Diana's Relationships with The Queen and Other Members of the Royal Family - Page 23

XeniaCasaraghi · #**441** 05-23-2016, 12:01 AM

Didn't Diana have bad relations with her own family? She cut them off stopped talking to them, felt abandoned by her mother, pushed her step .other down the stairs, wasn't talking to one or all of her siblings at the time of her death? Diana had bad relationships with a lot of people; the RF not wanting to associate with her isn't entirely their fault. Diana seems to need 100% of her relations whether friend family or lover, that is something most people cannot give to another.

Mermaid1962 · #**442** 05-23-2016, 12:46 PM

Yes, you're right. She was capable of a great deal of love, but she required a lot in return. She was very good with "the people" and loved by them because she didn't have in-depth relationships with them. Even those she met with whom she had correspondence didn't live with her day-to-day. I think that "the public" brought out the best in her and fulfilled something inside her.

Denville · #**443** 05-26-2016, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mermaid1962

Yes, you're right. She was capable of a great deal of love, but she required a lot in return. She was very good with "the people" and loved by them because she didn't have in-depth relationships with them. Even those she met with whom she had correspondence didn't live with her day-to-day. I think that "the public" brought out the best in her and fulfilled something inside her.

Perhaps that is true, that she was a bit of a "street angel and a house devil", but it doesn't make her a bad person. I think she had problems, emotional ones that made her needy with her own close friends, but her kinder better side showed up in her dealings with the public. People DID recieve help and kindness from her, and that was real.. and they were grateful. Perhaps she was nicer with them because she COULD be helpful to them and not be the one who was unhappy and in need of help..
friends have said that she would sometimes fall out wtih tehm and cut them off, but then if they were in need of help she'd come back and be very kind and helfpul... ROsa Monkton said this about I think when she lost a baby.. that Diana who had had a row with her, called up and came around to help and was wonderful...
Perhps she felt very useless and unworthy and it was only when she was able to do something for people that she felt worthwhile..

Mermaid1962 · #**444** 05-27-2016, 02:59 PM

Quite possibly. I know a fair number of people who are "givers". If they aren't actively helping, they get depressed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Denville

Perhps she felt very useless and unworthy and it was only when she was able to do something for people that she felt worthwhile..

Denville · #**445** 05-27-2016, 04:12 PM

Her brother did say that she had deep feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness so that would fit in wit her having a low opinon of herself so perhaps she only felt good when she was able to do something to help people, whether it was a friend with a child with problems, or an ordinary women with a sick child.. and the part of her that wanted to help people was very real

Jacknch · #**446** 05-27-2016, 05:20 PM

Further posts that have nothing to do wth Diana's relationship wth the Queena nd other members of the Royal Family will be deleted without notice. Please stay on topic.

XeniaCasaraghi · #**447** 05-29-2016, 05:22 PM

Perhaps she was just good with people who only required a little bit from her. A hug, a touch, a photo op; but from those who needed a regular relationship that required more time and energy and exchanges she just couldn't do it. We know Diana brought Hewitt things but what else did she do for him, did she listen to his fears about Desert Storm etc.?
As for her relationship with the RF, about Margaret; has anyone heard that when she heard that Diana was dead and she had to return from vacation that she responded "even dead she's causing problems"? I don't know where I heard that from.

Curryong · #**448** 05-29-2016, 06:01 PM

Diana did have relationships, close friendships with people that lasted for years, her ex flat mates for instance. Diana's relationship with several members of the Royal family was changed and inevitably clouded by the breakup of her marriage to their son, brother, nephew, cousin, and that also coloured their memories of her. Blood will out, and most families will close ranks against an outsider if one of their own is unhappy. Just because they're Royal doesn't mean the BRF was somehow different.

Denville · #**449** 05-29-2016, 07:03 PM

I think you can't deny though that there were other friendships of hers that didn't last long.. or rather that she fell out with many of her "own friends". But I wont say more about that here because that's not the subject.
I think that (while a lot of what you say is true) Im not sure she was very close to younger royals in her early married life. I think she did befriend them, but i get the feeling she was always rather lonely among them because she didn't really fit in that well. I think she did try, and got on OK with them but one of her staff said that she siad wistfully that Fergie had more fun friends than she had, and I think one reason for her trying to get Sarah F into the family was to have a chum of her own age, who was not a born royal...

Mermaid1962 · #**450** 05-29-2016, 07:52 PM

A quote like that was also attributed to the Queen Mother.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

As for her relationship with the RF, about Margaret; has anyone heard that when she heard that Diana was dead and she had to return from vacation that she responded "even dead she's causing problems"? I don't know where I heard that from.

COUNTESS · #**451** 05-29-2016, 07:58 PM

Whoever said that was a dolt. Nobody lined up when Margaret died. She was not Diana, nor was she anyone most cared about, except the immediate family.

Denville · #**452** 05-29-2016, 09:53 PM

But what has that to say to anything. I think that Margaret DID complain about the smell of rotting flowers around KP, which was nasty of her, but it is an indication of how fed up she and I think other royals were, at the time...that they didn't feel any great grief about Diana.

Denville · #**453** 06-16-2016, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HistoryGirl

I can certainly agree with the last statement. Each and every day I see that the masses must be appeased, with little regard for logic or any other sense.

I dont see that at all. In the end, the "masses" pay for the royal lifestyle, and they are the ones who say whether the RF stays in its position or not. Diana was a public figure and loved by many, so I think that the public had a right to ask for some sign that the RF who had fallen out with her, had SOME respect for her in death and that they, the public were allowed to join in her final rites.

Denville · #**454** 06-21-2016, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XeniaCasaraghi

Perhaps she was just good with people who only required a little bit from her. A hug, a touch, a photo op; but from those who needed a regular relationship that required more time and energy and exchanges she just couldn't do it. that from.

I dont think that that is true at all. I think that Diana worked hard at her relationships, in fact I think that she put so much into them that she WOULD expect a lot back, and the RF are probably less inclined to be "intense" than she was. I believe she bought expensive thoughtful gifts for them and of course they dont do expensive gifts at christmas. She said that she longed to be close to her Mother in law and hug her and the queen does not "do" that sort of close lovey relationship...

CyrilVladisla · #**455** 07-29-2016, 10:21 PM

Did Princess Diana believe the entire Royal Family was against her?

Curryong · #**456** 07-29-2016, 10:53 PM

At the beginning of her engagement? No, they were welcoming to her though of course some were closer temperamentally than others. For instance, I don't think Diana and Anne ever had too much in common!

At the beginning of her marriage I think Diana felt misunderstood because she didn't fit into the royals very structured life at places like Balmoral, (where she spent the latter part of her honeymoon) missed her friends, felt lonely, but I don't believe that she felt that many of them were 'against her' at that stage.

Of all the BRF, IMO Diana got on with Princess Margaret the best, was cordial with Andrew and quite fond of Edward. Her relationship with her neighbour at KP Princess Michael was fraught at best, and Diana was in awe of her mother in law. When you're in awe of someone I don't believe you are ever at ease. The Queen is also very shy.

After several years, as the marriage crumbled so did the various relationships between Diana and members of the BRF. Blood matters in the end, and I think the BRF very much close ranks when one of their own is attacked.

Therefore during the War of the Waleses, when it was becoming clear what had happened with Morton and the rest, Diana lost her support base. At the end of her marriage Diana did feel angry, resentful and bitter about various things, and yes I do think she probably felt the entire BRF was ranged against her at that stage.

Dman · #**457** 07-29-2016, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curryong

At the beginning of her engagement? No, they were welcoming to her though of course some were closer temperamentally than others. For instance, I don't think Diana and Anne ever had too much in common!

At the beginning of her marriage I think Diana felt misunderstood because she didn't fit into the royals very structured life at places like Balmoral, (where she spent the latter part of her honeymoon) missed her friends, felt lonely, but I don't believe that she felt that many of them were 'against her' at that stage.

Of all the BRF, IMO Diana got on with Princess Margaret the best, was cordial with Andrew and quite fond of Edward. Her relationship with her neighbour at KP Princess Michael was fraught at best, and Diana was in awe of her mother in law. When you're in awe of someone I don't believe you are ever at ease. The Queen is also very shy.

After several years, as the marriage crumbled so did the various relationships between Diana and members of the BRF. Blood matters in the end, and I think the BRF very much close ranks when one of their own is attacked.

Therefore during the War of the Waleses, when it was becoming clear what had happened with Morton and the rest, Diana lost her support base. At the end of her marriage Diana did feel angry, resentful and bitter about various things, and yes I do think she probably felt the entire BRF was ranged against her at that stage.

Diana really didn't have much of a support base when she was a member of the royal family. Her and The Queen got along. Her relationship with Philip was good and she was close to the Kent's. Andrew and Edward were good friends of hers, but she didn't have much emotional support though. She lacked support from her own blood family as well.

Princess Michael of Kent has been very frank about Diana's past situation.

Katrianna · #**458** 07-30-2016, 01:23 AM

Actually, the HM and Prince Philip were still quite fond of Diana and supported her against Charles during the Troubles. It was the Panorama interview that upset them and they then joined the rest of the Royals in circling the wagons. Diana had a good relationship with Andrew and Edward, had a fairly good relationships with Anne and Margaret at first, then they waned. Concerning Princess Michael, Diana wasn't the only Royal to have a dicey relationship with HRH. She just joined the line with the rest of the Royal Family.

Denville · #**459** 07-30-2016, 03:34 AM

I thought that Prss Michael was quite kind to her when the marriage broke up and said that she should not curtsty to her...
I think that Phil and the queen were supportive of her, fro longer than the rest of the RF but it was because they wanted to try and keep the marriage going rather than because they had much in common with her... or much affection for her..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curryong

At
Therefore during the War of the Waleses, when it was becoming clear what had happened with Morton and the rest, Diana lost her support base. At the end of her marriage Diana did feel angry, resentful and bitter about various things, and yes I do think she probably felt the entire BRF was ranged against her at that stage.

yes I think by the War time, she was feeling angry and hostile to the RF as a whole and felt that they all disliked her, and I think by then it was true. In Morton's second book he said that Di had a present for Lady Sarah Chatto's first baby and because by then relations were so cool with Margaret, her neighbour at KP, she had to give it to one of the staff to pass on...

Katrianna · #**460** 07-30-2016, 07:30 PM

You're probably right about Princess Michael after the marriage break up. I hadn't ever read anything about her relationship with Diana after the divorce. I remember reading about the baby present and Princess Margaret.
Not to stray off topic, but I have the feeling that Princess Margaret was probably the most difficult of relationships Diana had especially during the years of her marriage problems. She could be more "royal" than even the Queen or Queen Mother and was quite prickly with people than even Diana. To me, her behavior towards Diana perhaps was a reflection of her own marriage difficulties combined with her own health and personal problems.
Sometimes we deflect our worst experiences on another person going through the same things and not in a positive way and become the worst to judge. Margaret didn't follow the Queen's lead and bow her head as Diana's coffin wheeled past, it was one of Margaret at her worst.
I apologize for going off topic.