Social Norms: Diana and Staff - Page 6

CyrilVladisla · #**101** 01-07-2015, 04:03 PM

In Diana, Sarah Bradford wrote:
Most of the staff believed that Diana did 'winkle' Stephen Barry out of his position: 'he was keeping the Prince way back in the Dark Ages,' said one, 'she wanted to drift him into the present.'

Mermaid1962 · #**102** 01-07-2015, 06:13 PM

Sometimes I've wondered whether Diana had something like Attention Deficit Disorder. She was known for being very energetic and picking up on things quickly, yet she didn't do well in school. She seemed to need a lot of stimulation, always calling her friends on the phone, shopping, etc. I think that London probably gave her the variety of things she needed to keep herself from being bored. Spending a weekend or a short vacation in the country might have been okay; but to a person who needed to keep stimulated and lots of things to keep her attention, it might have been very challenging indeed. From what I understand, holidays with the Royal Family mean doing the same things at the same time, day in, day out. It would be a hyperactive person's nightmare.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duc_et_Pair

It is indeed remarkable that a lady, used to ancestral estates and countryside, seems so bored as hell in venues as Balmoral. No wonder the princely couple grew totally apart, knowing Charles' profound love for the counrtyside, the nature and tranquil...

MARG · #**103** 01-07-2015, 07:40 PM

Diana was no stranger to the "Shooting, hunting, fishing" life in the country, it's just that contrary to those bucolic photos of she and Charles smiling and relaxed in the country prior to the wedding, she loathed it but she didn't mind pretending. It is a mark of her familiarity with that lifestyle that she fooled everybody because she was on familiar turf.

It wasn't until after the marriage where she showed what she really liked, namely London with all it's glitz and glamour, clothes and jewels and sailing around the Med with like minded people soaking up the sun sea and sand. A pretty far cry from the peace and tranquility of Sandringham and Balmoral.

Mermaid1962 · #**104** 01-07-2015, 08:07 PM

Oh yes, I agree; which is why I think that she could spend short periods of time in the country but yearned for the city once she was expected to spend a lot of time there. She was "used to it" but didn't like it.

roseroyal · #**105** 01-08-2015, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid1962

Sometimes I've wondered whether Diana had something like Attention Deficit Disorder. She was known for being very energetic and picking up on things quickly, yet she didn't do well in school. She seemed to need a lot of stimulation, always calling her friends on the phone, shopping, etc. I think that London probably gave her the variety of things she needed to keep herself from being bored. Spending a weekend or a short vacation in the country might have been okay; but to a person who needed to keep stimulated and lots of things to keep her attention, it might have been very challenging indeed. From what I understand, holidays with the Royal Family mean doing the same things at the same time, day in, day out. It would be a hyperactive person's nightmare.

Interesting- you may be right, but I have heard, and seen in photos, one of Diana's great gifts was to totally focus her attention on the person she was speaking with. Could she do that with ADD? But then, as you mention, some signs were there. Complicated psyche.

Mermaid1962 · #**106** 01-08-2015, 05:05 PM

I wonder, roseroyal, whether a person's motivation in something can affect her ability to concentrate? I'm over 50 now, and I find it harder to concentrate on things than I could even 10 years ago. But if something fascinates me, or if I really want to listen to what someone has to say, I can focus. It's harder work than it was, but I can do it if my motivation is high enough.

roseroyal · #**107** 01-08-2015, 06:23 PM

Did you mean me- roseroyal? If so, I think you may be right. May be. Still not 100% sure either way. But then we'll never know. Of anything besides some sort of mental illness and bulimia. Behavioral disorder like ADD- like I said, just don't know. And doesn't really matter- does not change my opinion of Diana. Was just giving my 2 cents...

Dman · #**108** 01-08-2015, 07:47 PM

I'm not sure Diana had any behavioral disorders or any mental issues. I think she was just a young woman trying to find her way and what she wanted.

US Royal Watcher · #**109** 01-08-2015, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dman

I'm not sure Diana had any behavioral disorders or any mental issues. I think she was just a young woman trying to find her way and what she wanted.

So you are saying Diana was lying when she admitted that she suffered from an eating disorder and depression?

Honeybees · #**110** 01-16-2016, 04:38 AM

Prince Harry is openly Dyslexic. There is a strong hereditary link with that SpLD's I believe. The Late Princess of Wales had, as we all do, her strengths and weaknesses. We are all only human.

Duc_et_Pair · #**111** 01-16-2016, 04:51 AM

I thought this thread was about the social norms (or the lack of it?) between the late Diana and her staff?

Denville · #**112** 05-15-2016, 07:34 AM

I think that Di was used to a more informal household where she did as a child spend time in the kitchen chatting with her family's servants.. and she was lonely soon after her marriage so she went in search of company. But if she did it a lot, it probaby DID upset the staff, making ti hard for them to get on with their work or watching what they said.. so the butler I think is said to have told her that she should not be there. And later on I think she veered between being too friendly with the servants and then getting angry or haughty if she felt that they were taking advantage of her friendliness.

nascarlucy · #**113** 05-15-2016, 09:21 AM

Agreed Denville.

Osipi · #**114** 05-15-2016, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denville

I think that Di was used to a more informal household where she did as a child spend time in the kitchen chatting with her family's servants.. and she was lonely soon after her marriage so she went in search of company. But if she did it a lot, it probaby DID upset the staff, making ti hard for them to get on with their work or watching what they said.. so the butler I think is said to have told her that she should not be there. And later on I think she veered between being too friendly with the servants and then getting angry or haughty if she felt that they were taking advantage of her friendliness.

One thing that has hit me time and time again in reading many sources about Diana's relationships with those around her is that in just about all of them, its been stated that one habit Diana had that never left her was her inbred compulsion to always say "thank you". Whether its the cook, the gardener or someone that showed kindness to her, she always was writing thank you notes. Very admirable quality.

Duc_et_Pair · #**115** 05-15-2016, 05:54 PM

I believe most royals do so. The Queen, the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall. Keeping a professional distance but at the same time showing kindness. Sending get-well-soon cards. A gift for a jubilee. A thank you-note when an event, a grand reception or so was very well organized, sending compliments to the chef downstairs in the kitchen, etc. It is also expected, to be a gracious when needed.

Denville · #**116** 05-15-2016, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osipi

One thing that has hit me time and time again in been stated that one habit Diana had that never left her was her inbred compulsion to always say "thank you". Whether its the cook, the gardener or someone that showed kindness to her, she always was writing thank you notes. Very admirable quality.

True but she also got into rages/fights with some of her staff.. like the maid who was entertaining a boyfriend, or the many staff who ended up leaving, or the secretary whom she invited on holiday and then told her she had to pay her share of the bill... that's one of the things I find very unpleasant about her. I don't know what she was thinking in that situation.. why invite the girl and then ask her to pay? She msut have known that she couldn't afford it...

Mermaid1962 · #**117** 05-15-2016, 07:42 PM

Diana's behaviour was paradoxical at times.

Denville · #**118** 05-16-2016, 12:22 AM

I really can't understand that episode with Victoria Mendham. I can forgiv other things she did, that were wrong, like slapping her father, because I can understand the emotions involved. but that asking the lady to go on holiday with her and then sticking her with the bill, TWICE, seems horribly unkind. I think that Victoria should perhaps not have accepted without making it clear that it was an invite where she was paid for, if she coud not afford the costs of such a holiday.. but surely the second time, she assumed that Di knew she could not afford to pay and was inviting her free...

Denville · #**119** 05-21-2016, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid1962

Sometimes I've wondered whether Diana had something like Attention Deficit Disorder. She was known for being very energetic and picking up on things quickly, yet she didn't do well in school. She seemed to need a lot of stimulation, always calling her friends on the phone, shopping, etc. IIt would be a hyperactive person's nightmare.

I think it was simple depression. She needed stimulation because she was easily depressed and low, so she liked to read certain things and loved the TV. and the phone. I think she didn't do well at school because she couldn't choose what she wanted to study! I remember beng told off by parents when I was a kid because I said "I liked such and such subject and so I did well in it"... but they pointed out that in life you have to do a lot of things you don't want to do...

Denville · #**120** 05-28-2016, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyrilVladisla

In Diana, Sarah Bradford wrote:

Diana was no fool where domestic staff were concerned and Stephen Barry himself recognized that his happy years of getting away with everything with the indulgence of the Prince of Wales would soon be over. He jumped before he was pushed.

Possibly true but also I think she was a bit jealous of people in the staff who had been very close to Charles, such as his valet. And Barry was jealous of her coiming in and being invovled closely with his special royal...