What is your opinion about Charles visiting Diana's grave?

[Menarue]

I think visiting graves is pointless. In this case they were divorced, he is married again. Also a fact that I don´t think anyone has mentioned the fact that her grave is on private property. It is a small island on a small lake in the estate of Althorp which belongs to Diana´s brother. I have a feeling that they don´t get on that well so he may be reluctant to ask permission to go on a pointless pilgrimage. I voted I don´t care.

 

[Thomasine]

I am positive

I think it would be nice if Charles accompanied his sons to their mother's grave and should he want to go so alone, he has my full support.

 

[BeatrixFan]

He probably has been alone. It's not a circus attraction, it's a grave. Of course, if you'd rather he did an Evita routine I'll happily teach him something suitably diva-ish.

 

[Moonmaiden23]

Diana was his wife for many years. She is the mother of his children. Charles should have the right to pay his respects at her grave whenever he wishes, and he should have complete privacy.

 

[iowabelle]

I voted "don't care." I think it's up to him, and if he goes it should be a meaningful gesture for him and their children. But I think there are many ways for him to honor her memory if he chooses.

And if he were to go, I would rather the visit be kept private, with no photographers.

 

[Keenie]

I voted he should visit her grave. It is out of respect for the Mother of his sons and also it would allow him time to contemplate and meditate. I believe Diana's demise left him more devastated than we think. IMO of course

 

[baguetteprincess]

I voted I do not care if he visits or not. As Diana is buried on Althorp, which is Spencer ground, I would venture to say it would be quite awkward. But, it is really for him to decide to do so or not.

 

[scooter]

When the children we're young, I'm sure if they wanted to go on her birthday or Mother's Day, he would have/did take them. Now that they are adults and can go on their own, I dont see any reason for Charles to go.

I found this over the weekend in Christopher Anderson's book 'After Diana' page 239-40 quoting Earl Spencer in 2002:"Spencer, who had encountered Charles only once - and then purely by happenstance at a charity event - also criticized Charles for having never visited Diana's grave "not a single time" the Princess' brother said, "in five years". Nor incidentally, had the Queen been to Althorpe. But each year on Diana's birthday, the boys did make the journey to the Spencer estate, rowing out to the tiny, 75 foot by 180 foot island on which she is buried to place flowers on her grave"

Then on page 459: "Yet the confounding truth remained after a full decade, neither the Queen nor Prince charles had visited Diana's lonely grave on the tiny island at Althorpe."
While I cant imagine why QE would go, I think it's very sad that William and Harry did not have the comfort and support of their father in what must have been such sad days.

 

[Skydragon]

I found this over the weekend in Christopher Anderson's book '.

Was he the author that everyone seemed to question the accuracy of his books? This is a genuine question not a 'put down', I just have a vague recollection that his facts and quotes were questioned.

 

[Menarue]

A brother-in-law of mine used to visit his wife´s grave every year with the wife he married 6 months after she died. They would both stand there crying their eyes out (she had never even met my sister-in-law) pure hypocrisy.
I think if the princes asked their father to take them to see the grave he wouldn´t hesitate, you can see the love he has for his sons.
The princess´s brother seems to find any excuse he can to criticize any member of the royal family he can. In the meantime he was charging money for visitors to go a gawp across the water at the little island...

 

[Jo of Palatine]

Then on page 459: "Yet the confounding truth remained after a full decade, neither the Queen nor Prince charles had visited Diana's lonely grave on the tiny island at Althorpe."

Spencer should have let them bury Diana at Frogmore like it was offered and she wouldn't be so "lonely" but surrounded by her sons' family and within easy reach for her sons who went to Eton and have later served at Windsor.

 

[sthreats]

My reply to the poll is that "I don't care" . I really appreciate the poem posted by Skydragon. It really helped me yesterday. My sister died 6 years ago at age 32. My mother and younger sister visit her grave every Memorial Day. I don't go. I always get the sense that my sister is upset. They wanted to take my children (12, 9). My children have happy memories of my sister and the week that she died-we talk about her daily and light a candle for all of our deceased relatives on Sundays. Their grandfather just died. I just did not see the point of having them stand in the rain at a gravesite watching their grandmother cry.
I think grieving is very personal and none of us should judge how another person does it--are they really 'sincere'.

 

[scooter]

Was he the author that everyone seemed to question the accuracy of his books? This is a genuine question not a 'put down', I just have a vague recollection that his facts and quotes were questioned.

Not as I recall. In the acknowledgments, the author claims to have been consulted in 2005 by Scotland Yard to assist Operation Paget, the official investigation into the death of Diana et al.

 

[Mermaid1962]

My mother-in-law and my father died 23 days apart, and my mother and father-in-law have handled their grief in different ways. My mother stayed home and sort of nested until she felt strong enough to get involved with things again, whereas my father-in-law kept up his involvement in different organizations. My mother is much more self-conscious about grieving and harder to comfort, whereas my father-in-law wept openly and was always receptive to hugs and comforting words. Still, they both handled and are handling their grief well and are coming to terms with their loss in a healthy way. No one can judge another's grieving, I agree.

I think grieving is very personal and none of us should judge how another person does it--are they really 'sincere'.

 

[georgiea]

I have a question.

Does anyone know if Prince Charles visits his late uncle's grave or late grandmother's grave? That might answer if he would visit Diana, Princess of Wales' grave. It would show that he remembers loved ones by visiting their graves.

 

[tan_berry]

I do not think would be good for Charles, because it could be seen as if he were trying to gain something from it. For example, sympathy. They had a bitter divorce and he is married to the woman Diana thought was the cause of the divorce. But if his sons want him to accompany them, that would be another story, going with them and privately. No publicity at all.

 

[scooter]

Also, I would like to point out that Earl Spencer was in a position to know exactly when/if his nephews and ex BIL were coming to Althorp, because of the security issues. As Earl Spencer has been directly quoted and has not refuted the quote, I can only take his remembrances to be acurately attributed.

 

[Skydragon]

Not everyone feels a need to visit a grave site, it doesn't mean that they are not grieving or that they feel the pain any more or less than those that do.

 

[Odette]

I doubt P Charles ever visited the grave after the funeral. I admired him for going off to Paris to escort Diana's body back to London and standing by his sons. However after that Spencer brow beating during the ceremony, I doubt these two Charles have any desire to communicate or accomodate each other.

 

[White Princess]

Obviously!!! She was the mother of his sons, his late wife!! He MUST pay tribute for her.

 

[jcbcode99]

Obviously!!! She was the mother of his sons, his late wife!! He MUST pay tribute for her.

No, he mustn't. He paid tribute to her by flying Paris to bring her back to England. He paid tribute by walking behind her coffin with their children. He paid tribute by attending the funeral. He paid tribute when he became upset that she was missing an earring. He pays tribute to her everytime he spends time with his children. Yes, she was the mother of their children and I do think that he respected her position and I think he did love her--he certainly did grieve for her. After Earl Spencer's harsh and critical words towards the Spencers I have little doubt that The Prince of Wales is not about to drive out to the grave to visit Diana--and I think that it is somewhat morbid if he does. The best way to pay tribute to someone is to celebrate their life, which is what he does through their children.
I think the reason this thread was even begun was because among some there continues to be a glimmer of hope that Charles loved Diana desperately and regrets their divorce and all the acrimony and wished he had remained with her. That is not the case. I'm sure he wished they could have split more amiably, but towards the end of her life they had established a friendship and were able to get along with each other--but I fear some romantics want to believe that Charles goes out to the island regularly and sits and talks with Diana about the boys. I don't quite see it happening.

 

[scooter]

I would hope that if the sons wanted their father to go with them (on her birthday for example) that he would go. However, I recently read a quote from Earl Spencer saying that Charles had never been to the grave. Also, I've always harbored a suspicion (no proof...just a feeling) that she's not really in the oval, perhaps instead quietly burried with the ancestors down in the church.

 

[chaimae]

nice answer janet , well done
i don't no what poeple waiting from charle to paid tribute for diana !!!!
he paid a lot of tribute for her since 10 years , the princess is dead know !
and don't know when poeple stop to talking about the old problemes with the late diana and the prince !

 

[White Princess]

I agree with you with saying that he pays tribute for her when he stays with theirs sons. And I really wanted to people stop talking about theirs problems, but I think the visiting of the grave would be a exemple that he didn't forget her. That's what I guess.

 

[Roslyn]

I've always thought visiting graves to be morbid and pointless, and I think it is an odd thing to do. I believe that people live on in their friends' and loved ones' hearts and memories, not in the immediate vicinity of the box where their mortal remains are buried. You certainly don't have to visit the place those remains are buried to remember the person who once occupied that body. I know some people believe it is a good thing to do though, and important. I don't criticise anyone for that; if it feels right for them, it's the right thing to do. I'm just providing the point of view of someone who doesn't see any need whatsoever for Charles to ever have visited Diana's grave.

Charles can't possibly forget Diana; for one thing the press won't let him. For another, he has their two sons as a constant reminder. But apart from that she was a part of his life for more than 15 years. He lived with her and worked with her, and had children with her, and there will be numerous things in his life that will remind him of Diana.

I'm sure he has many happy memories of Diana, and that it is likely those are the ones he recalls. I doubt he wants to be reminded of the tragic events that preceded her burial - the phone call in the night, dellivering the heartbreaking news to their sons, the flight to Paris, seeing her dead body lying in the hospital, searching for her earring, taking her home, dealing with their sons' grief, the lead-up to the funeral, the funeral itself, her brother's speech at the funeral, the public's applause, taking her to her burial place, placing her in the ground, and leaving her there.

And even if he did want to visit her grave, Diana is buried on "hostile" ground. If he goes, his presence will be noticed and commented upon in the press. No, it's best he stays away and remembers her in his own way.

 

[scooter]

I personally dont ever go to the cemetary, so I could understand how none of them might be going there often, if at all.

 

[Mermaid1962]

I agree completely. Everyone mourns in his own way.

And even if he did want to visit her grave, Diana is buried on "hostile" ground. If he goes, his presence will be noticed and commented upon in the press. No, it's best he stays away and remembers her in his own way.

 

[Maricar]

I think in certain circumstances (death anniversary, is one), it would be appropriate for Prince Charles to visit Diana's grave. Otherwise, on ordinary days, there would be no point for him to sneak away to it.

 

[Mermaid1962]

I've noticed in my contact with American friends that there's more emphasis on visiting graves in the US than there is up here. One of those subtle cultural differences between people who are very much alike in many ways.

I think in certain circumstances (death anniversary, is one), it would be appropriate for Prince Charles to visit Diana's grave. Otherwise, on ordinary days, there would be no point for him to sneak away to it.

 

[Maricar]

True, that.