One thing to remember too is that at the time of her death,
Diana had only been legally divorced from Charles for a year. That's a relatively short time in which she, according to you, would move on and get a grip on her emotions.
The cold, hard reality of a divorce takes time to sink in after the final decree. Up until then, there is always the odd chance that things will work out and the divorce canceled and its like being in limbo. Not really married yet not really single either.
One thing I have read many places is that by the time of Diana's death though, Diana and Charles were able to have a somewhat amicable relationship with each other and they were both moving forward in their lives.
By the time Diana passed she was not a 19 year old virgin anymore, she was THIRTY SIX YEARS OLD.
Adolescents comes to an end at 25 yrs. Women begin to mature at 25yrs. At 28 yrs a woman has to be in a position to bring her A game. Life is unkind, you snooze, you loose. I will grant Diana a 4 year extension. When I look at her life, I expected her to have figured things out by the time she was 32 years old, this is circa 1992!
Truth is, Diana was spoilt. She once slapped her father- when she was 16 yrs, he re-married and the kids were up in arms and she flounced into the drawing room or dining room and slapped him.
There are many women out there who have been treated badly by their spouses, some of them do not have a fraction of the priviledges Diana possessed. It is my opinion that by 1992 at the age of 31 ish, the focus should not have been on her, it should have been on the well being of her children. When she married into that family she did little to undestand the significance of the union. Even her grandmother warned about the Royal Family. She knew about Charles and Camilla but she thought she would triumph.
When she got engaged, she was given books on the Royal Family, on her predecessors (previous Princess' of Wales) but she didn't want to know. She would pop downstairs for hours on end to have a chat with servants. Some were uncomfortable, one even bluntly told her, she should be upstairs learning her craft'.
Unfortunately things fell apart. I agree Charles behaved badly but Diana had a responsibility to herself, her children and their legacy. She made everything about Charles to the point where she forgot to see the bigger picture. People tried to pull her back, her friends and family tried to advise but there was no telling her. At this point one realises that she was damaged way before Charles came on the scene- her parents marriage and subsequent divorce had left some deep scars. Charles exacerbated them.
The schism grew in 1984. She had 12 years to figure things out. She had ample time to wild out and then begin to make peace with her situation. It takes 7 years to get over somebody.. She should have been over Charles by the 7th year! Despite the affairs (hers) she was still allowing him to affect her. She just kept on careering from one crisis to another. She had numerous affairs, she secretly briefed the media, She 'wrote' the book, she confronted Camilla. People told her to chill but she didn't want to know. She fell out with her mates, fell out with her family- at the time of her death she was not on speaking terms with anyone of her immediate family members! The few genuine friends she had were shocked at the way she was carrying on, anyone who tried to raise their concerns was ostracised. There was no telling her.
She should never have done that Panorama interview in 1995. That was the stroke that broke the camel's hump. One may argue that she was driven to it but what about her children? Their heritage? Her Legacy? It had been 10 years since they had been together, 14 years since they married. By 1995 she should have
been working on her healing
been loving herself
accepted that Charles would never love her
recognised she had immense priviledge and children who loved her
taken stock of her gifts and worked towards harnessing them
Instead she continued waging this war of attrition. The Republicans rejoiced at the interview but thing is, she was not trying to be revolutionary, she didn't call for the end of the monarchy, she just said she would much prefer that the crown bypass Charles for William. How do you think that made William feel?
Goodness knows who Dodi was to her. Was he 'The One'? Was he a stooge? And then of course there was her latest pet project- the landmines- very controversial. She was warned.
I sympathise with her, however as an adult who has faced her share of challenges I think Diana became self indulgent. Had she played her cards differently she would have still managed to have a very fulfilling life