Diana and James Hewitt


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He doesn't really sound like a guy indifferent to publicity about his life back then with Diana. When the moment arrived and 'News of the World' dropped the bombshell, Army brass of course, took notice. So one day an adjutant took him off to the side, handing him the front section, pages long, article.
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"I looked at the front page that read: "I LOST MY LOVER TO DI". There was a picture of Diana, and beside her an old girlfriend who had written to me in the Gulf.

"I just froze. This was the moment I had been dreading for more than four years, and it was more heart stopping than anything I had come up against in the past weeks. I took the paper out to the desert to read it. Today I am a little more acquainted with the ways of the tabloid press and accept much of it as pure fiction. At the time I innocently believed what I read, that Emma Stewardson had gone to the News of the World, to say that she and I were lovers (this was not true -- we had been lovers but the relationship was long over).

"There were pages of the stuff..Emma had been dressed up to look like Diana -- same hair, jewellry, and pose. I wondered what had possessed her to do this. She had often been changeable in her moods when I knew her but she had never been downright spiteful.

'I had to talk to Diana. This was not at all easy from the desert but there was a Ptarmigan field telephone that linked up with other connecting nodes which could eventually be patched through to London.

'..I told her I had just seen News of the World. She said she had seen it, too. I told her I was terribly sorry -- I wanted to know what the reaction had been there. She said nobody was saying much. She said she wasn't too worried about it. In retrospect she seemed remarkably cool. She hoped I wasn't getting too much stick about it. I said my worst concern was just sitting here in the desert not being able to do anything to help. Diana told me not to be worried and we both sort of reassured each other that it would blow over and everything would be all right. But we both knew this would not be so."
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Thanks for the correction about Germany. I'd totally forgotten about that. Its been quite a while since I've read anything on Diana and Hewitt.

Once the news of the affair did become public, there was no closing that Pandora's box ever again and the relationship went into its decline.

I do have Hewitt's "Love and War" here but haven't really read much of it yet. Perhaps I should put it on my list of things to do this week. :D
 
well he was te one who made it public... with his hints to the Pres and then his little book....
 
Can't argue with that. Its what branded him as a cad from that point forward. :D
 
Can't argue with that. Its what branded him as a cad from that point forward. :D

There certainly is a concensus, but cad is an oversimplification. It probably isn't possible for the public to grasp him in any other manner. Worth noting however..

Hewitt loved Diana as much, and longer than anyone she'd ever known. Ultimately she tired of him and believed there were better suitors. She came close to finding that. I don't think he fell in love after her. That part of him is ignored.

youtubecutter.com/watch/76b13c01/
 
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Hewitt loved Diana as much, and longer than anyone else she'd ever known. Ultimately she tired of him and believed there were better suitors than him. She came close to finding it. I don't think he fell in love after her. That part of him is ignored.

This is what leads me to believe that Diana never got past the "fairy tale" or dime store romance kind of love where she was adored, put on a pedestal and practically worshipped as a goddess. The real, enduring love of give and take and compromise and working together towards a common goal never really entered into the picture with her.

Basically, I think Diana was in love with the idea of being in love and the rush of adrenaline and emotion that a newly found romance brings. Forever and ever with the good, the bad and the ugly wasn't in her wheelhouse whatsoever.
 
do you think she should continue to love someone who clearly abused her love and made money out of hteir affair? J Hewitt was never up to much...but given the difficulties of her finding a lover In her situation, he was some sort of solution. when he began to use their relationship to get money and fame for himself, it is hardly surprising that she got tired of him and angry with him and ended the affair. Why should she "continue to be in love" and try to make compromises with a man who sold their story for money?
 
There certainly is a concensus, but cad is an oversimplification. It probably isn't possible for the public to grasp him in any other manner. Worth noting however..

Hewitt loved Diana as much, and longer than anyone she'd ever known. Ultimately she tired of him and believed there were better suitors. She came close to finding that. I don't think he fell in love after her. That part of him is ignored.

youtubecutter.com/watch/76b13c01/

If he loved her he would have kept quiet about their affair, He would not have sold the story for money nor gone on years after her death, makng a career out of talking about her.
 
I was actually working on the the idea that stated that Diana tired of the relationship and went on to greener pastures. Hewitt was put out to pasture so to speak and going public with the relationship kind of sealed the envelope on that romance.
 
If he loved her he would have kept quiet about their affair, He would not have sold the story for money nor gone on years after her death, makng a career out of talking about her.
You are so right! What is all the story about him and prince Harry, it was always comments that it was his child and no Charles. Anyway he got karma, he never married or have children. Now one thing I do not understand whit all the money that he made sellinghis story how is possible he was living with his mother in a 2 bed flat
?
 
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You are so right! What is all the story about him and prince Harry, it was always comments that it was his child and no Charles.

It was malicious gossip based on Harry's red hair (like Hewitt's) whereas Harry's hair comes from the Spencer family, which has a strong red hair gene (eg Diana's father, her brother Charles & her sister Sarah)
 
I was actually working on the the idea that stated that Diana tired of the relationship and went on to greener pastures. Hewitt was put out to pasture so to speak and going public with the relationship kind of sealed the envelope on that romance.
really? Even though it was Hewitt who began to drop hints about the affair when he was in the Gulf, talking loudly about how he had letters from home and waving them about.. and borrowing a journalist's mobile phone to call Diana.
He was not "put out to pasture", he was clearly being indiscreet and starting to think of how best he could exploit the relationship for financiail gain.. and before very long he did get Anna Pasternak to write his book about the affair.
 
It was malicious gossip based on Harry's red hair (like Hewitt's) whereas Harry's hair comes from the Spencer family, which has a strong red hair gene (eg Diana's father, her brother Charles & her sister Sarah)
Yes that is very true and he has a line of red hair through his mother and I was thinking Meghan's father was red hair too I believe so their baby might has a chance of red hair !
 
It was malicious gossip based on Harry's red hair (like Hewitt's) whereas Harry's hair comes from the Spencer family, which has a strong red hair gene (eg Diana's father, her brother Charles & her sister Sarah)
The Spencer family has been known for their red hair for well over 150 years. Diana was the only one of her father's four children to NOT have red hair and there are several redheads amongst the grandchildren.
 
J Hewitt was never up to much...but given the difficulties of her finding a lover In her situation, he was some sort of solution.

My goodness... a pretty begrudging view of things that took place then, if one looks at the quality of her life before....and after Hewitt. Ex., for a period of years Diana was gripped by a chronic type of depression. With support and patience he helped her conquer much of that. One of his rewards for it was an Army superior in Germany targeting and calling him to the carpet, then handing out punishment for one of the most ridiculous minor infractions.

With it being common practice to relate and empathize with a great number of circumstances that affected Diana, that thinking might also be helpful to understand others close to her. To walk a mile in his shoes should not be extraordinarily difficult, or as scarce a thing as it is this many years later.
 
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My goodness... a pretty begrudging view of things that took place then, if one looks at the quality of her life before...and after, Hewitt. Ex., for a period of years Diana was gripped by a chronic type of depression. With support and patience he helped her conquer much of that. One of his rewards for it was an Army superior in Germany targeting and calling him to the carpet, then handing out punishment for one of the most ridiculous minor infractions.

With it being common practice to relate and empathize with a great number of circumstances that affected Diana, that thinking might also be helpful to understand others close to her. To walk a mile in his shoes should not be extraordinarily difficult, or as scarce a thing as it is this many years later.

The UK Army takes things quite seriously and there are two very good reasons that Hewitt was called to task while he was actively serving crown and country.

1. Hewitt very well could have been tried for high treason. It is still unlawful to have consensual sex with monarch’s wife, heir’s wife or his unmarried eldest daughter. No specifics on any daughters after that but basically the Royal women highest up in succession are out of bounds.

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/10-crimes...p36d7vuyeowMJq-IM4skDW17TLB7LqcViVJ0q0fvUWX-g

2. The values and standards of the British Army states clearly in its section of appropriate behavior that "social misbehaviour, particularly the wrong sort of relationships, can undermine trust. Unwelcome sexual attention, taking sexual advantage of someone more junior than you or an affair with a partner of a teammate may damage the integrity and honesty of those involved, and damage the team."

Lets just say Hewitt did not fit the description of an officer and a gentleman in the British Army's eyes.
 
As far as no.2 of the rules above is concerned, Diana's estranged husband had an affair with the wife of a fellow officer in the Household Regiment for many years. That presumably also doesn't fit the description of officer and gentleman in the British Army's eyes. However, for one individual there was punishment, for the other, nothing. Wonder whether James Hewitt ever pondered that little conundrum?
 
I had thought about that too. Two sides of the same coin. The only difference I can see here really is that, at the time, Hewitt was actively serving in the military.
 
I had thought about that too. Two sides of the same coin. The only difference I can see here really is that, at the time, Hewitt was actively serving in the military.


Yes, and more over Diana was, after all THE Princess of Wales; THE wife of the heir, and not just a Mrs Jones.



It is still hight treason.


Both should have known better!


Diana was offered ALL Help possible by Charles and the Royal Family - she just wouldn't take help from them whatever they offered. As she allready rejected every advice, information and help that was offered her while beeing the bride and after.


She chose to listen to clairvoyante and hairdressers instead.
 
I had thought about that too. Two sides of the same coin. The only difference I can see here really is that, at the time, Hewitt was actively serving in the military.
the difference was that J Hewitt was a selfish brainless unreliable man who showed how little he cared for Diana, and how was using her for ego boosting and to make money...
 
It's hard to say how many took Diana's skeletal appearance for granted; in the sense of consuming very little calories coupled with bulimia is not necessarily life threatening..but has the potential to be. Apart from the time she once careened down a flight of stairs, various red flags were apparent. It's conceivable she could have lost her life early on.

Her riding pictures reveal largely skin and bone when they first met. Surely he communicated this gently to her as well? From the mid 80's onward she eventually restored her physique and health. Most often this is attributed to the help of 'experts'. It is curious that Hewitt's name is not among them.
 
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It's hard to say how many took Diana's skeletal appearance for granted; in the sense of consuming very little calories coupled with bulimia is not necessarily life threatening..but has the potential to be. Apart from the time she once careened down a flight of stairs, various red flags were apparent. It's conceivable she could have lost her life early on.

Her riding pictures reveal largely skin and bone when they first met. Surely he communicated this gently to her as well? From the mid 80's onward she eventually restored her physique and health. Most often this is attributed to the help of 'experts'. It is curious that Hewitt's name is not among them.

well las time I looked James Hewitt wasn't an expert in anything but (as I believe he put it himself horses and sex). I would be puzzled to see what role he had in "restoring Diana to health"....
 
Being raised around equines, imo gave him an extra dimension beyond the average Army officer. There is a great deal of caring and nurturing of horses, where they often develop errant behaviors depending on many factors. During their mornings of riding, he was astute enough to understand that Diana was not as centered as she could be, yet did enjoy outings enough to share conversation and take further lessons. Done gradually, it was a crucial part of regaining a positive outlook for herself.

It probably did not escape her notice (?) that hewitt was an amiable fellow, had a sense of humor, fine health and vigorous constitution.

Business deals that sour are one thing, but flunking Army exams reinforced the idea that he wasn't Oxford material. Previously informed he would not have to take them - in an acting position of major. His notoriety caused a reversal on this. Big part of the exams....Battlefield tactics, which he had firsthand knowledge. [ 'Fail' grade by 1% ] ..


:englandflag:
 
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I suppose he's the only army officer who knows about horses?
 
I really don't think Hewitt was an expert on anything really and being an expert at something never came into play as to why Diana was attracted to him. I'd even wager that the biggest reason for his attraction was simply that he was there and available. IIRC, he was hired to teach Diana (and William?) to ride.

It was at a point in her marriage where she had little ones and a husband that seemed to always be off somewhere working. She was lonely, down in the dumps and insecure. Then, there he was. Hewitt the knight in shining armor who listened to her, talked to her, paid attention to her and she fell like a ton of bricks for the guy.
 
I really don't think Hewitt was an expert on anything really and being an expert at something never came into play as to why Diana was attracted to him. I'd even wager that the biggest reason for his attraction was simply that he was there and available. IIRC, he was hired to teach Diana (and William?) to ride.

It was at a point in her marriage where she had little ones and a husband that seemed to always be off somewhere working. She was lonely, down in the dumps and insecure. Then, there he was. Hewitt the knight in shining armor who listened to her, talked to her, paid attention to her and she fell like a ton of bricks for the guy.

I was being a bit sarcastic. I believe that Hewitt said that he "knew about horses and sex", the implication being that he didn't know much else.
I think that its true that Diana fell for Hewitt because he was there, to an extent. In her situation, although she was a very lovely young woman, she was very isolated by her position. Men might admire her, but at that time, I think most men would be intimidated by her position and her marriage. I don't think many men would have made a pass at her. It might lead to very unpleasant complications. She wasn't just a royal wife.. she was the future Queen, the wife of the Prince of Wales. She was the wife of a man who famously "could not get a divorce." I think that a lot of people would have felt it was quite unthinkable for "the Princess of Wales" to have an affair...at that particular time.

I think even Hewitt who was not reflective or intelligent, was a bit unnerved at times that he had actualy had the audacity ot end up in an affair with Diana Princess of Wales..
But I think he was egotistical enough mostly to just think "Wow I've scored here, I have a rich royal lady as my girlfriend and she's crazy about me..."
So while I think diana did fall for him a bit, a lot of it was "he was there and he was ready to make love to her and keep her happy" while other men might be intimidated by the whole situation of being attracted to this particular woman....
She was lonely, Charles was busy with his work or his mistress. Her children were loved but too small to be full time companions and she needed someone and JH was ready to become her lover....
 
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well he was the one who made it public... with his hints to the Pres and then his little book....

He mentions the Pasternak book as something that to this day wishes he hadn't participated in. This is not to suggest that the following will change anyone's mind, but it might help illustrate some of the backdrop and confusion of how it unfolded. He emphasizes the point well that 'Princess in Love' is his greatest regret :

"In June 1992 the Sunday Times began to serialize the Andrew Morton book. Morton had written to me asking if I would talk to him about the Princess but I had declined. Diana's attitude had always been: 'Do what you like.' The book alluded to my friendship with her and related how she was entertained by my parents in Devon while the boys went riding with me. I could have told him that my parents had long been separated and the boys didn't go riding with me.'

"Some of Diana's friends did speak to the author. Carolyn Bartholomew, who had known her since they were at school, seemed to be the person who gave the most sympathetic account of the Princess's problems. She knew all about Diana's illness, the disaster of her marriage and most things about the relationship with me. When the book was published and people wanted to know whether Carolyn had let Diana down by talking to the author, Diana made a point of going along to Carolyn's house and embracing her for a pre-arranged press photo. But the truth was to later to emerge that the main source for much of the book was Diana herself. In fact, it seemed most likely that the whole project was her idea. She recorded a series of tapes, which a friend then passed on to Andrew Morton.

"The revelations were instrumental in at last securing her separation from Prince Charles at the end of the year. I telephoned her to say how happy I was she had found her freedom."

cont..
 
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...Prior to working with Pasternak, Hewitt endured a soul searching trek across sections of Africa, in part from a desire to put his Army career behind him, and storybook romance as well.

"In fact, just by travelling through the continent, you realize more than ever that you are a mere speck in the universe. There are many greater problems in the world than your own petty problems.

"In one respect the expedition had failed. I had been unable to get Diana out of my mind, let alone out of my system. I knew I never could and never would. But I was able to put things into perspective. She called me early in 1994 and said I had to do something about all the innuendo that was recycling itself about us in the papers. People felt free to invent what they wanted. According to one paper, Diana and I were living together at my cousin's house in Fulham. In fact, she didn't even know the place existed. ..Counsel on how to stop such stories was not optimistic -- there was nothing Fleet street would like more than to go to court because it meant that Diana would have to appear. Was I prepared to do this? I said I wasn't. The press knew this and that was why they kept going after me.

"Diana urged me to give an interview with Richard Kay in the hope that this would put a stop to the speculation. After my experience in the Gulf I wasn't sure. But I did give a long interview to Anna Pasternak (whom I knew through friends) in the Daily Express about my friendship with the Princess. This was an error. I was held up to ridicule by other papers for the fact that I said nothing new -- merely repeated the same old story which they knew to be false. The Palace, Downing Street, Fleet street, and many others were aware of the true facts of our relationship."

"Anna said she would like to write a book which would present Diana and myself in a sympathetic light without any tabloid spin. I thought about it for several days and nights. Nothing could be as bad as the press I was now getting. Truth, I reasoned, must be the the best way forward. So I agreed to it. But it proved to be the biggest mistake of my life."
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Its a bit late to regret it once he's done it.. and he was clearly always working towards the idea of selling the story, with his borrowing a journalists phone.. dropping hints about the fact that he received letters from Diana etc.
 
A general assumption rests on the premise that he had it in mind to cash in on the relationship from the outset, with the eventual Pasternak book a natural progression. However, left out of the argument is that he considered the option of shooting himself after it transpired. The narrative of an unfeeling self serving fellow devoid of scruples and conscience is how the public began to perceive him. And more importantly they do not allow for redemption. Fwiw..

"I told Diana that Anna was doing a book on me. She seemed unconcerned. After Anna submitted some early material, they came back and said it wasn't what they wanted. They needed much more detail. Anna said she was certain she could find a way around this. She wrote quickly---a new draft was submitted in just over a month. She rang me to say that the book was no longer a documentary account of my life and Diana's role in it, but had become a love story. I said this sounded wrong to me. We should meet as soon as possible.

'Anna and her mother arrived at the village which was a halfway point between our houses. The three of us sat in a corner of a field and we discussed it backwards and forwards. I said that I was not at all happy about this. I had spoken to Diana and neither was she. I didn't want it published. I was prepared to give the publisher's advance back.

'Both Anna and her mother were now in tears. Anna said the book had gone too far and it was too late to stop it. She asked for Diana's telephone number to assure her the book would not be harmful. I didn't give her the number, but Anna's desire to do this and fact that both she and her mother had such utter conviction that what Anna had written would be nothing but beneficial was finally persuasive. So I agreed that I would not try and stop it being published -- not that I could since I had no contract with the publisher.

'But I knew in my gut it was wrong. The story broke in early October '94 that a book was to be published in which I confirmed that I had an affair with Diana and the press were on my back as never before."

cont..
 
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