Diana and James Hewitt


If you have answers, please help by responding to the unanswered posts.
See posts with no answers
Queen Claude said:
I would not term it as "trapping" but the book by the Housekeeper also mentions a desire for a third child, hopefully a daughter.

As Lady Nimue states, there were layers, but I respectfully disagree that Diana did not want to get back with Charles. I think at some point Charles was done with Diana and never looked back, but Diana wavered when it came to wanting to have a relationship with Charles. I do think the confrontation with Camilla in 1989 was sincere, at that moment Diana wanted Charles and, because he was firmly ensconced with Camilla, she wanted Camilla to give him up. Of course when Diana tells the story she conveniently leaves out that at that point she had had extra-marital relationships.
Click to expand...

The story is convenient: it demonstrates (to her public) what she had to go through to try to get her husband back from the 'heartless Camilla'. Poor Diana. :ermm: It's Diana's spin from later.

By then (later) Camilla was the lover of choice for Charles, Diana knew that, and commenced Camilla's take down. Camilla giving up Charles would not have effected a Charles beating a path back to Diana. Camilla was not 'in charge' of Charles' decision regarding who he was with. This is Diana's reasoning? What is clear is Diana chose a 'public' display with Camilla. That is curious, given she could have 'had it out' with Camilla in any number of ways less obvious. So what was the point of the public theatre?

Recall that when this incident took place is not when Diana spoke about it years later. Recall, too, that she was in her longest relationship with a man that she publicly professed to 'love madly'. (Think of that: longer than even with her husband). She trying to get Charles back? Why? She was 'madly in love' with Hewitt, as were her sons. She had a pretty cozy alternate family grouping going on. What was the point of busting up Charles' nest?

If she was trying to get Charles to give Camilla up it was a strange way to go about it (demean the husband's lover). Why not actually sit down with one's husband and agree to give up Hewitt when one asks him to give up Camilla? That would be a serious attempt at reconciliation. As with all of Diana's public displays one needs to be a little more canny regarding interpretation. Diana was doing something else (imo) with that little bit of theatre with Charles' friends.
 
Last edited:
I can't help but feel that the scenario between Diana and Camilla that was made very, very public was a case of "what is mine, is mine even if I don't really use it or want it that much. If I can't have him, I don't want anyone else having him either" kind of thing. It was a play for power and control and manipulation. It was seeing Camilla as an adversary more than a serious attempt to restore her marriage out of love for Charles.
 
Lady Nimue said:
The story is convenient: it demonstrates (to her public) what she had to go through to try to get her husband back from the 'heartless Camilla'. Poor Diana. :ermm: It's Diana's spin from later.

By then (later) Camilla was the lover of choice for Charles, Diana knew that, and commenced Camilla's take down. Camilla giving up Charles would not have effected a Charles beating a path back to Diana. Camilla was not 'in charge' of Charles' decision regarding who he was with. This is Diana's reasoning? What is clear is Diana chose a 'public' display with Camilla. That is curious, given she could have 'had it out' with Camilla in any number of ways less obvious. So what was the point of the public theatre?

Recall that when this incident took place is not when Diana spoke about it years later. Recall, too, that she was in her longest relationship with a man that she publicly professed to 'love madly'. (Think of that: longer than even with her husband). She trying to get Charles back? Why? She was 'madly in love' with Hewitt, as were her sons. She had a pretty cozy alternate family grouping going on. What was the point of busting up Charles' nest?

If she was trying to get Charles to give Camilla up it was a strange way to go about it (demean the husband's lover). Why not actually sit down with one's husband and agree to give up Hewitt when one asks him to give up Camilla? That would be a serious attempt at reconciliation. As with all of Diana's public displays one needs to be a little more canny regarding interpretation. Diana was doing something else (imo) with that little bit of theatre with Charles' friends.
Click to expand...

Indeed. Why not, as you suggest, have an adult and entirely reasonable conversation? Trouble is, when one is trying to have a grown up discussion with a man who is very much one's senior, they can hide behind the superiority it affords them. I'm willing to bet that Diana felt a long way from being adult and reasonable, and when emotions kick in, as I'm sure they did, she'd have lost all credence even IF, and I believe it's a big IF, he'd been prepared to discuss it it the first place, other than to say he wasn't prepared to negotiate.
 
Osipi said:
I can't help but feel that the scenario between Diana and Camilla that was made very, very public was a case of "what is mine, is mine even if I don't really use it or want it that much. If I can't have him, I don't want anyone else having him either" kind of thing. It was a play for power and control and manipulation. It was seeing Camilla as an adversary more than a serious attempt to restore her marriage out of love for Charles.
Click to expand...
Of course Camilla was her adversary. ANd I think that Diana always had feelings for Charles and wished she could have him back.. it was the fact that she knew after a certain time that she wasn't going to get hm back, that drove her towards trying to get out of the marriage. I can't see how you can say it was a case of "I want to keep him for ME, even if I don't really want him that much." That's not the case at all. Charles had lost interest in her, because the interest was never very deep and Diana's unhappiness, mental problems which made her difficult and a lack of compatibility, killed off his feelings for her within a few years..
 
Osipi said:
I can't help but feel that the scenario between Diana and Camilla that was made very, very public was a case of "what is mine, is mine even if I don't really use it or want it that much. If I can't have him, I don't want anyone else having him either" kind of thing. It was a play for power and control and manipulation. It was seeing Camilla as an adversary more than a serious attempt to restore her marriage out of love for Charles.
Click to expand...

Beautifully summed up, Osipi. :flowers:

Tsaritsa said:
Indeed. Why not, as you suggest, have an adult and entirely reasonable conversation? Trouble is, when one is trying to have a grown up discussion with a man who is very much one's senior, they can hide behind the superiority it affords them. I'm willing to bet that Diana felt a long way from being adult and reasonable, and when emotions kick in, as I'm sure they did, she'd have lost all credence even IF, and I believe it's a big IF, he'd been prepared to discuss it it the first place, other than to say he wasn't prepared to negotiate.
Click to expand...

Interesting 'take' on Charles. Your opinion, of course, but I go by the character of the man we know. I've no doubt that Charles may have personal issues (as do we all) but I do see him as a man of integrity and discretion (never once has he spoken ill of Diana). We will never fully know what Charles was dealing with regarding Diana's imbalance (nor she of him and how he triggered her). We have some clue in the 'Portrait of a Troubled Princess' book (a harrowing read which I have never been able to finish). :sad:

My 'take' on Diana was she was never intimidated by Charles' 'seniority'. Quite the reverse, she dictated to him from nearly the get-go, and threw substantial fits if he did not abide by her wishes. Not exactly the kind of behavior that would have opened up an already cautious Charles. :ermm: In most of this we have to accept people's limitations and not judge them for those limitations. JMO.

EDIT: Remember: for the sit-down talk to have sincerity, Diana would have had to have been willing to own up to her own flirtations, and her own long-standing love affair with Hewitt. In that scenario, which among the two might not have wanted to 'negotiate'? I have my answer, what would be yours?
 
Last edited:
Denville said:
How can it be "trapping"? if she had asked Charles to give up his relationship with Camilla, and she had given up Hewitt, and had asked him to try again, and produce another child.. - it wuld IMO have been a bad idea, (at least ot try for another baby, and bring a third child into a shaky marriage) but it would not have been TRAPPING.
Click to expand...

we do not know that Diana in fact informed Charles about "dumping" hewitt.
(we do not know if they discussed openly hewitt in contradistinction to camilla) maybe Charles didnt trust diana? he was aware about Diana sleeping with hewitt for years.
Charles could have doubts about the paternity of the future 3 child and true motives of Diana. Look how strange it looks.
Charles and Diana did not sleep togehter in the same bed, behaved with each other as "neighbors" or "roommates" for at least 2 years. And then suddenly Diana comes to Charles and says "let's try again, I want a third baby".
Charles is a proud man. Maybe he didnt want to take Diana back after Manakee, Hewitt. According to rumors Charles was annoyed (I think he was hurt, jealous) with diana barri manakee affair.

IDK. it's just how it seemed to me.
 
What Denville was referring to was the theoretical hypothesis that Charles and Diana *could* have have such a discussion and should they have done, it would have been far from trapping. From my knowledge, there was never such an event that ever happened. Charles and Diana had gotten to the point where they couldn't even stand to be in the same room with each other.

I, for one, do not believe that marital infidelity actually was the main point in the breakdown of the marriage at all. None of that came about until after the marriage was severely damaged beyond repair. These were two people that should never have married in the first place and once the honeymoon was over and they lived with each other and their true natures came out, it was a far cry from the "fairy tale" marriage of a match made in heaven.
 
aigulminimalist said:
we do not know that Diana in fact informed Charles about "dumping" hewitt.
(We do not know if they discussed openly hewitt in contradistinction to camilla) maybe Charles didnt trust diana? he was aware about Diana sleeping with hewitt for years.
Charles could have doubts about the paternity of the future 3 child and true motives of Diana. Look how strange it looks.
Charles and Diana did not sleep togehter in the same bed, behaved with each other as "neighbors" or "roommates" for at least 2 years. And then suddenly Diana comes to Charles and says "let's try again, I want a third baby".
Charles is a proud man. Maybe he didnt want to take Diana back after Manakee, Hewitt. According to rumors Charles was annoyed (I think he was hurt, jealous) with diana barri manakee affair.

IDK. it's just how it seemed to me.
Click to expand...

found the answer.
I read the article about Diana's Secret Tapes March 1997. This quotation
"On another tape she talks of how "I entered into a relationship with James (Hewitt). Charles knew about it and didn't care. He said it gave him the freedom to run his own life"
explains that Charles and Diana openly discussed their affairs. It turns out they had some kind of open marriage.
 
I wouldn't take anything from a printed article as gospel truth. Can you cite the source of the article perhaps to clarify this?
 
Those are pretty good sources and do give a lot of information about what was going on with the "supposed" tapes.

One thing we have to remember with these tapes, should they still even exist, is that they were made solely by Diana with everything framed in the reality of Diana's thinking. I equate it with the Morton book. I wouldn't take anything that Diana alleged at that time as any kind of real truth but Diana's experiences spun according to how Diana wanted the public to see and think about her marriage. Her truth isn't necessarily a balanced view on how things really were.

Just the fact that she really went through measures to paint a public profile of the Wales' marriage a year after her divorce was finalized shows me that she never totally accepted the divorce and her part in it.
 
:previous: Osipi, agree with your summation. :flowers:

aigulminimalist said:
found the answer. I read the article about Diana's Secret Tapes March 1997. This quotation "On another tape she talks of how 'I entered into a relationship with James (Hewitt). Charles knew about it and didn't care. He said it gave him the freedom to run his own life' explains that Charles and Diana openly discussed their affairs. It turns out they had some kind of open marriage.
Click to expand...

That Diana had breached her marriage vows to the heir to the throne was a serious matter (an actual act of treason by law, I understand). :ermm: With this suggested conversation taking place Diana effectively posits that she asked Charles' permission to have an affair, to which he gave assent. :ohmy: This gets Diana off the hook, she cannot be culpable, cannot be prosecuted for treason under these conditions (were anyone in those days to decide to so prosecute) and she as well re-directs the attention back onto Charles, reminding people that he strayed, too, stating that he "didn't care. He said it gave him the freedom to run his own life". Pretty amazing, don't you think? Very neat. Amazing woman, this woman endlessly painted as the hapless victim of a heartless Charles, "thick as a plank" as she characterized herself. In no way does Diana come across as "thick" to me. She was one smart cookie.

I would not assume they had an open marriage. We know Charles was upset regarding the bodyguard flirtation. That's not the attitude of a man in an 'open marriage'.

But there is also a contradiction: if they openly discussed their affairs, if they had that level of free flowing conversation, what was Diana's purpose in confronting Camilla? Doesn't hang together. Diana is playing fast-and-loose with the facts. I would be inclined not to believe this facile defense unless Charles comes forward and confirms it. :cool:
 
Last edited:
Osipi said:
Those are pretty good sources and do give a lot of information about what was going on with the "supposed" tapes.

One thing we have to remember with these tapes, should they still even exist, is that they were made solely by Diana with everything framed in the reality of Diana's thinking. I equate it with the Morton book. I wouldn't take anything that Diana alleged at that time as any kind of real truth but Diana's experiences spun according to how Diana wanted the public to see and think about her marriage. Her truth isn't necessarily a balanced view on how things really were.

Just the fact that she really went through measures to paint a public profile of the Wales' marriage a year after her divorce was finalized shows me that she never totally accepted the divorce and her part in it.
Click to expand...

interesting thoughts.

What did she want from Charles after a whole year of divorce? She still blames Charles for everything.
these tapes lead me to the idea that she didnt learn anything from morton book, Panorama interview. Maybe she didnt regret Panarama interview?
 
Several posts discussing Charles and Diana's marriage have been moved to the Charles and Diana thread. Please keep this thread on the topic of Diana and James Hewitt.
 
Mermaid1962 said:
He was a serving officer posted to Germany.
Click to expand...

He was also deployed to serve during the Gulf War. It was during this time that the affair actually ended. Diana, at the time, wanted to pull strings to keep him from being deployed but Hewitt felt he needed to go.
 
:previous: Did they see each other at all when he returned from the Gulf? They exchanged letters, and Diana sent Hewitt magazines as well.
 
As far as I remember the affair was rekindled by his being on active service in the gulf and they saw each other for a time. However, while in the Gulf Hewitt was talking indiscreetly about his relationship with Diana and I tink journalists were beginning to realise that there was something serious going on. and this may have made Diana uneasy. She realised that she could not trust him to keep quiet. So after a time I think it was she who ended the affair. He was not likely to give it up since it was a source of ego boosting and of generous presents. Then he left the army and began to toy with the idea of selling the story, to make more money.
 
I wonder if his chain of command became aware of this situation and that didn't cause issues with things too.


LaRae
 
Well he was technically committing treason since he was sleeping with the PoW's wife, regardless of their arrangement.

I would imagine that at least some of the officer ranks above him didn't approve.


LaRae
 
:previous: Plus I think that they particularly wouldn't approve of Hewitt talking about it.
 
Absolutely...discretion. He went so far beyond the pale. I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't actively trying to kick him out.


LaRae
 
One thing that probably did raise a lot of eyebrows was that Hewitt would get quite a few letters from Diana and although I'm not exactly sure, I believe all correspondence is checked and redacted (if needed) in a war zone.

I'm still awaiting Hewitt's book "Love and War" and believe that will tell me more of how things went down in the Gulf. Hewitt served from 1991-1994 and then ended his Army career. So did his affair with Diana end.

Here is a brief excerpt from "Love and War" written by Hewitt himself.

https://www.theguardian.com/books/1999/oct/29/2
 
Hewitt retired I think from the army because he persstently failed to get promotion, due to failing exams.. and he was getting older.. It had nothing to do with Diana, though he was getting indiscreet about their relationship, and hinting to journlists while in the Gulf that he had a speicail friendship with Diana.
I don't think he actively tried to make money out of it, until he had left the army and was on a pension.
 
Do you think it was wise for Princess Diana to buy clothes for James Hewitt? Did Diana say she had dressed James from head to toe?
 
Doing stuff like buying clothes and giving gifts was something that Diana did for those she was close to and not only Hewitt. Its kind of like her habit of always sitting down and dashing off thank you notes to people as soon as she possibly could. It was her nature. One of Diana's endearing qualities was that she let other people know when they were appreciated.

I do know that Diana gifted James Hewitt with gold cufflinks that used to belong to her father. That added a lot of sentimental value to the gift.
 
Osipi said:
Doing stuff like buying clothes and giving gifts was something that Diana did for those she was close to and not only Hewitt. Its kind of like her habit of always sitting down and dashing off thank you notes to people as soon as she possibly could. It was her nature. One of Diana's endearing qualities was that she let other people know when they were appreciated.

I do know that Diana gifted James Hewitt with gold cufflinks that used to belong to her father. That added a lot of sentimental value to the gift.
Click to expand...

And is an indication of how seriously close the two were. :flowers: Hewitt was for sure a significant relationship for Diana (never mind that she was not loyal, cheated on him and gossiped about him: that was just her nature with her men as well).
 
Last edited:
Osipi said:
Doing stuff like buying clothes and giving gifts was something that Diana did for those she was close to and not only Hewitt. Its kind of like her habit of always sitting down and dashing off thank you notes to people as soon as she possibly could. It was her nature. One of Diana's endearing qualities was that she let other people know when they were appreciated.

I
Click to expand...

It was probably foolish of her to do this but I agree that it was part of her nature.. that she tried to show people she loved, that she loved them.. by buying presents, by offering help when needed..and writing letters...
 
Do you believe that as Diana was buying clothes for James, she was seeing James in the way she had tried to buy clothes for Prince Charles?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

iceflower
Gender & Names for Crown Prince Hussein and Princess Rajwa's first child 2024
Replies
13
Views
1K
maria-olivia
maria-olivia
iceflower
Crown Prince Hussein and Princess Rajwa are expecting their first child: Summer 2024
Replies
14
Views
2K
Biri
B
iceflower
Princess Leonore, Prince Nicolas, Princess Adrienne News Part 2: January 2024 -
Replies
2
Views
908
Blog Real
Blog Real
iceflower
Princess Estelle and Prince Oscar News Part 2: January 2024 -
Replies
6
Views
2K
LadyFinn
LadyFinn
iceflower
Prince Albert & Princess Charlene Current Events Part 6: January 2024 -
Replies
9
Views
3K
iceflower
iceflower

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom