Diana's Relationships with The Queen and Other Members of the Royal Family

[gfg02]

Diana, Princess Of Wales and The Honourable Angus Ogilvy
Diana, Princess Of Wales, Kissing The Honourable Angus Ogilvy As They Arrive For Their Visit To The Imperial Cancer Research Fund At Lincoln Inn Fields.
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http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m81rvhDN4v1r5ljkwo2_400.jpg

 

[Esclarmonde]

No. HRH Princess Margaret disliked her and told many stories against her. Princess Margaret was in a unique position to witness the comings and goings of the Princess of Wales and her many male friends.

 

[Aliza]

No. HRH Princess Margaret disliked her and told many stories against her. Princess Margaret was in a unique position to witness the comings and goings of the Princess of Wales and her many male friends.

That state of affairs between Princess Margaret and Diana did not start until the Panorama interview. On the tapes for "Diana, Her True Story", Diana can be heard telling Colthurst (for Morton) that, "I just adore Margo; she's been wonderful to me since day one". And PM also told Charles after the 1992 legal separation that she was going to continue being friends with Diana despite the state of affairs between the PoW and his wife.

The Panorama interview hugely enraged PM mainly for the questioning of Charles' fitness to be king, as well as the implied criticism of the Queen, to whom PM was always loyal, even when the relationship between the sisters was at its various low points.

I've always been curious as to why PM chose to burn most of the correspondence between Diana and the Queen Mother. That is a major loss to history and it must have been intense reading for Margaret to go to those lengths to destroy it.

Your description is 100% correct of their post-Panorama relationship. It's ironic, as it was Margaret herself who showed Diana how to avoid the CC cameras by using her courtyard for guests she wanted to keep private and invited her to use it whenever Diana wished. (My guess is she was sympathetic because of her own experience pre-divorce with Lord Snowdon.) Margaret didn't even soften at Diana's death and was heard complaining about the "rotting smell" of the field of flowers left in front of KP and she did not follow the Queen's lead and bow to Diana's coffin. She encouraged HM to remain at Balmoral that week, refuse to lower the flag, etc - and was even heard complaining about having to return from her vacation in Italy upon news of Diana's death. In her book, Diana was no longer royal and her death should not have interfered with her time in the sunshine!

 

[MARG]

I've always been curious as to why PM chose to burn most of the correspondence between Diana and the Queen Mother. That is a major loss to history and it must have been intense reading for Margaret to go to those lengths to destroy it.

I've heard this several times but does anyone have a reputable souce to back it up?

. . . . . . Margaret didn't even soften at Diana's death and was heard complaining about the "rotting smell" of the field of flowers left in front of KP and she did not follow the Queen's lead and bow to Diana's coffin. She encouraged HM to remain at Balmoral that week, refuse to lower the flag, etc - and was even heard complaining about having to return from her vacation in Italy upon news of Diana's death. In her book, Diana was no longer royal and her death should not have interfered with her time in the sunshine!

Same again. Curious to know the souce and veracity of these statements as, if they are true, they speak to a whole different reasone for the Queen staying at Balmoral than we were led to believe.

 

[Isabella]

I've heard this several times but does anyone have a reputable souce to back it up?

Yes, it is mentioned in the official biography of the Queen Mother, by William Shawcross.

 

[Aliza]

I've heard this several times but does anyone have a reputable souce to back it up?

Same again. Curious to know the souce and veracity of these statements as, if they are true, they speak to a whole different reasone for the Queen staying at Balmoral than we were led to believe.

As Isabella wrote, Shawcross is indeed my source for your first question. As to the second, I attended a lecture by Paul Burrell where he spoke of the work of the committee for the official memorial for Diana and PM's reactions came up both during the lecture and in the questioning period afterwards. I have also read about it elsewhere, around the time of Diana's death and into 1998, but I don't remember which books or biographies. I will look for one of the written sources and post it on your profile page when I find it.

I don't know if PM had very much influence on the Queen's actions that terrible week at Balmoral; I'm sorry if my post seemed to imply as such. I was just trying to relate PM's feelings for Diana and how they stayed hardened even after her death as demonstrated by her words and actions. English is not my first language, so I was probably confusing.

 

[US Royal Watcher]

I find it hard to believe that Princess Margaret hated her so much that she would have reacted that coldly to her death.

I don't think Paul Burrell is a reliable source, especially regarding the reaction of the royal family to Diana's death. He certainly wasn't at Balmoral during that week. Although he may have retained some friends among the staff, I can't believe he was trusted by those who would have been in the best position to know what was going on.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

If Margaret did encourage her sister to stay at Balmoral and now lower the flag I believe it had more to do with precedent and duty rather than a personal dislike of Diana. I believe many senior royals, her husband and mother, were also advising the same thing not for personal reasons but practical ones.

 

[Madame Royale]

As much as I liked 'Margot' for her beauty and stateliness, I would not have put it passed her to be so unaffected by the death of Diana. Margaret was known to have a razor tongue at the best of times and largely considered to be more royal, 'aka' pretentious', than the Queen in manner. From what I can gather, she could be extremely cold when she wanted to be and was known to be quite the unforgiving individual.

And as much as I am no fan of the man, I don't think anyone here is in a position to discredit Paul Burrell just because they don't want to believe what he's had to say or because they don't like him. Fact of the matter is, Paul was the eyes and ears for many years and had his finger on the 'pulse'. To what degree, I can not say, but to discredit him entirely would seem particularly irrational.

 

[XeniaCasaraghi]

I don't have a hard time believing Margaret didn't get the fuss about Diana being dead. By 1997, Diana seems to have burned any bridges she had with her, and I really can picture her reaction to the news of her death as not caring.

 

[sirhon11234]

I never particularly cared for Margret. Seemed so off putting to me. Anyway I wouldn't have been surprised if she really reacted that way.
She never really striked me as being happy in her own personal life. Really sad.

 

[Aliza]

I never particularly cared for Margret. Seemed so off putting to me. Anyway I wouldn't have been surprised if she really reacted that way.
She never really striked me as being happy in her own personal life. Really sad.

I agree with you, Sirhon. I too, think PM was very unhappy in her personal life; I think it's a shame she didn't marry Peter Townsend, and the situations with Townsend and then her own marriage with Snowdon are why, IMHO, she had so much sympathy for Diana prior to the Panorama interview.

 

[gfg02]

Some photos of Diana and the Kents
The Royal Kents

 

[Dman]

Royal biographer mourns the destroyed Diana letters:
Royal biographer mourns the destroyed Diana letters  - Princess Diana Remembered

I just find that rather sad.

 

[vkrish]

Let it be..

Otherwise it would have led to a whole new drama again, and tabloids having a field day with all their half-baked theories..
The purpose of past is to learn from it. And BRF, and in turn all other RFs, learnt a lot of things, and adapted themselves, from this entire saga. So its just better to move on with her pleasant memory, than revisit it again and again, just for something juicy..

 

[Dman]

I had just posted that article because I had never heard that story before, not to stir up anything.

 

[vkrish]

Oh Dman..it wasnt bout u..I was just talkin bout tabloids..Imagine what big deal they make if the letters were found..They dont even care Diana's sons will be the ones worst affected by all this..

 

[Dman]

Oh okay. Well that's an interesting way of looking at it too. Although I'm sure not all their correspondents were harsh but loving and sincere.

So much of Diana's relationship with the royal family have been the fodder for the tabloids and some stuff were just made up and tarnished. I think it would've been great to at least have some sort of insight of the real relationship between Diana and the royals. There are some things out there but I think destroying her latters was a careless act.

 

[vkrish]

Ha ha..

Whom do you consider a "responsible"/"careful" person..not to perform such "careless" acts? Princess Margaret and Frances Shand Kydd..can you get better irresponsible/careless/impulsive persons in that circle? Sorry..no offence for those two..

 

[Dman]

It's a shame though.

 

[Warren]

...Imagine what big deal they make if the letters were found..

That's why they have the Royal Archives. Everything safe and secure under lock and seal at Windsor Castle for whatever period of time is deemed appropriate, thirty years, fifty years, even a hundred years.

It remains a mystery as to why Princess Margaret at least didn't send her mother's correspondence relating to Diana to the Royal Archives, or why the Queen Mother herself hadn't sent it off (or even why Diana's mother chose not to do so). I doubt the QM had hoarded all of her private papers dating back to before her wedding in 1923 at Clarence House. Every so often they must have had a clear-out of paperwork to be secured in the Archives at Windsor Castle so there is no logical reason why Diana-related correspondence couldn't have been included. The alternative, physical destruction, is akin to an attack on the historical record.

It also raises the question as to whether Princess Margaret took the opportunity to destroy the Queen Mother's correspondence that related to the Princess's own romantic and marital vicissitudes, from Townsend to Snowdon to Llewellyn.

 

[Queen Camilla]

Oh okay. Well that's an interesting way of looking at it too. Although I'm sure not all their correspondents were harsh but loving and sincere.

So much of Diana's relationship with the royal family have been the fodder for the tabloids and some stuff were just made up and tarnished. I think it would've been great to at least have some sort of insight of the real relationship between Diana and the royals. There are some things out there but I think destroying her latters was a careless act.

No one actually knows the number of letters written between the 2 women.

By some accounts the Queen Mum stopped talking to Diana in 1984.

We have no idea, how many letters were destroyed on either side and how many survived.

To assume all were destroyed is wrong. To assume there were that many to begin with is also wrong.

Why would there have been any letter between Diana and the Queen Mum about Charles & Diana's marriage/divorce if the relationship between the 2 women ended in 1984? Even if it lasted longer why would they have written many letters between them.

Logically, this is a relationship between grandmother/daughter in-law and not many people write letters to their grandmother-in law.

Most letters might have been of a general nature asking about their health, commenting on how the children had grown since she last saw them, a thank you note for a birthday/Christmas gift. Nothing of interest.

Most people assume more than what these letter probably contained.

 

[nascarlucy]

Usually when someone destroys letters or documents, it's because they don't want others to see the contents of the letters or the documents for whatever reason. The contents are embarrassing to them or people who read them would get an impression of them which may or may not be correct. Sometimes it's done because the person doing this doesn't like the person. Could it be possible that the individuals who destroyed the documents had a falling out with Diana or in the case of PM didn't like her.

From what I gather it doesn't seem like PM liked many people.

Seems strange why if its true that Princess Margaret would destroy letters that Princess Diana sent to the Queen Mother as I don't think she was mentioned in these letters.

 

[Mermaid1962]

It's a loss for serious historians as well. All they will have to go on is recorded comments about what the Queen Mother and Diana said about each other, but not what they said to each other.

It's a shame though.

 

[Queen Camilla]

...Seems strange why if its true that Princess Margaret would destroy letters that Princess Diana sent to the Queen Mother as I don't think she was mentioned in these letters.

Princess Margaret routinely sorted out her mother's letters. It had nothing to do with Diana. Every year she may have thrown out everything that was 5/10 years old. The Queen Mother received thousands of letters a year. Do you think each & every one was & should have been saved?
.

 

[Aliza]

Princess Margaret routinely sorted out her mother's letters. It had nothing to do with Diana. Every year she may have thrown out everything that was 5/10 years old. The Queen Mother received thousands of letters a year. Do you think each & every one was & should have been saved?

I think the historian in question probably wouldn't put letters between members of the Royal Family in the same category as those from the public or "bread and butter" letters from friends. We have no way of truly knowing PM's intentions but since Shawcross singles out letters from Diana specifically in his biography of the QM (where it's almost the only reference to Diana - IIRC, there were less than ten, maybe less than five.) I would think the implication is the Princess didn't want these letters ever made public. As to the QM not taking action, whether stopping Margaret or submitting to the RA at Windsor - she was definitely a passive person in many familial manners, at least face to face. For example - the Townsend affair was never discussed between the QM and her younger daughter - and they were living together at the time! Even the Royal Family referred to this attitude as the QM's "ostriching". I'm just saddened that the exchanges between two of the House of Windsor's most influential women have been lost to history. The RA could easily have kept them out of public view during William and Harry's lives if their publication would have proved painful.

 

[Queen Camilla]

Sorry but it just seem too neat of a package, to say that Princess Margaret destroyed Diana's letter and Diana's mother's destroyed the Queen Mother's letter.

That's is why I think the letters, if any really existed, were not of any significance.

When did Frances come in and clean out Diana's things, before or after Paul Burrell stole some?

Wasn't Frances supposedly left out of the funeral arrangement for Diana? Do you really think if she did not have access to her daughter's body, she had access to KP after Diana's death?

If Diana & her mother was not on speaking terms when she died do you really think the staff, if they were loyal to Diana, would have allowed her mother into the KP?

Logically, it doesn't make sense.

 

[Dman]

Diana and The Queen Mother didn't stop talking to each other in 1984. Their relationship continued for many years and I think Diana was even at The Queen Mother's 90th birthday party.

I do think it's a shame that their letters to each other was destroyed.

 

[Queen Camilla]

In 2009 when Shawcross 1st book came out there was no mention of Diana's mother destroying any letters. (This is a new add to the story.)

Shawcross, himself said in 2009, "there is no record of just what was lost." He was only suggesting what the letters "might" have contained and why they might have been destroyed. Also he did not suggest they were about the Wales marriage/divorce. Nor did he give a timeline as when the letters might have been written.

It was everyone assuming what was contained in the letters & everyone else ADDING on to the story.

Diana may have attended the Queen mother 90th birthday party but that does not mean she was still on speaking terms with her. It might have been for show as Diana was still part of the family and not yet divorced.

Also even if they spoke to each other, that does not mean Diana wrote letters to the Queen Mum about her marriage to Charles.

 

[Dman]

Diana and members of the royal family had their differences but I think they all respected and admired Diana. I think Diana respected and admired them too.

The tabloids and other media outlet have come up with all kinds of crazy stories about the royals and their relationships with each other but I don't think the royals hated or disliked Diana. They had their moments, as all families do, but I think it shocked and deeply saddned the royal family when they lost Diana so early. I have no doubt in my mind that they miss her just as they miss The Queen Mother & Princess Margaret and other late members of their family.