Discussion about Mette-Marit's past

[paulette]

I think people should not directly judge Crown Princess Mette-Marit with her royal life now based from her past..Hello!! it is the past already.. If she has been that wild that she had a son, that was in the past and she already learned a lot from it.. I can really see that she is trying to cope up with her responsibilities as an important member of the royal family.. Norweigans should also be thankful because they have a Crown Princess who is so hardworking amidst criticisms...

[Alexandria]

Originally posted by paulette@Jun 30th, 2003 - 5:19 pm
I think people should not directly judge Crown Princess Mette-Marit with her royal life now based from her past..Hello!! it is the past already.. If she has been that wild that she had a son, that was in the past and she already learned a lot from it.. I can really see that she is trying to cope up with her responsibilities as an important member of the royal family.. Norweigans should also be thankful because they have a Crown Princess who is so hardworking amidst criticisms...

Very well said, Paulette!

(Sigh) I wish others were as open about Mette-Marit as you are. I am not a Norwegian myself so Mette-Marit does not represent me abroad or otherwise. But I think she has done a very impressive job considering the constant, incessant scrutiny she has been under since pretty much the day she met Haakon. Not just the "regular" scrutiny that goes along with meeting the family of your boyfriend and whether or not you are "good enough" for their son/brother. But the scrutiny and attention of the media and photographers, public officials and groups, etc., and criticisms about her past life, son, previous relationships, clothes, make up, hair and anything else she did. And all that while undertaking royal duties and "learning" to be a princess.

Mette-Marit has admitted to a not too perfect past. But who can claim a perfect past without ever having made a single mis-step? And she has shown that she is willing to work hard and become a good representative for the royal family and Norwegians. What more can we expect of her?

[ews]

I really agree with this. So true. I think people have been so hard on her. What young person doesn't go out get drunk, do an E or something and jsut dance the night away? Big deal if she did. she shouldnt' have to apologise for it. Even if its royalty. They still **** on a toilet as well!

http://www.andtheylivedhappilyeverafter.com/72.htm
A real prince

"Your soul sparkles with light. Everything we do with love comes alight. Mette-Marit, I love you."

These are hardly the words you'd expect to hear coming from a Crown Prince after his very public and very elaborate royal wedding. We're so used to chaste little pecks from far-off balconies and stories of the abject misery that surrounds stiffly formal royal unions that most such weddings are dismissed as the dull and loveless political matches that they usually are. But when Crown Prince Haakon of Norway married the love of his life, a single mother named Mette-Marit Tjessem Hoiby, on Saturday, there was hardly a dry eye in the entire country.

Theirs is a fairy tale romance if one ever existed, not for the spectacular ceremony conducted at Domkirke Cathedral in Oslo or for the cheering thousands who lined the route to wave to the young couple, or for the dream-like world from which the new bride and groom will govern Norway someday. It's a fairy tale because of the incredible obstacles this couple has had to overcome to simply be together and for how much each has had to suffer to arrive at this day.

Mette-Marit is not some sheltered and decorous princess brought up to sip her tea elegantly and converse meaninglessly at galas - she is an "ordinary woman", with as much to regret in her past as anyone does. And no one has let her forget it. She is a commoner, and apparently has a "wild" past - she had a child through a brief affair with a drug addict, a child who will have no official standing in the royal household but who stole the hearts of the entire country and his new step father all the same. She used to "party", whatever that means, and on the eve of her wedding, the newspaper announced that someone has incriminating video and photographs of her, which are incriminating, I assume, because they show her naked or engaging in sex or who knows what else. She was also a waitress, which instead of signifying someone who works and supports herself seems to translate as "low class" to the Norwegian monarchy. For these reasons, the king and queen were quite alarmed when their son, the Crown Prince Haakon, openly moved in with her and then announced that he would marry her, whether anyone liked it or not. So alarmed, in fact, that the prince's father, King Harald of Norway, chose his son's wedding to deliver a soul-baring speech in which he welcomed Mette-Marit into the royal family but also took the time to remind her that he and his royal wife had initially been very unhappy about their son's choice of bride.

And for these reasons, even her wedding day was fair game for those who wanted to make good and sure she realized just how magnanimous everyone was for tolerating her presence. The days leading up to her wedding were so filled with media interviews in which she had to admit, for the umpteenth time, that she had led a "dissolute life" that when the wedding day finally came, the emotional stress of it all reduced her to tears every time someone - the king, the bishop who married her, you name it - commented on how brave she was for choosing to say yes to an "unknown future", implying, perhaps, that a common little tramp like her might not be on this magic carpet for long and so she'd better not get too comfortable. Imagine hearing those inspiring words on your wedding day.

The thing I find interesting - or depressing, depending on which way you look at it - is how eager so many societies are to continue living under a monarchy, as though "royal" families are somehow more special than the rest of us, and how willing they are to be judged by these people in terms of character and morality. I fully understand the human desire for a hero to worship, but in my estimation, heroes are formed by the depth of their character, the heroic nature of their actions, the achievements and accomplishments of their life - not by the arbitrary appointment of this person over that person as some sort of divine "royal". How is it that some king can stand up and announce publicly that he's proud of the way his new daughter-in-law pulled herself up out of the mud, since he wouldn't want any of that mud dripping onto the marble floors of his palace? Who is he to hold up his standards - those of a fairy tale existence untouched by the realities of life, an existence he lucked into by being born to the right people - as some sort of unimpeachable perfection that mere mortals like her shouldn't have the impudence to aspire to?

From the looks of it, Crown Princess Mette-Marit did live what she calls "a dissolute life", but more importantly, she got herself out of it. She developed character and embraced morality, she decided she wanted better for her son and strove to improve her life and his. She met someone she fell in love with and decided to face the barrage of insults and innuendo that would surely come her way because of her past, and marry him anyway. She has demonstrated intelligence, grace, charm, patience, stamina, strength of character and determination, not to mention how highly she values her son and her husband - but some guy wearing a red satin sash and a gold thing on his head has the right to play holier-than-thou and judge whether she has lived up to his arcane and artificial standards?

While it's true that King Harald had some kind words for her and praised her for having risen above everything, it bears remembering that it was he, and people like him, who presented her with obstacles to rise above in the first place. It demonstrates a lack of tact and decorum and plain old fashioned manners to constantly remind someone that you only grudgingly tolerate their origins - in fact, it is the exact opposite of what "regal" and "noble" and "gentle" are supposed to connote.

I'm very glad Prince Haakon chose to follow his heart, and I do believe in the end his parents are glad too. To be fair, his father did praise him for having the courage to ignore protocol and marry for love. Perhaps these royals have learned a lesson from some of the very people sitting in the audience at the wedding - Prince Charles for example, and his much-maligned and, of course, absent lover Camilla Parker Bowles. Perhaps the Prince Haakon figured out, as the rest of us did, that marrying yourself off to some virginal doe for her bloodlines and her child-bearing hips, all in the name of some outdated throne that you'll probably never sit on anyway if your mother has anything to say about it, can only lead to disaster. Anyone who witnessed the farce of a marriage that Diana and Charles lived through - or who has observed that, however much the press
likes to savage Camilla' s lack of physical beauty, she and Charles are obviously in love and have been forever, and should have just gotten married thirty years ago when they wanted to - will agree that this business of sacrificing your heart and your romantic life for your country or your family's rigid caste system is one of the most heartbreaking things a person can experience.

I'm sure that whatever troubles Mette-Marit and Haakon had to endure in the months leading up to their wedding will be more than made up for by the sumptuous life they are embarking on, but it is still a shame that they had to endure anything at all. I admire them both for their temerity and their dedication to each other in the face of adversity, but what I find the most heartwarming about their story is how simply and beautifully they illustrated that marriage is about love, and it is more valuable than any crown, any country, any social code. I suspect theirs will be one of the longest-lived of the high-profile marriages, and certainly one of the happiest. At the very least, they have resurrected the romance of marriage, and touched the hearts of everyone who used to believe that marriage was a wonderful thing, and everyone who wants to still.

[carlota]

maybe the comments in this post are quite hard for the people who like her, but i'm not trying to ofend anyone. it's just my opinion. i known i'll get lots of critiques for this, but try to be respectful, i'll also try (i remember the experience of past comments on this subject....). remember that is just my opinion.

i really find quite unfair the way people treated her after that wedding, all that comments were so rude and unpolite... not exactly a way to treat 'anybody', royal or not.
however, mette marit is not the ideal princess. and i won't judge her because of the parties, because of the child, because of her being a waitress or a strawberry picker or because of marius. i will forgive also that 'plane incident'. after all, those jobs are very decent jobs, who hasn't been to a party? and.. marius deserves respect as he is only a child. also, the plane incident is quite understandable thinking she really had problems with planes.
i will only say one thing: is she the suitable one? aren't there better women to do that kind of job? haakon felt in love with her, madly. but i'm sure he can also love (and a lot) a girl who can fullfy (sp?) all the expectations for a crown princess. what haakon did was some kind of fancy and caprice. his job as royal and as crown prince of norway involves 3 main tips: giving his service to norway, choosing a good wife to be the next queen of norway and giving a heir to the throne. in my opinion he didn't choose a good 'wife' for norway only a good wife for him.
did you saw the images of her going to a show where she kissed some men who where there and appeared as some kind of 'lolita'? that was really disgusting. do you think people in norway would respect her as another girl who hasn't been involved in such things? i don't really think norway deserves a queen like that.

[sky]

The images that you saw of M-M kissing men, was that before she married Haakon or after? I think that she is growing into her role as Crown Princess and is doing a good job. I don't think that she is the best, but what is better, Haakon being unhappy with the perfect wife, or haakon being happy with a wife who tries to do her role the best she can?

[Dennism]

What do you mean by "do an E"?

[Genevieve]

Originally posted by sky@Jun 20th, 2004 - 10:01 am
I think that she is growing into her role as Crown Princess and is doing a good job. I don't think that she is the best, but what is better, Haakon being unhappy with the perfect wife, or haakon being happy with a wife who tries to do her role the best she can?

I agree. Would Norway prefer a Crown Prince and a future King who is unhappy but has a perfect wife or a Crown Prince and a future King who is madly in love with his wife, irregardless of whatever upbrining she had, whatever life she led before meeting him.

I think Mette-Marit is doing the best she can and as you said, growing into her role every day. Becoming a Crown Princess is not something that one "becomes" over night, even if you are granted that title in a matter of moments. Enter a church a mere commoner and half an hour later leave it the future queen of a country. But the process of learning to serve your country well can take years. Even those born into monarchies are not necessarily perfect or even good princesses just by virtue of their birth. There are growing pains in any role or job one undertakes, and being a good Crown Princess is no different.

[Genevieve]

Originally posted by Dennism@Jun 20th, 2004 - 1:46 pm
What do you mean by "do an E"?

I think that means doing the drug ecstasy.

[suturegeisha]

Adding my two cents, I think Mette-Marit has done very well in adapting to a rather tough role, all while in the face of constant criticism.
I'm glad that Haakon is so happy with her, and she with him. It's a lovely thing to see.

Just because one is born royalty, doesn't mean that they will lead a life of perfect decorum [the Grimaldis and the Windsors coming to mind.....].

-Kara-

[Angel S.]

Originally posted by carlota@Jun 20th, 2004 - 9:09 am

i will only say one thing: is she the suitable one? aren't there better women to do that kind of job? haakon felt in love with her, madly. but i'm sure he can also love (and a lot) a girl who can fullfy (sp?) all the expectations for a crown princess.

My dear child, and I call you that not as an insult but because I assume you are young or inexperienced or both. Although I may not be old myself I have been through things which have taught me a lot about life, things that I wish you never have to experience. But I must say that love is an amazing thing & true love is not something you find often. If you get it once hold on to it because it may never happen again. Sure you may love but not so deeply, not so intently. There is a feeling that comes with that very special kind of love that you won't get with another kind of love. I wish I could find the words to describe it but I haven't the skill. Just know that you should never pass up a love so deep & so perfect because you probably will never find it again & you'll live the rest of your life with the memory of it. It's a haunting that will torment you always.

[mgrant]

Wow, that was some article. I had no idea all that went on. I am hard put to say anything about Mette-Marit. While she has done more things in her life than I'll ever do :P , I've done some things I'm not too terribly proud of. All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, learn from your experiences and move on.

It's all too easy for people to sit in judgement of others, especially when they themselves aren't any better than the person being judged. I can't, like Carlota, say I can forgive Mette-Marit for some of her actions because who am I? I don't think as myself high enough or holy enough go around forgiving people for offending what I deem to be my own personal set of morals.

If the Prince loved her and married her, fine. Mette-Marit doesn't fit your standards for a princess? Get in line! I bet she doesn't meet a whole lot of people's standards for a princess. The only standard that matters is the prince's and she's just fine for him. :flower:

[carlota]

you are talking as if mm was our friend or a known person. royals are some kind of politics, they have to serve a country, so maybe that's why i take the 'license' to judge her. however, i didn't say anything rudely or unpolitely. it was just my opinion as i stated in my first post, not a judgement.

[mgrant]

Originally posted by carlota@Jun 21st, 2004 - 1:00 pm
you are talking as if mm was our friend or a known person. royals are some kind of politics, they have to serve a country, so maybe that's why i take the 'license' to judge her. however, i didn't say anything rudely or unpolitely. it was just my opinion as i stated in my first post, not a judgement.

The reference was not directed at you, Carlota :P. I know everything here is all opinions and that was mine. If I offended you, I apologize. :flower:

[hailey]

I don't believe anyone has touched on what MM's children may have to endure.

However, I believe what will hurt MM and Haakon in the long run will be when Marius and their daughter Ingrid will see these stories........on the internet, in newspapers, and in magazines. I still read articles, that, at the end, have a paragraph about MM's dissoulte past. I don't know if these stories will ever go away completely.

No matter how well they may prepare Marius and Ingrid and any future children for what they may read about their mother, it will still be a shocker!! Or what they may hear in school....in the classroom and in the playyard.

Marius is probably using the computer now (supervised at home probably, but may not be elsewhere). Look at this board......and many other boards who still discuss this and it has been over 10 years since she did the things she did. It will probably always be news.

These are my thoughts. My main concern is the children and how they will handle with what may come their way. THey will have to be very strong.

[tiaraprin]

Originally posted by ews@Jun 20th, 2004 - 5:24 am
I really agree with this. So true. I think people have been so hard on her. What young person doesn't go out get drunk, do an E or something and jsut dance the night away? Big deal if she did. she shouldnt' have to apologise for it. Even if its royalty. They still **** on a toilet as well!

"Your soul sparkles with light. Everything we do with love comes alight. Mette-Marit, I love you."

These are hardly the words you'd expect to hear coming from a Crown Prince after his very public and very elaborate royal wedding. We're so used to chaste little pecks from far-off balconies and stories of the abject misery that surrounds stiffly formal royal unions that most such weddings are dismissed as the dull and loveless political matches that they usually are. But when Crown Prince Haakon of Norway married the love of his life, a single mother named Mette-Marit Tjessem Hoiby, on Saturday, there was hardly a dry eye in the entire country.

Theirs is a fairy tale romance if one ever existed, not for the spectacular ceremony conducted at Domkirke Cathedral in Oslo or for the cheering thousands who lined the route to wave to the young couple, or for the dream-like world from which the new bride and groom will govern Norway someday. It's a fairy tale because of the incredible obstacles this couple has had to overcome to simply be together and for how much each has had to suffer to arrive at this day.

Mette-Marit is not some sheltered and decorous princess brought up to sip her tea elegantly and converse meaninglessly at galas - she is an "ordinary woman", with as much to regret in her past as anyone does. And no one has let her forget it. She is a commoner, and apparently has a "wild" past - she had a child through a brief affair with a drug addict, a child who will have no official standing in the royal household but who stole the hearts of the entire country and his new step father all the same. She used to "party", whatever that means, and on the eve of her wedding, the newspaper announced that someone has incriminating video and photographs of her, which are incriminating, I assume, because they show her naked or engaging in sex or who knows what else. She was also a waitress, which instead of signifying someone who works and supports herself seems to translate as "low class" to the Norwegian monarchy. For these reasons, the king and queen were quite alarmed when their son, the Crown Prince Haakon, openly moved in with her and then announced that he would marry her, whether anyone liked it or not. So alarmed, in fact, that the prince's father, King Harald of Norway, chose his son's wedding to deliver a soul-baring speech in which he welcomed Mette-Marit into the royal family but also took the time to remind her that he and his royal wife had initially been very unhappy about their son's choice of bride.

And for these reasons, even her wedding day was fair game for those who wanted to make good and sure she realized just how magnanimous everyone was for tolerating her presence. The days leading up to her wedding were so filled with media interviews in which she had to admit, for the umpteenth time, that she had led a "dissolute life" that when the wedding day finally came, the emotional stress of it all reduced her to tears every time someone - the king, the bishop who married her, you name it - commented on how brave she was for choosing to say yes to an "unknown future", implying, perhaps, that a common little tramp like her might not be on this magic carpet for long and so she'd better not get too comfortable. Imagine hearing those inspiring words on your wedding day.

The thing I find interesting - or depressing, depending on which way you look at it - is how eager so many societies are to continue living under a monarchy, as though "royal" families are somehow more special than the rest of us, and how willing they are to be judged by these people in terms of character and morality. I fully understand the human desire for a hero to worship, but in my estimation, heroes are formed by the depth of their character, the heroic nature of their actions, the achievements and accomplishments of their life - not by the arbitrary appointment of this person over that person as some sort of divine "royal". How is it that some king can stand up and announce publicly that he's proud of the way his new daughter-in-law pulled herself up out of the mud, since he wouldn't want any of that mud dripping onto the marble floors of his palace? Who is he to hold up his standards - those of a fairy tale existence untouched by the realities of life, an existence he lucked into by being born to the right people - as some sort of unimpeachable perfection that mere mortals like her shouldn't have the impudence to aspire to?

From the looks of it, Crown Princess Mette-Marit did live what she calls "a dissolute life", but more importantly, she got herself out of it. She developed character and embraced morality, she decided she wanted better for her son and strove to improve her life and his. She met someone she fell in love with and decided to face the barrage of insults and innuendo that would surely come her way because of her past, and marry him anyway. She has demonstrated intelligence, grace, charm, patience, stamina, strength of character and determination, not to mention how highly she values her son and her husband - but some guy wearing a red satin sash and a gold thing on his head has the right to play holier-than-thou and judge whether she has lived up to his arcane and artificial standards?

While it's true that King Harald had some kind words for her and praised her for having risen above everything, it bears remembering that it was he, and people like him, who presented her with obstacles to rise above in the first place. It demonstrates a lack of tact and decorum and plain old fashioned manners to constantly remind someone that you only grudgingly tolerate their origins - in fact, it is the exact opposite of what "regal" and "noble" and "gentle" are supposed to connote.

I'm very glad Prince Haakon chose to follow his heart, and I do believe in the end his parents are glad too. To be fair, his father did praise him for having the courage to ignore protocol and marry for love. Perhaps these royals have learned a lesson from some of the very people sitting in the audience at the wedding - Prince Charles for example, and his much-maligned and, of course, absent lover Camilla Parker Bowles. Perhaps the Prince Haakon figured out, as the rest of us did, that marrying yourself off to some virginal doe for her bloodlines and her child-bearing hips, all in the name of some outdated throne that you'll probably never sit on anyway if your mother has anything to say about it, can only lead to disaster. Anyone who witnessed the farce of a marriage that Diana and Charles lived through - or who has observed that, however much the press
likes to savage Camilla' s lack of physical beauty, she and Charles are obviously in love and have been forever, and should have just gotten married thirty years ago when they wanted to - will agree that this business of sacrificing your heart and your romantic life for your country or your family's rigid caste system is one of the most heartbreaking things a person can experience.

I'm sure that whatever troubles Mette-Marit and Haakon had to endure in the months leading up to their wedding will be more than made up for by the sumptuous life they are embarking on, but it is still a shame that they had to endure anything at all. I admire them both for their temerity and their dedication to each other in the face of adversity, but what I find the most heartwarming about their story is how simply and beautifully they illustrated that marriage is about love, and it is more valuable than any crown, any country, any social code. I suspect theirs will be one of the longest-lived of the high-profile marriages, and certainly one of the happiest. At the very least, they have resurrected the romance of marriage, and touched the hearts of everyone who used to believe that marriage was a wonderful thing, and everyone who wants to still.

What an eloquent and beautiful post. I was touched by it. You are right and it made me angry to think that even the King was insulting her on her wedding day. I give her much credit also. I too was a non-believer at first of Mette-Marit, but I feel she has proved herself worthy and no longer needs to apologize for her past.

[Dennism]

Originally posted by Genevieve+Jun 20th, 2004 - 3:49 pm--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Genevieve @ Jun 20th, 2004 - 3:49 pm)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Dennism@Jun 20th, 2004 - 1:46 pm
What do you mean by "do an E"?

I think that means doing the drug ecstasy. [/b][/quote]
Thanks for the information. I plead innocence when it comes to such things. :P

[Wisnu]

Being crown princess not such a difficult job, cutting ribbon in many occassion, being president of various organization with large number advisor, that&#39;s why the capability like MM can accomplish.

A few people want to see the heir to throne or their spouses accomplish their own life, look at Mathilde, Maxima, Laurentien, Alexandra, no doubt many people really satisfy with their life achievement. Even scandalous Mabel and Letizia, still can be forgiven with what they got in their life. Then I don&#39;t mind the person like Carlota really bothered with Hakkon choice. Scandal perhaps many people still have mercy it just "the past" but the woman with no life achievement except the capability to produce a heir will be Queen of Norway, this is 21st century not Queen Victoria era.

Also I can not imagine, how if Inggrid Alexandra take her mom footstep, being a single parent and consume drugs.

[carlota]

Originally posted by mgrant+Jun 21st, 2004 - 1:45 pm--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (mgrant @ Jun 21st, 2004 - 1:45 pm)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-carlota@Jun 21st, 2004 - 1:00 pm
you are talking as if mm was our friend or a known person. royals are some kind of politics, they have to serve a country, so maybe that&#39;s why i take the &#39;license&#39; to judge her. however, i didn&#39;t say anything rudely or unpolitely. it was just my opinion as i stated in my first post, not a judgement.

The reference was not directed at you, Carlota :P. I know everything here is all opinions and that was mine. If I offended you, I apologize. :flower: [/b][/quote]
never mind, mgrant.

Scandal perhaps many people still have mercy it just "the past" but the woman with no life achievement except the capability to produce a heir will be Queen of Norway, this is 21st century not Queen Victoria era.

i agree completely.

[Jasl]

Originally posted by Wisnu@Jun 22nd, 2004 - 3:00 am
Being crown princess not such a difficult job, cutting ribbon in many occassion, being president of various organization with large number advisor, that&#39;s why the capability like MM can accomplish.

Life achievement doesn&#39;t merely refer to careers or diplomas... it would be sad if that&#39;s all that constitutes "life achievement". And at the end of the day, I don&#39;t think people adore Maxima, Alexandra etc because they&#39;ve had such and such careers, but because they are good people, care very much for their new country, and do much for their new country.

And I don&#39;t think being a Crown Princess is at all easy... there&#39;s so much they have to face apart from cutting ribbons. There are the expectations they have to handle, the scrutiny, and yes, the physical work too (I imagine they do much behind the scenes). Masako&#39;s situation shows that its not enough to have diplomas etc.... I think the scrutiny would just be unbelievably hard to handle.

[Reina]

You know many ppl say that Mette-Marit is not really sophisticated or whatever like the other CP's, but that is totally irrelevant cuz she and Haakon love each other. We know she loves her country cuz she is Norwegian, but I think she is totally fit for the job. Yeah she had a past, but she got over it (even b/f she met Haakon). And I really like Haakon and Mette-Marit cuz they are unique and individual and totally themselves. And that is all that matters!