corazon said:
I believe that with camilla there are two realities, I believe that she is accepted as consort royal but loved I do not believe that she is. is my very personal opinion. is a great difference between being accepted and to be wanted.
Many, many royal persons was respect but no loved.
That is a very wise comment corazon and it is the main reason that although I disapprove of adultery I have to admire Camilla.
Women have been raised to seek approval and love to the point that if a woman is not considering loving or seeking approval, she is treated by society as less of a woman. Women are taught from a young age to judge themselves by how much others love them.
Women are raised to be the good girl and I believe this is what holds many women back in their jobs and trapped in destructive relationships. I've seen the need for approval in women around me and I've seen how they get slammed by office politics in corporations run by men and they get trapped in relationships with men who don't deserve them. I'm fighting the need of approval myself.
When men seek love and approval to the point that women do, men get slammed for not having enough self-respect; yet, for women, not having self-respect is not considered a big deal. Its OK for a woman not to have self-respect; its not OK for a man. On the other hand its OK for a man to look out for himself even if it hurts someone else but its not OK for a woman. That is unfair and sexist IMHO. No wonder more men treat themselves better than women do.
For a woman to basically do as Camilla did and say, the public be damned, I'm going after my own needs, is so rare and discouraged for women that I cannot help but admire it even though I don't necessarily approve of the affair. She is now seeking more public approval but this time it is for the right reason. She wants the relationship to continue, she needed to marry Charles to give their relationship legitimacy, and now that they're married, her public approval is tied to his and to the public acceptance of the royal family. They need some measure of public acceptance to continue. But Camilla is not silly enough to tie her own self-worth and self-esteem to whether the public loves her. IMHO it is not a defeat if the public accepts her but doesn't love her; it is a victory.
There is a book out that I want to read
I Need Your Love - Is That True? : How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead
I've heard good things about it; basically it says rather than seeking love and approval from others, you need to find them in yourself. Approval addiction is a major problem that affects women from all walks of life and surprisingly Camilla is a great role model for women trying to get over the need to be loved and approved all the time.
