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07-12-2011, 02:10 AM
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Harry Vs. William- Dealing with Grief
I was thinking about this 2night-
It seems to me that it took Harry longer to move forward- I won't ever use the term get over because you never do- from the trauma of his mother's death, than William did.
It only makes sense, because Harry was the youngest child.
William certainly had a heavy burden of grief, but once he went down the path of using his life, and his sorrow, to help others, he kept steadily moving forward.
Harry seemed stuck, weighed down by his sorrow. He seemed angry.
I believe this expressed itself in some very poor choices.
But now, it is wonderful to see him discover things that he is passionate about and make steps forward while helping others. It is wonderful to see, and I admire him more and more.
What do you think?
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07-12-2011, 10:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by royal_sophietje
Dear MaryShawn
Diana is buried with the Mother Teresa rosary and her weddingband. Paul Burrell placed it in her hands when he prepared her for the coffin.
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Why should she be buried with her weddingring? She was divorced.
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07-12-2011, 12:00 PM
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Serene Highness
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Her wedding band?? She was divorced.
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07-12-2011, 12:05 PM
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Is Paul Burrell a mortician? If not, I doubt he "prepared her for the coffin." He may have chosen the dress, but he had no business with her personal effects, as all her effects belong to the boys.
Is there another source where this is confirmed?
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07-12-2011, 03:00 PM
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Please note that Helina's initial post was in regards to a that made several years ago when the thread first opened. I believe some of the questions have since been answered.
I don't believe the initial poster even posts here anymore.
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07-12-2011, 03:10 PM
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Majesty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseroyal
I was thinking about this 2night- It seems to me that it took Harry longer to move forward...than William did.
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You're absolutely correct. William was able to move forward because he discovered that he can use his experience to help others. To me, that is the best kind of therapy and self-confidence/worth booster. I also think that both young men may have grieved differently. Harry tried to get rid of his feelings with a rebellious streak, while William just wanted to see what he can do with the feelings he had. I think with age Harry has come to the same conclusion as William, and he is now using his experience as strength rather than a reason to rebel and get angry. I see both of them as good people, but as we know, everyone handles and experiences even the same things in a different fashion. These two are a prime example.
And I hope I made some sense here. Your post was great, so I hope I didn't butcher. Perhaps I should have gone with 'less is more' route and just expressed agreement, but I may be feeling a bit on the verbose side today.
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"My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring".
~Prince William~
I'm not obsessed with royalty...I just think intensely about it.
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07-12-2011, 03:35 PM
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You make lots of sense Daria, and made me think in a new way. I took Harry's rebellion as his way of expressing emotion or trying to at least. Now, I realize his attitude may have been. " To feel this way, is too hard." I don't want to deal with this." I am going to try and get rid of my emotions so I do not have to" Where William's attitude was " Life handed me a big lemon, better make a big pitcher of lemonade" And the only way to do that for William was to help others.
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07-12-2011, 03:45 PM
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Majesty
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Phew! I was a little worried there. Always good to be understood.
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"My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring".
~Prince William~
I'm not obsessed with royalty...I just think intensely about it.
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07-12-2011, 08:30 PM
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Oh, I hear you loud and clear! I don't ever think Harry really expressed emotion. He tried to- big difference.
But the feelings were too overwhelming, hence trying to rid himself of them, and you know the rest.
Can I just add that although I am no big fan of the POW by any means* or rather I should say that I am no fan of some of his choices in life, ( have never met the man, so cannot say whether I like him or not.)I do admire how he stepped up as a loving father to those boys right after and since their mother's death!
* Having said that, let me please say that I wish the POW nothing but happiness. I respect his role in the monarchy. I am just not a huge fan.
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07-12-2011, 08:40 PM
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Harry's card to " Mummy" on the coffin.
That was/ is the most gut- wrenching/ heartbreaking symbol of Di's funeral to me....
I do not wish to be intrusive , and feel very much so, but.....
I cannot help but wonder what Harry wrote in that card on his mother's coffin. I just cannot imagine what he would say in that senairo. It is because I cannot imagine walking in his shoes!
Quite rightly the only people who know that message are Harry and Diana
And it should always be kept that way!
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07-12-2011, 10:06 PM
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Majesty
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Rose, you're absolutely correct. Harry was most likely very overwhelmed by his emotions at the time, and really had no idea how to deal with them. I think his age had a great deal to do with that. He was only twelve, and that age can be confusing at best. A person is changing from a child to a teen, and attempting to figure out who he/she is. Now, when you add a death of a beloved parent to the mix, you have a very ugly situation on your hands. Harry was most likely in a deep sea of a lot of emotions; loss, grief, anger, confusion, just to name a few. Add to that all the other changes one goes through in teen years, and an explosion is almost inevitable.
In terms of the Prince of Wales, I think he has done a wonderful job as a parent, especially after Diana's death. He tried to the best of his ability to give his sons the support that they needed. I can't even imagine being in that situation.
'Mummy' written in Harry's handwriting was a very poignant tribute from a grief-stricken child to a beloved parent. The parent who symbolized comfort, love and safety, which I think is another factor in Harry's outbursts (or at least I'm taking a guess). He didn't know where to turn to find those emotions again.
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"My guiding principles in life are to be honest, genuine, thoughtful and caring".
~Prince William~
I'm not obsessed with royalty...I just think intensely about it.
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07-19-2011, 10:15 PM
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I've always wondered if Charles was involved in the music selections for the funeral. Some of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard was sung that day.
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07-19-2011, 11:59 PM
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That wouldn't surprise me at all. The Prince of Wales has exquisite taste in music.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sirhon11234
I've always wondered if Charles was involved in the music selections for the funeral. Some of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard was sung that day.
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07-20-2011, 04:08 AM
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Nobility
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Me neither. I was actually very surprised to how caring PC treated his former wife. He earned my respect. It just shows that not everything published during "War of the Waleses" is to be believed.
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07-20-2011, 06:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roseroyal
That was/ is the most gut- wrenching/ heartbreaking symbol of Di's funeral to me....
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YES! I was crying during al the ceremony, but when this card "mummy" appeared it was heartbreaking.
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07-20-2011, 06:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olebabs
Me neither. I was actually very surprised to how caring PC treated his former wife. He earned my respect. It just shows that not everything published during "War of the Waleses" is to be believed.
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I do not want to be ironic, but I would prefer him to be caring with her DURING their wedding!
At the end it was tooo easy. After-all she was his sons' mother!!!
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07-20-2011, 07:20 AM
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Yes, of course. But he had no need to go there himself and escort her home. But I agree; too little too late
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07-20-2011, 08:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olebabs
Yes, of course. But he had no need to go there himself and escort her home. But I agree; too little too late
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Right. But despite all the story, and the mistakes Prince of Wales did during his marriage, he is not a bad person. He should have felt very sad.
I saw the film "The Queen" and I'd rather believe their description of characters and reactions. Among all the RF, Prince Charles was the most human.
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07-20-2011, 02:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sirhon11234
I've always wondered if Charles was involved in the music selections for the funeral. Some of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard was sung that day.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olebabs
Me neither. I was actually very surprised to how caring PC treated his former wife. He earned my respect. It just shows that not everything published during "War of the Waleses" is to be believed.
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I agree, Sirhon! The singing that day was wonderful, and I would not be surprised if the POW helped select it. I have read in various books, including The Day Diana Died that the main planner behind the funeral was William.
Olebabs- I was surprised too, in a way, but also not. I believe that Charles loved Diana as the mother of his children. And numerous people have said that after the divorce they were good friends.And I believe Diana always had a place in her heart for Charles.
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07-20-2011, 04:15 PM
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@ roseroyal: I think you are right. One always has a place in the heart for the father/mother of your children. But my surprise was more in the fact that he showed som determination. Such a shame they didn't have time to develope that friendship further.
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