Charles and Camilla: The Marriage (2005 and on)

[XeniaCasaraghi]

Over the past 20yrs "what does Charles see in Camilla" has usually been about the looks, so I get where the person was coming from. I admit that during my Camilla hating days I couldn't see it either. It would be nice to say that Charles looked passed the physical, but when he met Camilla she was rather attractive though definitely not as pretty as Diana. There has to be something enduring to her to keep Charles around for so long and have him fight to make her his wife. Plus the fact that she is on such friendly terms with her ex-husband that she invites him and the woman he cheated on her with, to her wedding to the man she cheated with.

 

[Queen of Quitealot]

They loved each other in their youth, but apparently Charles was not ready for marriage when Camilla was. For whatever reason Camilla chose not to wait for him to be ready & married someone else. Charles later made a marriage for dynastic reasons to a very young woman, too young (at 19) to know what she was truly getting into. That Charles at some point in time (either before or after his marriage) rekindled a relationship with a married woman was wrong, period, for both Charles and Camilla. That Diana strayed outside the marriage, even if it was an unhappy one, was also wrong.

There is fault to be found all round. At this point, why try to portion it out to see who carries the most? Charles & Camilla have loved each other for years, finally got married, & are happy. Diana also made her choices in life as she matured (& don't get me wrong, I am a Diana fan & still admire her) and died a tragic death. If she had lived, loved again, remarried, and been happy, would people still 'hate' Camilla? I doubt it.

Let Diana rest in peace. Let Charles & Camilla be happy.

 

[Tyger]

They loved each other in their youth, but apparently Charles was not ready for marriage when Camilla was.

But also, Camilla wanted to marry Mr Parker-Bowles. Even had Charles asked Camilla to marry him its an open question if she would have said yes. It was Parker-Bowles she wanted - and got.

Also, its been an impression I have that Camilla has never wanted a life 'in the spotlight'. She was someone very content with her life in the country - and IMO she would happily still be living that life had not events moved to propel her into her current role. I suspect that Camillia was not 'in love' with Charles early on - and potentially not even Charles was - like she would be later on when events moved to throw them back together.

 

[VictoriaStyles]

They loved each other in their youth, but apparently Charles was not ready for marriage when Camilla was...

Thank you. This is such a reasonable, rational post and I am so glad to see it. I have to say that I agree with your every point and think you expressed them well. I kinda figure that if Diana's sons can still love their mother but also have affection and respect for their step-mother, then why can't everyone else? I just don't get why it HAS to be either Diana or Camilla at this late date.

 

[Baroness of Books]

As for living in separate houses, that's just a matter of personal space. Not all married couples want to be together 24/7/365. I remember reading that Charles like his space, so Camilla gives him that by going and visiting her children, or what have you. I think the ability to be apart from one's spouse is a sign of a healthy relationship, where both partners are not co-dependant on one another and are able to function and have their own individual interests.

If guys can have their "man caves," so can females so good for Camilla hanging onto her house as her own sanctuary where she can experience a break from royal life and entertain her family.

Man cave - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[HRHHermione]

If guys can have their "man caves," so can females so good for Camilla hanging onto her house as her own sanctuary where she can experience a break from royal life and entertain her family.

Plus, we must remember she spent a significant portion of her life in that house- her children grew up there, and I'm sure there are sentimental attachments to it. Obviously, finances are not a problem and she had no real financial reason to sell the house, so why shouldn't she keep it if it makes her happy and her children happy?

 

[Baroness of Books]

No, I wouldn't be quick to give up my property either if I could afford it and if it has sentimental attachment for me. At least Camilla can still experience some level of normalcy away from royal life at her little oasis. And it's always healthy to have some time and indulge in a certain amount of separate interests from your spouse.

 

[NGalitzine]

Plus, we must remember she spent a significant portion of her life in that house- her children grew up there, and I'm sure there are sentimental attachments to it. Obviously, finances are not a problem and she had no real financial reason to sell the house, so why shouldn't she keep it if it makes her happy and her children happy?

I thought she bought Ray Mill after her divorce from Andrew.

 

[HRHHermione]

I thought she bought Ray Mill after her divorce from Andrew.

Perhaps I'm mistaken. I was only assuming that was the case.

Either way, I think she's well within her rights to keep her property and enjoy it and I don't think it says anything negative about her marriage.

 

[TortillaChips]

Thank you. This is such a reasonable, rational post and I am so glad to see it. I have to say that I agree with your every point and think you expressed them well. I kinda figure that if Diana's sons can still love their mother but also have affection and respect for their step-mother, then why can't everyone else? I just don't get why it HAS to be either Diana or Camilla at this late date.

Totally agree and what I can't understand is if someone is such a fan that it implies they don't like William and Harry, despite their 'idol' loving them so much.

 

[VictoriaStyles]

Totally agree and what I can't understand is if someone is such a fan that it implies they don't like William and Harry, despite their 'idol' loving them so much.

Okay, now that's totally nuts! I can't even begin to imagine not liking the two young men, especially if one was/is a Diana fan. Maybe the answer lies in the fact that the word "fan" stems from the word "fanatic." And maybe that little factoid also explains a lot about the whole, let's just say, overly enthusiastic fandom that exists for some people. It's a thought anyways.

 

[Zonk]

Please note that off topic posts about Camilla's expenses prior to her marriage to Charles have been deleted.

Additional off topic posts will be deleted without notice.

Zonk
British Forums Moderator

 

[Lady74]

So the church of England does not acknowledge divorce? I never knew that. Thanks

 

[Osipi]

Perhaps I'm mistaken. I was only assuming that was the case.

Either way, I think she's well within her rights to keep her property and enjoy it and I don't think it says anything negative about her marriage.

Actually with Camilla retaining Ray Mill as a bolt hole, I see it as a positive in their marriage. This is a couple that have retained a very close intimate friendship spanning some 4 decades and after they married in 2005, they knew each other inside and out and love and respect each other's little quirks. Charles likes his solitude and peace and quiet and with Camilla off at Ray Mill filling the house with her children and grandchildren, its a win-win situation.

Many older couples (I'm among them) don't have that option but I'm sure the majority would vouch that they'd love time away from each other now and then. That is really one thing that I sorely miss with having my hubby retire.. my alone time.

 

[Lady74]

I'm sure any home (palace etc) that Prince Charles lives in would have plenty of room for his wife to have some "alone" time. To say otherwise is beyond belief.

 

[HRHHermione]

I'm sure any home (palace etc) that Prince Charles lives in would have plenty of room for his wife to have some "alone" time. To say otherwise is beyond belief.

She could also be retaining it as an inheritance/investment for her children. That makes sense as well- she'll want to leave her own legacy to them, and obviously they won't be in line to inherit anything that belongs to Charles and the Royal Family.

 

[Iluvbertie]

The Church of England does acknowlege divorce.

In 2002 they even went so far as to allow divorced persons the right to marry in church - something they hadn't done to that time. They did put a caveat on that - that the two persons shouldn't have played any part in the breakdown of the previous marriage but that was left to the discretion of the minister concerned.

Had Charles and Camilla wanted to I am sure they could have found a minister who would marry them within the church - I know mine would have done so but then again he wouldn't have married Charles and Diana as he never believed they were right for each other and so wouldn't have felt right carrying out that service - again his right.

No a minister doesn't have to marry in the church to be a minister - they can marry in a CoE service, another christian service or a civil service.

The monarch is automatically the Supreme Governor of the Church of England - by law - a law passed in 1558 - the Act of Supremacy of Elizabeth I. It will take another Act of Parliament to change that position and title.

Charles and Camilla were married in a civil ceremony and then the Archbishop of Canterbury blessed the union - a practice that had been going on for decades for divorced persons before the 2002 changes.

 

[Tyger]

I'm sure any home (palace etc) that Prince Charles lives in would have plenty of room for his wife to have some "alone" time. To say otherwise is beyond belief.

Nope. I can vouch for what Osipi is saying. I have two older friends who have the means and are able to sustain independent abodes - not for always but for every now and again - totally one's own space. The arrangement that Charles and Camilla have come to - given they are wealthy - is very familiar to me. If you're young this may be inexplicable but once you get to a certain age other sensibilities prevail. It has nothing to do with there being a 'problem' in the relationship - if that's what you're suggesting.

 

[Kataryn]

A Royal lifestyle is different from the lifestyle of the British Upper Class, not much in difference but still. A Royal is always surrounded by staff and has always to uphold a certain image. While at her own house, Camilla can be really private. Charles never had that kind of privacy, so he doesn't miss it but for her, I believe those days like the old ones are very precious.

 

[Iluvbertie]

A Royal lifestyle is different from the lifestyle of the British Upper Class, not much in difference but still. A Royal is always surrounded by staff and has always to uphold a certain image. While at her own house, Camilla can be really private. Charles never had that kind of privacy, so he doesn't miss it but for her, I believe those days like the old ones are very precious.

Exactly - she has been used to being able to run her own house most of her adult life but with Charles is it different considering the number of staff etc.

The Queen has never known anything different than having lots of staff around her as well as has Philip.

Charles and Camilla will make a fine King and Queen - because he has been trained for the job by The Queen (unless you believe that she has failed in that important duty).

 

[PrincessKaimi]

Yes, it's impossible to totally have "one's own space" while living inside a house that another person is in charge of. It really requires that each person have their own house/staff/command of residence.

One could arrange one's large house so that it had dual staff and so on, but it is very nice to truly have one's own space.

 

[Tyger]

No I suggesting that anyone who lives in such huge houses does not need ANOTHER one to have alone time. They could live in one place and not see each for weeks if they didn't want to.

Well, they could but that's not what they have chosen to do - so why should it be such an issue for you? I ask because I'm just curious. You say you're not suggesting there is anything amiss with their relationship.

Living together in one place is good enough for the Queen and Prince Phillip. God save us when she goes and we have this spoiled pair on the Throne.

You make this an issue of virtue, seems like. You have a criteria for how wealthy people should choose to live their lives. How do you know that is the case for the Queen and Philip? You are making assumptions. A certain decorum seems to hold for the Queen so that her personal life is not scrutinized or questioned.

Charles and Camilla spoiled? Well, they are wealthy and wealth means that they can make their wishes reality - as can the Queen and Philip - even though we may not be aware of their personal arrangements. Wealthy people have the where-withal to make any arrangements they like. Truth to say, having my own house would always be an attractive option. Does that make me suspect? Or my relationship suspect? Or make me spoiled?

 

[Lady74]

Well, they could but that's not what they have chosen to do - so why should it be such an issue for you? I ask because I'm just curious. You say you're not suggesting there is anything amiss with their relationship.

You make this an issue of virtue, seems like. You have a criteria for how wealthy people should choose to live their lives. How do you know that is the case for the Queen and Philip? You are making assumptions. A certain decorum seems to hold for the Queen so that her personal life is not scrutinized or questioned.

Charles and Camilla spoiled? Well, they are wealthy and wealth means that they can make their wishes reality - as can the Queen and Philip - even though we may not be aware of their personal arrangements. Wealthy people have the where-withal to make any arrangements they like. Truth to say, having my own house would always be an attractive option. Does that make me suspect? Or my relationship suspect? Or make me spoiled?

I was commenting on a post saying she needed another house to have alone time which is completely wrong in MO. Nobody needs another house to have alone time , to live separately yes you do. And I'm not commenting on you or your marriage.

 

[Lady74]

Thank you I now understand why they had a civil marriage

 

[Tyger]

I was commenting on a post saying she needed another house to have alone time which is completely wrong in MO. Nobody needs another house to have alone time, to live separately yes you do.

So you don't like it - or its out of your sphere of experience perhaps? - but because that is the case it does not mean its 'wrong'.

My friend's husband who is a writer feels he does 'need' a separate place where he writes - if he didn't have the cottage he wouldn't be able to work (write) - he feels. My friend - his wife - prefers not to be around him in his creative mode.

I think your point is that you believe that Charles and Camilla are 'living separately' because they have their own houses. You've made that link - but it is not necessarily the description of what Charles and Camilla are doing. I think that's what many of us are suggesting.

 

[Lady74]

So you don't like it - or its out of your sphere of experience perhaps? - but because that is the case it does not mean its 'wrong'.

My friend's husband who is a writer feels he does 'need' a separate place where he writes - if he didn't have the cottage he wouldn't be able to work (write) - he feels. My friend - his wife - prefers not to be around him in his creative mode.

I think your point is that you believe that Charles and Camilla are 'living separately' because they have their own houses. You've made that link - but it is not necessarily the description of what Charles and Camilla are doing. I think that's what many of us are suggesting.

Well lets call it separate living on occasion and not alone time then we should all be happy

 

[Roslyn]

I fully understand Camilla retaining her own house and wanting to spend some time there occasionally, or even regularly, and I don't think the fact she does is an indication of anything other than that she wants to, can, and does. I certainly do not take it as an indication that she and Charles are living separately. As I just see it as their life together including her having space that is hers and not hers only because she is Charles' wife.

For more than half a century Camilla lived a relatively normal and relatively private life and she has children and grandchildren from that life with whom she wants to live as normal a life as she can in her changed circumstances. I suspect that having a home that is her own, where she has the final say in who visits, what is done, what is eaten, etc., and which is not crawling with servants and courtiers so she can do and eat and entertain, etc., in relative privacy, allows her to feel she still has some control over her life. I have no trouble at all with that concept; in the circumstances it seems perfectly reasonable to me. She gave up a lot to marry Charles.

 

[VictoriaStyles]

Excellent, Roslyn. I do believe that it has to be easier for both Camilla herself and her children/grandchildren to spend time together at her house rather than at one of the homes she shares with (and because of) Charles. Can you just imagine the inconvenience and embarrassment involved in needing to get permission to visit your Mother at her residence? I, personally, would much rather meet her in a private home that she owned. I am quite certain that her family's level of comfort has a bit to do with why she retains and occasionally stays at her house. But then, that's just my take.

 

[Osipi]

Another aspect if I remember what I read correctly is that one of Charles' idiosyncrasies is that everything be exactly where it belongs and everything spic and span. He's a perfectionist. This is where Camilla very much differs from her husband as she is reputed to be less fussy and one could imagine her with her grandchildren in the kitchen making cookies and making a big mess of it to boot. She doesn't have to worry about little kids and sticky fingers and a loud rip roaring game of hide and go seek disturbing the peace of Highgrove. Ray Mill most likely is a more relaxed atmosphere totally away from royal life and Camilla can truck through the house in her muddy boots should she want to.

It works for them and they both seem very extremely happy together and in my book that's really all that matters.

 

[Roslyn]

It works for them and they both seem very extremely happy together and in my book that's really all that matters.

I totally agree.