Diana and James Hewitt


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I think it did. If there was any kind of a smoldering ember that remained of her marriage, the Morton book was the tsunami that permanently put it out.

IMO, the marriage was over, there was nothing smoldering except resentment.

They had been living apart since 1986/7.

In August 1991, the second honeymoon was a disaster.

The Morton book came out 9 months later.
 
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:previous:I disagree. She reaped immediate rewards of public sympathy in the aftermath of the Morton book but the long term fallout was fatal to her reputation within the intimate confines of the BRF, her social standing, and especially to her marriage. It became known almost immediately that contrary to her protestations, she had colluded with Morton and actively encouraged her friends to do the same. So while Charles was exposed as an adulterer and (falsely) as a bad father, even Diana's friends and supporters began to see her as less than honest and pure, to put it mildly.

All this hashing over of the Hewitt affair is so sad and ultimately pointless. I see Diana as far from blameless-and she did indeed behave in a selfish and irrational manner the way she encouraged his attentions then cut him off. But I am more sympathetic to her than to him primarily because she lacked the emotional resources to ever behave any differently than she did. Chronologically she was a young, adult woman...spiritually, emotionally and psychologically Diana never left adolescence.

Unfortunately this seemed to be true until the day she died.:sad:

Hewitt, on the other hand, was supposed to have been an officer and a gentleman drilled and steeped in the time honored traditions of the military...discipline, honor, discretion. I agree 100% with Pranter who wrote that he knew, or should have known, the risk of becoming sexually involved with the wife of a fellow officer(the PoW) who was also his future king. The fact that he was treated badly by Diana(he definitely was) and was wounded by the affair is hardly the point.

The brunt of the responsibility to behave with honor and discretion in this mess fell mostly to HIM, imo.
 
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I think technically he committed treason by having an affair with the wife of the heir. It's not like he didn't know what he was doing.


LaRae
 
:previous: He did indeed Pranter, but then so did Diana...three hundred years earlier they both would have been confined to the Tower and probably have been executed;).

Interestingly enough I have read that Charles encouraged the affair from the beginning, as it left him free to pursue his own illicit relationship with the wife of Andrew Parker-Bowles(yet another fellow officer!:ohmy:) with fewer pangs of guilt.
 
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Yes of course it would of applied to her. However talking about his actions as a officer.



LaRae
 
I think it did. If there was any kind of a smoldering ember that remained of her marriage, the Morton book was the tsunami that permanently put it out.

Wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back the Panorama interview? Don't get me wrong- the Morton book didn't help. It was a big no no in the eyes of the Royal family too.
 
I think its when she first actually brazenly went public (despite denying that she had any involvement with the Morton book) and the trials and tribulations of the marriage were hung out to dry publicly that the line in the sand was crossed. It was after the Panorama interview that the realization that divorce was the only solution was determined.

Up until the Queen gave her recommendation and assent for a divorce, I honestly think that Diana believed she would remain Princess of Wales permanently regardless of the status of their living situation and that the Prince of Wales would divorce was out of the question.
 
Never thought of it like that- but I think you are right.
 
I think Diana thought that if she raised enough fuss the Queen would 'force' Charles to stop his affair with Camilla and return to the marriage. I think the divorce idea was just a threat on Diana's part used as leverage against Charles.


LaRae
 
There are two sides and several points of view.

However double standards should not be accepted.

IMO, Hewitt behaved honorable considering how he was treated.

If Hewitt was a cad he could have written 'his story' and included all her letters in this book as soon as she dumped him.
He did not.

Or he could have written his book after the Morton's book came out.
He did not.

After the Panorama interview he could have come forward and stated, 'I did not let her down. I was true to her even after our relationship ended. I will publish my side of the story. I will say nothing more until then.'
He did not.

Or after the Panorama interview, he could have kept quiet and in complete secrecy, had the book published with all her letters in it.
He did not.

Anytime between 1991-1996, he could have simultaneously launched this book in the U.K; U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand without releasing early copies or excerpts to the media.
He did not do this.

He had several opportunities to write the book and include her letters in the book during her lifetime.
He did not.

She would have been raked over the coals if he had published his book right after the Panorama interview.

Image if he had published his book with her letters in 1992 before the Morton book.

AFAIK, he never published her letters and only wrote his story after her death.
(Did not read his book so do not know what he said.)
 
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Believe it or not I don't really blame JH for trying to cash in now. Diana is dead and cannot be hurt, her children are adults and not as vulnerable and Charles' feelings frankly don't concern me in this situation.


Hewitt is middle-aged and broke, his reputation and his honor are gone with the wind so there is nothing there to save.


The time to think of his reputation was before he entered the affair and especially before he made the decision to collaborate with Anna Pasternak on "Princess In Love" which is the book that really ended it all for him.


So what does Hewitt have to lose now? He is a sad and pathetic figure. I feel sorry for him
 
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Moonmaiden23;1838291 [B said:
The time to think of his reputation was before he entered the affair [/B]and especially before he made the decision to collaborate with Anna Pasternak on "Princess In Love".
. :sad:

According to his Larry King interview, he collaborated with Anna Pasternak on Diana's request. (see page 63 post 1253 for link to transcript.)

Also see post 1258 on page 63 for another source, Ken Wharfe.

Should the highlighted not apply to both?
 
Why on earth would Diana ask her lover to collaborate with Pasternak on a book about their adulterous affair:ermm:?

No, sorry. I don't believe it.
 
Why on earth would Diana ask her lover to collaborate with Pasternak on a book about their adulterous affair:ermm:?

No, sorry. I don't believe it.

Did you read the CNN transcript?

The affair was public before Hewitt became involved with the Pasternak book.
 
Hewitt's life story would be fascinating/interesting reading. I doubt a publisher turned him down for the reasons supposed. I think, if true, there is fear of the long arm of the BRF squashing any truths Hewitt might care to spill about a future king's mother.


I don't believe the RF has that kind of power today, especially not in the USA.

They haven't been able to squash truths about many scandalous stories over the years, so I doubt they'd begin with Hewitt's.
 
So, just because the affair was already public it was okay for JH to do a book about it??

He exercised very poor judgment from the beginning and reaped a terrible whirlwind.
 
In early 1994, Diana called Hewitt "and said I had to do something about all the innuendo that was recycling itself about us in the papers. People felt free to invent what they wanted. According to one paper Diana and I were living together for some of the time at my cousin's house in Chesilton Road in Fulham. In fact, she didn't even know the place existed." His solicitor briefed Geoffrey Robertson QC to advise as to what Hewitt could do to stop such stories. Robertson advised that there was not much he could do short of suing the papers over such a lie and that would mean Diana would be subpoenaed and he asked Hewitt if he was prepared to do that. He said he wasn't. "Geoffrey pointed out that the press knew that and that was why they kept going after me. I was a soft target."

"Diana urged me to give an interview to Richard Kay of the Daily Mail in the hope that this would put a stop to the speculation. After my experience in the Gulf I wasn't sure. But I did want to help Diana so I gave a long interview to Anna Pasternak (whom I knew through friends of friends) in the Daily Express about myself and my friendship with the Princess. This was an error. I was held up to ridicule by other papers for the fact that I had said nothing new - merely repeated the same old story which they knew to be false. The Palace, the police, Downing Street, Fleet Street and many others were all aware of the true facts of our relationship.

"Indeed true facts were coming out all the time. Prince Charles had been giving interviews to Jonathan Dimbleby for a book and television programme revealing his side of events.........With both Diana and now Charles having put their position in print, was I going to remain the silent victim of rumour for the rest of my life?

"(Pasternak) said she would like to write a book which would present Diana and myself in a sympathetic light without any tabloid spin. She assured me it would do us both good and set matters straight.

"I thought about it for several days and nights. Nothing could be as bad as the press I was now getting. And I couldn't just keep lying. Truth, I reasoned, must be the best way forward. So I agreed to do it. In the atmosphere of those times it seemed a sensible way to put an end to the lying. But it proved to be the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life."

"I told Diana that Anna Pasternak was doing a book on me. She seemed unconcerned."

As the book progressed, Pasternak told Hewitt the publishers wanted much more detail. Pasternak wrote a new draft and told Hewitt the book was no longer a documentary account of his life and Diana's role in it, but had become more of a love story. Hewitt was not at all pleased at this turn of events, but was eventually persuaded by Pasternak after her assurances that what she had written would be nothing but beneficial. "So I agreed that I would not try to stop it being published - not that I legally could since I had no contract with the publishers."

"But I knew in my gut it was wrong."

(Taken from Love and War, pages 162 to 164.)

When I read Hewitt's accounts of what was happening at the time he made these decisions, rather than with the benefit of hindsight, I feel a great deal of sympathy for him. Diana and Charles and every other man and his dog were talking about the Wales' marriage and affairs. Why shouldn't Hewitt try to defend himself and set the record straight from his perspective? Not all of us are equipped with the ability to make the most sensible decisions about our lives, and we often make blunders. He made some real doozies, but he admits it. He was a soft target, and he still is a soft target.
 
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Diana's former body guard Ken Wharfe was in a sticky position in that his role was solely to protect the princess, and not step in when it came to the affair. If Diana wanted to spend the weekend with Hewitt, then it was his job to execute a security plan for it, not to say "really?" He also wrote quite an intriguing book about her life. It is called Diana: Closely Guarded Secret. There's a section that talks about an undercover trip she took to Italy. I was a close Diana watcher in the '80's and '90's and love that she was able to slip away on accession without anyone knowing.
Princess Diana’s Secret Visit to Italy – The Royal Post
 
Diana's former body guard Ken Wharfe was in a sticky position in that his role was solely to protect the princess, and not step in when it came to the affair. If Diana wanted to spend the weekend with Hewitt, then it was his job to execute a security plan for it, not to say "really?" He also wrote quite an intriguing book about her life. It is called Diana: Closely Guarded Secret. There's a section that talks about an undercover trip she took to Italy. I was a close Diana watcher in the '80's and '90's and love that she was able to slip away on accession without anyone knowing.
Princess Diana’s Secret Visit to Italy – The Royal Post
I remember many years ago one body guard was quoted off the record as saying they "were there to protect their (the royals') lives, not their morals." That about sums it up.
 
I think as time goes on, James Hewitt may garner some sympathy, as more details of how things played out become available. In the beginning, i think people assumed that he had left poor Diana in the lurch and then kissed and told. But as we've seen in books and documentaries, it was Diana that broke off the relationship, and while I love her to death, I dont love her choices in letting James down easy.

I have my doubts about Queen Camilla's claims that Diana wanted him to talk to the media and help on the book "Princess in Love", im guessing thats James trying to make himself look as good as possible and Dianas not around to answer to those claims.

The posting to Germany wasnt him "letting her down" it was unfortunate, but as he said in one doc, they could have visited at roughly the same frequency they did already. But she did "throw him over" for Gilbey, and then did the same to him for the same reason Hewitt got thrown over, potential media discovery.

She must have known he was in love with her, and can you blame him???? I do feel for him, being more invested, that she was, although the comment on the squidgy tape of "that man" I think wasnt because she didnt love him, but she felt that he let her down, obviously as she ended the relationship over it. Also he was drummed out of the army, indirectly over it, and with no job to fall back on, selling his information became an attractive option, if nothing else, she should have ensured a soft landing for him to keep his mouth shut. Sadly, she picked up the upper crust habit of using and then disposing her suitors, again, love her, but not all her choices.

This kind of ties into my question about her family preparing her for married life in the aristocracy, she seemed to not know to have an affair with someone with more to lose than her, the main reason Charles slept with CPB and Lady Tryon, etc, etc, etc.

While he choices in her affairs wernt ideal, i think it was partly because she didn't have the palace machinery that helped hide and assist Charles affair, she had to figure it out on her own, and dont forget HE CHEATED FIRST, had he did his duty and focused on staying married, its doubtful shed have strayed, IMO.
 
I do wonder what Diana's bodyguard s role would have been. After he helped keep her safe while she was cheating does he then go tell the big boss, Charles, or keep Diana's confidences? Either way I don't like Wharfe or Hewitt who just can't stop milking their connection to Diana.
 
I do wonder what Diana's bodyguard s role would have been. After he helped keep her safe while she was cheating does he then go tell the big boss, Charles, or keep Diana's confidences? Either way I don't like Wharfe or Hewitt who just can't stop milking their connection to Diana.

I think Wharfe had once said in a doc that they had to report to Scotland Yard the activities of the ppl they protected. I'm sure whoever in the BRF that wanted access to those reports had them. it seems most of the drama with the Hewitt affair is more around the press finding out vs. BRF finding out.

Although I doubt that Diana had the same access to her husbands security personnel reports :)

I agree on those two constantly milking their connections to Diana. It seems that Hewitt and Wharfe's story on how the relationship ended contradict in terms of her ending it formally or just throwing him over by not taking his calls, I think the kids today call that "ghosting" LOL.

As much as Hewitts taken some deserved lumps, the more I hear, his actions seem to be that of someone who feels they were wronged. doesnt make what he did right, necessarily, but does explain it a lot better.
 
I do? Either way I don't like Wharfe or Hewitt who just can't stop milking their connection to Diana.
Xenia, I'm posting here becuase you mentioed Hewitt in another thread, about Diana's ability for friendship. And I am not sure if this is the right place to do it.. but -
You asked if Diana did more than buy things for him.. and form what I have read of her, she DID focus very intensely on her friends and she DID try to be more than just a generous present giver to them. Of course I think that she was TOO Intense, but I thnk it is not fair to see her as just a person who was able to give her friends money or nice presents, but wasn't there for them in times of trouble or to listen to them. All i've read suggests teh opposite, She did buy nice gifts, but she also was very very eager to build up a relationship, and tried to be there to help when they had problems. When Rosa M had a baby with problems She said that Diana was there, she listened to her, she gave her suggestions about organisations who could hlep etc. I think she was the same with Hewitt. that she was very intense with him, listened to him, wrote to him in the Gulf..but the paybak was she hoped/wanted an equally intense focus from him...
 
I get what your saying Denville, but isn't there more to friendship than just being there when things get really bad?
The reason I brought up Hewitt is because in a documentary about Diana which he was featured in it seems like it was sex, playing house in a cottage, and gifts. Then when he wasn't at her beck and call to have fun with she deserted him. Then when things heated up, "was he going to war" she reached out again.
Perhaps you have more info on their situation, I have never read his book and haven't read a Diana book since 2000.
 
I think as time goes on, James Hewitt may garner some sympathy, as more details of how things played out become available.


Not from me!

I think Hewitt is a thoroughly despicable man.
Whatever Diana's failings, it seems to me that a gentleman would have kept his mouth shut.

(Just contrast his behavior with that of the actress Susan George. I read an interview in which she said she was offered a fortune by one of the tabloids to tell about her relationship with Charles. She admitted she was tempted by such a large sum of money, but she turned it down because she preferred to retain the friendship).

Now THAT is classy behavior!
 
Xenia, yes of course there is more ot a friendship than sharing the bad times.. but I think that Diana did feel that she was a useless person,so it meant more to her that she could help people...and perhaps she felt a freindship wasn't really a friendship unless the people involved DID help each other and give to each other in the bad times.
I dotn know much about the Hewitt affair as I despise him, but he was a bit of a compromise candidate for her. I think she needed a lover, she needed someone to keep her company, to sleep with, and it is possible that a "better" man might have shied away from getting into such a difficult and dangerous entanglement with the heir to the thrones unhappy wife. But Hewitt was glad to have a woman who doted on him, bought him things etc. I dont know if they had much in common other than sex and her need for a companion.. and I think, to be fair that his being there helped her get over her Bulimia.
I dont entirely blame him for being annoyed that she didn't want him to go abroad for his army career, but I can see too that she was lonely, she needed him... She problaby had had a strong hint from Charles and the powers that be, that they accepted Hewitt as her "suitable reasonably discreet lover" (before he started talking ot the press) and maybe she felt that if she lost him, where was she going to find another man?
She had to be very very careful with her men friends...
I think that with her other male friends who were just friends, it was a lgiht hearted chit chat about little things and she got on well with them, but the part of her that wanted a special close relationship, whether a freindship or a love affair, wanted soemthing special.
So she expected her "deeper" friends like Colthurst to be there to give her advice and listen to her A LOT, but sh was prepared to do the same for them, if they needed it...
 
I do think that Hewitt loved Diana and did his very best for her while they were together. She regained her health during that time, but even he found her exhaustingly needy. He said once that however many times he told Diana he loved her she still needed that reassurance again and again until, as he put it the words lost their meaning they were repeated so often. Nevertheless, he did adore her and after it all finished I don't think there there is much doubt that James did feel deeply depressed and even suicidal for a time, as he said.

That doesn't excuse his actions over the last quarter of a century of course, but there's something rather pathetic about James Hewitt, all the same.
 
To be honest, I don't know that much about the years Diana spent with James Hewitt but after reading this thread, I think its time I read Hewitt's books "Moving On" and "Love and War". From what I can see, I can get both of them for around $6 so that'll be my reading list for June.

Stay tuned to this thread for my upcoming opinion of it all after I read the books. :D
 
He SAID he adored her.. if he had, he would never have sold her out for money
 
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