Diana's Relationships with The Queen and Other Members of the Royal Family - Page 11

Nice Nofret · #**201** 04-24-2011, 07:27 AM

Diana always reminds me a lot of my sister (same age) who is also always scapegoating everybody around her, for her misconceptions about how life works. The body language, not wanting to conform, etc.

When I look at the early interviews and pictures of their early years together, I'm sure they where happy enough and tried to make it work. But I fear with characters like hers it's difficult ... and I presume that also Charles has edges and difficult sides

The Queen knows full well, that it's not easy to be a royal - to do s.o. duty etc. so of course she cared for Diana, who was the daughter and granddaughter of a friend

MRSJ · #**202** 04-24-2011, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nice Nofret

The Queen knows full well, that it's not easy to be a royal - to do s.o. duty etc. so of course she cared for Diana, who was the daughter and granddaughter of a friend

Yes but don't forget the Queen knows nothing of what it's like to be a 'regular' person- I think there is a HUGE difference between being born and raised Royal and marrying in so they both have to try and understand each others POV as much as they're able, in this case I am not sure if either was able to fully grasp the others circumstances......

Skippy · #**203** 04-24-2011, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRSJ

Yes but don't forget the Queen knows nothing of what it's like to be a 'regular' person- I think there is a HUGE difference between being born and raised Royal and marrying in so they both have to try and understand each others POV as much as they're able, in this case I am not sure if either was able to fully grasp the others circumstances......

I totally agree with this.

**Zonk** · #**204** 04-24-2011, 12:17 PM

I believe there were a lot of issues at the core of the relationships.

First I don't think there should be a generalization about 19/20 year olds. There are people in that age group who are somewhat young and immature and there are others who are old and wise beyond their ages. How many of us know an indidvidual who appeared older and maturer than their age group (and contemporaries).

I think at 20, Diana was definitely past the legal age of consent to marry and probably mature enough to do so. But to marry a man of 32? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who marry young and marry people older than them. But there has to be some common ground, interest, etc. And I don't believe that was the case for Charles and Diana.

I also think there is a huge difference on living on the fringes of royalty and being royal. Surely Diana witnessed her father and grandmother working for the Royals but watching your family at work is a lot different than doing the work.

In regards to her relationships with member of the BRF...I think the Diana loved and revered the Queen and the DoE. She definitely liked Princess Margaret and Lady Sarah Chatto among others. She certainly respected Princess Anne...they were just too different to be more than sister in laws.

I definitely think she didin't think about the consequences of her actions and how they would affect her relationship with the BRF. Margaret, Sarah, The Queen Mother (and others) certainly changed the scope of the relationship once the book came out and the interview began.

She failed to understand that by attacking Charles and the monarchy she was attacking them as well. I dont' think she realized that until it was too late.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Skippy · #**205** 04-24-2011, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zonk

I believe there were a lot of issues at the core of the relationships.

First I don't think there should be a generalization about 19/20 year olds. There are people in that age group who are somewhat young and immature and there are others who are old and wise beyond their ages. How many of us know an indidvidual who appeared older and maturer than their age group (and contemporaries).

I think at 20, Diana was definitely past the legal age of consent to marry and probably mature enough to do so. But to marry a man of 32? Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of people who marry young and marry people older than them. But there has to be some common ground, interest, etc. And I don't believe that was the case for Charles and Diana.

I also think there is a huge difference on living on the fringes of royalty and being royal. Surely Diana witnessed her father and grandmother working for the Royals but watching your family at work is a lot different than doing the work.

In regards to her relationships with member of the BRF...I think the Diana loved and revered the Queen and the DoE. She adored Princess Margaret and Lady Sarah Chatto. She certainly respected Princess Anne...they were just too different to be more than sister in laws.

I definitely think she didin't think about the consequences of her actions and how they would affect her relationship with the BRF. Margaret, Sarah, The Queen Mother (and others) certainly changed the scope of the relationship once the book came out and the interview began.

She failed to understand that by attacking Charles and the monarchy she was attacking them as well. I dont' think she realized that until it was too late.

Hindsight is 20/20.

True, true... And the bold part is my opinion as well.

**Zonk** · #**206** 04-24-2011, 01:01 PM

I also forgot to add that by attacking the monarchy she was also attacking her children's legacy. I am pretty sure she didn't think about that.

MRSJ · #**207** 04-24-2011, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zonk

I also forgot to add that by attacking the monarchy she was also attacking her children's legacy. I am pretty sure she didn't think about that.

Good point!

Madame Royale · #**208** 04-24-2011, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zonk

I also forgot to add that by attacking the monarchy she was also attacking her children's legacy. I am pretty sure she didn't think about that.

I think Diana considered her childen to be her legacy, above all else, and that ultimately her influence would have in some way, reshaped the face of the monarchy and it's presence in society.

The modern day monarchy as she knew it, was not always going to last and it is for that reason that I don't believe she really considered her endeavours to be detremental to the legacy of her children as together, they could shape their own legacy, seperate to those of the current monarch and heir.

God knows that in most things Diana must have meant well. I wouldn't doubt that for a moment. But she was for many years a broken and emotionally isolated woman and ultimately her rational judgement through feeling she was alone in it all and that she suffered mental illness (depression, bulimia etc) wasn't always present when it would have best served her. In all things, I don't think it can be said that her actions truly reflected the women she was, but were representative of someone she could be as a result of what was going on at the time.

1222 · #**209** 04-24-2011, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zonk

I also forgot to add that by attacking the monarchy she was also attacking her children's legacy. I am pretty sure she didn't think about that.

I have to agree with that. I also think with Dianna's parents divorce, there was a lot of fighting and blaming each other,I think Diana copied her parents actions in her own marriage.

Katrianna · #**210** 04-25-2011, 01:57 AM

I agree that Diana was certainly of legal age to marry, but she was an immature 19-20 yr. old., she fell into the immature group instead of the mature young adults her age. What further hurt her was that her family was of no help to her at all. When Diana expressed doubts and second thoughts about marrying Charles, her sisters reportedly replied the "too late Dutch, your face is on the tea towels." Her family appeared more interested in getting an even greater social standing by marrying one of their own into the Royal Family and Charles was feeling the pressure from his family.
As to the Panorama interview, Diana was urged by her advisers and friends not to do it, but she didn't listen to anyone and rushed headlong into it. It was a huge mistake for her.

hudsonm · #**211** 05-06-2011, 01:17 AM

At the time of her death, relationships were probably in a good state. With the Queen and Charles that is.

PrincessKaimi · #**212** 05-06-2011, 02:13 AM

I don't know any mature 19-20 year olds (and I've been teaching that age group since 1979). They think they are mature, that's for sure, but one needs to protect and baby them (it seems to me) or else they fall apart. Perhaps this was not the case in the early 20th century, but Diana seems to me to have been a normal (neither immature nor mature) 19-20 year old.

Virtually all of them (whether they've served in the military, had difficult lives, etc.) are very naive/immature compared to a 27-30 year old. The twenties are an amazing decade.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nice Nofret

Diana always reminds me a lot of my sister (same age) who is also always scapegoating everybody around her, for her misconceptions about how life works. The body language, not wanting to conform, etc.

When I look at the early interviews and pictures of their early years together, I'm sure they where happy enough and tried to make it work. But I fear with characters like hers it's difficult ... and I presume that also Charles has edges and difficult sides

The Queen knows full well, that it's not easy to be a royal - to do s.o. duty etc. so of course she cared for Diana, who was the daughter and granddaughter of a friend

Your sister sounds quite likable. And you sound rather like you're projecting your own family situation onto someone else's.

XeniaCasaraghi · #**213** 05-15-2011, 08:28 PM

I know some mature 19/20yr olds but Diana was definitely not one of them. She seemed to have the maturity and emotional level of a 14yr old.

camelot23ca · #**214** 05-15-2011, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zonk

I also forgot to add that by attacking the monarchy she was also attacking her children's legacy. I am pretty sure she didn't think about that.

Hands down, this has always been the most confusing part of Diana's actions for me. I find it difficult to reconcile the adoring mother that virtually everyone who came into contact with her says she was with some of the things she did that were obviously designed to damage the monarchy. I think her perspective was off - instead of seeing herself realistically, as a small part of an institution that was ultimately much bigger than one person, no matter how popular, she over estimated her personal importance to the whole endeavor. I think that would be an easy thing to do given the amount of public attention and adoration she was given.

XeniaCasaraghi · #**215** 05-16-2011, 05:08 PM

I'm pretty sure it was said somewhere in this thread that Diana believed her own press. I also recall reading that William was angry at his mother for the Panorama interview. I think Diana had a tendency to jump into situations and not think them out or think about how they would affect those around her.

**Zonk** · #**216** 05-16-2011, 06:41 PM

Without a doubt....Diana acted without thinking.

Even in her leaked letters, both the Queen and Prince Phillip showed some concern. Unfortunately, they didn't know how to help her. Her actions were certainly a cry for help...its a shame we wasn't open for constructive criticism. But that I mean she wasn't open to hear what people had to say...the good and the bad. Someone certainly said that Panorama interview wasn't a good idea...but she failed to listen to them.

kelly1994 · #**217** 05-16-2011, 07:13 PM

I am no part of the Princess Di generation, she died when I was three years old and I don't understand a lot of the references made to her but I really like going through and reading the threads about her and hearing such diverse opinions about her. I can't believe so much press was made over one woman who married into royalty. Whenever my mother talks about her says how Princess Diana became a symbol of kindness.

From reading this thread it sounds like there was really nobody who held sole blame over the relationships between her and the royal family, it was really everybody's fault. Just the way things are.

Mermaid1962 · #**218** 05-16-2011, 11:23 PM

Agreed. Families are complicated, and Royal families are more complicated than most.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kelly1994

From reading this thread it sounds like there was really nobody who held sole blame over the relationships between her and the royal family, it was really everybody's fault. Just the way things are.

IloveCP · #**219** 06-07-2011, 11:49 PM

What was her relationship like with Princess Margaret?The media lets it look like they hated each other but of course you can't always trust the media.

**Zonk** · #**220** 06-08-2011, 12:16 AM

I believe that pre Andrew Morton book, Panaroma interview --- Diana and Margaret had a good relationship....I believe that Diana said she adored Margaret and had a good relationship with Sarah, Margaret's daughter.

Post Andrew Morton, Panaroma interview ---- the relationship was pretty much not there. Margaret took the book and the interview as a betrayal of the BRF. She was pretty much done. Didn't she write Diana a nasty letter letting her know so?