should she decide to risk another pregnancy, I'm sure the information from the IHA would include news of her full recovery.

I also want to say how much I agree with the latest post from Al bina, as I greatly admire moderation.

 

[Charlotte1]

However, there's a difference in that, as you say, Masako would have very little contact with her daughter after a divorce because she'd be seen to be at fault regardless of the contributing factors to her condition. Whereas Diana and Sarah, as well as Alexandra, have had generous access to their children. I really doubt that the Queen would have denied her ex-daughters in law access to their children in anything other than the most extreme circumstances. While that isn't a decision of the IHA or even probably of the Emperor but is more a cultural issue, it does make a difference to Masako's options, especially since she and her husband do seem to be happy and the pressure for a divorce, if any, seems to be coming from elsewhere.

True that if Masako divorced the way the law currently stands in Japan she would more than likely have no contact with her child. But if were look at this hypothetical situation we need to take into consideration the characters of the Emperor and Empress and the changes they have brought into the Imperial Family and whether they would actually deny Masako access.
They were the first CP couple who resisted pressure ( from all, the IHA courtiers and the former Emperor and Empress) to have their children live with them and bring them up. They also insisted that their children's education be left to the Japanese education system, not IHA employees who were responsible in the past.
They totally broke with tradition and attended their daughter's wedding, the tradition being that the Emperor and Empress not attend, they didn't attend Naruhito's or Akishino's wedding. But they were so close to Sayako as she lived with them until she was 36, that they wanted to attend her wedding. Having broken that tradition means that Naruhito and Masako will be able to attend their daughter's wedding.
So just like QEII wouldn't have denied Diana and Sarah access to their children, it can't automatically be claimed that Akihito would deny Masako access either.

 

[COUNTESS]

The very sad thing here is that, I believe, we have two people who love one another. They struggled to have this beautiful child. One of them is ill. Yes, a positive outlook helps, but part of mental illness is that you cannot control "your outlook". If you could, you wouldn't have these problems. Too many people think that clinical depression is being "down in the dumps". Elspeth was right on the mark. I, basically, find this whole situation appalling, in that Masako may never be the person the IHA and the Imperial family wish her to be. Life deals you lots of difficulties. Why should there be a divorce, when they love one another. What type of life are you suggesting for either of them? I agree, she of all people had a very good idea of what she was getting into. I don't think her depression is toally caused by her situation. It is a physical anomaly that was unforseen. Years ago they locked up the mentally ill and tried to hide them. Now, we realize that this is not a choice thing. We try to help. Perhaps, some treatment may help her.

 

[HRH Abigail]

The very sad thing for me is that ...

The very sad thing here is that, I believe, we have two people who love one another. They struggled to have this beautiful child. One of them is ill. Yes, a positive outlook helps, but part of mental illness is that you cannot control "your outlook". If you could, you wouldn't have these problems. Too many people think that clinical depression is being "down in the dumps". Elspeth was right on the mark. I, basically, find this whole situation appalling, in that Masako may never be the person the IHA and the Imperial family wish her to be. Life deals you lots of difficulties. Why should there be a divorce, when they love one another. What type of life are you suggesting for either of them? I agree, she of all people had a very good idea of what she was getting into. I don't think her depression is toally caused by her situation. It is a physical anomaly that was unforseen. Years ago they locked up the mentally ill and tried to hide them. Now, we realize that this is not a choice thing. We try to help. Perhaps, some treatment may help her.

The very sad thing for me is that ... Masako is one smart Chick. She KNEW what she was getting into loooong before she was badgered into accepting Naruhito's proposals. HIS parents met with HERS, and worked at chipping away at them and her family, in order to convince them that she'd be well taken care of inside his family, that Michiko would be her Ally (against the IHA, perhaps?), that Naru would do all within his power (what power, alas?) to help her do her thang in the Regime, etc., etc., etc. ...

I mean, Masako KNEW ... Yet she took the bait, as it were, if you will and now she's stuck, in a way. She HAS to get better, and go to someone (wherever the Doc may be) to do so ...

The responsibility is on her to affect her own wellness. It can be done.

I have faith in her.

I truly do.

-- Abbie

 

[COUNTESS]

Abbie, you are right in that she knew what she was up against. Yes, she needs better medical attention than she is getting. That my dear is the rub. She should leave the country and check into a facility here in the States or in Austrailia or somewhere, where she can be treated and receive open, healthy treatment, instead of being hidden, as if she were a leper. It is time for the Japanese monarchy to open its eyes and see that this secrecy is destroying certain members of its family. It is the 21st century. The Feudal Lord days are gone, the Samurai are gone, it is the day of Toyota. Get her good help now. She can do it if she gets proper attention. This is not a matter of toughing it out. She had to sneak around to get fertility treatments. They must put the IHA in its place.

 

[lyndaW]

After reading the book on CP Masako and many other articles about her, could she be suffering from ...fibromyalgia.... not much is currently known, but she seems to have a great many of the signs ??? Just a thought !

 

[COUNTESS]

Might be some of her problems. Who knows. Everything is so hush, hush and unhealthy.

 

[ChiaraC]

I know I am lacking behind....

ChiaraC, may I commend you on your EXCELLENT command of English? It is superlative and there are Americans who don't speak it nearly as well as you write it. I am floored, impressed beyond measure --
Oh, because your location is listed as being Berlin, I am assuming that you are German and not a native American. Correct?

Also, I rather LIKE the polite tone of your message and how you can disagree with someone yet do so civilly.
It's OK to disagree with anyone, here.
Just do so with some semblance of courtesy, that's all.

OK, about the lovely and troubled Masako ...

Well, you KNOW we don't entirely disagree.

See, my problem with her dithering is that she has had YEARS to get treatment and the help out there that is available to her, IF she really wanted to partake of it. For example, I am sure the IHA would consent to sending her away for treatment somewhere else, were she (as The Crown Princess) to request that they do so, you know? After all, it is in their best interest to get her well and doing the duty to which she consented when she elected (finally!) to marry Naruhito.

You CAN'T (as Diana learnt to her peril) CHANGE Royalty, especially if you are Commoner who's married into it. Diana was NO Commoner but she was too "modern" for the antiquated Royal status quo.
One has NO CHOICE but to adapt to IT and its archaic rules, peccadillos, and practices. The Royal System will NOT adapt to you, and your demands.
This is especially true of the Imperial Family of Japan, the worlds most conservative Royal System.
Masako KNEW EXACTLY what she was getting into when she married, ChiaraC. That's why she took her sweet time in accepting Naruhito's proposal. He told her the truth: That he'd all that was within his power to do, to help and guide her thru' the Labyrinth of Royal Practices and Protocol.
Trouble is, HE could NOT defy the System into which he was born. He had to give into it, when he realised that he had only a certain amount of "power" to change it.
Remember, shortly after he and Masako were married that Naruhito came out and CRITICISED his own family for not giving enough responsibilities to his wife and for not allowing her to use HER skills to enhance the Imperial System?
Well, what fall-out came from that? Naruhito's brother, Akishino attacked him and gave him public hell, whilst his own parents did likewise. So, he wasn't at liberty to attack The System any further.

The ball is now firmly in Masako's Court, rightly or wrongly, fairly or not, ChiaraC. She must take the steps needed to sort herself out, and get better, in order to be a fully functioning member to the family into which she consented (AFTER YEARS of deliberation and thought -- soul-searching, if you will) to enter.

Frankly? I think The Imperial Family has BEEN most tolerant of Masako. It has given her almost 6 years of breathing room! She has been in almost total seclusion for a long while, now, only occasionally making public appearances for photo-ops and other MANDATOURY appearances.

I think Masako must decide: Can she cut it? She knows if she can, ChiaraC. If she isn't comfortable with her Status and the Status Quo, then she should suggest a Divorce ... for the good of her own health, and .. for the good of The Imperial Family.

Oh, and by the way: "Face-saving" is SERIOUS business to Asians. It frequently is NOT wholly-understood by Westerners, but ... it is highly INadvisable to put people in the position where they even MIGHT be embarrassed lest they "Lose Face" because ... to Asians, this is a very serious offence.
WE just toss of being embarrassed but to anyone Asian, this is the most humiliating thing one can do to them, and in Japan it is completely frowned upon, especially the higher up the Social Pecking order that you go.

People go to GREAT lengths to be verry polite and AGREEABLE to their fellow-men and women, over in Asia, lest their Compatriouts Face be lost and they suffer unduly.

It's a huge deal.
I think that to avoid losing face herself, that Masako must think about how what she does, or doesn't do, reflects upon her adopted family, who have RISKED taking her on! You know, they weren't too terribly keen on Naruhito even marrying Masako, UNTIL his parents met HERS and got many assurances that she knew exactly how to best SERVE her country ... And, that's just what Royals do.
They SERVE!

I love reading your posts. I am AMAZED and shocked at how very well you write English, when many Americans don't even bother to learn another's language all that well.

Thanks and take care,

-- Abbie

How many interesting and detailed informations have been shared... I especially appreciate the "background information" about Masako and Kiko. I don´t share a view of the world that says that you have to "choose sides" and that one has to be called black and the other white. I even think that this is a very useful strategy to divide women and make them fight against each other, or even, to do the same to persons both male and female and make them quarrel and so become part of the problem instead of being part of the solution. It IS possible to appreciate the qualities of one without overlooking the qualities of the other. United, we stand...

I don´t go into the internet every day and was "carrying around" Abbie´s post with me. And although life did go on here very fast INDEED I still want to share my thoughts. (Maybe we are already getting to this point again, considering what Countess wrote about Masako " being hidden, as if she were a leper"...) (And thank you again, Abbie, for all you said!)

I understand that the members of the imperial family SERVE. And I think that is something that should absolutely be appreciated and respected. I am not against doing one´s duty, to the contrary. (I am German, remember?)

But, seriously, maybe it is exactly for this reason that I think it so very important to think twice about what really IS one´s duty. There was a time in our (German) national history when you would have had to break the law and oppose the official authorities in order to do your real duty (your God-given duty or however you would call that) - for the benefit of your country and its people. But, unfortunately, there were only very few who understood that. If there had been more of them, the dying of millions of people might have been prevented...

This experience has made me think a lot about the essential nature of duty and has made me try to really and deeply understand it. It IS sometimes hard and disagreable to do your duty but it doesn´t work the other way round, not necessarily. The fact that you feel uncomfortable with something unfortunately does NOT give you the guarantee that it is really your duty you are doing…

The imperial family is setting an example for people how to live and how to deal with the problems that arise in life. I am aware that "face-saving" is, generally speaking, more important in Asia than in the Western culture. But I happen to come from a family (and they are rather common here around) that pays a lot of attention to "appearances" and "what the people next door will think". A higher middle class family with everybody having good jobs, attending good schools etc. You would never imagine how much emotional pain, how many addictions, married couples without any real communication etc. there are in this family. You believe it now because I am saying it but if you saw them you would think I must be joking. They look so normal. Nice, normal people. And that´s what they are. I don´t mean to say they are bad. They are suffering and doing their best, only they have been hurt so badly as children that they can´t feel any more what they are doing.
And there is no getting out of it because it is not allowed to say and even to see the truth. (If anybody really breaks out (like my oncle who gave up his well paid position as a high school teacher to become a shepherd in Greece) they are disowned.)

Nearly EVERY emotional wound CAN be healed. But for that it has to be laid open to the sunshine, cleaned and taken care of. If you are never allowed to remove the dirty covers because "the people next door might see it" the misery just goes on. (I am aware that all this sounds pretty dramatical. I am sorry for that but I thought I have to explain this to show "where I come from" and why I think it so important to sometimes let things look just as ugly as they happen to be.)

I admire the open way in which the royal family of Sweden dealt with the anorexia of their eldest daughter. And I think by this they really SERVED their people because now it will be easier for people to see and admit it if their own child is suffering from this illness. They won´t have to deny that anything bad is happening, they won´t have to be afraid of feeling guilty for it. They can say: "Well, that sort of things happen, it even happened to the royal family, that´s o.k." and can go and get for their child the very best medical help that is available.

I know you can´t compare Sweden to Japan. All I am saying is that even in such a "face-saving" culture (and maybe there especially) such people are badly needed who are able to set an example not by appearing to be perfect but by admitting their human fragility and vulnerability and, by doing so, set their people free from the shame that is binding them and preventing them from growing and from getting help. And I think that this is a form of serving that is very much needed (not only in Japan), that takes a lot of courage and is very admirable and honourable indeed.

 

[ChiaraC]

Another example for what I mean has come to my mind, and this time it is Japanese…
As I already mentioned somewhere, I practice Aikido. Its founder, Morihei Ueshiba, was a master in most of the classical japanese "budo" arts and was very famous for it. So, during the Second World War, officials asked him to assist in the training of the troops.

He said no. He thought that his country was making a big mistake in taking part in this war that they would have to regret bitterly in the future, and he definitely did not mean to support this. Although his behaviour at the time was not appreciated AT ALL (as you can probably imagine) I think he served his country better than he would have done if he had just blindly obeyed. (It was not his fault that his warnings were not heeded.)

It is not only Swedish people who can do it…

And I think that it is in this way that Naruhito and Masako are trying to serve their country. (I don´t know for sure if they will get there but, fortunately, after Masako looking so beautiful on New year´s day, there seems to be reason to hope.) The CP and the CPess are neither egotistical nor self-centered, it is just that they have a concept of duty that differs a bit from the traditional one and that is, in my opinion, very helpful and should be most carefully considered.

 

[ChiaraC]

as someone fighting cancer i can no more "cure" myself with positive thinking than masako can "cure" herself and i must say i resent your condesending message that it implies, ie: if i die it's my fault i didn't have a good enough attitude. i agree my positive attitude is a big part of the fight and survival but it is chemo saving my life, the attitude just helps me get through it, but there have been dark days when depression hits and it's the most awful place to imagine, you are so low and sad, conjuring up a positive attitude is impossible and i don't have heavy expectations or the IHA controlling my every move like masako. the latest photos imo shows a happy and healthy woman i have every hope she's got control of her depression, but it's one step at a time and you never know when darkness can will hit again.
i don't think divorce is in the cards, they seem very close and happy little family, but from what i remember she would lose custody but that doesn't mean contact forever, surely even the IHA couldn't be that cold.

I hope you don´t mind me saying the following or feel that I am stepping over boundaries. If so, please don´t hesitate to tell me.

I really do admire your courage in laying open your threatened situation to the world and in sharing the feelings that accompany it. Most of us here only have the competence to discuss cancer or depression from a theoretical point of view. That is certainly not bad, especially when we try to make use of our empathy but, of course, the person who is actually having the experience always knows best.

I hope the price you are paying for this experience is not too high... Always remember what a courageous brilliant human being you are. I wish you much strength and all the best. Take care!

 

[bbb]

thank you for your kind words, i have a super support team, i'm not sure masako has that luxury.

 

[el-khanz]

thank you for your kind words, i have a super support team, i'm not sure masako has that luxury.

With a very caring husband and so lovely daughter, I'm sure it will help her to recover, but it seems that she needs more than that. I truly hope that she has the super support team like yours. Thanks for share us your experience.

 

[Vanesa]

Well said...And I should like to add AGAIN (since it seems this must be repeated and repeated) that , at least on my part, thre is NO HATE to Crownprincess Masako, who, I do not doub must be suffering and must feel herself miserable.

I tried to discuss thins more seriously and not only from her pespective, that if must be heard, is not the only one. Sometimes, people tends to forget we are discussing public characters and not individual people as our relatives and friends could be. No, Masako is a Crownprincess and has her official duties. Of course she has a private life, in which she must try to be happy too, but a public character like she is, must be always think that she would be less free than me and you. It should not be different if she was the President of a country, or even a Deputy. When you enteres in a family that IS NOT an ordinary family, things will be different for you, and you knows it from the start. And of course, you'll not be able to live a completely free life. People has their eyes ALWAYS on you, even if papparazzies are not around, and journalist will be always trying to find something wrong you did, to distroy you. You must be a very strong character to became a Royal (or a President, or any public character), and I think that Royals by birth may accept this faster than a commoner, not for they are superior to us, but for they are facing cameras and people cheering them even in the craddle. A person who is not ready to have the medias above them all day long cannot be Royals. That's simple.

Another little thing: All IMperial or Royals families has rules. Some of them are more permissive than others, but all of them have rules. When you marries a Royal, you are buying these family laws along with him/her. These rules are not arbitrary, and cannot be all uniforms , for one country is different from the other and cannot have the same laws. Every country has their history, and cannot erase them copying other countries institutions and way of thinking for their developpement was different.

Japanese are excellent people but (God thanks! I love difference!), different from us, Argentinians. And we, Argentinians are also different from Cubans or French people, God thanks too. We may like or no like other peoples ways of life, but we have no right to have opinions about them. Their people alone is able to change them, ONLY IF THEY WANT, and not under pressure of other countries who believes they are superior. So, I can't judge IHA (much less not having a complete idea of what they want, who they are and how much people from Japan loves or hates them) , nor Imperial Family rules.

The trouble is when a Japanese person is educated following Western patterns of behavior. When they must to live in a japanese culture, they suffers a lot..as well as if a japanese person was forced to accept my own values. I think this is - a little- Crownprincess Masako's problem. Poor woman, for if there is, she will be condamned to be an outsider in at her own motherland. I wish to her, the best in the world. I wish her she could improve and be happy, since, as it was said by El-Khanz, her husband and daughter loves her. I also wish to her he could have the love of her people. She will be an Empress and an Empress without her peoples loves will suffer. And I do not like her to suffer in any way.

Vanesa.

 

[reen]

When Masko becomes Empress, I think the Japnese people will love her. I think they do now. I doubt there will be a divorce. I think the best thing will be for Masako and the Crown Prince to develop a relationship with their nephew so that there is harmony and good will within the Royal family.

 

[COUNTESS]

Perhaps, when they reign, they can try and bring the monarchy into the 21st century and have women reign, too.

 

[bekalc]

Perhaps, when they reign, they can try and bring the monarchy into the 21st century and have women reign, too.

And do you think that's fair to Hisahito or Aiko?

One can disagree with Japan's succession rules all you want. But according to the rules, Hisahito is next in line, and if people wanted to change the rules, they should have been (and could have been) changed before he was born.

It could take years for the rules to change, and that would put both Aiko and Hisahito's lives literally on hold. The best thing they could do was change the rules starting with Hisahito's heirs, and or suggest that after Hisahito (if he doesn't have kids) Aiko, then Mako, then Kako. But to change the rules let's say 10 years later, isn't right.

 

[COUNTESS]

Life evolves. This poor boy's only reason for existance is to inherit the throne. He was born to take away the problem. That is terrible. I am sure his family will love him, nevertheless. When Masako and her husband are on the throne, then is the time to make a move to get rid of this antiquated idea. Aiko is the rightful heir. God know, if that is a gift or not. But Hisahito is an artificial heir, conceived and dedicated to eliminating women from inheritance. This is the 21 century.