When did your opinion of Diana change and why?

[LOSSEAN]

I love the Royal Family and I love Diana, first because she was a member of the Royal family and then because of herself. I think she is a lovely person and it is unfortunate her royal marriage did not work out, but without it we might not have come to know her and all the wonderful things she stood for especially in the field of charity work. I think of her whenever I read about her sons and I know she is indeed a special mother because of the wonderful tribute they did in 'Concert for Diana'.

 

[Keenie]

I am an older woman and I have to say my opinion of Diana started with "what a charming young woman" to "What a beautiful woman inside and out". It was the the things Diana did wrong that endeared her to me. I think the most important thing to Diana was her role of being a Mother to her children and she did a great job. Having a chump like Charles for a husband must have been a slap in the face to her and quite frankly, I am glad there are still 3 people in that marriage. I wonder how Camilla feels about that? Diana was endearing when she was at her very worst. My opinion has not wavered.

 

[Amelia]

My opinion changed after the her affairs became public knowledge. Diana had never really interested me at all but my aunt had the Morton book and I just decided to read it one day. After I finished it I did pity her a little; being cheated on by your husband/boyfriend is a horrible thing to experience but I was still pretty much indifferent to her. When it came out that she had her own affairs what little pity I did have for her disappeared quickly, not because she had her own relationships outside her marriage but because she had the audacity to play the "poor me, my husband had an affair" card yet neglected to include her own. He had his affair, she had hers, neither one of them was perfect and her constant attempts to convince people otherwise made me dislike her immensely.

 

[Charli.Just]

My son called me, told me that the Princess had been in an accident, then I flipped the t.v. and saw the news for myself. I wasn't a fan, like a die-hard fan, but it hurt terrible inside. It was just last year that I somehow got into her public good works. Maybe it's the longevity of her fame that has something to do with it, or maybe it took me this long to realize something -

we are worse off without her...

 

[Lady Jamie]

Diana showed us that she was human like everyone else. Maybe if she had gotten help, and had better thoughts, what kind of path could she have taken? But we can play the what if games. I admired her ability to work with people in her charities and showed her caring side. I think that is the highlight that everyone remembers that outshines the bad.

 

[Sunpoppy]

Someone in the press told the story of how Diana hid behind a tree to avoid the press but was watching them with a compact mirror. This was before Charles and Diana married. I know someone who would do such a thing—no intellect but great cunning—and I thought Diana was probably of a similar personality. I also then knew that Diana would be extremely high maintenance.

 

[kbear]

I was quite young when they married and I remember my friend collecting pictures from magazines and sending presents for the children etc. I just thought at first she was a little silly and as I got older and observed her my opinion of her got lower and lower. And no you dont want my honest opinion on the woman I respect that many people are fans of this woman and feel quite strongly on the subject. I am not a fan so if you are lets agree to disagree. I did think she dressed well and I appreciate the awareness she brought to the land mines issue/aids and many others. I remember her death and really to be honest I felt sorry for her children as I dont think the mass hysteria was helpful to them at the time nor has it been since.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I was quite young when they married and I remember my friend collecting pictures from magazines and sending presents for the children etc. I just thought at first she was a little silly and as I got older and observed her my opinion of her got lower and lower. And no you dont want my honest opinion on the woman I respect that many people are fans of this woman and feel quite strongly on the subject. I am not a fan so if you are lets agree to disagree. I did think she dressed well and I appreciate the awareness she brought to the land mines issue/aids and many others. I remember her death and really to be honest I felt sorry for her children as I dont think the mass hysteria was helpful to them at the time nor has it been since.

I agree totally - she never impressed me at all and I am not even sure she was a great mother as she seemed to want to be too controlling and was so insecure that she treated her sons more as equals rather than as children. She certainly loved them but I don't think she was a 'great' mum - a good one and a loving one yes but she also had her flaws as a mum. I also have absolutely no time for a woman who publicly trashes the father of her children which she did (or for a man who publicly trashes the mother of his children for that matter). She, and Charles, both used the boys as weapons but when I read that she would take the boys away before Charles could see them (or give them dinner on evenings when Charles was supposed to have dinner with them - thus denying him some of the time he should have had with them) I really came to despise her.

 

[jcbcode99]

Excellent points, completely. Diana is an enigma; on the one hand, she did indeed bring awareness to critical issues such as land mines, but that was later in her life after the divorce and all the drama of her marriage and I think that she beginning to finally find her way in life and create a new identity--which she did need.

However, as for my opinion changing--I found her to be manipulative (throwing herself down the stairs when she was pregnant is a good example), vindictive (pushing her step-mother down the stairs) and dramatic (eyeliner in the Morton interview). She was also deceitful and hypocritical and knew how to use her status/celebrity to her best advantage. I have no doubt it was difficult knowing your husband is in love with someone else--and for that I can forgive some of her irrational behavior, but overall, I thought that from her childhood she had been spoiled, prone to tantrums and manipulation, as well as vindictiveness and mean-spiritedness (flushed her nanny's engagement ring down the toilet). We can blame it on her parents divorce, the situation surrounding her marriage--but in all truth, I blame Diana's behavior on Diana. She willfully made choices in her life--she choose to push people down steps, she choose to say that awful thing to Tiggy, she choose to throw herself down the stairs when seh was pregnant, she choose to have multiple affairs, she choose to help Morton write his book without thinking of the consequences, she choose to bash Charles on public and on national television, she choose to court the paparazzi, and she choose to marry Charles suspecting he loved Camilla--because she wanted to be Queen--she had had a crush on him for years and apparently, the night before her wedding she was riding a tricycle in Clarence House singing "I'm going to be Queen".
And, I haven't hit on the whole way she manipulated and handled the divorce and separation with Charles with regard to the boys. She was selfish, bitter, and spiteful. And, yet, many people completely adore her. Frankly, I don't necessarily get it. She had some wonderful qualities, there is no question, and she made everything seem magical but that's just film and lighting when it comes down to it.
I realize I sound harsh--but she deserves harsh words. I will say this, in the year or so before she died, she seemed to be evolving into someone I would admire. I think it is sad that she lost that opportunity to become more than she had been. The topic of this thread is "When did your opinion of Diana change and why?". As a child, I thought her to be amazing and beautiful. As an adult, I saw her for what she was and stand by my opinion. Now, I see her for what she could have been. It was when she was working for land mine awareness and trying to lead a bit calmer life that I began to come around in my thinking of her and thought that perhaps she was finally finding her niche.

 

[sirhon11234]

And, yet, many people completely adore her. Frankly, I don't necessarily get it.

Because she was human and made bad choices like the rest of us. If the Princess really wanted to be Queen, she would not have pulled the stunts she pulled to endanger her position as Queen in-waiting imo. I also would not treat the story of Diana riding a bike around Clarence House the night before her wedding as 100% fact either.

 

[Iluvbertie]

Because she was human and made bad choices like the rest of us.

But that is what I don't get - they adore her for making mistakes but condemn Charles for being human and making mistakes - sounds like hypocrisy to me.

Making mistakes and being human are NOT qualities that make me adore someone - as everyone makes mistakes and is human.

What did she do that was so extraordinary - she got married - big deal, most people do, she had children, again most people do, she worked, so what most people do, she wore expensive clothes, wouldn't we all if we could afford it - I just don't get what she did that made people adore her - she lied, cheated, manipulated the press but still people adored her, she trashed her husband every chance she got, she tried to destroy an entire family, into which she had married, and still people adore her - really I can't see anything that she did that was worth any form of admiration or adoration at all - rather I remember the lies, the damage she did to her husband and herself, the damage she must have inflicted on her children (and must still be doing due the constant rehashing of her life that they have to put up with), the complete nastiness and selfishness that came into the royal family and the world as people looked up to her.
Give me the 70s and a hard-working, respected royal family anyday to the one she left behind with its spin doctors trying to overcome her damage to this day.

 

[sirhon11234]

But that is what I don't get - they adore her for making mistakes but condemn Charles for being human and making mistakes - sounds like hypocrisy to me.

Not every fan of Diana's thinks that way. I think Charles is very good man and father. He made bad and good choices in his life. But I don't souly judge him and base his character on his faults.

 

[Skydragon]

But that is what I don't get - they adore her for making mistakes but condemn Charles for being human and making mistakes - sounds like hypocrisy to me.

Making mistakes and being human are NOT qualities that make me adore someone - as everyone makes mistakes and is human.

What did she do that was so extraordinary - she got married - big deal, most people do, she had children, again most people do, she worked, so what most people do, she wore expensive clothes, wouldn't we all if we could afford it - I just don't get what she did that made people adore her - she lied, cheated, manipulated the press but still people adored her, she trashed her husband every chance she got, she tried to destroy an entire family, into which she had married, and still people adore her - really I can't see anything that she did that was worth any form of admiration or adoration at all - rather I remember the lies, the damage she did to her husband and herself, the damage she must have inflicted on her children (and must still be doing due the constant rehashing of her life that they have to put up with), the complete nastiness and selfishness that came into the royal family and the world as people looked up to her.
Give me the 70s and a hard-working, respected royal family anyday to the one she left behind with its spin doctors trying to overcome her damage to this day.

I would love to put what a wonderful post, to you and jcbcode99, but as you probably know, I have said I will not post on these threads because it upsets too many people, so my lips are sealed, hands tied, silenced!

 

[chaimae]

I would love to put what a wonderful post, to you and jcbcode99, but as you probably know, I have said I will not post on these threads because it upsets too many people, so my lips are sealed, hands tied, silenced!

me too i cant poste any thing in this thread like you skydragon , and for the same reason! what i can say is that my opinion was the same after and before the divorce and the scandale,im sorry , but i dont like her caractere!

 

[auntie]

My opinion swung from Charles to Diana, and I came to the conclusion that they were both wrong and right, and most important of all, were both human beings. I do think that Charles is probably more distant with his affections, and Diana had a slight boarderline personality disorder which no doubt resulted in her unstable background and caused her the need to be always everybody's favourite. On the other hand they both have/had gr8 sides to their personality.

 

[Mermaid1962]

This is actually one of my favourite stories from the legend of the "Royal Romance."

Someone in the press told the story of how Diana hid behind a tree to avoid the press but was watching them with a compact mirror.

 

[kimebear]

.....(and must still be doing due the constant rehashing of her life that they have to put up with

I think it is a bit of a stretch to blame her for what is being rehashed in her name ten years after her death. She doesn't really have a say in the matter anymore.

 

[rmay286]

I realize I sound harsh--but she deserves harsh words.

Not to comment on your specific post, jcbcode99, but so many people (on both sides of the Diana-debate) seem to continue to think of Diana in the present tense and to insist that her reputation either needs to be defended or dragged down. I suppose her lasting legacy, on both sides of the spectrum, is that people won't let her rest in peace. I could say I have equally little respect and/or interest in Charles, Diana, AND Camilla at the present time, but I doubt that position would be accepted. However, it's true.

 

[Elspeth]

I would love to put what a wonderful post, to you and jcbcode99, but as you probably know, I have said I will not post on these threads because it upsets too many people, so my lips are sealed, hands tied, silenced!

Who said that?

 

[Al_bina]

Not to comment on your specific post, jcbcode99, but so many people (on both sides of the Diana-debate) seem to continue to think of Diana in the present tense and to insist that her reputation either needs to be defended or dragged down. I suppose her lasting legacy, on both sides of the spectrum, is that people won't let her rest in peace. I could say I have equally little respect and/or interest in Charles, Diana, AND Camilla at the present time, but I doubt that position would be accepted. However, it's true.

[my bolding]
I fully share your views. I fail to understand need to bash or defend the memory of the late Diana, Princess of Wales. She made some human mistakes and displayed wrong judgments about certain situations. So did Prince Charles. Each key participant in this never-ending saga deserves little or no respect, when it comes to dealing with deeply personal matters.

 

[COUNTESS]

Al Bina you are quite correct. There is this never ending critique of a dead woman. Yes, like all humans she made mistakes. The living adversaries of this saga made mistakes, too. Some bigger. But today is today and not yesterday. The dead should rest in peace, but not for those with an agenda to try and push the non-existent perfection of other evil doers.

 

[TheTruth]

Since Death is getting terribly noisy, it's time for a warning. We are not here to discuss whether or not we should blame or praise dead people for what they did. Nor are we here to judge people's mistakes in life, no matter if they are dead or alive. It's a little too late to say we can't discuss about someone because she is no longer here to 'defend herself'; we have a whole subforum dedicated to that person and let alone, this 36 page thread.

So can we please stop and go back to the discussion.

TheTruth,
British Forums Moderator.

 

[kbear]

I suppose my opinion of her never did change just got lower but I am an optimist and I hope that had she lived to maturity ( it takes longer for some) she would have been an excellant human being.

 

[jcbcode99]

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that the topic of this particular thread was "When did your opinion of Diana change and why?"--so, allow me to take a moment and dissect that statement for better overall understanding:
"When did your opinon of Diana change?" simple enough, name a time, event, or series of events which changed an opinion regarding the late Princess of Wales.
"And why?" A little more complicated but it asked for an explanation of why your opinion changed.
And yet, when a poster does exactly that, they are lambasted for offering their opinion, which was requested in the first place. The whole topic is somewhat hypocritcal then, is it not?

The fact that this is a thread dedicated to the topic which asks a question is simple enough to understand. If there are members who do not want to "engage" in the discussion then there is no need to visit the thread. Members, not only myself, who do post on the topic, looking for a lively discussion, need not be subjected to constant criticism for offering an opinion on the topic--which is about when opinions changed about Diana. It is not "bashing her memory" because I believe most preface their comments by saying that she did some good work and was a good mom. All I, and other posters, have done was state specific reasons opinions of Diana changed from positive to negative-- per the request of the thread topic. I believe I ended my post by stating that she was begining to mature and redeem herself towards the end of her life. We cannot judge or discuss her based on what she might have done--we can only discuss what we know she actually did.

 

[Elspeth]

Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that the topic of this particular thread was "When did your opinion of Diana change and why?"--so, allow me to take a moment and dissect that statement for better overall understanding:
"When did your opinon of Diana change?" simple enough, name a time, event, or series of events which changed an opinion regarding the late Princess of Wales.
"And why?" A little more complicated but it asked for an explanation of why your opinion changed.
And yet, when a poster does exactly that, they are lambasted for offering their opinion, which was requested in the first place. The whole topic is somewhat hypocritcal then, is it not?

Not unless the person doing the lambasting was the one originally asking the question. Which, so far, it hasn't been. I know there are people who'd prefer that we didn't have this sort of topic under discussion, but as long as the participants are following the forum rules, the moderators don't have a problem with it, as TheTruth has already pointed out.

 

[Skydragon]

Who said that?

I did after I was informed by a moderator, that I was the reason people did not post on any of the threads, backed up a few posts later by none other than yourself!

 

[ysbel]

Some people in the forum are so young, they only became aware of Diana when she died so they have to base their opinion on a dead woman. Also invariably after someone dies, some information comes forth that for whatever reason didn't appear when they were alive and that can change opinions too.

Even with no new information, people are more comfortable speaking critically of the dead because the dead person can no longer be hurt by what is said of them. If we overall like a person, its harder to criticize them when they're alive because its like telling your friend she's fat. But if your friend dies from complications of being overweight, its quite natural to say, gee, I wish she would have taken care of herself and lost weight.

Already we saw some more criticism of the Queen Mother after she died, so no matter how discreet someone is, there are chances that after death, something is going to come out that will surprise some people.

I personally think its more objective to judge a person after they've died because we can see their whole life. I really don't think its fair to judge the younger royals like William and Harry, and especially Beatrice and Eugenie because they have their whole lives ahead of them and its anybody's guess what they will make of it. But that's just my own personal opinion.

However, I think I posted my answer to this question some pages back, my opinion started to change when Diana was still alive and it was when I was in Germany in the mid-Eighties and I started reading some accounts of how she upstaged Charles in certain events. The press then was overly positive about her and about the marriage so I wasn't influenced by what they were saying. It was interesting that my friend read the same articles and came to a totally different conclusion, more in line with the editorial view of the papers.

So people can read the same things and come to totally different conclusions.

 

[Iluvbertie]

I think it is a bit of a stretch to blame her for what is being rehashed in her name ten years after her death. She doesn't really have a say in the matter anymore.

However, had she not done the actions she did that cause people to rehash her life they wouldn't actually have to put up with the rehashing - her actions and behaviour led to the continuing discussions and the contining questioning of their father - so yes she is responsible. Had she not done the things she did then there wouldn't be any rehashing to do so they wouldn't have to hear it from people who never knew her but who have an opinion.

e.g. how many kids would like to know that a forum like this is taking place about their mother? Wouldn't they like to see it go away but they know it won't because of what their mother did? Wouldn't they like to just remember her as they knew her without constantly hearing people say things like those being said here? But why are we discussing it? Because of her actions and words during her lifetime so therefore she is responsible for the things still being said about her and therefore the impact on her sons is still there.

 

[Elspeth]

I don't think it's just that, though. There's certainly some of that going on, but there are too many people who can't resist the temptation to make money from celebrities, particularly dead ones, and who aren't above making stuff up if it helps them push whatever they're selling.

I agree that Diana's actions in using the press were part of what made her so accessible and gave people an excuse to invade her private life both before and after her death, but I think some of what's going on now, where people are coming out of the woodwork to write yet more lurid stuff about her and justify it with "well she asked for it" are behaving in a pretty reprehensible way. Not that it's being helped by all the people queuing up to buy the stuff they write, but that's always the way these things seem to work.

 

[TheTruth]

However, had she not done the actions she did that cause people to rehash her life they wouldn't actually have to put up with the rehashing - her actions and behaviour led to the continuing discussions and the contining questioning of their father - so yes she is responsible. Had she not done the things she did then there wouldn't be any rehashing to do so they wouldn't have to hear it from people who never knew her but who have an opinion.

I disagree. I don't think you can make her responsible for her apparition in the headlines today. If we keep rehashing, as you say, it's not because she's Diana, it's because she's famous. And mind you, most of the news coming up today are mostly gossips and stories to sell papers. For example, the sex claim with Paul Burrell; it'd be wrong to blame her for that when nobody knows if it's true. All you see today when her name appears is because a few are still using her as their cash cow. It will always be the same thing for famous dead people.