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Lord Williams 05-04-2004 01:36 AM

Royal Protocol and Etiquette
 
How much royal etiquette is there and can you tell me?

Dennism 05-04-2004 01:48 AM

The first rule of Royal Etiquette is - you do not talk about Royal Etiquette. The second rule of Royal Etiquette is - you DO NOT talk about Royal Etiquette.

Sorry. I could not resist. There must be a lot of it and a lot of it will be different from country to country. The customs of the country itself do not play a minor part as well.

bct88 05-04-2004 06:59 AM

I do know that in England, you do not speak unless you are spoken to. And do not let any part of yourself touch Her Majesty.

micas 05-04-2004 07:06 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol: That apen in Spain to. We just talk with some1 from royal if they speak to you.
Letizia broke that rule :lol: :grrr: :lol: :lol:

royal_sophietje 05-04-2004 07:24 AM

Great avatar Micas!!!

On-topic: I don't know exactly about the protocol in the Netherlands, I hope Mr. Google can help :)

micas 05-04-2004 09:26 AM

:lol: :grrr: :lol: :lol: Thanks, i stay you like my avarat............. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Is a rul that belive existe in all of then. The person always have to walk 2 steps back to the Queen and the King. In resume 2 stepts biaynd them and never can turne the bakcs from them.

micas 05-04-2004 09:29 AM

If you are a regular person, we have to do that with any member from reoyal

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

mgrant 05-05-2004 02:47 PM

Hi!

I think this is a great topic and like Dennism says, it will vary from country to country. Please, by all means, share any more rules of royal etiquette that you know with the rest of us :P

tiaraprin 05-28-2004 11:24 PM

The protocol on meeting a British royal is as follows:

Do not offer your hand to the Royal until they do so.

If you are not a British Citizen, you do not have to curtsy or bow--your choice.

Do not speak to the Royal until they address you.

At the first addressing of the Royal in question you say Your Majesty or Your Royal Highness. After that it is Sir or Ma'am.

Do not attempt getting an autograph--very declasse!

Do not attempt to touch the royal in any other way i.e. a hug, kiss. Very Tacky. The Queen Mum never got over Jimmy Carter hugging her and giving her a kiss!!

If you are a British Citizen or just wish to--Curtsy or bow when the Royal moves on.

hrhcp 05-28-2004 11:44 PM

In England, I hear, you only start to eas when the Queen starts. And the food is removed when the Queen finishes. SO you better eat fast.

tiaraprin 05-28-2004 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by King Christian@May 28th, 2004 - 10:44 pm
In England, I hear, you only start to eas when the Queen starts. And the food is removed when the Queen finishes. SO you better eat fast.
that is true--but the Queen is very considerate. She keeps a salad next to her as a prop so other guests can finish their meals. The one who never finishes on time is Prince Charles and the Queen has just given up on him!

hrhcp 05-29-2004 12:07 AM

oops ... I think I made a mistake .... it was Princess Margaret - the Queen's sister - who it was that wasn't a good host, eating wise. ;)

tiaraprin 05-29-2004 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by King Christian@May 28th, 2004 - 11:07 pm
oops ... I think I made a mistake .... it was Princess Margaret - the Queen's sister - who it was that wasn't a good host, eating wise. ;)
you learn fast King Christian!! Bravo!! Margaret was a spoiled brat!! :innocent:

yvr girl 06-05-2004 10:43 PM

Also, royalty arrives last - don't be late. They also leave first. This used to be a problem with Princess Margaret. She was quite a party girl, and a night owl. People would get worn out waiting for her to leave. She was also quite a stickler for protocol.

Junior royalty (non-monarchs or heads of state) must bow or curtsey to senior royalty.

One should not sit while a member of a royal family is standing (unless you are infirm.)

carlota 06-06-2004 06:59 AM

royal ettiquete in england seems to be very serious and quite antique...

general tips:
even in informal situations, never eat chewing gum.
when you are with a junior or senior royal if you are invited something to drink, you should NEVER ask for any drink with alcohol. (that rule was broken in felipe's and letizia's wedding, when at the end of the dinner they invited their intimate friends with a bar full of alcoholic drinks. however, letizia didn't drink...)
never never never smoke in front of a royal.

micas 06-06-2004 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tiaraprin+May 28th, 2004 - 10:59 pm--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (tiaraprin @ May 28th, 2004 - 10:59 pm)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-King Christian@May 28th, 2004 - 10:44 pm
In England, I hear, you only start to eas when the Queen starts.&nbsp; And the food is removed when the Queen finishes.&nbsp; SO you better eat fast.
that is true--but the Queen is very considerate. She keeps a salad next to her as a prop so other guests can finish their meals. The one who never finishes on time is Prince Charles and the Queen has just given up on him&#33; [/b][/quote]
Poooooooooor Prince Charles :( :( :( :( :(

That mean that he never end his food :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Or he talk to much or eat to slow. How far i can realise in royals meals they just serve the plate made. That is you heat that and you can not reapet. They put the plat in front of you and is that.

In fact the Spanish protocal is horse than the british. He don&#39;t look like that but he is. The Duke of Bragança say in one interviwe that he never see horse than that. The 2 worst protocall is the spanish and the austrieque that don&#39;t existe now because don&#39;t exist an emperador.

Josefine 11-16-2004 05:08 AM

every court has their own Etiquette

semisquare 11-16-2004 10:57 AM

i lov this topic---keep it commin

Josefine 03-24-2005 05:50 AM

Royal Etiquette bwtween royals

I guess how the entering different funktion when there is a royal gathering
or we have seen junior royals bowing or curtsy to senior royals like at märtha luoise wedding i saw them or at least victoria curtsy to the queen of denmark

NJRedDevils 09-28-2005 07:06 AM

Question about marriage betwen Royal households
 
I was wondering , as an example say Lord Frederick of Windsor was dating Princess Madeleine of Sweden and they wanted to marry, does Freddy ask his head of the Royal Family been QEII, b4 asking King Gustav for permission or does he just ask King Gustav?

I know in commenor life the guy asks the girls father/parents.

Or Like CP Frederik, he asked his mother and CP Mary's father for their Blessing. But i was wondering how would it work between 2 different Royal Households wanting to Marry?:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

Josefine 02-04-2006 12:11 PM

i guess dress code depending on the event can be very important when meeting royals

Von Schlesian 02-04-2006 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Josefine
i guess dress code depending on the event can be very important when meeting royals

Absolutely: Those who recieve invitations to Royal Events, or are hosting a Royal event themselves, recieve guidelines about what to wear. Evening dress is probably more limited in it's options, yet again though it totally depends on the event. At highland balls, highland or military dress is usually prescribed for gentlemen, during day-time events (depending on the time of year), a lighter or darker suit would be prescribed for gentlemen, I am not so well informed about ladies, but hats certainly come into play then.

Marengo 02-04-2006 08:46 PM

In the Netherlands most of these rules are already abolished. Only after WWII a courtier had the nerves to tell Queen Wilhelmina that the rule that when she is done with her dinner everybody else should stop as well, caused the guests to go home with an empty stomach (restaurants near the palace were usually filled after a royal banquet). Juliana abolished the curtseying and the walking backwards in a room sas she was afraid somebody would fall and embarrased if old people had to bow.

However some things didnt change. Somebody once started speaking to Queen Wilhelmina, the Queen gave an icely told her lady-in-waiting to inform that person that when in presence of a queen one is not expected to talk first (probably she didn't like the person who spoke as she was usually very courteous in situations like this. Once Paul Kruger attended a banquet at the palace and he mistook the bowl in which you can clean your greasy hands for something to drink from. After the Queen notced that Kruger drank from the bowl she did the same, in rder not to emberras him).

BeatrixFan 02-05-2006 09:07 AM

In Britain, I think the rule still stands that everyone stops eating when the Queen does at smaller dinners but for state banquets, it's been dropped. The Queen is always "Your Majesty" and others are "Your Royal Highness". You never touch a member of the Royal Family unless you're a close acquaintance and have their permission to kiss them etc, you never address them as 'you'. So for example, you say, "Did Your Majesty enjoy the performance?" and not "Did you like it?".

Dress is Britain is extremely complicated and depends on the event. We have morning dress and evening dress and we have rules on what colours to wear and when etc. All very complicated and I'd recommend 'Debretts Guide to Etiquette and Modern Manners' which comes out every 3 or 4 years and is updated. Very handy.

Alexandria 02-05-2006 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeatrixFan
You never touch a member of the Royal Family unless you're a close acquaintance

Despite the more formal attitude she gives off, I think the Queen may be a bit more flexible on certain matters of protocol. A few years ago, when she was in Canada during her jubilee year, she was in Montreal and a famous cyclist went up to her and asked for a picture with her, which the Queen obliged. He then put his arm around her shoulders while his wife took the picture.

My memory is fuzzy, but at some point, either when the cyclist approached her or when he put his arms around her, one of the queen's ladies in waiting made a move to ask the man to not do that, but it was the queen who told her lady in waiting that it was okay and allowed the photo op to go on.

The picture of the cyclist and queen made it to the front pages of many newspapers here in Canada.

BeatrixFan 02-05-2006 11:07 AM

I remember seeing that. And then there was the woman in Africa who threw her arms around her and the Queen gave her a little cuddle back. But Margaret Thatcher was always touching the Queen's arm as if to lead her on which was always seen as a ghastly thing to do and I have to agree. Charles has said that he doesn't like people throwing their arms around him and he says that Americans have no idea when it comes to titles. "I'd rather they called me Charles if they can't manage HRH". Joan Rivers once said that she had no idea how to cope with titles and when she called, "Queenie, Duke and Prince", three dogs came along.

Australian 02-05-2006 11:08 AM

There was an incident when the then Prime Minister Paul Keating of Australia caused an uproar when he touched the Queen's back as a gesture to walk in a certain direction. There were many cartoons about this incident in papers and the Queen wasnt very happy!

BeatrixFan 02-05-2006 11:11 AM

https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2332003.stm

The Cyclist Story and Photo from the BBC.

When Princess Michael of Kent took her children to see Les Dawson in a pantomime, he asked her if she'd come on stage. She did so and they had a great laugh together whilst she danced with him (As Widow Twankey) and generally enjoyed herself.

Warren 02-05-2006 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Australian
There was an incident when the then Prime Minister Paul Keating of Australia caused an uproar when he touched the Queen's back as a gesture to walk in a certain direction. There were many cartoons about this incident in papers and the Queen wasnt very happy!

It was a London tabloid-driven "uproar". Keating touched her back to guide her as he was introducing her to various people.
There was no suggestion from the Palace that the Queen was in any way "offended".
Just another storm in a teacup with a political agenda.

ps.. ref the second photo in BeatrixFan's BBC link (post above): the caption is confusing and does not show the former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating.

BeatrixFan 02-05-2006 11:22 AM

I think that because the Queen is an older lady that the majority have a great deal of affection for, people become protective and want to help her and put their arm around her in a loving and caring sort of way.

susan alicia 02-05-2006 01:51 PM

I have heard that story re the finger bowl about victoria and an indian guest.

Re wilhelmina, someone told me that she merrily farted at soestdijk when she received dignitaries.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marengo
In the Netherlands most of these rules are already abolished. Only after WWII a courtier had the nerves to tell Queen Wilhelmina that the rule that when she is done with her dinner everybody else should stop as well, caused the guests to go home with an empty stomach (restaurants near the palace were usually filled after a royal banquet). Juliana abolished the curtseying and the walking backwards in a room sas she was afraid somebody would fall and embarrased if old people had to bow.

However some things didnt change. Somebody once started speaking to Queen Wilhelmina, the Queen gave an icely told her lady-in-waiting to inform that person that when in presence of a queen one is not expected to talk first (probably she didn't like the person who spoke as she was usually very courteous in situations like this. Once Paul Kruger attended a banquet at the palace and he mistook the bowl in which you can clean your greasy hands for something to drink from. After the Queen notced that Kruger drank from the bowl she did the same, in rder not to emberras him).


RoyalProtocol 02-24-2006 07:35 AM

Royal Protocol
 
Replying to Royal Invitations, if one recieves an invitation from HM The Queen you should respond to it as a Royal Command rather than and Invitation using the formula below:

(Your Name In Full) presents his/their compliments to The (member of the houshold who sent the comand) and has the honour to obey Her Majesty's command to attend (details of the event)


For Example:

The Right Honourable The Prime Minister presents his compliments to the Lord Stewart and has the honour to obey Her Majesty's command to attend the State Banquet in Honour of the Visit of His Excellency The President of Chili on Thursday the Second of September 2005 at seven o'clock.

Princess BellyFlop 02-24-2006 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warren
It was a London tabloid-driven "uproar". Keating touched her back to guide her as he was introducing her to various people.
There was no suggestion from the Palace that the Queen was in any way "offended".
Just another storm in a teacup with a political agenda.

ps.. ref the photo in BeatrixFan's BBC link (post under): the man with his arm around the Queen is not the former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating.

The man is Louis Garneau, the former cyclist and now a successful businessman and designer of sports wear. He's from Quebec City. He's a caring family man with beautiful values.

The incident took place in Ottawa (Onario) - as the Queen NO LONGER comes anywhere in the province of Quebec after some threatening incidents in the 50s or early 60s and also because of the *&?$()?"!!!!! separatist movement in that province. I can use this languague because I live in that province and I am stuck with that political group BEURK.

As a Quebecer, especially a French-speaking one, it took Garneau lots of courage to show his respect to her Majesty. You can guess that being a monarchist is a big no-no in my province. He took a lot of blame for that after the picture was shown. He remained very respectful of her Majesty saying he was very sorry he broke the protocol and explaining that when the picture was taken he just leaned toward her as she was so nice, just like you would do with your grandma or a lovely grand-aunt.

AdmiralSteven 10-13-2006 10:08 AM

Former Royals and State Protocal
 
I'm not sure how to ask this question in an proper way, and thus the reason I didn't do a search (I wasn't sure on how to word the search). So, if this is a question that has been asked, or answered in another thread then I apologize now.

Are former ruling familes, such as the Romonov's, Bourbon's, or any former royal ruling familes, ever given any special treatment? I'm not talking special treatment on taxes or speeding tickets, but in attending state functions, or how they are addressed by members of state? I came across a picture (sorry, I can't find it now) of the funeral of Henri, Comte de Paris, and I got to wondering if anyone from the government would have attended on an "official" basis. Am I making sense? I hope so. Thanks, AdmiralSteven

FarahJoy 07-27-2007 06:16 AM

Protocol - How do Royal people appreciate it ?
 
It is interesting to see in the medias that some Royal persons are quite rigid with the protocole and seem to appreciate being addressed to and treated like a king, a queen, a prince or a princess with all of the advantages linked to their title...

...while some of them, instead, try to escape from it as often as they can and to have what they think is a "normal life" : they send their boyguards to hell, go shopping "incognito" in the next supermarket, like to chat with people on a bench in a park, walk their dog all alone in the bush, push a baby carriage without the help of any servant.

So I was wondering how each of your favorite Royal appreciates either one or the other type of condition :whistling:

carlota 07-27-2007 07:17 AM

i think most of them like a combination of both postures. while they like being addressed properly (some royals actually demanded people to refer to them as "your royal highness") and all the pomp and circumstance of royal protocol, some others are more laid back and participate in activities that some other royals wouldn't. some prefer a bit of both, depending on the circumstance. i guess it depends on how known you are, what role you have in the family and your age and previous position as commoner or royal by blood.

LadyK 07-27-2007 08:40 AM

one story I think fits was when Prince Charles and Prince William went to school (particularly secondary school). Prince Charles always wanted to be addressed as "Your Royal Highness," particularly by teachers, but William just wanted to be addressed only as "William Wales"

Marengo 07-27-2007 10:24 AM

The late Queen Juliana dispised protocol. There was a notorious television interview in the 80-ties with Juliana and Bernhard and when Juliana was asked about protocol she became very angry. Talking about how people were mean and used protocol as an excuse to prohibit her from doing things. SHe especially referred to an incident from her youth, when a courtier prohibited her from doing something with protocol and her mother, Queen Wilhelmina as an excuse.

Juliana was still angry about that 70 years later and raised her voice and said that she was absolutely certain that her mother would allow it, as she wanted her daughter to make fun. In the end Juliana was so angry that she was banging her fist on the table. She explained that there isn't such a thing as protocol, it simply doesn't exsist. Prince Bernhard in the mean time was smoking his pipe and clearly enjoyed his wife's tantrum, with the usual sparkle in his eyes he just had to smile.

norwegianne 09-16-2007 02:43 PM

They would have to ask permission in both countries, the order in which this would be done doesn't seem to be set. It would also depend on if there was a requirement to gain the sovereign's consent on the marriage and not, I think.

Given that Frederick is above the age of 25, he wouldn't have to have the Queen's permission, but if he didn't ask for it, he would have to give notice to the Privy council and then wait 12 calendar months to marry. From what I've gathered from the Royal Marriages act of 1772, anyway. I'm not sure how this would fit into the Act of Settlement from 1701, though?

I suppose as Madeleine is currently 3rd in line in Sweden and Frederick 31st in the UK, as well as the last person in line, it would be more likely to appeal to her father to ask the cabinet for permission for her to wed.

ashelen 11-20-2007 04:19 PM

Anybody know where the princess like maxima, learn protocol and etiquette????

magnik 11-20-2007 04:46 PM

They're someone lik
Etiquette - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
In diplomacy there is someone like chief of protocol.


Btw. anyone know something about like spanich court ceremonial (Spanisches Hofzeremoniell)?

RoyalProtocol 11-22-2007 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeatrixFan (Post 375271)
So for example, you say, "Did Your Majesty enjoy the performance?" and not "Did you like it?".

.

If you have read Debrett's you should know not to ask questions!!

FarahJoy 11-23-2007 11:58 AM

Is it impolite ?
 
I you see a queen or a king or any other royal either on the street or at the exit of a church for instance:

is it impolite or even coarse to adress this person and give her or him a little present and/or tell her/him some kind words ?

Because I read in the Etiquette section that "normal" people are not supposed to adress a Royal first...

Thank you in advance for your information ! ;)

Australian 11-24-2007 06:17 AM

Interesting question, in my opinion, i think that rule would apply in the olden days and not necesarily in this day and age. I'm not sure though, maybe it is still a valid requirement/rule. I don't think a monarch would find it rude if you pay a compliment to them.

Also, if they are in a public place then they should expectpeople wanting to talk or wave at them really.

bbb 11-24-2007 10:15 AM

good question alto as a Texas it goes against my grain to not be polite and friendly. i agee you shouldn't approachat a formal protocol event, but it's a sad day when a friendly good moring while passing on a street is considered impolite. of course "yo queeny" would never do, but a sincere good morning seems ok, imo

Incas 11-26-2007 08:53 PM

I would probably give them space and privacy if they are not on duty. Personally, I would freak if a stranger comes up to me and speak as if they are on familiar terms. I'm not even talking about terrorism, just stalkers (and not just the paparazzi kind) would make such encounters nerve racking. I keep reading about the royals, particularly the younger ones, looking for "normality" or anonimity in daily life. If they are not breaking any laws, I'd leave them alone to walk around in peace.

bijoux 11-26-2007 11:38 PM

While I was growing up in the military, we were taught not to talk to a superior (officer or royalty) until spoken to. Of course, one can always send a warm smile their way.

susan alicia 11-27-2007 05:55 AM

Would YOU curtsey to Camilla? | the Daily Mail

RoyalProtocol 11-27-2007 06:27 AM

I think its fine to say "Good Morning Your Royal Highness" and perhaps give a bow or quick curtsey, but leave it at that, if they want to speak further I'm sure they will otherwise move on and leave it, after all they want to have a life out of the spotlight.

LauraMCS 11-27-2007 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bijoux (Post 698027)
While I was growing up in the military, we were taught not to talk to a superior (officer or royalty) until spoken to. Of course, one can always send a warm smile their way.

I think much of that depends on whether you see a royal as your superior. The HOS is one thing but there children, grandchildren and siblings are a different matter altogether.

Vanishing Lady 12-03-2007 07:58 PM

I think I would drop a quick curtsey, look up and smile, then continue on my way. If he/she wanted to further detain me, they would have to make that move.

FarahJoy 12-04-2007 09:27 AM

Thanks to everyone !
 
Well, I was thinking of a queen I might meet. A lady who knows her well told me she is very simple, doesn't "play queen" in daily life and likes to move around in the city (she meets her regularly while shopping). So if I ever see Her Majesty I do not know what to do. I want to remain respectfull but at the same time express her my true affection.

My respect for this queen is high but I am not good at expressing these things "formally". My "latin side" is prompt to take over...

Well I think I would choose Vanishing Lady's option :flowers: but I guess that with the years Her Majesty is used to receiving the most clumsy expressions of affection from people of all cultural backgrounds !

Thanks to you all again !

fee 12-07-2007 08:29 AM

I think the rule "not to initiate a contact" or address a (royal) first is similar to the Knigge ideas of WHo greets whom first who puts out the hand for the handshake first, etc.
In earlier times those rules were enforced quite strictly in every day life. Men would get up when a lady stood and only resume seating once she also sat down, you wouldn't turn your back to your superior, you would not address a superior without seeking his permission. You can find examples of this behaviour in all walks of life up until I would say WWII. And since clocks in the royal palaces tick a bit slower, you still walk backwards (and pretty awkwardly out of the room still facing the Queen and hoping not to bump into some furniture and make a foul of yourself.)
Other than that I don't think that the rules are so much different:
Who would honestly approach Mr. President and yell a friendly : " Yo, George, how is it going?"
On the other hand I have seen pictures of people posing next to the Queen, arm around her shoulder and she smiled sweetly into the camera (didn't hear of any execution afterwards either:lol:)

BeatrixFan 12-07-2007 01:07 PM

Well, the established rule is you wait for them to approach you but a simple "Good Morning Ma'am" as they pass is a nice way of making a greeting that isn't too pushy and gives them the opportunity to say the same back or to engage in a longer conversation.

WordsUponTheWind 12-15-2007 12:51 PM

I would agree to you, RoyalProtocol ,
but also i think it depends somehow which royal - A Sheik , The Queen or some young prince, princess and of which country.
But since I dont know anyone returning from such an event - maybe its very dangerous :rofl: if you dont do it right. The pictures with the Queen might be fakes.

Anyway - I wonder what would really happened if anyone of us meets any or his favourite royal somewhere in public field. (IMO I would hit the nearest lamppost while looking at her and hummling some Aehs,Ohs - so the most impolite way will happen - with some headage :headache:)

sgl 01-19-2008 03:12 PM

I read in a British publication (I can't remember which one), that unless one is a subject of that particular royal, then one is not required to curtsy when they see a royal on the street or in another public place. I do like to think that if I had the pleasure of meeting a royal in person (i.e. if I was to be introduced to Queen Elizabeth at an event), I would still curtsy. Offering my hand would not seem polite, even though I am not her subject. Has anyone read the same thing?

sgl 01-19-2008 03:19 PM

This is an outstanding thread. I am originally from California, and we (Californians) are rather informal people. It is nice to learn about etiquette and courtesies. It seems that these are things of the past in the United States, and this is not a good thing. One thing that makes me especially crazy is seeing people chewing gum in public and men who spit on the sidewalk. I think that polite behavior is not always evident in today's society. This is unfortunate, and perhaps Americans can learn from these rules of etiquette, despite the fact that we don't have royalty. These rules can apply to everyday life.

radin87 03-28-2008 02:40 AM

In Malaysia, there are 2 types of etique and courtesy that being used..
There are 9 royal families in Malaysia, 8 of them used a traditional Malay custom of etique and courtesy.
While the Johor Royal Family used the same as European system.

candygirl_68 04-10-2008 08:26 AM

i heard that too: you have to bow or curtsy when you meet them, but again it depends wich royal from wich country, it's quite different. ;)

candygirl_68 04-15-2008 04:59 AM

but the european system is more strict or not?

princess gertrude 04-15-2008 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgl (Post 718464)
This is an outstanding thread. I am originally from California, and we (Californians) are rather informal people. It is nice to learn about etiquette and courtesies. It seems that these are things of the past in the United States, and this is not a good thing. One thing that makes me especially crazy is seeing people chewing gum in public and men who spit on the sidewalk. I think that polite behavior is not always evident in today's society. This is unfortunate, and perhaps Americans can learn from these rules of etiquette, despite the fact that we don't have royalty. These rules can apply to everyday life.

I agree with you. I think that the biggest pet peave of mine is chewing while your mouth is open, or you are talking! That drives me CRAZY!! Also, the chewing gum thing, some people look like a cow chewing cud and to me that is not what gum was intended for. I could go on and on but I think you get the idea.

pinkie40 04-15-2008 08:03 PM

Also, it is wise to remember The Queen of Enlgand is not a waitress at a coffee shop/Starbucks. I remember with much embarrassment when Nancy Reagan pleaded with Her Majesty to find a cup of decaffeinated coffee for the President.Her Majesty handled it with wide eyed amusement and bellowed (yes) out to a waiter (this happened onboard Britannia) to fetch a cup while Nancy stood there wringing her hands at The Queen...

wbenson 04-15-2008 10:15 PM

I saw that video. Mrs. Reagan also seemed to shoot her husband a couple glances when he got a little too political, as well.

PrinceOfCanada 04-16-2008 02:01 AM

Yes, I never understood why Mrs. Reagan would ask the Queen for decaf when there were approximately seven thousand serving staff around. I mean, can you imagine HRH Prince Philip saying "George, could you get me a cup of tea?"

Of course not. Horribly gauche.

Madame Royale 04-16-2008 02:57 AM

I've seen that footage a number of times and to me, HM was only too pleased to tend Mrs. Reagan's request. The Queen takes much pride in her guests needs being met, even if it is a mere cup of decaffeinated coffee and I think she gets a tickle out of it. I mean, this is a lady, notably a Queen, who does enjoy the odd protocol mishap afterall.

I don't think she would have thought anything of it really.

Nikki63 04-16-2008 03:13 AM

You must also remember that at this time the Alzheimers which eventually took his life was beginning to take hold. The victims of this disease begin to be easily flustered and tend to focus on innocuous matters to try to maintain some sense of control when things are starting to get fuzzy. Plus...Nancy was totally devoted to him. Whatever he wanted she was going to make sure he got, even if it was simply a cup of decaf. I'm sure the Queen didn't mind it a bit. She has, I'm sure, seen and heard much more demanding, and less polite, requests than that.

candygirl_68 04-16-2008 03:45 AM

yes, HM the Queen is not the type of woman to snarl about every mistake of outstanders.

HRH Kerry 04-16-2008 05:16 PM

Also, the queen has known a lot of different personalities over the years. I'm sure that this incident was something that they laughed about later on.

PrinceOfCanada 04-16-2008 10:18 PM

Quote:

HM was only too pleased to tend Mrs. Reagan's request
Of course she was. The old bird is the very definition of grace. That doesn't mean it wasn't rude to ask her.

Madame Royale 04-16-2008 10:42 PM

As is your opinion.

Amusingly tactless, and hardly an insult. The Queen was afterall her host.

Though why she didn't ask a member of staff I don't know but you weren't there, I wasn't there and it's hardly something the Queen would have been concerned with, I'm sure.

Prince of Chota 04-29-2008 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeatrixFan (Post 702182)
Well, the established rule is you wait for them to approach you but a simple "Good Morning Ma'am" as they pass is a nice way of making a greeting that isn't too pushy and gives them the opportunity to say the same back or to engage in a longer conversation.

If we're going to get into nitty-gritty of protocol, you must first address a royal lady as "Your Highness" before calling her "ma'am" for the rest of the conversation. The same goes for royal men and "Sir".

Prince of Chota 04-29-2008 06:52 PM

Onboard Britannia, HM the Queen is the hostess. It is never impolite for a guest to request something from the hostess; in fact, it is more polite to defer to a hostess with a specific request. I haven't seen the video, but if the First Lady was demanding rather than requesting, it is rude. And pleading is just plain awkward.
Nancy Reagan was apparently very strange to the royal family. She often had no idea how to handle the staff (something which hardly suprises me about the woman).

canadacub 05-08-2008 06:20 PM

I've met Queen Elizabeth at a drisage competition outside of Toronto. She wasn't expected to come into the training area but chose to. I was wearing work clothes and had dirty hands and when she put her hand out to shake mine, I had no choice but to receive it with the bow to go with it (this made me laugh to myself actually).

She was very friendly and asked a few questions and didn't even question the dirt on my hands. After, I nearly fainted when I realized I had just met the Queen, dirty handed!

randomlyKeira 06-02-2008 02:51 AM

I'm not sure if it is considered "protocol", but Queen elizabeth II detests for women to wear pants in her presence. I don't believe it really has any backing in any real "protocol", but more in her old fashioned ways. She doesn't like her lady's in waiting or any of her courtiers that are women to wear pants around her, and wearing a skirt without tights in her presence is considered violation of protocal.

MARG 06-02-2008 05:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randomlyKeira (Post 774189)
I'm not sure if it is considered "protocol", but Queen elizabeth II detests for women to wear pants in her presence.

She must have really loved the state visit to New Zealand when the Prime Minister wore a wonderful dress trouser suit to the Official State Banquet. She is, after all, a lady! Helen, that is. :biggrin: :biggrin: :biggrin:

joko 06-02-2008 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by randomlyKeira (Post 774189)
... She doesn't like her lady's in waiting or any of her courtiers that are women to wear pants around her, and wearing a skirt without tights in her presence is considered violation of protocal.

My mum always says to me: A real lady always wears tights, it doesn’t matter how warm it is outside. And I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe this and as a result I’ve got a book about right behaviour and there is it also written…

Menarue 06-02-2008 08:50 AM

There was a time when a woman couldn´t wear trousers in the presence of Spanish royalty but that has certainly become something of the past.

ashelen 06-02-2008 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joko (Post 774250)
My mum always says to me: A real lady always wears tights, it doesn’t matter how warm it is outside. And I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe this and as a result I’ve got a book about right behaviour and there is it also written…

i knew this too, a real lady use tights, fo this i was thinking too about CP Mary this week end with the short dress and sandals and no tights! i was surprise!

Vecchiolarry 06-02-2008 10:46 AM

Hi,

I have no doubt that The Queen has seen everything in the way of 'gaffs' & 'embarrassments' in her presence. And, she probably just chuckles to herself and then she and Prince Philip have a good laugh later on. :smile: :lol:
After all, they probably don't get much real humour from everybody around them, all acting "correctly"....


Canadacub:
As for you presenting a dirt covered glove to shake her hand - - she wouldn't bat an eye over that as she is many times in the stables herself and handling horses and dogs all the time.
And also, she comes readily equipped always with spare clean gloves - either in her handbag or a lady-in-waiting's handbag.
No sweat there, chum!! I'm glad you met her.... :flowers:

Larry

lilnana 06-02-2008 11:18 AM

I image if you covered in paint, that would be so much worse because then you would have been red handed.

randomlyKeira 06-02-2008 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Menarue (Post 774259)
There was a time when a woman couldn´t wear trousers in the presence of Spanish royalty but that has certainly become something of the past.

Well, yeah! Princess Letizia rarely wears something different, does she?

Prince of Chota 06-03-2008 02:53 AM

Well, if a lady wants to wear a pant-suit (when a suit is appropriate), that is her choice. As long as it looks neat and clean, fine. Gala dinners...are a different story.

Her Majesty does come from a different generation, when pants automatically were equated with extremely casual daily use. I don't think she exactly stews over it, anymore. Maybe back in the 70s or even the 80s, when it was less common for business affairs.

MDS 08-02-2008 12:24 PM

I think most of the royals are used to strangers engaging in conversation with them and take it as part of their job. Frederick and Mary seem to do, and my aunt actually met the queen Margrethe II's father Frederick IX back when he was king on a trip to Skt. Peters cathedral in Rome, and he was very friendly and down to earth and not offended at all by being recognised and spoken to by one of his subjects. He actually engaged in a long conversation with her. But then again he was wellknown for being relaxed, so maybe it also depends on which royal it is and how relaxed they are. And also how they appear in the situation. If they look stressed out, I think I would leave them alone.

Odette 08-02-2008 01:08 PM

I doubt that nowdays with all the security alert to everyone's intentions, any bodyguard will let a passing byer stop and engage a royal in a conversation.
It is a lovely encounter your aunt had with K Frederick but those were other times and royals could be a little more relaxed.
With regard to etiquette I would agree with other posters that no one should address any royal unless that royal shows interest in talking to them.

MDS 08-02-2008 01:19 PM

I'm not saying that you should engage in a conversation if they don't seem interested, I'm just saying that many of them are likely to smile or nod if they pass you by, which I agree rarely happens at random. At official turn ups, it often happens, however. For example I heard on the news that the officials have to plan twice as much time for the crownprince couple to walk down the street than the queen and the prince, because they want to say hello and shake hands with everybody. I think it's like with most other people, you have to have a sense of the situation. But why not nod or say hello, your likely to be looking at them anyway, so why not act friendly.

Odette 08-02-2008 01:27 PM

A long time ago I saw Princess Grace on the street. She was alone with her bodyguard. She had a lovely smile on her face but did not seem to encourage any more than a nod. Besides I was transfixed and could not utter a word even if she spoke.
With regard to those walks about town where people hang over the barrier stretching their hands for a handshake, I guess everything goes.
I agree with you that all depends on the moment and if they give the green light that to approach them is allowed.

MDS 08-02-2008 06:04 PM

That's exciting, was she as pretty in reality? Yes, it probably also depends on the size of the country, here in denmark there are rarely barriers, when they go for a walkabout but it's probably a different story in britain for example.

R_Bee 08-02-2008 07:09 PM

I probably wouldn't approach a royal if I saw him/her out in public, because I would feel like I was invading their space. Actually, I wouldn't approach any well-known person (politician, movie star, athlete, etc.) if I saw them while out and about for the same reason. You just never know how well people are going to react to being approached like that, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Plus, security would probably try to hurry me away anyway.

Odette 08-02-2008 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MDS (Post 806670)
That's exciting, was she as pretty in reality? Yes, it probably also depends on the size of the country, here in denmark there are rarely barriers, when they go for a walkabout but it's probably a different story in britain for example.

I saw her in Lausanne Switzerland on the street. She looked exactly like the photos and she was beautiful. No one went near her and she was actually walking in the middle of the pedestrian street.
It is an "awkward" feeling to be so close to someone like a royal and I suppose even if someone would talk, I'd lose my voice from the emotion.....BTW I am talking about true royals:wub:

Odette 08-02-2008 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R_Bee (Post 806684)
I probably wouldn't approach a royal if I saw him/her out in public, because I would feel like I was invading their space. Actually, I wouldn't approach any well-known person (politician, movie star, athlete, etc.) if I saw them while out and about for the same reason. You just never know how well people are going to react to being approached like that, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Plus, security would probably try to hurry me away anyway.

I feel exactly the same way.

MDS 08-02-2008 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odette (Post 806692)
I saw her in Lausanne Switzerland on the street. She looked exactly like the photos and she was beautiful. No one went near her and she was actually walking in the middle of the pedestrian street.
It is an "awkward" feeling to be so close to someone like a royal and I suppose even if someone would talk, I'd lose my voice from the emotion.....BTW I am talking about true royals:wub:

Yes I imagine, I wouldn't know what to say either, if I wasn't prepared. And even if I was I would probably feel I was asking the same questions as everybody else. I mean, they must have heard it all. Unless you have something specific to talk about.

What do you mean; true royals as opposed to what?

Odette 08-03-2008 02:24 PM

As opposed to those who crave the limelight.........

MDS 08-03-2008 04:49 PM

I see what you mean, those aren't very impressing..

LauraMCS 08-03-2008 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by R_Bee (Post 806684)
I probably wouldn't approach a royal if I saw him/her out in public, because I would feel like I was invading their space. Actually, I wouldn't approach any well-known person (politician, movie star, athlete, etc.) if I saw them while out and about for the same reason. You just never know how well people are going to react to being approached like that, and I wouldn't want to upset anyone. Plus, security would probably try to hurry me away anyway.


They would feel perfectly entitled to approach you and wouldn't care if they invaded your space. Why should they be treated with more respect than you? They are not special and shouldn't be treated as such.

Next Star 08-03-2008 05:28 PM

I would proably leave the royal alone being that are bothed by so many people.
I have talents that can use if I want to be in the limelight by using them professionally.
Now this title situation if I had a title or titles I would try to make them legal I would
have to go through a process to make the title or titles legal but I were denined I
would use that title or titles as a courstey.

Odette 08-03-2008 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LauraMCS (Post 806933)
They would feel perfectly entitled to approach you and wouldn't care if they invaded your space. Why should they be treated with more respect than you? They are not special and shouldn't be treated as such.

You mean you would approach anyone anywhere because you believe they are your equal? I would not dream of it. Everyone is entitled to their own space and approaching people who do not know me, just because I feel I am entitled to a chat is unthinkable to me.

kbear 08-03-2008 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgl (Post 718460)
I read in a British publication (I can't remember which one), that unless one is a subject of that particular royal, then one is not required to curtsy when they see a royal on the street or in another public place. I do like to think that if I had the pleasure of meeting a royal in person (i.e. if I was to be introduced to Queen Elizabeth at an event), I would still curtsy. Offering my hand would not seem polite, even though I am not her subject. Has anyone read the same thing?

A handshake is acceptable in this decadent age and is all protocol requires but a curtsey or a bow is considered particularly courteous
(Thats what we were officially told when QE2 visited Aus anyway.

LauraMCS 08-03-2008 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odette (Post 806939)
You mean you would approach anyone anywhere because you believe they are your equal? I would not dream of it. Everyone is entitled to their own space and approaching people who do not know me, just because I feel I am entitled to a chat is unthinkable to me.

I don't believe I am their equal. I know that I am superior to every one of them in every aspect of life. There is no royal, politician or celebrity who is worthy of respect or even basic politeness but if I chose to approach them I would do so in a hearbeat. The point is that if a famous person or royal wanted to approach a non-royal/famous person for any reason whatsoever there is nothing in the world to protect the non-royal from the intrusion. That is equally unthinkable but it happens every day.

R_Bee 08-04-2008 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LauraMCS (Post 806933)
They would feel perfectly entitled to approach you and wouldn't care if they invaded your space. Why should they be treated with more respect than you? They are not special and shouldn't be treated as such.

No, I don't like having my space invaded, which is why I try to be considerate of other's need to privacy as well. If I really didn't feel like talking to somebody, I would let them know, whether they're royal or not. However, in most cases if someone want to say hi or whatever I try to return it, just because it's the nice thing to do. It has nothing to do with thinking royals deserve more respect than me, or that I am "below" them somehow.

Odette 08-04-2008 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LauraMCS (Post 806956)
I don't believe I am their equal. I know that I am superior to every one of them in every aspect of life.

This is a wonderful , I guess, superiority feeling to have. It helps in life.

There is no royal, politician or celebrity who is worthy of respect or even basic politeness

I beg to differ. There are a lot who earned respect, others don't. But I cannot make a blanket statement like this.

but if I chose to approach them I would do so in a hearbeat. The point is that if a famous person or royal wanted to approach a non-royal/famous person for any reason whatsoever there is nothing in the world to protect the non-royal from the intrusion. That is equally unthinkable but it happens every day.

Since I have never been approached by the royals and the famous and have them intrude in my life, so far, I have no comment on that part of the post.:whistling:


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