Diana's Eating Disorders and Health Issues

[olebabs]

And if you then live in a family of people who tend to keep everything bottled up, it certainly can't have been easy. I don't think any of the two, was emotionally equipped to handle each other, sadly.

Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher

Her eating disorder was revealed when one of the reporters posted outside their home traced the car of a frequent visitor to a doctor who specialized in eating disorders. So the doctor actually came to their home--Diana didn't go alone to an appointment. We don't know how involved Charles was in her therapy or whether the doctor or Diana wanted him involved.

Apparently Diana wasn't receptive to therapy at that point, which is very common for people who suffer from mental illnesses. Even when they recognize there is a problem, too many feel that they should just be strong enough to overcome it. No one feels that way about diabetes or cancer, but there is a belief that people should be able to control their emotions and feelings. Tragically, it is not always possible.

One of the most incredible things about Diana was that she did help so many other people while she was suffering from her own demons.

[anbrida]

Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher

Regarding William and Harry, for many years the media promoted Diana's allegations that Prince Charles was a cold, uncaring father. I remember, though, that in the days following Princess Diana's TV interview, the media proclaimed Diana the "winner" in the public relations war with Prince Charles and the royal family. Then came a startling announcement: both William and Harry had chosen to spend the Christmas holidays with their father. Even Princess Diana's biggest media supporters had to admit that she had not "won" when it came to her sons.

Over the next year, it was widely conceded that both boys were choosing to spend more time with their father--although some of her supporters tried to argue that they simply loved hunting and fishing. I think that most children who have mentally ill parents love and are very protective of their ill parent, but they crave normality and will prefer the "well" parent (if they have one). Then they feel guilty for not being there for the sick parent. It's a sad situation all around.

I really doubt the authenticity of this story. In the following story, William told the girl he met in 1997 that he really wanted to spend the christmas with his mother too. And obviously he blame his father for the reason why he couldn't. If it was the boys who made the decision, William would not put the blame on his father.

And I think William's thought was made known to the adults. From Paul Burrel's book, we know the Queen had allowed the boys to be with their mother for the Christmas of 1997. This is the first time since 1994.

I quite understand William's mind. Children usually hate to show preference. He must be upset that his mother was not treated fairly on the case of Christmas.

She remembers watching television with William. "He told me some stuff about his father and mother - 'my father is not so kind with my mum. It's a pity because I would like to spend Christmas with my mother, too.'"

The Express On Sunday Magazine :* Marion Remembers Her Good Friend Diana* - Princess Diana Remembered

And I understand now why William would have told the girl, Marion such intimate stuffs. Marion was very *safe*. She was only 10 then, non-British, living far away from Britain, and the press would not have known the existence of this girl have not the death of Diana. I guess in Britain, it would be very hard for William to find a person he can trust enough to open his mind.

[US Royal Watcher]

Originally Posted by anbrida

I really doubt the authenticity of this story. In the following story, William told the girl he met in 1997 that he really wanted to spend the christmas with his mother too. And obviously he blame his father for the reason why he couldn't. If it was the boys who made the decision, William would not put the blame on his father.

And I think William's thought was made known to the adults. From Paul Burrel's book, we know the Queen had allowed the boys to be with their mother for the Christmas of 1997. This is the first time since 1994.

I quite understand William's mind. Children usually hate to show preference. He must be upset that his mother was not treated fairly on the case of Christmas.

Even if this is accurate, what she is saying is not inconsistent. I'm sure William and Harry wanted to spend Christmas with both their parents. Unfortunately, at that point, Charles and Diana could not stand to be together. As you indicate, the boys were given a choice. Obviously, the Christmas after the interview, they choose to spend Christmas with their father and his family.

Most of Diana's friends confirm that Diana regretted the interview because the boys were upset and angry with her. Unfortunately, people with bulimia, especially if they also suffer from a personality disorder, are not always able to accurately predict how others will respond to their actions. I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing until she saw how it affected her sons.

[sirhon11234]

Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher

Even if this is accurate, what she is saying is not inconsistent. I'm sure William and Harry wanted to spend Christmas with both their parents. Unfortunately, at that point, Charles and Diana could not stand to be together.

By 1997 especially by the time of her death Diana and Charles' relationship improved greatly. I remember reading that he sent her a bouquet of flowers for her last birthday.

[US Royal Watcher]

Sirhon11234, you are right. By 1997, they were getting along. Anbrida and I were referring to Christmas 1995, which was shortly after Princess Diana's television interview.

[anbrida]

Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher

Even if this is accurate, what she is saying is not inconsistent. I'm sure William and Harry wanted to spend Christmas with both their parents. Unfortunately, at that point, Charles and Diana could not stand to be together. As you indicate, the boys were given a choice. Obviously, the Christmas after the interview, they choose to spend Christmas with their father and his family.

Most of Diana's friends confirm that Diana regretted the interview because the boys were upset and angry with her. Unfortunately, people with bulimia, especially if they also suffer from a personality disorder, are not always able to accurately predict how others will respond to their actions. I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing until she saw how it affected her sons.

I don't think Royal kids have a choice on this. Otherwise how to explain the boys spent the 1996 Christmas with his father again. So was it still the boys'sown decision and then they went to moan about being not able to spend the christmas with their mother? Even for the Christmas of 1997, Paul Burrel's words was "the Queen allowed" instead of "the boys choose".

I really don't want to blame everything on mental illness. A lot of parents make poor judgement, but most of them do not have mentally problem at all.

Originally Posted by sirhon11234

By 1997 especially by the time of her death Diana and Charles' relationship improved greatly. I remember reading that he sent her a bouquet of flowers for her last birthday.

No, Charles didn't sent the bouquet of flowers, it was from another admirer. It was on his way to an official engagement, Charles dropped by the kensington Palace to have a cup of tea with Diana. But Diana was still very excited about his visit.

But I agree by the end of her life, Charles and Diana did try to mend the rifts and get on with each other as friends, *for the sake of their boys*. Every child will be upset if their parent can not get along with each other. Diana even went ahead to assure the boy that their father used to love her. She talked about that with Ingrid Seward weeks before her death.

"Charles did love me when we got married," she said. This. I (Ingrid Seward) suggested, was not the way her marriage to the future King has been represented. The popular legend, I reminded her, is that she was the one who alone did the loving.

She put down her cup, wrung her hands, looked at me and declared: "That's simply not true. He did love me. And if anyone ever saw the love letters we wrote to each other, they would believe that."

On the day of the separation, she told me: "We sat together on this sofa and cried."

Why, I asked her, was she choosing to tell me this now?

"For the sake of my boys," she answered. "It is very upsetting for them to hear that their father didn't love me. "

"I have to consider the children and their feelings. If they thought Charles hadn't loved me, it would not be good for them."

DIANA 1961-1997: HER DREAMS: If my boys read his love letters, they would know Charles used to adore me. - Free Online Library

[US Royal Watcher]

Originally Posted by anbrida

But I agree by the end of her life, Charles and Diana did try to mend the rifts and get on with each other as friends, *for the sake of their boys*. Every child will be upset if their parent can not get along with each other. Diana even went ahead to assure the boy that their father used to love her. She talked about that with Ingrid Seward weeks before her death.



DIANA 1961-1997: HER DREAMS: If my boys read his love letters, they would know Charles used to adore me. - Free Online Library

First, I don't consider Paul Burrell a reliable source. Regarding Diana's conversation with Ingrid Stewart, I think that proves my point. Without going into the actual truth of Diana and Charles relationship, how many times did Diana allege that Charles had never been in love with her? More importantly, how many times did Diana claim that things were perfect, especially in the beginning.

We all tend to remember events in the past the way we would prefer them to have happened, but people with personality disorders will often have extreme difficulty accurately remembering the past.

For example, I once had to sort through a major problem at work that involved my colleague who suffered from a personality disorder. I tried to be sympathetic and made it clear that I wasn't attacking her. I repeatedly reassured her that I wanted to help her solve the problem, but in the course of one 30 minute conversation, I got three versions of what had happened. She had additional versions over the next days--including that she hadn't even been present. The common thread was that it could not have been her fault. She wasn't lying, but she could not bear the idea that anyone, including herself, believe that she was anything less than perfect.

Diana obviously had the same problem, and I'm sure it was very confusing and difficult for her family and friends who had to deal with it.

[olebabs]

When was it confirmed thet she was diagnosed with a personality disorder???

It is hardly indicative of mental illness, to feel and say things amidst a painful break up, only to see things in a different ligh once you are on the other side.

If she actually had a personality disorder, then I am sure, it was difficult for her surroundings, but has anyone contemplated how Charles was to live with???

[US Royal Watcher]

To my knowledge, Diana was not diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I believe that she has many of the symptoms. Of course, everyone has their own opinion. I base my opinion on her admission that she cut herself and threw herself down a flight of stairs, her excessive need for attention and reaffirmation, her difficulties maintaining stable relationships with other adults. Moreover, a high number of people who suffer from bulimia also suffer from a personality disorder

I agree that it can be perfectly normal to perceive things differently at different times, but suddenly claiming that Charles was in love with her after years of complaining that he was not is pretty startling. This is especially startling since, according to the article above, that she didn't acknowledge the change, even after the interviewer prompted her. It is one thing for a divorced person because of personal growth, to see another point of view or acknowledge that the outright lied (which happens). It is another thing to suddenly and completely change your story. If the change is extreme, it can be a symptom of a psychiatric disorder.

I know Charles was not perfect and apparently suffered from severe depression at one point in their marriage, but the current discussion focuses on Diana.

[Tyger]

Originally Posted by olebabs

has anyone contemplated how Charles was to live with???

No. I haven't anyway. I'm sure like any man he 'has his ways'. But are you suggesting this would be an excuse/reason for her behavior - for her flip-flopping on what really took place at any given moment? That she lacked a truth-sense is an understatement. At some point Diana needed to be made responsible for what she said. She was either intentionally lying (a lot) or she had some deeper mental problem that made truth and reality a blurred horizon for her. Take your pick - how else to explain all the inconsistencies in the story she told?

We can clearly see that living with Diana had a considerable impact on Charles, too. As a result he likely said and did things he would not have done if not under that stress - which was why living separate lives after 5 years of marriage was wise for them both. They both moved on - found love elsewhere - though it seems Diana never owned up to that. It was always Charles who walked away - never her - yet we know that was very far from the case.

However, Charles seems to do quite well living with his current wife - and in fact, seems to be a man who gathers friends as he goes. He seems to be loyal and generous - he demonstrates care, kindness and tenderness - one can extrapolate from these facts what it might be like to live with Charles - the rest is the background noise of any relationship.

Originally Posted by US Royal Watcher

To my knowledge, Diana was not diagnosed with a personality disorder, but I believe that she has many of the symptoms. Of course, everyone has their own opinion. I base my opinion on her admission that she cut herself and threw herself down a flight of stairs, her excessive need for attention and reaffirmation, her difficulties maintaining stable relationships with other adults. Moreover, a high number of people who suffer from bulimia also suffer from a personality disorder

I agree that it can be perfectly normal to perceive things differently at different times, but suddenly claiming that Charles was in love with her after years of complaining that he was not is pretty startling. This is especially startling since, according to the article above, that she didn't acknowledge the change, even after the interviewer prompted her. It is one thing for a divorced person because of personal growth, to see another point of view or acknowledge that they had outright lied (which happens). It is another thing to suddenly and completely change your story. If the change is extreme, it can be a symptom of a psychiatric disorder.

I know Charles was not perfect and apparently suffered from severe depression at one point in their marriage, but the current discussion focuses on Diana.

Well said and well observed - especially the bolded and underlined portion.

[Dman]

Originally Posted by Osipi

After all I've read, I tend to believe that there were a lot of adults around in Diana's life that were more than willing to help her. She was headstrong and refused it and went her own way and wanted to deal with things on her own and in her own time.

I just don't buy that there weren't adults there to help her if she wanted it.

Diana needed professional help and many of the adults around her really didn't offer much help. Her relationships with her family were damaged by years of personal issues. Charles was busy with CPB. William is right though..his mother was lonely and isolated. She was in a difficult position with not much good guidance. She would've taken it if there was real authentic help around.

[royal rob]

I agree Dman. I try to think it was a different time and no one knew much about mental health but there was a few people I think that treated her very badly. I hope they now know better but I doubt it

[Iluvbertie]

Diana had been offered guidance over and over again while in the Royal Family and she refused to take it. Why does anyone think she would take once she was out of the family? She simply believed that she knew best about everything and that no one could tell her anything. She was her own worst enemy.

[royal rob]

Offered guidance !!! Very different to love and care

[Dman]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

Diana had been offered guidance over and over again while in the Royal Family and she refused to take it. Why does anyone think she would take once she was out of the family? She simply believed that she knew best about everything and that no one could tell her anything. She was her own worst enemy.

She was offered guidance, but it wasn't the proper guidance she needed. Guiding her on the art of small conversation and royal waving and protocol is fine, but Diana need professional guidance in that new world that she wasn't fully prepared for. She was young, got married to a man who was interested in another married woman and the royal family were very stiff, starchy and formal in those days. It wasn't the ideal world to join- despite the glamour and glitz.

Originally Posted by royal rob

Offered guidance !!! Very different to love and care

That's right! Also, let's not forget about understanding. lots of love, care and understanding.

[MARG]

Originally Posted by Iluvbertie

Diana had been offered guidance over and over again while in the Royal Family and she refused to take it. Why does anyone think she would take once she was out of the family? She simply believed that she knew best about everything and that no one could tell her anything. She was her own worst enemy.

Well, contrary to the prevailing history re-write, Diana was not only offered love and support, she was also offered professional help and she did have some counselling but ended up going off on a tangent with alternative therapies.

But what all these newer posters don't seem to understand is that Diana, an adult who was not disturbed enough to be sectioned, made her own decisions. She decided she didn't need professional help and great heavens above, could you imagine the scandal had she indeed been sectioned! Divorce to her meant freedom to make her own choices and she decided when to risk herself and after the divorce decided she no longer wanted any RPO support except for that which involved the boys. She had no say over that.

[royal rob]

Just when you think people are starting to understand mental health you realize there are just so many that still don't get it. Hopefully one day . Well done for trying William and Harry.

[Dman]

Her words were pretty much dismissed, but Princess Michael of Kent did mention Diana in an interview a couple of years ago. She mentioned that Diana had no support team around her and had no one around her to understand her situation and position. A lot of people to this day don't fully understand the problems and situation of that time.

[Osipi]

As in the old adage "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him do the freestyle", the big issue here is that there were people that did try to guide Diana towards getting help for problems but it was her choice or not whether it worked. She did see psychiatrists but never for long and refused to take medication. That was early in the marriage. Over time, she sought help and advice but IMO, in the wrong places.

In order to be helped, one has to want it or it won't work.

[Dman]

Originally Posted by Osipi

As in the old adage "you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him do the freestyle", the big issue here is that there were people that did try to guide Diana towards getting help for problems but it was her choice or not whether it worked. She did see psychiatrists but never for long and refused to take medication. That was early in the marriage. Over time, she sought help and advice but IMO, in the wrong places.

In order to be helped, one has to want it or it won't work.

Right, the issue is that she couldn't do this alone. Also, some of her problems was in her marriage and she needed her husband in the counseling room with her. She needed her family to support her, but they had some past problems they weren't even fixing, so they couldn't be there for her.

Everything was a mess in those days, and the problem was people thought the ol' British stiff upper lip and just caring on with duties would help it all go away. The main problems in the Wales household wasn't being properly addressed in the appropriate and serious manner. Of course the problems with fill the cup and spill over into the public arena. You can't hide the obvious too long. The skeletons will bust out the closet on its own.