Should Camilla attend the memorial service for Diana?


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Anyways I chose the example of the affair, emotional pain, and the rottwiler comment to illustrate what Diana remembers of Camilla and what she thought of her. This is not someone she'd want at her memorial.

If your husband had an affair, and you hated this woman enough to call her any names, whether at your best or worst, you blamed this woman for your marriage break up whether true or not, and this woman later married your husband, would you want her at your memorial service standing next to your children?

I don't think Diana would have. Thats all I am saying.

but we have to remember is that diana is dead, how she feels, what she thinks and taking her feelings into consideration is no longer important. what's important is her children and how they choose to remember her. a lot of people have indicated that it was her children that knew her best but let's be honest...how can 2 children that young really know her best. i think the only people that knew her best would be her brother and sisters. her children saw the best of her yes (and they're choosing to celebrate that part of her), but they weren't old enough to understand the torment or pain. yes they saw things happen between their parents but diana confided far too much in william when he was far too young to be anyone's confidante.
 
o you personally know Camilla and Charles, do you speak to them, have you received a tell all letter from them detailing their opinions and feelings? No? you seem to have no trouble assigning opinions/thoughts/motives which you approve of to Camilla and Charles because you like/admire them.

They're alive, it's quite different.
 
Let's turn the heat down, please. Of course none of us knew Diana, none of us know Charles and Camilla, and as ysbel so very wisely said the other day, none of us own Diana's memory. So this tit-for-tat posting is fairly useless as well as being annoying.

Thank you.

Elspeth

British forum moderator
 
They're alive, it's quite different.

True but you still don't live around them and we didn't live around Diana neither so all we think, all we express in opinions etc. are deducted by photos, books, informations (reliable or not) and of course what we personaly feel.

Edit : sorry Elspeth, delete it if you want :flowers:
 
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If your husband had an affair, and you hated this woman enough to call her any names, whether at your best or worst, you blamed this woman for your marriage break up whether true or not, and this woman later married your husband, would you want her at your memorial service standing next to your children?

I don't think Diana would have. Thats all I am saying.

Well it depends on whether I still hated my ex-husband and the other woman. If I had found a life outside of my first husband and then at my deathbed if someone told me my husband and his second wife would be at my memorial it wouldn't bother me so much. But if I hadn't come to terms with the affair or if I hadn't made something of my own life and somebody told me that my ex and his second wife would be there, it would bother me a lot.

But regardless, if at any time in my life I hated someone enough to call them nasty names, I sure as hell wouldn't want that aspect of myself remembered at my memorial. It would be too embarassing.
 
Well it depends on whether I still hated my ex-husband and the other woman. If I had found a life outside of my first husband and then at my deathbed if someone told me my husband and his second wife would be at my memorial it wouldn't bother me so much. But if I hadn't come to terms with the affair or if I hadn't made something of my own life and somebody told me that my ex and his second wife would be there, it would bother me a lot.

But regardless, if at any time in my life I hated someone enough to call them nasty names, I sure as hell wouldn't want that aspect of myself remembered at my memorial. It would be too embarassing.

That's why it's such a tough decision. How would have Diana been like today? It's a question we can't answer and never be able to. But we have to think that in the worst situation which would be that Diana didn't get on and still feels anger for Camilla, the best thing for Camilla would be to not attend. Although if Diana had made a new life and didn't care about her ex-husband and his wife then coming or not to the memorial doesn't matter.
Considering both situations, especially the worst, Camilla shouldn't go. But again that's my humble opinion.
 
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If Camilla doesn't go, I think Prince Charles probably will have some difficulties to deal with the occasion. Prince Charles has to be there,doesn't he? Some Diana fans do not want him there, but Prince William and Harry want their father to remeber their mother together. And they invited Camilla because they know Prince Charles needs her to be with him. The same reason why Camilla was finally invited to Queen Mother's funeral because the Queen knew Charles was very upset and he needed Camilla to be with him even they cannot sit together at that time.

It is up to the princes to decide whom they want to invite. I think Camilla have talked with them and make the decision with Charles together. Camilla is a calmer for Prince Charles in any situation and William and Harry want a calm father rather than a very upsetting father.
 
Not a very forgiving, kind or friendly perception. Diana was never, IMO, obsessed with Camilla, she used Charles' confession and her interview as a way of hitting at Charles.

The picture most of her 'fans' on here and in the press are painting, is a nasty, vindictive woman, who had many lovers of her own and would have been unwilling to move on. The very person whose memory they are trying to preserve, destroyed once again.

It has a touch of: "Jews killed Jesus - so Jesus asks us to act against Jews..." - sorry, this is a witch hunt going on without anyone actively involved wanting it! IMHO Diana wouldn't have wanted anyone to spoil this memorial for her sons.
 
If Camilla doesn't go, I think Prince Charles probably will have some difficulties to deal with the occasion. Prince Charles has to be there,doesn't he? Some Diana fans do not want him there, but Prince William and Harry want their father to remeber their mother together. And they invited Camilla because they know Prince Charles needs her to be with him. The same reason why Camilla was finally invited to Queen Mother's funeral because the Queen knew Charles was very upset and he needed Camilla to be with him even they cannot sit together at that time.

It is up to the princes to decide whom they want to invite. I think Camilla have talked with them and make the decision with Charles together. Camilla is a calmer for Prince Charles in any situation and William and Harry want a calm father rather than a very upsetting father.

Of course, it's totally understandable. But if Charles is upset, it's not to his wife, the person who made Diana suffer so much to support him. It's a different situation than the Queen Mother's funeral. It's to William and Harry to help him and I'm sure just like you that they will do the right thing. The idea of Camilla helping Charles to go through Diana's memorial sounds so odd to me :ermm:.
 
That's why it's such a tough decision. How would have Diana been like today? It's a question we can't answer and never be able to. But we have to think that in the worst situation which would be that Diana didn't get on and still feels anger for Camilla, the best thing for Camilla would be to not attend. Although if Diana had made a new life and didn't care about her ex-husband and his wife then coming or not to the memorial doesn't matter.
Considering both situations, especially the worst, Camilla shouldn't go. But again that's my humble opinion.

You've forgotten a third scenario, TheTruth.

What would be the best scenario for William and Harry to stage a memorial for their mother and give them strength and courage to carry on their parent's legacy and fulfill the awesome responsibilities that are in their future; to William as the future King of William and to Harry who will always be one of the top ranking members of the Royal Family - a future that includes the great legacy that their mother built for them but that also includes Camilla as their father's wife and eventual consort in his sacred royal kingship?

Which picture of their mother do you think they would want to memorialize - what would give them more strength to carry on? A picture of a forgiving wiser Diana who only wanted her sons to be human and be happy and to make the world a better place by touching people with her unique humanness? Or the lonely hurt Diana who became so obsessed that Camilla had what she didn't have that she went public with the affair and hurt herself and others (including her children)

Which Diana do you think William and Harry want to remember? Which image of Diana will make it easier for them to develop in their royal roles with Charles and Camilla as their parents?

So which Diana do you think William and Harry will choose to remember and hold up to the world as an example of what type of person their mother was like?

Someone said that history is written by the winners; I think history is written by the survivors and in this story William and Harry are the survivors, not Diana, not even Charles and Camilla. They are going to have to live with their mother's legacy for a long time. If they can craft a legacy that makes their destiny a bit easier and lighter to carry, then, I think it is a good thing.
 
After that brilliant post ysbel, what can I say ? It's great if they think the same way as you ! Why can't you become a Royal advisor or that sort of thing ?
 
Ysbel that was a brilliant post!

I didn’t mean to cause such a stir with my opinion everyone. I am a big Diana fan, but I am also one that is happy for how things turned out for Charles and Camilla present day. :flowers:

I still believe this is one event Camilla shouldn’t go to.

BTW,here is question for everyone. Before you jump, just hear me out.

I believe Camilla was also invited to the big concert for Diana Memorial last month and in the end she never showed up and neither did Charles, if I remember correctly.

Everyone seemed to survive their no show at that event without much notice. So why would people really care if she skips this one memorial? There will be others. Don't you think the real focus should be on Diana and her memory, not centered around if Camilla is there or not. JMO

Peace everyone :flowers::angel:
 
Thanks Windsor and TheTruth! :flowers:

I don't think Camilla's non-attendance to the memorial will suddenly turn all the attention back on Diana again. I think it will only switch the talk to why and how Camilla came to the decision to not attend. The papers would be discussing whose decision was it anyway, the Queen, Charles, Camilla, the boys. And then what was Camilla's reaction if it wasn't her idea. And what was Charles' reaction if it wasn't his idea. You get the picture.

The Daily Mail and other papers had an awesome opportunity to place the focus of the memorial on Diana's life but they chose not to do so.

But if Camilla turns down the engagement, Richard Kay of the Daily Mail is likely to crow long and hard of how he brought the Duchess to shame and to heel by forcing her out of the memorial. And then it will make it even harder for Camilla to attend the next engagement that the tabloids decide she should not attend.
 
They damn her if she goes, damn her if she doesn't go. If she goes, she is a spiteful vixen trodding on Diana's memory. If she doesn't go, she is a damned coward. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. (Not my thoughts at all)

But in a choice between the two "evils", I'd say she should go because at least then she is pleasing/supporting her family. Like I said before, she is a tough old lady. She's braved the storms of media scrutiny all these years. She will be fine.
 
I believe Camilla was also invited to the big concert for Diana Memorial last month and in the end she never showed up and neither did Charles, if I remember correctly.
Both boys made it clear that none of the senior royals were invited/expected to attend the concert, but that HM, DoE, Charles and Camilla were invited to and would attend the memorial service. :flowers:
 
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Both boys made it clear that none of the senior royals were invited/expected to attend the concert, but that HM, DoE, Charles and Camilla were invited to and would attend the memorial service. :flowers:

Yes, it seems that the concert was for the young'uns mostly, with a few exceptions. It was just as well most of the older members of the family stayed away, because can you imagine the Queen, Prince Philip sitting through the P Diddy performance? :eek:
 
Both boys made it clear that none of the senior royals were invited/expected to attend the concert, but that HM, DoE, Charles and Camilla were invited to and would attend the memorial service. :flowers:

Thanks Skydragon for clearing that up for me. I thought they were invited to the concert as well, and thought it was surprising that no one made anything of their absence. Now I see why. :)

I see now how that puts all the focus on this memorial.
 
Yes, it seems that the concert was for the young'uns mostly, with a few exceptions. It was just as well most of the older members of the family stayed away, because can you imagine the Queen, Prince Philip sitting through the P Diddy performance? :eek:

Would have been tickled pink to see that! :D
 
"IMHO Diana wouldn't have wanted anyone to spoil this memorial for her sons.

i totally agree with you and think its a shame the attention isn't on their mother. instead the stupid tabs are concentrating on stirring up bitterness and stress, it's just a shame how this must be hurting them.

i said a long time ago (it feels like this thread is never going to end and it's still weeks away) camilla is going to get slammed no matter what she does, but she's survived worse and i'm sure will be respectful and dignified. i wish the focus could have been on diana, which would have pleased her sons and made a sad anniversary something positive. gosh i'm so naive, i need to get off the farm more :ohmy: i enjoyed your post very much ysbel.

anybody know where i can get a dead horse or splattering egg icon:lol:
 
We already have a dead-horse smiley. Please use sparingly.:D


:deadhorse:

As for splattered eggs - I hope there won't be enough call for splattered egg smilies that it becomes necessary to add one to the gallery, assuming they exist. Which they may well do.

*wanders off to have a look*
 
i said a long time ago (it feels like this thread is never going to end and it's still weeks away) camilla is going to get slammed no matter what she does, but she's survived worse and i'm sure will be respectful and dignified. i wish the focus could have been on diana, which would have pleased her sons and made a sad anniversary something positive. gosh i'm so naive, i need to get off the farm more :ohmy:
As I put yesterday, if Camilla had released a statement saying she would not attend, the uproar would have been the same. Then she would have been accused of not supporting her husband or stepsons, that by not attending she was refusing to show respect for Diana's memory. So you were right all along, not as naive as you thought you were! :flowers:
 
can you imagine the Queen, Prince Philip sitting through the P Diddy performance?

"Oh Philip,do be stop complaining, I can't hear whether P Diddy is going to smack his bitch up or get down with his homies".
 
I don't go along with the dammned if she does/dosn't go at all. Despite what people on this forum think I am convinced that most members of the public think it will be in bad taste for her to go and will express this feeling should she attend. I simply can't imagine there being the same uproar if she dosn't.
 
well, Prince William and Prince Harry have publicly stated that they would invite Camilla to attend the service along their father and their grandparents.I would like to regard it as the princes want to show their support and accpetance toward Camilla which then Camilla responses her bravery to walk through the tide. The Princes also want to let the life move on and bring a sense of peace among those who knew their mother depsite their postions. I would like to think Diana has moved on and she would be glad that Charles has found his peace of mind and her boys are loving,kind, and compassion young people who can forgive if not forget things.
 
well, Prince William and Prince Harry have publicly stated that they would invite Camilla to attend the service along their father and their grandparents.I would like to regard it as the princes want to show their support and accpetance toward Camilla which then Camilla responses her bravery to walk through the tide. The Princes also want to let the life move on and bring a sense of peace among those who knew their mother depsite their postions. I would like to think Diana has moved on and she would be glad that Charles has found his peace of mind and her boys are loving,kind, and compassion young people who can forgive if not forget things.

Wise post love_cc :flowers:. When you said 'their grandparents', I've just realised that they haven't got any grandparents on their maternal side since Johnnie Spencer and Frances Shand Kydd are dead. I never thought that way before ...
 
It was Diana herself who informed the world of the great pain Camilla caused her and the strain she put on her marraige. The Princess confronted her and asked her to stop sleeping with her husband, which she ignored. The wrongs we do to others should not merely be brushed aside with the words "lets move on", life does go on but there has to be a level of contrition. Camilla is now married to Charles and they are happy but she should show Diana a respect in death that she never showed her life, by absenting herself from sitting among those who truly loved and miss the Princess for to do otherwise would be hypocritical and insulting in the extreme.
 
It was Diana herself who informed the world of the great pain Camilla caused her and the strain she put on her marraige. The Princess confronted her and asked her to stop sleeping with her husband, which she ignored.

This is one of those controversial areas where people are going to have different attitudes which will inevitably inform their opinions. I consider that the person Diana should have been asking was her husband, not Camilla. And would her marriage have been instantly "fixed" if Camilla had agreed to stop sleeping with Charles? I don't think so. By then the rot had well and truly set in and it was already permanently and irretrievably damaged. And I also believe that by the time Charles & Camilla were together, Diana was sleeping with other men. So I place this request in the hypoctritical and "designed to get sympathy for self" basket.

The wrongs we do to others should not merely be brushed aside with the words "lets move on", life does go on but there has to be a level of contrition. Camilla is now married to Charles and they are happy but she should show Diana a respect in death that she never showed her life, by absenting herself from sitting among those who truly loved and miss the Princess for to do otherwise would be hypocritical and insulting in the extreme.

I don't see what Camilla did as being a "wrong" to Diana. It might have been a "wrong" to Andrew, but not to Diana. Diana didn't own Charles.

Camilla and Charles have already confessed their "sins" during the ceremony of blessing etc. after their marriage. How many times are they expected to do it?

Camilla will be criticised whether she goes or not. I am willing to bet she would rather not go, but it is her duty to go with her husband, and go she should.
 
I've read the discussion and thought about everyone's views a great deal, but I still do not resile from my original position, i.e. that I do not believe that the Duchess of Cornwall should attend. From all that I've read, here and in the UK, she, wise woman that she is, forsaw the difficulties and problems for her own self, but she's capitulated to her husband's 'demands'. If this is indeed so, then my sympathy for Camilla knows no bounds.

I will never not believe that the memorial service is an attempt to re-position the history books. I do not accuse Diana's sons of any untoward purpose at all, but I do think that they are being used for what I think are spurious purposes by those with an agenda. Indeed, the whole exercise seems more than spurious to me. My reasons are thus:

700 people have been invited to this service. A memorial service, so far as I'm concerned, is for those who loved and admired the deceased and to remember them with affection and spiritual nurturing. In fact, I have some experience in organising memorial services and prayers for a deceased and much-loved member of my own family, every year, on the anniversary of his death. Only those whom he loved and who loved him are invited to participate, though others have asked to be included, to no avail. Now, some who loved and admired Diana have been excluded. No matter what the reason, a memorial service, a deeply spiritual and religious event, has absolutely no place for petty paybacks, no matter what the provocation. In short, I think it uncivilized and certainly not consistent with the ultimate purpose of a memorial service.

I've read where some people are also baffled by the choice of the Bishop of London, Richard Charltres to give the memorial address. The Royal Family may well view Charltres as a safe choice, due to his long term friendship to Prince Charles. but observers have noted that Chartles barely knew the princess. There are also others in the UK, not only friends of Princess Diana, who have never understood Charltres for failing to carry out other explicit wishes for the distribution of her estate. As one of her trustees, he was bound to make sure that her "letter of wishes' was carried out. Few people know that Diana's "letter of wishes" had been struck out on a legal technicality and that,therefore, her executors, whom she absolutely trusted, failed to even attempt to do as she asked. Because people who have some knowledge about these things view Chartles as a negligent trustee, they see him as unsuitable as a memorial speaker.

Last (and this made an indelible impression on me)............

I was in London in June 2000 and walking around the Kensington Palace area. I came across a ceremony to dedicate the Diana Memorial Playground, very close to the Palace. It is a wonderful, exciting place for children, built on JM Barrie's (Peter Pan) ground, complete with an enormous pirate ship, teepees, and all sorts of inventive attractions for children. A brilliant design, in fact, which children to this day enthuse over.

About 200 people were officially present, including Earl Spencer and his children, many of Diana's friends and other family, but not one, single, solitary royal. Not one! Many of them lived within a two minute walk to the playground, I assure you. Upon enquiry as to 'why', my husband , who was able to ask such questions, was told that everyone was just too busy, including Diana's sons. (well, I wonder if they were even asked, young as they were then).

It was a sweet and an endearing occasion, with Diana's little five year old goddaughter, Domenica (Rosa Monkton's daughter) who suffers from Down's Syndrome, doing the honours and opening the playground. I'm sure that Diana would have absolutely loved that and applauded.

Thus, I remain completely skeptical about this imminent memorial service. In my sense of a Christian world, it's almost offensive to me. iI's punishing, discriminatory, vindictive, obviously political and unnecessary. The only one showing any calibre of character or sense about it is Camilla.

Please don't respond with 'if the boys want it...' They are not boys; they are grown men, one of whom cavilled at not being permitted to go to war and the other almost is the same age as his grandmother was when she assumed the throne. They are not, perhaps, as wise in the ways of the world as are the dreaded courtiers and PR proponents who dictate almost everything.
 
I don't see what Camilla did as being a "wrong" to Diana. It might have been a "wrong" to Andrew, but not to Diana. Diana didn't own Charles.

Charles was Diana's husband If I believe correctly sleeping with another person's spouse is wrong whether you like it or not.
 
I don't go along with the dammned if she does/dosn't go at all. Despite what people on this forum think I am convinced that most members of the public think it will be in bad taste for her to go and will express this feeling should she attend. I simply can't imagine there being the same uproar if she dosn't.


My sentiments exactly, Angela.
If Charles nees some "support" at the memorial, he can stand between his two sons.
 
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