Diana and Sarah's Relationship

[Denville]

I between the two of them.
I remember the two couples on the annual skiing trip, Diana and Sarah started play tussling and Charles was extremely upset with the action. Then there was the disasterous "It's A Royal Knockout" tv show. Apparently, Diana wanted to appear with the Yorks, etc. and Charles put his foot down and stopped her. That was the wisest decision Charles made. I have British neighbors and we talked about that show one time years ago and they said Sarah made an absolute fool of herself and of course, Andrew, Anne and Edward weren't in the best spotlight either.
It's sad that Diana and Sarah were on bad terms at Diana's death, but I've written, Sarah goes too far and alienates herself.

honestly I think that the Royal Knockout was mild compared with the silly behaviour that Sarah indulged In...
OK it was stupid but it was for charity.. but a lot of Sarah's silliness was as you say increasingly "vulgar" and self indulgent.. and increasingly less harmless.
she did things like books that she said were for charity, but then used the money for herself.. She had affairs, and got caught at them.. and again, one of the attractions of her 2 lovers were that they were rich or said that they could make her rich..
She just is terribly silly and very early on, like the hen night, she was doing stuff that was so stupid, like dressing as a policewoman and possibly shutting the BP gates for a lark.. that you'd think someone would have really put their foot down with her and told her she had to be more careful, but I have heard that couriters said " we DO tell her what to do but she wont listen"...and I think that is true,.
Its nothing to do with who her father was, it is to do with the fact that she - in spite of having "good connextions", DIDNT seem to have a clue how to behave... and aciting like she had never had any "upbringing"...
If she had been "the daughter of a stable boy", well perhaps there might have been some excuse for her not knowing how to behave, but she wasn't.. She had gone to a good school, she was born to a "good family" as regards social connections, she had mixed with the RF on and off and was part of the upper classes, yet she really was utterly lacking in any self restraint or good manners.
she just did what she liked, regardless of consequences and even now, she is pretty silly and clearly can't manage money..ANd she DID seemed to "lead" Diana into silliness that might have damaged Di's pristine reputation at the time.. Di I think was smart enough to work out within a short time that the behaviour was vulgar and stupid ad that it was getting her bad headlines and I think that she was willing to cut off being seen with S in public..
After a short while she stopped the silly antics, but remained close to Sarah for a while. However they had the row over the shoes remark, and Di seems to have really rather unkindly refused to ever forgive her for it.
but as you say Sarah DOES tend to just go too far and doesn't know when to stop and perhaps if Di was unhappy and fed up, and felt thtat she had lost an ally because of the veruccas remark, she found it hard to forgive Sarah...

 

[Dee Anna]

Regardless of anyone's opinion of Sarah, her relationship with her daughters is very solid as is hers and Andrew's. We can only see from the distant outside looking in.

That her relationship with Diana had fractured we also know, but she spent quite a bit of time just sitting with the princess in the lead up to the funeral, so that should tell us they did share a close bond also.

 

[Denville]

?? DO you mean she sat with Dianas' body? Because I've never heard of this and I would find it unlikely. I'm sure that the RF/Charles were willing to let her visit the coffin and say goodbye, but I can't see her being there for a long period of time.
And it is well known that she and Diana were at odds for a long time before Diana's death, and that Diana refused to respond to Sarah's overtures. so Iwould hardly say that their close bond lasted.

 

[O-H Anglophile]

?? DO you mean she sat with Dianas' body? Because I've never heard of this and I would find it unlikely. I'm sure that the RF/Charles were willing to let her visit the coffin and say goodbye, but I can't see her being there for a long period of time.
And it is well known that she and Diana were at odds for a long time before Diana's death, and that Diana refused to respond to Sarah's overtures. so Iwould hardly say that their close bond lasted.

I don't remember anything about Sarah sitting with Diana's body either.

But just because Diana had cut Sarah off (as she had done with others, some of whom became friends again, some not) it doesn't mean Sarah didn't still feel close to Diana and was grieved by her death.

 

[Osipi]

From what I can see, Diana's coffin was lying in state (don't know exactly how to word it) at St. James Chapel from Sunday after her death until it was taken to Kensington Palace the night before the public funeral. Paul Burrell relates in "A Royal Duty" exactly what happened while the coffin was at KP. He did not mention Sarah spending time with the coffin but he kept an all night vigil.

Sarah and Diana had their ups and down like a lot of us do with people but from what I know of Sarah's personality, she doesn't seem to be the kind of person that carried grudges.

 

[Denville]

I think that Sarah made fairly desperate attempts to be taken back into Di's friendship but Diana wouldn't have it. And I think that it was a bit like Sarah's still trying to get on board wit the RF as a whole, because she has found herself out in the cold since she left them. She annoyed Diana, and Diana refused to forgive her..
and while Sarah was invited to the funeral, I don't see Charles letting her do more than pay a farewell visit to the coffin.. He wouldn't want to deny her a cance to say goodbye but he also wouldn't IM sure wish to allow her to stay for a prolonged time

 

[MARG]

We have no way of knowing any such things. It is speculation and as such should be qualified by an 'IMO' or 'IMHO'

 

[JessRulz]

Several posts speculating on Sarah's mental health have been removed under the speculation rule. Please keep your opinions and statements factual as much as possible.

 

[Dee Anna]

Going back in time, but I do remember reading about Sarah speak of sitting with Diana in the lead up to the funeral.

 

[Denville]

where did she say this?

 

[Dee Anna]

I didn't keep notes ? I remember reading about it at the time, twenty years ago.

 

[Katrianna]

i don't recall any source with Sarah stating her time sitting with Diana before the funeral. I do recall that Sarah gave an interview a few months after Diana's death stating that she called Diana on the day of the accident and repeatedly spoke to the answering machine saying, "Dutch, Dutch pick up the phone! I know you're there, I know you're home and not in Paris!" It was an interview she gave to either Majesty Magazine or Royalty Magazine. She didn't mention in that interview about the sitting before the funeral.

 

[Curryong]

Though why would Sarah call Diana on the very day of the accident in Paris when we know that the two women hadn't reconciled and in fact hadn't spoken for months? I just get the feeling sometimes that Sarah likes to impel herself into scenes of drama and tragedy (and this was an epic one on a international scale) without necessarily telling the truth, the whole truth...

 

[Katrianna]

Well, it's what was printed that Sarah told the journalist at the her interview. I have no idea if what said actually happened or not. Yes, the two women were on the outs, Sarah herself stated she couldn't believe Diana had been in an accident and had died and related the telephone call and messages. We have to take Sarah at what she relayed although privately we can take it with a grain of salt or not.

 

[Denville]

I'd be dubious about this, alleged "calling Diana" and not believing she was in Paris.. and I'd be dubious about her saying (if she did) that she sat up for hours with Diana's body. I'm sure she would not have been permitted to do that...

 

[Katrianna]

To be honest, I'm dubious about calling and leaving a message at Diana's home that Sarah made when she learned about Diana's accident. I searched in the public library archives and the interview Sarah gave was in Majesty Magazine. The article was about "Children In Crisis", Sarah's charity. I remember the photo was Sarah at her office in the World Trade Center and thought just in 4 yr. the those buildings would be destroyed. Anyway, to stay on topic, the interview came around to Diana's death which was so recent and Sarah relayed disbelief and the phone message story. These were the days before I had the internet, let alone a computer. When I got the internet, that's when I found out about the falling out between the two women. It always struck me and still does why Fergie would state that she tried calling and then leaving a message to Diana when the international news confirmed Diana's accident and subsequent death. To be honest, even reading it in the article, I thought, " why did she call? Everything was confirmed?"
My point is, the journalist wrote down what Sarah relayed to him and it was printed.

 

[Denville]

Of course Katrianna, the journalist I'm sure wrote it in good faith. but Sarah is so silly. I think she very much regrets the fact that the RF aren't keen on her, (thanks to her own stupid behaviour) and has been trying for years to get back in their good books. And the same with Diana. I think she was trying to emphaisise that she HAD had a close relationship with Diana, (though people knew they had fallen out) and was trying to make out that she had still been close enough to call Diana at home, though it was pretty well known that they were "no speakers" for ages...
But she just made herself look silly again..
perhaps She MAY have done this, called Diana when it was announced that she had died in Paris, and maybe she told it to show that she had been "so so upset" at Diana's death that she coudlnt' believe it. But really a dignified saying nothing wold have been better. She may have been tryring to make herself look distraught (and Im sure she WAS indeed very shocked and unhappy... but as always with Fergie she overplayed her hand and looked foolish instead.
She might alos have said that she sat with Diana's body the night before she was buried but I'm sure that's not true...

 

[Osipi]

I do think if it had been true about Sarah sitting up with the body, it would have been mentioned in Paul Burrell's book. I may not care much for Burrell and his usage of his life with Diana to make a buck or two, I do believe that he was very actively involved with things during the time between Diana's death and her funeral.

I don't think Sarah would have been allowed to sit up with the body at St. James' while the body was there and Burrell was the one that stayed with the body when it was at KP for one night before the funeral. He does no recall Sarah at all during that time if I'm remembering right. Its been a long time since I've read the book and have no real desire to go hunting for it.

 

[Denville]

No I'm sure it is not true, but she may have said it. I imagine that she may have paid a farewell visit....

 

[Katrianna]

In the same Majesty interview Sarah didn't mention sitting with Diana's remains before the funeral, she mentioned how upset she was and referred to her actions as I've written in my last 2 posts. If she would have included the sitting with Diana action in that interview, I would have remembered.
If I remember, at the time, in my local newspaper they had picked up a story from an international news service that listed the individuals who sat with Diana's remains at St. Jame's Palace, the day and night before her funeral and Sarah was not listed at St. James.
I have to agree that it would have been best if Sarah would have acknowledged that how shocked she was at Diana's death and expressed that it was a terrible loss and left it at that.

 

[Osipi]

Actually, the night before the funeral, Diana's coffin was moved to Kensington Palace. That is how Paul Burrell was able to keep an all night vigil with the coffin. He is one person that would, most certainly, have mentioned Sarah if she had been there keeping him company at any time.

 

[Denville]

In the same Majesty interview Sarah didn't mention sitting with Diana's remains before the funeral, she mentioned how upset she was and referred to her actions as I've written in my last 2 posts. If she would have included the sitting with Diana action in that interview, I would have remembered.
If I remember, at the time, in my local newspaper they had picked up a story from an international news service that listed the individuals who sat with Diana's remains at St. Jame's Palace, the day and night before her funeral and Sarah was not listed at St. James.
I .

no but someone did mention this.. I m sorry I can't remember who said it, but its possible that in some other interview Sarah said that she'd sat with Diana's body .. however I don't really believe it, as I've said. I also find it hard to believe the story that she called Diana in London, when it had been announced that she had died in Paris.. so I think that her stories are not always true. I think that she tends to try and make a drama out of things, and to make herself more prominent in a narrative than she really is..
And some of it, with Diana, I think was her trying to hide the fact that she and Diana had fallen out, and that Diana woudlnt' take her calls or meet her, at the time..
I do remember at the time that Diana's body was moved the night before the funeral to KP, as I was here In London, and we saw it on the news.. that evening.

 

[Dee Anna]

No I'm sure it is not true, but she may have said it. I imagine that she may have paid a farewell visit....

I do remember reading it (the only reason for remembering it was thinking at the time, how sad now when she is gone and you two can not reconcile when once you had a very close bond) but absolutely no idea of the source. Let it like a lot of things go to myth then.

 

[Denville]

Poor Sarah, I think she regretted the row with Diana, and I DO think that Diana was a bit hard in refusing to forgive her.

 

[Blog Real]

Inside Princess Diana's Complicated Friendship with Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/s...-sarah-ferguson-duchess-of-york-relationship/

 

[AristoCat]

I think Diana fixated unhealthily on Fergie as a rival and didn't realize or accept that she had all the advantages. I also believe that Fergie was unfairly abused by a media that had come to believe that they (the press) had the right to decide which 'role' both women would be in, despite the fact that it isn't the place of the press to decide who is and who is not 'worthy' of being labeled good or bad. [...]


I do however find it intriguing that both were women who wanted to be taken care of and it is clear that, that was their downfall instead of being the daughters of parents who divorced.

 

[Sandy345]

[...]

Fergie also made indiscreet comments about Diana in her autobiography, which did not exactly make her a hit with Diana.

 

[TLLK]

Town and Country reviews the former sisters-in-laws' relationship through the years. At times they were close friends and confidantes later rivals. Sadly their relationship was distant at the time of Diana's death.



https://www.townandcountrymag.com/s...-sarah-ferguson-duchess-of-york-relationship/


Sarah as a support to Diana early on in her marriage to Charles.

Diana invited Sarah to her wedding and gave her a piece of fabric to have made into a dress for the event, but Sarah—who attended the historic occasion alone—later said she felt snubbed not to be invited to the post-ceremony reception. After the wedding, the pair continued to meet weekly for lunch, and Sarah was a confidante to Diana as she struggled with her new role in the royal family. Diana would often call her friend, who would visit her at Buckingham Palace to cheer her up, and Sarah recommended her astrologer to Diana. Sarah later wrote in her 1996 autobiography, “She was two years younger than I, and I strove to support and protect her as I would a younger sister—as I still do today, as a best friend.”

From a happier time in their friendship-Sarah's hen party at Annabel's.

Sarah was the first female member of the royal family to have a bachelorette party. Fergie, Diana and a group of their friends dressed as police women, but got themselves into trouble with the authorities for causing a scene outside Buckingham Palace. After the misunderstanding was straightened out, they went on to society club Annabel’s and later locked Prince Andrew out of the Buckingham Palace gates as he returned from his bachelor party.

Later a rivalry had begun between the two.

Though Diana and Sarah were close, but they were also young, sensitive, and insecure in both themselves and their royal positions, which led to a certain amount of rivalry. Sarah impressed the Queen soon after her wedding in 1986 by getting her pilot’s license; won over Prince Philip by taking up open carriage driving, one of his favorite past-times; and excelled at the kind of sports that the royals love but Diana wasn’t good at, including skiing and horseback riding. Diana revealed to her biographer Andrew Morton, that Fergie “wooed everybody in this family and did it so well. She left me looking like dirt.” The princess added that Prince Charles told her “I wish you would be like Fergie—all jolly.”

 

[Denville]

I'm not sure, with Sarah how much of this "outdoing Diana" at the country things was unconscious and how much was a definite attempt to get an advantage... Altho' Diana was often paranoiac, and I feel a bet sorry for Fergie, I cant help feeling that there was an attempt to outdo her sister in law and a resentment that she had only married the younger son... while Diana was in line for being Queen. Diana was kind to her and did play matchmaker to help her woo Andrew, and yet Sarah seems to have felt that her friend didn't do enough for her and once she did marry into the RF was quick to make these little dids at her friend. And She also was so silly, and encouraged Diana in foolish pranks that dented her image

 

[Osipi]

One thing that could have set Diana off was that it was reported that once upon a time, Charles remarked to Diana "why can't you be more like Sarah?" ?