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  #1661  
Old 10-22-2020, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elan View Post
If he was more than a little disillusioned about his romance and career path, a guess is that giving the audience what they wanted, in an entertainment medium, was possibly some form of catharsis, and a chance to regain some humor in life, playing up the character people had formed and branded of him.
He still didn't *have* to choose to be a cad/indiscreet about the details of their affair, although yes once he had signed up to various TV shows/books/documentaries then he was expected to divulge juicy gossip, but he didn't have to do that in the first place.

He co operated with the book "Princess in Love" before Diana confirmed the affair in her Panorama interview. Those were both after he had left the army in 1994 and it seems he wasn't in line for promotion even before everything became public. In the army officer jobs get increasingly fewer after Major and you either go up or out.

He has tried his hand at various business opportunities and self employment but those seem to fail and that's often when he went back to talking about Diana or selling her correspondence. So he did have other ways of earning money even if he was blackballed by some connections or firms in the usual post army path for "gentlemen".

The most egregious was when he participated in the "Am I Harry's biological father?" nonsense, having previously said it was impossible and dragging a grieving teenager/young man into his quest for money.
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  #1662  
Old 10-22-2020, 09:21 AM
Majesty
 
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Originally Posted by Heavs View Post
He still didn't *have* to choose to be a cad/indiscreet about the details of their affair, although yes once he had signed up to various TV shows/books/documentaries then he was expected to divulge juicy gossip, but he didn't have to do that in the first place.

He co operated with the book "Princess in Love" before Diana confirmed the affair in her Panorama interview. Those were both after he had left the army in 1994 and it seems he wasn't in line for promotion even before everything became public. In the army officer jobs get increasingly fewer after Major and you either go up or out.

He has tried his hand at various business opportunities and self employment but those seem to fail and that's often when he went back to talking about Diana or selling her correspondence. So he did have other ways of earning money even if he was blackballed by some connections or firms in the usual post army path for "gentlemen".

The most egregious was when he participated in the "Am I Harry's biological father?" nonsense, having previously said it was impossible and dragging a grieving teenager/young man into his quest for money.
It was the fact that he did divulge his affair with Diana for money that resulted in a certain amount of "blackballing. " If he hadn't done that, he could have gotten other jobs after leaving the army. he did not get on in the army because he kept failing promotion exams.. But once he left and only had a modest pension that's when he started to Milk the Diana affair...
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  #1663  
Old 10-27-2020, 07:53 PM
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He seems to have made many bad investments. And apparently squandered the money he got from the book deals.
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  #1664  
Old 11-18-2020, 12:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Sandy345 View Post
He seems to have made many bad investments. And apparently squandered the money he got from the book deals.

Finance is not everyone's strong suit, but the point is well taken.

Still, it's surprising how comfortable most are with the basic idea of a Cavalry officer atop his mount, reaching out a hand to a beleaguered, emotionally ailing Princess..her spiraling is arrested, and as things further improve, the fellow is eventually deemed less than suitable when contrasted with a world of high profile candidates? For someone of a caring and sensitive nature that Diana was known for, it's unsettling and sobering to be observing only the 'very best' for herself, following Hewitt's return from Iraq.

Unless it was reasoned that other soldiers knowing of their communication was beyond the pale, as Ken Wharfe assiduously claimed, dreading with horror the notion of letters sent to him often (daily).
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  #1665  
Old 11-18-2020, 06:11 AM
Majesty
 
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Finance is not everyone's strong suit, but the point is well taken.

Still, it's surprising how comfortable most are with the basic idea of a Cavalry officer atop his mount, reaching out a hand to a beleaguered, emotionally ailing Princess..her spiraling is arrested, and as things further improve, the fellow is eventually deemed less than suitable when contrasted with a world of high profile candidates? For someone of a caring and sensitive nature that Diana was known for, it's unsettling and sobering to be observing only the 'very best' for herself, following Hewitt's return from Iraq.

Unless it was reasoned that other soldiers knowing of their communication was beyond the pale, as Ken Wharfe assiduously claimed, dreading with horror the notion of letters sent to him often (daily).
Im not at all sure what you mean by the first paragraph.. but If in your last sentence you are saying that for other soldiers to know of their affair would be a bad thing.. yes it most certainly was. Hewitt apparenetly waved around her letters boasting when he got one from home - a "blue letter" and in his doing that, it was very possible that others would soon find out who was in touch with him. He also borrowed a journalists mobile phone to call her. If you can't see that this was appalling indiscreet behaviour which might well lead to the discovery of hte affair by a lot of people, I can't understand that. Diana wasn't just any married woman. She was the wife of the POW..
His revelation of the affair terrified her becuase she feared that if she was trying ot divorce Charles, yet keep a public position, the public might turn against her if she were known to be having an affair..
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  #1666  
Old 11-18-2020, 06:32 AM
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Even if Diana had been Mrs. Jane Smith married to a ordinary citizen, Hewitt's behavior was below the standards of what was the code of conduct for an officer and a gentleman. Hewitt's flaunting his affair actually put his career in the military in jeopardy.

"Married or single officers who engage in adulterous affairs "jeopardize their status as an officer should the circumstances of the affair become public, and if it brings either the officer or the Army into disrepute."

https://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1997-06-07-1997158008-story.html#:~:text=But%20adultery%20is%20one%20of,by%20official%20British%20army%20regulations.&text=Married%20or%20single%20officers%20who,or%20the%20Army%20into%20disrepute."

The heart wants what the heart wants but in this case, I believe both Diana and Hewitt were playing with fire. Diana, unlike most women entering into an extramarital affair, probably had the idea fixed in her head that there could be no divorce and by the time she hooked up with Hewitt, it seemed like it was the *only* option and way to go about finding a shred of happiness and companionship.

I can't lay all the blame on Hewitt. It takes two to tango.
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  #1667  
Old 11-18-2020, 06:37 AM
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Of course his behaviour was shocking in his lack of care for his girlfriend. And it would have been bad had she been an ordinary woman but as the Princess Of wales, her having an extramarital relationship and its being revealed would not just embarrass her among her own circle but around the world. And Hewitt knew that -
Diana was not able to wlak out of an unhappy marriage and get a divorce like an ordinary woman, her only consoltation in her marriage was that she could quietly lead a separate life to her husband and have an affair provided she was very discreet. However because she was so popular with the press, they were noticing how much time she spent apart from Charles and so the living apart wasn't easy.. and she could have an affair but she had to be discreet and Hewitt wasn't discreet. He was quite the opposite. I cant' understand how anyone could defend him.
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  #1668  
Old 11-18-2020, 07:32 AM
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I never thought Hewitt was a good person. My understanding is now he's had a stroke and is in poor condition so I don't suppose he will be talking about Diana anymore.
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  #1669  
Old 11-18-2020, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by QueenMathilde View Post
I never thought Hewitt was a good person. My understanding is now he's had a stroke and is in poor condition so I don't suppose he will be talking about Diana anymore.
he had a stroke about 2 years ago. I am not sure how he is now but he hasnt appeared on any programmes for a while, However Ken Wharfe and Paul Burrell still appear talking about Diana.
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  #1670  
Old 11-18-2020, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
he had a stroke about 2 years ago. I am not sure how he is now but he hasnt appeared on any programmes for a while, However Ken Wharfe and Paul Burrell still appear talking about Diana.
I personally don't find Paul Burrel genuine. he comes across as very self serving and opportunistic person
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  #1671  
Old 11-18-2020, 09:04 AM
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Originally Posted by QueenEmpath View Post
I personally don't find Paul Burrel genuine. he comes across as very self serving and opportunistic person
yes of course he is....
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  #1672  
Old 11-18-2020, 09:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
yes of course he is....
He seems to always play the gay BFF card whom princess Diana used to confide. When it was clearly proven by people that he and Diana weren't close
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  #1673  
Old 11-18-2020, 09:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Denville View Post
Of course his behaviour was shocking in his lack of care for his girlfriend. And it would have been bad had she been an ordinary woman but as the Princess Of wales, her having an extramarital relationship and its being revealed would not just embarrass her among her own circle but around the world. And Hewitt knew that -
Diana was not able to wlak out of an unhappy marriage and get a divorce like an ordinary woman, her only consoltation in her marriage was that she could quietly lead a separate life to her husband and have an affair provided she was very discreet. However because she was so popular with the press, they were noticing how much time she spent apart from Charles and so the living apart wasn't easy.. and she could have an affair but she had to be discreet and Hewitt wasn't discreet. He was quite the opposite. I cant' understand how anyone could defend him.
Today, he'd be the first person to agree with you on failings. It seems certain he carried a false confidence with her profound declarations of love in the letters, which proved not entirely genuine imo. If she truly adored him, she would not have kept adding up ettiquette breaches as everyone here does now. Consider the opposite, a woman might even celebrate his actions if she deeply loved him..or at least in theory it's possible when a woman has found a soulmate.. not carp, and rant about his ettiquette misteps, because she interprets it differently. Add to it the stress of serving overseas, along with receiving an avalanche of prose, on practically a daily basis..

To many that doesn't excuse it at all, but it might clarify some of the context.
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  #1674  
Old 11-18-2020, 09:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Today, he'd be the first person to agree with you on failings. It seems certain he carried a false confidence with her profound declarations of love in the letters, which proved not entirely genuine imo. If she truly adored him, she would not have kept adding up his ettiquette breaches as everyone here does now. Consider the opposite, a woman might even celebrate his actions if she deeply loved him..or at least in theory it's possible when a woman has found a soulmate.. not carp, and rant about his ettiquette misteps, because she interprets it differently. Add to it the stress of serving overseas, along with receiving an avalanche of concern for him, on practically a daily basis..

To many that doesn't excuse him at all, but it might clarify some of the context.
What do you mean? these were not "etiquette mis steps". His actions were selfish, and treacherous. I've never heard of Diana "totting up his etiquette mis steps". Any one would think she was writing to tell him of all the times he had worn the wrong shoes or slurrped his soup at dinner. She wrote love letters to him, when he was serving because she cared for him and worried about him.
She grew uneasy because of his behaviour in the Gulf when he waved around her letters and borrowed a journalists phone to call her.. Can you not see that that was appalling behaviour? He might as well have taken an ad in the paper saying "Im bonking the Princess of Wales.."
And IMO Hewitt has never expressed any genuine being sorry for his behaviour.... He knows he's despised for the way he behaved, publicising their affair, telling things that she told him in confidence, making a career out of having been her lover for a bit.. and he doesn't care because he made a living out of it.. and went on doing it....
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  #1675  
Old 11-18-2020, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
What do you mean? these were not "etiquette mis steps". His actions were selfish, and treacherous. I've never heard of Diana "totting up his etiquette mis steps". Any one would think she was writing to tell him of all the times he had worn the wrong shoes or slurrped his soup at dinner. She wrote love letters to him, when he was serving because she cared for him and worried about him.

Are you sure you're not interpreting or attributing them as treacherous, rather than it being something very different. Treachery..? You mention she cared for him and did send wonderful words, but other than that I'm not sure what exists to prove by 'action or deed' she truly loved him..
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  #1676  
Old 11-18-2020, 10:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Are you sure you're not interpreting or attributing them as treacherous, rather than it being something very different. Treachery..? You mention she cared for him and did send wonderful words, but other than that I'm not sure what exists to prove by 'action or deed' she truly loved him..
No Im saying that he was treacherous. He knew that Diana needed to be ultra discreet about any affairs she had, and he deliberately hinted about his affair with her and then sold the story to the media. What can that be, but treacherous? And it does not matter whether she loved him or it was just a light affair. For Diana it was difficult to engage in any extra marital activity and she was afraid that if the story got out it might ruin her reputation with the public and hand a weapon to the RF if there was a divorce.
I dont know what you mean by your last sentence. I think she was in love with him for a time, she wrote to him when he was away, she bought him presents, she made a fuss of him. He repaid that by selling their love story for money. If you doubt that she loved him, I don't know how you can imagine, given his behaviour that he loved her or that he even showed her common decency....
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  #1677  
Old 11-18-2020, 08:11 PM
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Its one thing to talk about a common affair after the break up...but there was nothing common about Diana and her position. If you look up the word 'cad' in the dictionary there you will find his picture. Put aside failing the 'Major's Exam' three times, being arrested for cocaine, or even his failed forays into business and instead just focus on him trying to sell her letters for ten million pounds...that is unforgivable. The princess valued loyalty and was high on her list with friends and even lovers. Why he did it was a great lack of common sense, and has finalized his family legacy.
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  #1678  
Old 11-19-2020, 01:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
..For Diana it was difficult to engage in any extra marital activity and she was afraid that if the story got out it might ruin her reputation with the public and hand a weapon to the RF if there was a divorce.

Her life did have those concerns, but a beautiful opportunity presented itself to show what the words really meant -- behind the letters as far as resolve, staying power, courageousness, etc..

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/257690409902224726/
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  #1679  
Old 11-19-2020, 05:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Elan View Post
Her life did have those concerns, but a beautiful opportunity presented itself to show what the words really meant -- behind the letters as far as resolve, staying power, courageousness, etc..

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/257690409902224726/
What do you mean? What beautiful opportunity? For whom? Do you mean for J Hewitt or for Diana? He was having an affair with a married woman who had far more to lose than other women, if her affair became public. He sold the story, for money. How can anyone defend that?
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  #1680  
Old 11-19-2020, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Denville View Post
What do you mean? What beautiful opportunity? For whom? Do you mean for J Hewitt or for Diana? He was having an affair with a married woman who had far more to lose than other women, if her affair became public. He sold the story, for money. How can anyone defend that?
Since the book was not a part of returning home, let's highlight the calls from the desert and piles of letters for the moment? No book deals happened in Iraq. As I've suggested, I don't believe there was a deep abiding love from her, even if he been 'the perfect gentleman'.

So imagine Diana had decided she would spend the rest of her life with him, 'in spite' of public fallout to her from this, (assuming she loved him). It would have required a different type of spirit, determination, and braveness to do such a thing. To not be consumed by what the press says in the short term, including the purported waving of letters around. Ignoring everyone that implored her NOT to write him, for abject fear that her private thoughts would be known to others.

Her reputation would have continued to flourish, and I guarantee you she would have been widely applauded for doing so, in a short time. That kind of tenacity, gutsiness in the face of adversity, is uncommon.

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/257690409902224726/
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